Chapter 17

After lunch, sweaty and weary, I make my way to the library where Benjamin said he’d be waiting. Benjamin looks similar to Erik except for the eyes, hair, and body structure.

Where Erik is bulky, Benjamin is leaner and less sturdy looking. Benjamin also has blood red eyes and blond hair that reaches his shoulders. Still, the relation between them is evident, and it’s the first time I’ve seen twin talnarins. Ironically, their scents are nearly identical as well. Benjamin just smells woodsier.

In no time, I’m standing behind a large wooden desk in the center of the room. I gaze around in amazement; I’ve found my happy place at last. Well, relatively happy, that is.

There has to be hundreds of books in this library, and the walls are lined with row after row of tomes. My gaze follows the border of the room, a second floor of books lines the upper parts of the walls. The only access to those books are the sliding ladders located along the room.

All the wood here is beautifully carved into flowing curves and gentle flowers. It’s bright with the sunlight coming through the giant windows, making it look like a dream, a happy and magical one. Who knew it would be the sight of all these books that brings a faint smile to my lips?

To think, that if this journey hadn’t happened, I would have never seen this beautiful place.

That thought stops me cold and wipes all traces of happiness from my face. How dare I? What a disgusting thing to say. I’m a monster for even letting that thought cross my mind. This journey would have never happened had I not been so ignorant and stupid. My mistakes led me here. My mistakes broke me, and my mistakes killed them.

My thoughts turn sour and my mood darkens.  I make my way towards Benjamin and pull up a chair without looking at him. I roughly drop into the seat. That’s when I notice a stack of thick books lying on the table along with a map.

Before I get a chance to decipher it, he begins. “To help your training with Erik, I’ll start the lesson off with information on talnarin energy manipulation.” He stares directly at me, and I shift uncomfortably in my chair. “Our primary power is energy manipulation, but we do also have a special affinity with land creatures as well. All talnarins are able to access these abilities. We reside in the forest region because the energy we manipulate and utilize is generated from the natural world, meaning the plants and animals.”

He pauses for a moment and pulls a book from the stack. After a few seconds of flipping, he settles on an illustrated page. In the center, there’s a diagram of a talnarin with white eyes and pointed ears. The abdomen is hollowed out to show that the cloud of particles exists inside the person, not outside. A five-cornered shape surrounds the talnarin, and each corner holds a foreign symbol.

“The energy we can manipulate is stored and built up inside here.” He points to the cloud in the abdomen. “With this energy, we are able to manipulate or utilize one of the five different wieldable affinities.

“Those with purple eyes, like Elaine, have the ability to harness the energy and manipulate the mind.” Benjamin shifts his weight before continuing. “We call this the Mindula Affinity. Some are able to influence the actions of individuals, wipe memories, create illusions, sense emotions, and the list goes on. The symbol for this type is here.” He points this time to the illustration of an open eye with a hollow iris in the center, to the left of the page.

“Those with orange or red eyes, like my brother and I,” He gestures to his own eyes. “Are able to harness the energy and manipulate flames.” Benjamin calls a small blood red flame to his palm before snuffing it out. “This affinity is called Firvo. These flames are much stronger and hotter than an ordinary fire due to it being pure concentrated energy. There are far more possibilities that can be achieved with energy fames, than regular ones. The sky is the limit with the fire, but it’s important to remember it can still go out of control. This is the case for any of the other energy manipulation affinities as well. This is the Firvo symbol here.” He points to the book. This illustration is to the left as well, just below the Mindula affinity. It looks like a simple illustration of hollow flames.

“Those with yellow eyes are able to harness the energy and manipulate electricity. This affinity is known as Elestal. Again, unlike its more natural counterpart, this electricity is much stronger and packs a bigger punch.” Benjamin pauses to run his hand through his hair, much like his brother did. “With this ability, those who wield it are able to draw energy from a storm if it’s in the vicinity. In rare cases, those with this affinity are able to call forth a storm as well.” This time, he points to the Elestal symbol is on the right side that is represented by a single hollow bolt of lightning.

“Lastly, those with green eyes are able to harness the energy within plants and manipulate them. The name of this affinity is Flokil. Those able to manipulate the flora are able to manipulate nature however they wish.” A small smile graces his lips. “They can accelerate plant growth, decelerate it, weaponize it, and so on. Though most people with this affinity are gentle souls who choose the nurturing path.” The second to last symbol sits to the right beneath the Elestal illustration. It looks like vines twisted together in a ring with small blossoms growing out from the sides.

The last symbol, a combination of them all, sits at the very top and I wait for his explanation. When one doesn’t come, I glance up. I find him simply staring at the symbol with an unreadable expression of his face before moving to close the book.

I place my hand on top of the page before it closes and ask, “What does this one mean, and what is it called?” When he simply continues to stare at it, I become frustrated. “And why do you look at it like that? Is the color for that one silver?”

