Chapter 23

Before I head to lunch, I stop in to talk to Abel about the training. I don’t know the protocol for reporting damages—if there even is one—but he should know. The crater I left in the arena was deep and wide, and it looks like it needs to be filled in. I’m assuming Abel oversees repairs. That’s how it would be in my village. We always brought the problems to those in charge.

I make my way to Abel’s office, and warning bells go off inside my head as I pass empty corridor after empty corridor. Where is everyone?

I slow my pace, senses peeled for anything suspicious. At this time of day, early afternoon, the whole compound is out in the sun and yet not a soul is hanging around Abel’s place.

Soon, I’m creeping up the stairs and down the hall to his office. Did something happen? I pause outside his closed door and listen for any signs of life inside. Just as I reach my hand out for the door handle, I hear a noise down the hall where I came from. There’s another door to my left, and I open it and quietly slip into the dark, empty room.

I wait for what feels like a lifetime, holding my breath. There’s an echo of footsteps coming from down the hall—more than one set of footsteps. They’re arguing in hushed tones. Something keeps me from rushing out the door and out the building. Something tells me I need to hear this. I wait.

The voices are growing louder. The loudest and angriest voice of the two is new. It’s husky and deep, almost hypnotizing in its intensity. I image the owner to be big and bulky talnarin, with a balding head.

The quieter and calmer voice clearly belongs to Abel, the smooth tone giving him away. The door muffles the faint words too much and I can’t make out what their saying.

My patience is running out and the longer I stay in here, the more difficult it will be to leave. The longer I hide, the guiltier I look. Right before I talk myself into leaving, their sentences start to make sense. It’s the voice of the bald man that’s talking now.

“…you don’t know anything. Not where she came from, who she is, or why she’s here. She’s a threat and needs to be dealt with. You know this as well as I do.” I slap my hands over my mouth to silence my gasp. My gut screams at me to flee, but I hold myself still, needing to hear the rest.

This time its Abel’s soft voice that says, “Give it more time before you act. She isn’t all she appears to be. I do not think she means us harm, brother.” Brother? The one Elaine was taking about the other day? I really hope they’re not actually referring to me. It would make my time here so much more unpleasant and deadly.

“Then tell me, Abel, why does this girl not exist anywhere? You sent Erik to investigate where she could have come from and he came back with nothing. Even my Elite’s came back empty handed and you know as well as I, that never happens. None of this makes sense. She is a threat until we know the truth. And from what you told me, she isn’t very forthcoming with it. No, she needs to be dealt with now. The longer we wait to act, the bigger the threat. I won’t let any harm come to my people, Abel.”

Please don’t be talking about me. I’m not a threat, not to the people here. I need to make them see that, but how? I can’t tell them the truth, I’ll just end up on the other side of the chopping block. This is a mess, one I don’t know how to get out of. They must be talking about me.

“Brother, all I ask for is a little more time. Let Erik and Benjamin continue to work with her. They both have a better chance of gaining her trust. They will gain a better understanding of her intentions the more time they spend with her. She’s already starting to lower her guard. And from what Elaine told me, the girl is softening towards the idea of befriending her as well. Their conservation last time went fairly well. Meet her yourself before you make a hasty decision to kill her. She is hiding things yes, but I believe it is for a very good reason. Something frightens the child, something haunts her.”

The husky voice finally breaks the silence. “Her eyes. The fire. They’re silver, Abel, or did you forget? It’s unusual. Abnormal. She isn’t right. Who knows what else she can do? She needs to be eliminated.”

My eyes sting, tears welling up. There’s no question now that I’m the subject of their conversation. How do I fix this? I strain to hear Abel’s response.

“She is not all she seems, brother, she is hurting. Deeply. She reminds me of us when we lost—”

“DON’T.”

I manage to hold in the surprised squeak.

“Enough. I’ll meet with her out of respect for you, but I’m not making any promises. If, at the end of my observation, I still perceive her as a problem, she dies, Abel. Understand?”

I flinch back at the pure rage in his voice. It seems to shake the door in its frame. I listen for anything else, but I can only hear the sound of retreating footsteps.

I take a moment to compose myself before quietly sliding down the length of the door. I plop down and grip my hair tightly in my hands. I’m tempted to pound my head into the thick wood, but I know it would only draw attention to my location.

Now what? Apparently I’m a threat and this could end badly for me. One wrong move and my head gets detached from my neck. Maybe not, but I’ll die just the same, however they plan to carry out my unjust execution. How do I convince them I’m not a threat? If I tell them about my past, it could end in my death as well. I need to tread very carefully.

Besides, I don’t know what his brother looks like. I only know his voice and I haven’t talked to many here. He could already be at Craforian. He did elude that I’m under surveillance, but it doesn’t necessarily mean it’s him doing it.

Elaine. She’s befriending me on Abel’s orders. That hurts more than I care to admit. While I don’t necessarily like her, I don’t hate her anymore, either. She is always kind and understanding, or that’s how she appears. It’s a ruse, all of it, and it makes me furious. I had enjoyed our talk a few days ago, it was nice talking to a girl again. Now I can’t trust anything she says. She’s been reporting everything to Abel. I push the hurt aside and focus at the task at hand.

