Chapter 16

It’s been three days since I arrived. Thankfully, I only dreamt that one time and haven’t had any more mishaps with my memories since. I’ve mostly sat around, staying out of sight, and constantly keeping an eye out for any issues–or any talnarins. I’m more at ease in Craforian than I was before, but not enough that I want to remain vulnerable and weak.

I’ve wasted enough time. It’s time to talk to Abel about starting my training. I need to learn control sooner rather than later, because who knows when something might happen. I need to be prepared.

I make my way to Abel’s office in the main building. When I raise my hand to knock, the door is thrown open. I take a few startled steps back and crouch into a defensive stance. Standing in the doorway is a talnarin in black clothes. His shirt is tight fitted, but his pants are baggy with various pockets. It’s very similar to the Others I saw in the forest all those months ago. Perhaps he patrols the area or is some sort of guard?

He glances impassively at me before disappearing out of sight. That’s when I catch sight of his eyes. They’re vibrant yellow, nearly the color of the sun.

Once I’m certain he’s gone, I straighten and move back to the door. From inside, Abel commands me to enter. My anxiety surfaces, but I move into the office. 

Abel looks up from his desk and smiles. “Hello, Alanna. What can I do for you?” Are you finding yourself settled in well?”

“I’m settled enough. I want to begin training.” My sentences are short and clipped. I cringe at my attitude—it’s ruder than I intend—but I refuse to be meek like the last time I was in Abel’s office.

I watch him closely for any sign I’ve overstepped a boundary. He appears completely unfazed. If anything, I’d say he looks slightly amused.

“Wonderful. As for your training, we can begin now, if you would like.” He looks at me expectantly. With my nod as confirmation, he stands. Once he’s around the desk, I follow him out the door, keeping myself at a safe distance.

We come to a stop in front of the training arena where three people are currently practicing. At our arrival—whether it’s due to Abel’s presence or mine, I can’t tell—they all stop to stare at our entrance.

Utter silence. It’s unnerving and intimidating, and the attention is making me slightly nauseous. Abel gestures to a male in the far corner of the arena. He jogs over and politely addresses the leader.

“Greetings Abel, what can I do for you?” His voice is deep, almost monotone, and his expression is devoid of any emotion. It’s strangely compelling, along with the odd smell of burning wood I assume comes from him. The tight shirt he wears accents his muscles and abs. He’s at least a foot taller than me, which seems to be a trend with these Others. His hair is dirty blond and cut close to his head. This male has burnt orange eyes and a sharp chin. The same feeling I get looking at other talnarins emerges the longer I stare at him. That feeling that there’s another presence within the talnarins and it makes them all seem much older than they appear.

He catches me staring and my face heats. I strive for nonchalance, but I’m pretty sure I fall short. Luckily, Abel greets back in the ever-present polite tone, drawing the male’s attention. “Hello, Erik, this is Alanna. She is the new fire user we spoke of a few days ago. She has expressed her desire to begin her training today.”

“Very well.” Erik’s eyes shift my way. “It’s nice to meet you. Before we start, I need to know what you know. I need to know what you don’t know, too.”

Should I tell him I know nothing, or should I try to lie my way through it? The problem is I don’t know enough to lie myself through anything at this point. I shift uncomfortably. What will happen if I tell them the truth?

I decide to go out on a limb. “Well, I know I can set things on fire. Sometimes. And all of you have colored eyes. Not to mention the ears. There’s…” I trail off as I catch the strange look that Abel and Erik exchange. I clamp my mouth shut and internally berate myself. How could I have been so stupid? Think before you speak, Alanna. Shit. I might as well have just claimed I was human once. To refer to Them as Them and not us was stupid. A dumb mistake. Shit what now? How do I fix this?

Before I have a chance to blubber out an explanation and save myself, Abel says, “We will start from the beginning then. You will split your time between training and lessons. Erik’s brother, Benjamin, will aid you with your studies. I’ll send someone for him while you two get started.” Abel walks off to the side where the two other talnarins stand, and quietly converses with them. In a matter of seconds, the two talnarins walk out of the arena.

Erik draws my attention and directs me to stand opposite him. The floor is covered in sand, and I can only assume it’s because it absorbs blood better. That thought isn’t very comforting.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Abel take up a position against the wall near the large open doorway. I shift my eyes back to Erik as he begins speaking. “Have you ever called your power to you intentionally before?”