What I don’t say is, “silver like my eyes.” I also don’t mention my blood red hair. Both changed after the… incident at that place. From what he said, these talnarins only have unusual eye colors, not hair colors too. So, why do I? I’m dying to know, but I don’t trust them enough to ask. I’ll keep my mouth shut and do some digging around for the answers myself when I have time alone.

I look back up at Benjamin. He gives me a long look, and a loud sigh escapes him. Suddenly, Benjamin looks so sad and in pain, it’s startling.

With my distraction, he manages to wrestle the book from my hands. He sets it to the side before pulling another from the pile. He opens his mouth to speak, and just as I think he’s going to explain his weird behavior, he says, “Do you need to take a break, or are you good to go on? Next I’ll cover the foundations necessary for energy manipulation, and the basic principles of the practice.”

I simply nod and lean back. Might as well learn all I can as soon as I can. I’m in the dark about everything here and I hate it. It makes me feel weak and vulnerable. I only wish I had the freedom to ask about my situation. It would be so much easier to come out with it and tell them I’m a freak hybrid. Then, maybe I’d actually learn how to control my fire.

There’s no way to ask my questions without drawing attention to myself. More attention than I already have, I mean. Digging for information is bound to draw the wrong attention from the wrong talnarins. I need to avoid that at all costs. And to do that, I need to keep my head down and appear as ‘normal’ as can be, as ‘normal’ as a talnarin.

I ease out of my thoughts and tune back in to library. This book doesn’t have any diagrams to look at, so I focus all of my attention of Benjamin. “All of the talnarins are born with a certain level of energy inside them. This level is the total amount of energy you are able to store inside your core at one time. Regardless of your training, the level is unable to expand and grow.” Benjamin gives a quick shrug. “That’s not to say the level remains the same from birth to death. As you age, your capacity for energy storage expands as well. This expansion comes from a variety of factors, but the primary one is that as you grow, the core grows with you.”

His face cracks into a childish smile. “This is why it’s easier to train when you are younger. That’s not to say, however, that training for adults is impossible or that training as a child is easy. The training is challenging for anyone at any age. To aid the talnarin in reading their core levels and gaining control of their affinities, training begins at a very young age.” Benjamin looks thoughtful for a moment. “Usually around the age of seven, children are able to draw forth their energy from their cores. Though those with stronger manipulation abilities have been known to sense the energy from an even younger age, it depends on the child. At this age, their energy levels are relatively low, except with those who are stronger manipulators. This level helps prevent a mass explosion of energy from being released. It limits the probability of harm a child could do to themselves or to those around them. What age where you when you were first able to release your energy?”

I pause briefly to give myself time to generate a response. A part of me hates lying, but I don’t know what else to do. I settle for a simple, “I don’t remember.” I shift uncomfortably in my chair.

“Can you give me a time frame at least?”

I press my lips together tightly. “No. I think I’m done for the day. I’m tired.”

Benjamin gives me an unreadable look before simply saying, “Okay.”

I stand up and make my way from the room. The day has been both mentally and physically draining, but it means I’m one step closer to my goal. I just need to deflect all unwanted questions. My answers need to be as vague as possible without seeming suspicious. Unfortunately, I hadn’t properly prepared myself for likely questions. It was an oversight that won’t happen again.

At least I learned something useful today.

On the other hand, training isn’t going as quickly as I had imagined, though it’s only been a day. I can’t be discouraged with the lack of control, I just need to keep at it. I can’t fail, I have to do it. I will do it. I need to get over the fear of harnessing the fire somehow. Erik and Abel are there to help me if I need it. I need to just let it go. I’ll try again tomorrow, and the next day, and the day after that, until I get it.

As I enter my room, I take a cursory glance around to ensure nothing’s out of place. Nothing seemingly amiss, I turn to lock the door. I stink, badly. There’s a bath waiting for me, I just need to figure out how it works. The biggest question, though, is am I willing to let down my guard for a few minutes to take one? I grimace as the smell hits my nose.

They haven’t done anything yet. It’s been three days. They would have made their move by now if they were going to strike. It won’t be a long bath. I can even set my bow by the tub. In and out. It’ll be quick.

I would put my old clothes on again after the bath, but that would defeat the purpose of taking one in the first place. When Elaine first showed me to the room, there was a change of clothes on the bed all folded and clean. I had avoided touching them for fear they were laced with poison or needles. But if they were going to hurt me in the first place, it wouldn’t be through clothes. I shake off the stupid thoughts as I grab them and head to the bathroom. 

Before attempting to figure out how the tub works, I survey the clothes I brought into the bathroom with me. The set consists of a simple, brown, fitted shirt and brown pants with various pockets. It must be a uniform of some sort that they wear. The others here wear variations of these clothes, but theirs are more personalized.

Regardless, after briefly checking the clothes, I assure myself they were safe to wear. I set them on the counter top and start maneuvering the levers on the tub.