CHAPTER EIGHT

JANICE'S POV

Everything and everyone in the room faded away until it was just the two of us standing there.

My eyes fed hungrily on the sight of him.

He looked way better than I've ever seen him before.

His hair was longer now and a bit curled.

And hiss smile was gorgeous.

Three damned years since I'd seen that beautiful soul piercing smile.

I told myself that I wasn't going to act like it mattered that he finally decided to come home and I was going to stick to that but it was like my body had a mind of its own.

Before my brain could register what I was doing, I'd run to him, into his open arms and thrown my hands around his very solid and muscular body.

I was hugging him like it was the last time I'd ever get the opportunity to ever do that.

He smelt so good and I couldn't get enough of him.

I wanted to be closer but that was impossible because I was already being crushed to him.

You won't ever know how much I missed you, I thought.

"I do and it was same here, if not worse."

My cheeks burned red as I realized I'd said that thought out loud.

He laughed at my feeble attempt to hide my face and held me closer, if that was even possible.

"Don't the rest of us deserve a hug too, hmmm." Kayla joked coming towards us. I loosened my hands reluctantly and he let me go and our moment was lost.

Others were coming down now and he was caught up with greeting everyone and catching up so I left and went back to what I was doing before he waltzed in.

As expected, the food was very delicious and mum took all the credit.

No one thought to mention that I was the one who'd slaved away all evening making this food with her.

Everyone dug into whichever one was their favorite and were doing it good justice.

While I had the steaks grilling for dad and I.

Normally we don't ever talk at the dinner table but since it's very hard to get all Kent's in one place at one time, the rules were relaxed tonight.

Everyone was taking the opportunity to get into each others business.

Mum and dad included.

"How's Ena, Jace?" Mum asked.

She turned to Jason who in turn groaned.

"Mum are you trying to give me indigestion." He was serious with that one.

"She's fine, quit asking."

"She's a nice girl you know, I like her."

"And you've only met her twice."

"Doesn't matter." Mum smiled,

"And she's pretty too." She finished wiggling her brows suggestively at him.

"She's just my fucking tutor!"

Mum gave him 'the eye' and we all smiled discreetly at that.

"Language young man. " Dad cautioned from the head of the table.

Every other chattering that had stopped at that continued after.

Drake was caught up hanging unto whatever Damien was spewing to him and May who sat on his right continued her relentless drill on Kayla about college.

What's her deal with that anyways.

"Kayla how's it going with your business management class, still got issues?"

From the day she got her new teachers assistant, Kayla had made it a duty to complain to everyone willing to listen about how unfairly he was treating her.

I noticed she hesitated, kinda stalled before she answered,

"No dad, everything's great."

She didn't look like it was half okay at all.

"Why aren't any of you dating by the way?" Mum asked out of the blues.

"It gets boring staring at your old faces every time. Someone should at least drag a boyfriend or a girlfriend home sometimes." She sighed dramatically and we were all looking at her quizzically.

Dad too.

"What?" She shrugged.

“I'm just saying that it'd be nice to see a new face around here sometimes."

"Mum we are twelve sitting around this table already, where do you intend to fit in about six more people?"

The way Damien asked that with his left brow raised comically made me laugh.

"Plus you haven't even seen this handsome face in three long years!" Kayla quipped, gesturing towards Damien who was sat across from her.

"Yes I have. We Skype all the time." Mum defended, looking smug.

"That doesn't count!" May returned, helping Kayla out.

I know that was to keep on Kayla's good side and keep getting juicy college gist.

My family, I love them like that.

"I want more spaghetti." Cade said, pushing his empty plate out.

"Me too." Kenzie seconded, pushing her plate out at the same time as Cade as they fought over who'd get served first.

They ended up spilling Cade's glass of water and I had to mop it up since I was the closest to him and Narla couldn't careless to help me out.

She was sitting next to Kenzie but too engrossed in whatever she was talking to Abby about.

I finished that and went ahead to dish the second serving that caused all this.

Damien and Kayla argued with mum all through dinner while Jason grumbled his way through his food and left after saying thanks.

I kinda shuffled between enjoying my meal, attending to our ever quarreling twins and somehow listening to everyone else's conversation.

Some times I wonder if I'm not the mule of this family.

Narla and Abby left together and as soon as Cade and Kenzie were done, I went up stairs with them to give them their night bath and change them into their pajamas.

When I came back down to the dinning room, Everybody was done and retired to their rooms and Kayla was cleaning up the lot.

"Go up already, I'll finish up here and do the dishes and then I'll meet you in the room." She shooed me away.

Did I mention that I love her?

I went back up the way I'd come and straight to our room for a well deserved rest.

I had my bath and put on my nightie before flopping my tired self on the bed.

I went through my phone as usual for any relevant message and as always the only one waiting for me was Tess'.

She wanted to know how tonight went and how much I embarrassed myself with Damien around.

Well she's out of luck on that one cause I didn't.

