All Chapters of A Blind Date: Chapter 1 - Chapter 10

The door to the restaurant had a vague mirror-like quality and I stopped to look at my reflection before walking in.My stomach was flipping over itself and I was nervous to even attempt to gauge how I looked. It had been a very long time since I had been on a first date (or any date, really) and I had never been on a blind date before. I was so nervous that I leaned one hand on the side of the wall to keep myself steady as I inspected myself.Unfortunately, I saw exactly what I expected to see. A mess!I'd walked twenty blocks from my apartment ("it's a nice night!" I said to myself, "and I am early, might as well walk." Moron) and my hair hadn't stood up well. I kept my black hair long and had straightened it before I left, but it was a getting frizzy from the humid air. My eye shadow, which had looked smoky when I put it on at the apartment, looked a little raccoonish now around my large, green eyes. I have exceptionally pale ski

Now, sitting in the booth in "Apples," nervously playing with my bread knife, I found that my prediction was, unfortunately, extremely accurate. If things kept up this way, I would not be thanking anyone for any of this. At least my obligation would be discharged. I'd never have to go through this nonsense again. I looked at my watch again. Another ten minutes had passed. I resolved that Riley didn't arrive in three minutes I was going to leave. I kept my eyes down on the clock, willing it forward until I reached my excused time. With just thirty seconds left, I heard hostesses voice."Right here," she said and I felt my heart jump into my throat. So close to getting out of this, but now my date was here. I looked up as a person flopped into the seat across me."I am so sorry," she said, "I could get a c...oh...I am sorry... must be the wrong table." It was, I was shocked to find, a woman sitting across from me. Clearly, more than one date was going

But thinking about that strange spite from my friends, and hearing about what I deserved and about being happy, I thought about my conversation with Kim. The one where she'd cried and told me about me about my future and my needs. I thought about the emotional ups and downs of that conversation, the way that Kim seemed to really hurt for me. The fact that I sacrificed what I wanted just to make her happy.It was all for this...joke or prank. And I got what, a free meal out of it? Hardly even. Each memory, the feelings and guilt she'd stirred in me, heightened the rage. I had never felt so angry in my entire life."Actually, I am feeling pretty hungry," I said, sitting back down in the seat. Eric and Kim were going to pay until we were equal and then pay some more. Then I might not ever speak to them again. This was unforgiveable. A joke in bad taste was one thing, but this went beyond it. (I mean not really, I was never going to cut them

The whole while we were talking and eating we were also drinking. About an hour into our "date" we had ordered a third bottle of wine. This was a cheaper bottle (we decided to take it easy on Kim and Eric because we were having fun) but it was arguably stronger than the first two. By the time we both abandoned attempts to finish eating, we were both pretty well drunk. Riley suggested that, instead of buying a dessert, which we couldn't eat, that we head to the bar and "drink" our dessert. Normally, I would decline such an offer. I never much liked liquor. But I was already drunk and eager to extend my positive mood and Riley's attitude was absolutely contagious. So I agreed and we moved back. I can't remember if I had two or three shots of tequila before, I came to my fateful realization for the night, but I remember how it happened. Riley and I were sitting on the far left side of the bar, we both had a shot of tequila in our hands, as I remember it, and I was lau

The effect on me was even greater. Ever since I'd had my sort of dawning of knowledge in the bar, I had avoided actually, explicitly thinking about what it was that I was thinking. I had sort of walled it up, one last ditch defense by my denial. But saying the words out loud made it undeniable. I desired my best friend, I wanted to love her and make love to her. Thinking that caused a dozen scattered images to flitter through my brain, things that Kim had clearly noticed even when I did not. I remembered watching a movie with Kim in college and cuddling up extremely close to her, actually putting my head on her shoulder. I remembered going to the beach with her one year and conspicuously wiping sand off of her ass. I remembered driving to a concert with her once when Eric was sick and couldn't make it and actually saying that I wished it was always just the two of us. Perhaps most damning, I remembered her picking me up at the airport once after a long business tri