I shake my head in response.

“Summoning the energy can be taxing in the beginning. It will leave you exhausted and weak. It will take an impressive amount of control to call it forth and wield it without wringing you dry.” He rubs his hand down his head. “Aside from the energy manipulation, we will also train your physical body. I’ll run through a series of exercises I want you to do each day. This is going to help with your endurance and control. It also won’t hurt to start running in the mornings, but you can work up to that if it’s too much.” 

“To start, we are simply going to practice drawing the energy forth to see where you stand with control. However, until you gain better control, I ask that you don’t practice alone. For your safety, and the safety of those around you, only draw it forth when Abel, Benjamin, or I are with you, alright?”

I nod my consent. It’s not like I planned to call it up on my own anyway. It terrifies me. These powers are a curse.

“Good. Once you gain enough control, we will move onto actually harnessing the flames. Once that’s successful, we’ll go a step further. The idea is to steadily increase the pace of the training until you can wield your powers as you wish. There is no rush. We go at your pace. Just remember, it’s about control and patience. Let’s start.” He holds his hand out, palm up.

I startle as burnt orange flames suddenly materialize in his palm. It’s a small flame, barely covering the width of his hand. All remaining doubts I have that this was all a dream, that these powers don’t actually exist, vanish. Seeing it in person is too much to ignore. It still seems surreal, flame sprouting from someone’s hands.  And yet here I am, learning to control a power I don’t want. A power I despise because of what it reminds me of, because of what it means.

Yet, as much as I hate it, this isn’t the time to dwell on it. I’m here to learn control. I need control if I ever plan to destroy Him for good. And I won’t be able to control the flames with these thoughts overtaking my mind. I take a deep breath and will myself to calm down.

As I continue to stare at the flames, a new presence nearby draws my attention. Another person enters the arena and he moves towards Abel the instant he arrives.

Just as I’m about to turn and look, Erik calls me to attention. “Alanna, you need to focus. Imitate what I did, try to draw the flame onto your palm like this. Pull from your core and will the heat through your body. Think small and controlled. Visualize what you want to see in your hand and will it to existence. Feel the slow buildup in your core but don’t pull all at once. Allow it access to your palm, but show it the way in your mind.”

I close my eyes, considering what he said. He wants me to call on the heat inside. He wants to me to access the raging flames inside me? Why? Those can’t be controlled. It’s too angry, it’s too violent. I can’t draw from there, it would spiral out of control in no time. Maybe I don’t have to draw from this so-called core. Perhaps I can draw from somewhere else, a place not as powerful or dangerous.

I think of simple heat and flames and I will it to form in my palm. I repeat this process twice more before I open my eyes and look at my empty hand. I glare at the offending limb and scream inside my head for the fire to form.

Clamping my mouth closed, I squeeze my hand into a fist. There’s no way I can give up now, I just started. I can do this. I won’t let myself fail. I tentatively stretch my will inside me, searching for the heat in my center.

Like an old friend, it slowly uncurls in my stomach to say hello. As it stretches, a moment of panic hits and in seconds, the feeling fades. It’s almost as if it was never there in the first place, as if I imagined it all. I tentatively look at Erik, uncertain of what his reaction will be.

His eyes are zeroed in on my now open palm. Did he notice something different about me? Does he know that I’m not really a talnarin? Why is he staring? I did something wrong, didn’t I? I messed up somehow, I just know it. This is it, they’ll kill me now.

I’m shaken from my internal panic at his approach. I watch cautiously as places his palm above mine. He leaves just enough room so his hand doesn’t make contact with my skin. He looks down at me and commands, “Try again. This time focus on the energy and just familiarize yourself with it. It’s alive inside you, it has a will of its own. You need to understand your energy like you understand yourself. The two of you need to be in tune with each other. Your wills need to be one. Don’t focus on drawing from it yet. You need to communicate with it first. It won’t respond the way you want until you attempt to understand it.”

I nearly scoff out loud. How ridiculous this all sounds, getting to know “it.” I’ve always sort of referred to the fire as its own entity for the sake of my sanity. I just never knew that “it” was a living thing taking refuge inside me. I don’t want to get to know it. This power is dangerous and out of control. I don’t want to know it. But unfortunately, I might have to.