Chapter III

Now, sitting in the booth in "Apples," nervously playing with my bread knife, I found that my prediction was, unfortunately, extremely accurate. If things kept up this way, I would not be thanking anyone for any of this. At least my obligation would be discharged. I'd never have to go through this nonsense again. I looked at my watch again. Another ten minutes had passed. I resolved that Riley didn't arrive in three minutes I was going to leave. I kept my eyes down on the clock, willing it forward until I reached my excused time. With just thirty seconds left, I heard hostesses voice.

"Right here," she said and I felt my heart jump into my throat. So close to getting out of this, but now my date was here. I looked up as a person flopped into the seat across me.

"I am so sorry," she said, "I could get a c...oh...I am sorry... must be the wrong table." It was, I was shocked to find, a woman sitting across from me. Clearly, more than one date was going on tonight and the hostess had made a pretty blatant error.

"Yeah uh..." I said, "I am waiting on a blind date..." I looked to find the hostess, but she had already walked away.

"Me too," the woman said. She was a good deal younger than me; I estimated she was around 25 years old. She didn't exactly look like she was prepared for a date, though I had to admit she looked much prettier than me. She was around the same height as me, but much thinner. While I had a voluptuous build (or doughy if you ask me on a day when I am not feeling so hot about myself), she was rail thin. I estimated she weighed around 105lbs. She was wearing a tight white t-shirt with black lettering that said "The Clash" and a pair of skin-tight black jeans. She had small, perky breasts that sat up high in her t-shirt, a flat stomach, somewhat narrow hips, and thin legs. I noticed (for some reason) that she had small, delicate hands that clasped her iphone and her fingernails were painted black. She had pale white skin, thick pink lips, a small pixie nose and bright, massive blue eyes. Her make-up was kind of intense though applied with some skill. Most strikingly perhaps, she had messy dirty-blonde hair underneath a trendy black hat. And when I say messy, I mean it had a strong rat's nest appearance. Though, somehow given her general appearance, it actually kind of worked.

I laughed a little to myself, not exactly the tall, dark and handsome date I'd expected. "I guess the restaurant made a mistake, we will get it sorted out when the waitress comes," I said. The girl nodded. She gave me an awkward smile, pretty and toothy.

"I should've figured something like this would happen, my luck," the woman said and shrugged her shoulders. She sort of stretched out a bit, looking a bit tired. She arched her back into the booth, pressing her breasts forward against her tight shirt, and then leaned back.

"Oh I know, I told my friend this was going to happen. Well, I mean not this exactly, but something bad," I said and the woman nodded.

"Your friend the one who set you up?" she asked.

"Yeah, how about you?"

"Oh some guy I work with," she said. There didn't really seem to be anything else to say. I looked across at her for a moment, felt self-conscious, and then looked away. She seemed a bit embarrassed too. Though, to be honest, the fact that she was in the same predicament made me feel a little better. She was a very attractive girl, so maybe a blind date wasn't just for pathetic, old people.

"Maybe our dates are sitting together at some other table," she said after a long awkward pause. I laughed, a little more forcefully than I intended, trying to sound casual.

"I think you'd have heard by now," I said, "Guys would be...less understanding. I think our boys are late." I explained.

"Yeah, a little uptight," she said and we both uncomfortably nodded together. There was silence for nearly a minute after that. I looked at the pattern on the tablecloth. I heard her hand tapping on the seat next to her.

"Well at least it is a nice night for a date...if they ever show up," I said, looking out the window.

"Yeah..." she said. It was very dark already, but the moon was full, casting a pale blue light on the street outside the restaurant. People shuffled by slowly and each youngish man who walked passed raised the possibility that prince charming was here.

"Well...you look really nice for your date," I said. I didn't really know what else to say and the silence was making me tense. She smiled.

"Thanks...I never know how to dress for dates. I feel like I look, I don't know, trashy," She laughed, "but I guess I am a little trashy. You look pretty too, you're going to wow him." I knew that she was just talking for the sake of noise, like me, but it was nice to get a compliment.

"I felt too business-like," I said.

"Well it suits you," she replied and I didn't know if that was a good thing.

"Well you don't look trashy, you look...at ease. And it suits you," I said returning the compliment. We smiled at one another and then lapsed again into silence, but we felt a little less strange now. At least we weren't complete strangers anymore. But soon, that silence stretched out too. Where was that waitress? Finally, the woman sighed.

"Even the men who aren't in my life yet aren't reliable," she joked and I smiled back in response.

"Well look at it this way," I said, "Everything that could go wrong at this point has. At least we are due for some good luck."

"Ugh," she said, "I had a concert tonight and I cancelled for this date! Things had better go really damn right after this."

"I was supposed to be working," I commiserated. She shook her hair, letting her wild hair wave, and then picked her cell phone off the table.

"The guy who set me up said my date was like...anally retentively prompt. This is pissing me off," and then she lifted up her phone toward her face and started to flip through it. "Maybe I will text him, Eric is a bit absent-minded, he may have given me the wrong place." I felt a sudden stab and looked more closely at the girl. Had she said...Eric? Did she look like the kind of person who would work at...a record label? That couldn't be right. What a weird coincidence. I realized that I was lacking some very important information about this woman.

"What's the name of your date?"

"Oh the hostess just said, I'm looking for some guy named Ash. Like the Evil Dead, I guess. Weird name," she said, flipping through her contacts. I felt the world spin a bit.

"Riley?" I asked and she looked up from her phone. One of her eyebrows was raised.

"Yes?" she asked and that confirmed it. I felt like I couldn't breathe. What the hell was going on here?

"Hi, I am Ash. Short for Ashley, but please call me Ash" I said, extending my hand. I sounded wooden and choked, but I didn't know what else to do. Riley's mouth dropped open; she smiled nervously, and shook her head. We both realized what this meant. Our "boys" weren't late. Both our dates had been on time.

"Uh...No, I...I am looking for a man," she explained. I blushed. I felt so stupid.