And Erik investigated me. Or tried to anyway. That’s why he was gone that morning. He was out looking for leads on my past. Clearly, he didn’t look in the right places. I’ll bet my life that, although they clearly know I’m different, they haven’t connected the dots about my humanity just yet. Otherwise, they would have found out where I came from. It’s a relief to know my secret hasn’t been discovered. Though the longer I stay here, the greater the chance they’ll figure it out.

I could always leave. If I leave now, I lose the chance of learning more about the talnarins and controlling my powers. But, is knowledge enough of a reason to stay and risk my death? If I die, my revenge dies with me. I can’t lose that. It’s the only thing I have left. My revenge and redemption are the only things I still carry inside me that are mine. Can I give that all up for a possible life of safety?

I already know the answer. I’ve known it from the start. I can’t give up the last piece of me. I’ll lose my old life for good if I do. I’ll lose who I am, or who I used to be before everything happened. I’ll lose my last connection to my family and home.

Still, if I leave without learning complete control over my powers, I risk blowing myself up before I can execute my revenge plan. What do I choose? What option gives me the best chance of survival? What path will have the higher odds of getting to Him? Do I bet on a risk I already know, or do I bet on a risk that’s foreign to me?

I choose the one I know. The lesser of the two evils. I’ll have my things packed and ready to go tonight. I’ll use the cover of darkness to leave. After hearing Abel and his brother talk, I realize I’m not free to leave after all, I never really was. If they see me as a threat there’s no way they would let me go. They wouldn’t risk me leaving with the information I now have of Craforian. I’ll leave tonight with only the faint moonlight to guide me.

Mind made up, I slowly stand once more. I place my ear against the door and listen for any noise.

Hearing nothing, I gingerly open the door a crack and peer one eye out. Coast clear, I open it wider and step out. The tricky part will be getting past the now open door to Abel’s office. I could try to sneak by, but my odds of getting seen are high. So instead, I hold my head high, push my emotions down, and will my facial expressions to clear.

I walk fast towards the door, tying to angle my body like I came from the hall. As I get near, I notice Abel facing away from me and decide to make my move. I knock on the door in three short raps. He startles slightly and turns his chair.

“Alanna, what can I do for you?” Abel asks sweetly, plastering a smile on his face.

Well to start, don’t kill me. “I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do but I blew up the arena a little.” He looks surprised and… amused, I think. “I mean, nothing was damaged really, just a hole in the sand, but I thought I should tell you. Do I need to clean it or anything?” It’s hard to keep the emotional turmoil from my face. At least he’s not a mental manipulator, right?

“It’s alright, no need to clean it. I am sure Erik already took care of it. Thank you for informing me. Was there anything else?” His eyes are almost pleading with me. For what, I can’t say. My gut warns me to tread carefully, but there’s no way he knows I was listening. Still a shiver works its way down my spine at the thought.

“No, that’s all.” Without another word, I turn and stride out the door. Once I’m free from his gaze, I nearly sprint back to my room. Inside, I pack up my meager belongings and set the pack by the door.

I need to make a plan. I don’t know how long it will be until my next meal, so I’ll grab some provisions from the kitchen. Once that’s done, I’ll head to the library to “study.” I need to appear as normal as possible. I don’t want anyone suspecting I’m taking off tonight. I’ll resume my daily routine and retire to my room at sundown. Then I’ll bide my time until everyone’s asleep. That’s when I’ll slip away.

Plan figured out, I head to the kitchen. I can only hope it’s empty, but knowing my luck, it won’t be.

Sure enough, when I arrive, Elaine is casually sitting at the table reading a book. She glances up and smiles warmly, though now all I can see is the sinister reason behind it. I ignore her attention and open the refrigerator.

I browse through the options and ultimately decide against perishables. Instead, I reach into the various shelves and pull bread and snacks down. I stack it all on a tray and grab a canister of water. I turn around and almost drop everything.

Elaine has moved in behind me, and stands too close. I step away and hit my back against the counter. She swiftly reaches forward and grabs the tray from me. I barely manage to hold back my scowl.

“You look like you can use some help carrying this. You’re a little pale, you okay?” she asks with seemingly genuine concern.

I clear my throat before speaking. “I’ll be fine. Practice was a bit rough, is all. Erik told me to eat and rest so I decided to stock up so I don’t have to leave my room tonight.” I’m amazed at how easily the lies slip from my tongue. I only hope it’s enough to get her to stop asking questions and leave me be.

“I’ll help you carry this, grab another water just in case.” Before I can utter a word of protest, she leaves the kitchen. I grab another canister and take off after her. Along the way, she makes small talk about random things. I tune it out. Soon enough, we arrive at my room and I place my provisions on the end table. Elaine says a quick goodbye before she closes the door behind her.

I breathe in a small sigh of relief before I jump in the shower. Who knows the next time I’ll be able to bath? I make this one count.