Chapter IV

"Eric Carter and Hot Kim?" she asked, shaking me out of my thoughts.

"Yeah Eric and Kim Carter," I said, but her phrasing seemed strange, "Hot Kim?" I asked. Riley's face was extremely red and she was looking down at her phone, avoiding my eyes.

"Oh uh, yeah. There are two guys in department with wives named 'Kim' so we call one 'tall Kim' because she is taller than her husband, Hank, and the other one 'Hot Kim' because she is so...hot and Eric is such a dork. Some of the other guys made it up," she said absentmindedly.

Well we were definitely set up together. Eric and Kim had set me up with a woman named Riley from Eric's office. They knew I was a straight woman. They apparently knew Riley was a straight woman. And they did this to us. Why?

"This is so embarrassing, I am so sorry" I mumbled but Riley didn't say anything. I don't know why I apologized; it felt like something to do. Something real to do. For a minute we sat in complete silence, too uncomfortable to speak. What the hell was all this supposed to mean? I tried to focus on one idea, to try to place this situation in frame where it would make sense. All I could tell was that I was absolutely mortified. And I could only come to one conclusion.

"This is not a funny joke, I didn't think Eric was such a dick," Riley said, apparently reaching the same conclusion I had. This was some sort of elaborate practical joke. Maybe Riley had been single for a while too, so they set us up to make us feel...I don't know. Stupid? It didn't make any sense. But none of this made any sense. I wasn't a lesbian. Why would Eric and Kim think this was funny? God, this was just the most humiliating thing ever.

"It isn't like them..." I said finally, but without conviction. What else could this mean? Maybe they had sat us next to the window so they could look in at us and laugh. I looked out the window but didn't see anyone I recognized in the street.

"Well here we fucking are!" Riley snapped. I felt the heat of her anger and quailed. I must've made a face, "Sorry. Not your fault. Just feel really conspicuous. Everyone thinks we are on a date or something. The whole wait staff is probably in on this joke. And honestly I am uncomfortable with you seeing me this...uncomfortable."

"I am in the same boat, you don't need to be embarrassed with me," I said. I was still just trying to get a handle on my ideas. Beyond the same embarrassment I was trying to talk Riley out of, I couldn't begin to register my own emotions.

"Hi, I am Heather, I am going to be your waitress tonight," a voice finally said. Riley and I turned and looked at a cute young girl in a black shirt and tie smiling brightly, "Would you like a bottle of wine or something else to drink to get started." I felt flustered. The last thing that I wanted was to leave.

"No...uh, thank you but no," I said, stumbling out the words. But I suddenly knew what I wanted to do, "We changed our minds. We are going to go." I explained. Riley nodded without looking at the waitress and grabbed her purse, ready to go. She apparently agreed. The joke was over. The waitress put her hands on her hips, tilted her head to the side, and bit her lip.

"Oh, I am sorry to hear that," the waitress said, "What should I tell Kim about the bill?" I felt so strange, hearing her reference Kim.

"Kim? What does it matter to her?" Riley spat.

"There is no bill, we haven't ordered anything, we are just going to go," I said, starting to stand up.

"Oh I know, I mean the agreement," she said.

"What agreement," I asked, stopping. What other joke was there. Some sort of wedding cake or something? 'Look at those two women who can't get men. Might as well just buy them a dozen cats and put them together.' Funny stuff.

"Kim and her husband, they agreed to pay your dinner tonight. Should I let her know that you don't want it? Or what?" The waitress asked. I didn't care if Kim and Eric agreed to pay the mortgage on my condo, I was done.

"I don't care, I just want to go."

"How much did they agree to pay," Riley said, sitting back down in her chair. The waitress shrugged. I was reaching back into the seat to grab my purse. I stopped moving as there was something different now in Riley's voice.

"Oh they didn't say, they just said they'd get the bill. They left their credit card on file," the waitress explained. Riley looked over at me. A broad smile spreading out across her face, making her look devious (and pretty). She leaned forward on the table, placing her elbows on the surface and rubbing her hands together.

"Is that a fact?" she asked. The waitress nodded, looking a bit confused. Riley turned back towards me, "You thinking what I am thinking?" she said, her voice sounding low and malicious. I instantly surmised what she was hinting at. A little bit of revenge. My humiliation in exchange for a very, very expensive meal. For a second I thought about it, but I started to shake my head.

"No, I can't, they..." I started.

"Want us to have a good meal," Riley said, smiling sweetly at the waitress, then she turned towards me, raising bother her eyebrows and speaking slowly, "I am in payroll, trust me Eric can handle it. And they DESERVE to hear about US being happy," she said, each word dripping with meaning. I knew she was right, but I was about to demur again.

I was angry at Eric and Kim, and confused, but I couldn't do that. It was wrong to take someone's money. Especially a friend. Even if that friend was being...weirdly cruel without provocation.