I smiled as I told her so on text and then she called almost immediately I hit send, to catch the full unadulterated details of everything that happened.

I spent hours on the phone with her.

Kayla came in sometime later and seeing as I was on the with Tess, she shook her head and mouthed to me that we'd catch up later.

She took a quick bath and fell into the bed beside me and covered her ears with muffs to block me out.

She slept off almost immediately while I talked and laughed with Tess till it was very late into the night.

I got thirsty from all that talking so I went to my bedside drawer on to find out that my jug that usually sat there was empty.

Just my luck!

I sighed and picked it up and went out of the room.

I went down stairs again and went to the kitchen.

Every where was very quiet almost like everyone was in bed and fast asleep. I had my doubt though.

I went straight to the fridge and opened it.

I took out my favourite brand of bottle water and started filling my jug up.

I took a few swigs from the bottle of water too when I was done before I shut the fridge and turned to leave.

I almost dropped my jug at the sight of a gorgeous Damien leaning against the kitchen island and looking at me, an opened can of beer held loosely in his left hand.

"Oh my God Damien, you scared me. How long have you been in here?"

He chuckled at that, the nerve!

"I was standing right here when you waltzed in with that jug of yours but you couldn't be bothered to check before you got down to filling it up so I thought I should wait back a bit and see if I could give you a good scare."

I was glaring at him.

"I just stood here looking at you and nursing my beer and you almost jumped out of your skin."

He grinned.

"You haven't changed. Still easily scared even after three years. Wow."

I was thinking about the easiest way to lay his head open at that moment.

I clutched my water filled jug to my body.

"Not everyone changes in a span of just three years." I retorted.

He took steps closer to where I stood and I noticed that my hands holding the jug were shaking a little from our proximity.

I took a step back.

Whatever this phase was, I wanted it to pass. I want to go back to the good times when I could look at him and think of him as my annoying big brother.

Because at the rate I'm going, I'm bound to do something out of line and widen the rift between us.

How did I ever get myself here in the first place?

When did our relationship change from the comfortable annoying elder brother and adorable sister relationship to this tension filled, emotional and sexually charged god knows what.

Though the emotional and sexual part are all on my side, making things worse.

He scowled at that step I took.

"I see. You know, when I walked through that door," he pointed in the general direction of the sitting room.

"And you came running to me, on your own and hugged me. I thought, maybe you missed me. I thought it mattered to you that I've been away for too long. It felt like we could get over whatever it was that went wrong with us in the first place and I wanted to tell you that I missed you too. I guess I was wrong and nothing has changed."

There were many emotions coursing through his voice.

He sounded hurt and his words were laced with pain, like my constant running from him hurt him a great deal.

I didn't mean to hurt him.

My eyes were stinging from the tears pooling in them.

I didn't know what to do, not when even loving him from afar hurts him like this.

I couldn't look him in the eye, I wouldn't be able to stand that expression in them.

"I'm sorry." My voice was clogged and very low as I kept repeating it over and over.

It's not his fault I like him this way when I shouldn't have.

I thought this choice I made was the best, but it obviously wasn't and I'm back to square one.

And when he put it like that I felt like the lowest idiot ever.

"I'm sorry." I kept repeated again, hoping beyond all hopes that he understood all I meant to say but couldn't get out in those two words.

He obviously didn't because his voice became lower and icier.

Typical angry Damien.

"Sorry for what? Avoiding me like I had something contagious until I had to leave? Ignoring all my calls and not replying any of my texts until I gave up trying. Did you even listen to any of the numerous voice mails I sent? I bet you didn't. "

Of course I did, I just didn't know how to reply them. I didn't know what to say to explain this.

"All for what Jay Jay? Where did I get it wrong? What was it you couldn't talk to me about?"

What's with everyone and that name today.

There was no way around this one. I glued my eyes to my hands still clutching my little fancy jug of water, tears falling from them.

"Do you know that for months on end I kept wondering if something was wrong with me. Maybe the whole issue was me but in the end I came up with nothing."

I broke out in an uncontrollable sob.

And just like always he closed the gap between us in a few strides, his beer long forgotten.

He took the jug from me and placed it on the counter top, next to his half empty can of beer and then took my sobbing figure in his arms.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I hurt you."

My voice was broken and my words were muffled against his chest.

"Shhh, it's okay now. I'm sorry I made you cry."

He led me to the sitting room and made me lie with him on the three seater couch.

His big body didn't leave much space for me but there was no where else I'd rather be.

I was lying half on top of him, with my head pillowed on his chest.

My sobs were almost gone now.

His face was buried in my hair as he told me that it was okay now and if that was the way I wanted it then he'd learn to live with that.

I just snuggled in closer tho his warm body and let his scent wrap around me as I drifted in and out of sleep.

I don't know why it had to be you but I can't help that I love you so much and I don't know how to stop.

Those were my last thoughts as I drifted off finally into a steamy dream filled sleep.