Chapter 11

Rahab

"Kudin ki sai dari biyar da hamsin" The girl informs, clearing my plates from the table.

"Kin hada sosai?" I ask suppressing a burp.

"Eh" she replies

"Na siya lemu, nawa shi?" I press, smeared conscience and all, I don't want to cheat this girl.

"Lemu, dari ne"

"Torh, nawa kudi na, ki hada shi, irin totally?"

"...Dari shida da Hamsin"

"Gashi dubu daya, bani changi" I finish, handing her the money.

"Ki sowri, karki manta da shi fa" I warn as sternly as I can manage, but my full stomach makes it hard for me to sound anything but tired. 

I haven't had a full meal like this in weeks, heck... Months even.

She arrives with my change and I stand to leave, no use staying any longer than I have.

The local buka is free now, not as packed as when I first arrived, only God knows how long I sat there in the corner contemplating my sorry state. 

I could worry about what I've done tomorrow when the food is digested and I am capable of feeling anything other than silent elation. Maybe my father won't even notice the few missing notes, I mentally defend. I push down rising questions of how my father got the money and why he has kept it hidden. No use thinking on things you can't control.

"God! I am a terrible person, and now a thief as well." 

I sigh and shake my head angrily. Remorse tomorrow Rahab, but not tonight. 

With this final verdict, I settle my nerves and walk sluggishly away.

I don't walk very far before hearing a loud quarrel, that makes me turn my head so fast I receive a whiplash for my actions. 

I don't care much for public quarrels and all, but this area, this voice, this smell... Everything feels too familiar. I have done this particular dance before.

Holding my head gingerly, I walk over following the sounds of argument to a small hedged garden with a few fairy lights hanging on slanted poles in a confusing crisscross pattern. I don't even enter the place before I am hit with a strong whiff of alcohol and déjà Vu 

Standing on my tiptoe, peering over the hedge, it takes a long while before I spot him. Slouched against a plastic table, the cup in his hand, filled to the brim with dark brown liquid, sloshes over as he gesticulates wildly. 

There's a little crowd forming around him consisting of a heavy woman, a thin lanky man and someone that looks to be a bouncer because, no one can have muscles that large if not for the sheer pleasure of throwing people out and keeping them out.

My dad is the only one laughing, or at least laughing that loudly on his table, as if being told a private joke by an apparition no one else can hear. I take in his slack grin, sleepy expression and slurred words. 

Ah, there he is, my father the sot. A public sot, but a sot non the less.

All the former remorse and lethargy in me transforms into anger, white hot and self righteous anger.

I cannot believe I felt bad for taking money from him when he had money and all he did was get drunk, lie, borrow and embarrass me. 

I don't register the tears making their way down my face. I sigh in resignation. I should go in and save him from himself. They might toss him out into a gutter considering how rowdy he's being, I can say that for a fact because, it has happened many times in the past. 

But before I am able to do anything I hear the proprietress bellow out (yes, she actually bellows, she's the type of woman with such a heavy bosom, a double chin and years of drinking behind her, that her voice has gone to tatters, so yeah... She bellows) at my haunched figure outside the hedge.

"Hey! You! Come and get this good for nothing man out of here before I do something nasty!"

She has seen me, I have seen her, we've done this before. We know this dance by heart. We both always play our part dutifully. 

Abbas, her right hand man throws me a pitiful look, he's struggling to hold my father's drunk frame upright. While the other buff guy stares in barely concealed disgust.

After what seems like forever, i decide to go in. Despite how I feel, I can't leave him here, I just can't...

Someone bumps into me - again. 

What is wrong with people ?! I fume silently.

"Excuse me?" A familiar voice says.

I wonder where I know that voice???

"Hello, you remind me of someone" the voice pushes. But I don't turn around.

That voice, its on the tip of my tongue, I know that voice.

"Zikachat?"

I freeze, no one has called me that in years. 

"Zikachat? Chat? Don't you remember me?" 

I remember the voice now, God! I wish I didn't. I wish the ground would open up and swallow me this instant. No use feigning ignorance, my face has given me away already, but maybe I can clueless for a while longer- Just for a while longer...

"We went to the same school, do you remember me?" The voice persists, I am forced to turn around and acknowledge her.

Veronica, Pretentious priss, spawn of Satan, mistress of hell, Evil Queen... And my former best friend. 

I shake my head at her, of course I remember who she is, I just wish I didn't.

"Its me, Vero, Veronica... we were friends back then in highschool!" 

Ah, there's the pretentiousness, what Nigerian calls a Secondary school, 'high school'?. 

"God! Its been so long! How have you been? You look... well" she gushes excitedly.

The lies! The avid lies! I haven't looked 'well' in years.

"What school are you in now? I heard you applied one of those posh private schools in the west, but you left so suddenly, no one was able to contact you, what happened?" She pushes.

I stare at her, too stunned to speak. Maybe if I focus really hard on not breathing I could pass out before the mortification finally kills me.

"Oh my God! You cut your hair! I used to envy your hair, why did you cut it?"

"Uh... H-h-hi" I am sweating harder now, which is causing me to stumble through my words, this is the worst possible time for this.

"H-h-how, ar-rre you?!" 

God! Please, this cannot happen, not now at least.

"Are you stammering? Is something wrong? Hope i'm not mistaking you for someone else, am I?" She's peering questioningly at me and I sweat even harder.

"And I told him over my dead body!" My father shouts in the background forcing veronica to turn. I, on the other hand, don't, maybe if I ignore it, it'll go away. A lot of maybe's today.

"Silly drunks am I right?" She jokes, I can't believe I used to make that same joke back in school.

Thank God, considering where we're both standing and how high the hedge is, It'll take miracle for her to spot my father... But what if she does? Miracles do in fact happen everyday. My mouth dries up at the thought, I should really leave now.

"Send him out! Na ranse da Allah, I'll throw both of you out myself Abbas, if this happens again!" The proprietress threatens her voice full of rage.

"You girl! Better come and carry your father, if I do anything they'll say I too like trouble!" She yells out. 

The blood drains from my face in one second, I wonder what moving to a different state would be like, Adamawa maybe, or Delta even, seems far enough away.

"Excuse me" I manage, sidestepping and walking on, hoping to God the ground actually opens up and swallows me... Whole!

As much as I'd love to go in and save my father before he makes a fool of himself, and by extension... me, I choose, instead, to save myself. Not all heroes they say, wear capes.

* * *

"Ah, welcome home ray ray"

"I s-sshould be t-telling you wel-lcome h-home" I say using my patronizing voice. If he were sober he'd have noticed and given me hell but well...

"Ray ray, haven't used that in a *burp* while" He says, a smug smile playing across his features.

He walks up to where i'm seated, and attempts to hug me. I scoot away, just an inch, it doesn't take a genius to decipher what has just happened. Drawing in a deep breath he straightens, walking past me in resignation.

I squint suspiciously at his back as he leaves. There's a dark stain on the lower part of his shirt. Peering closely I realize its a bloodstain.

"B-blood" I inform

"Where?"

"Sh-shirt S-stain" I reply gesturing at his shirt. He simply shrugs

"Pile?" I try again

"Mhmmmmmn"

"When was the last time you used the herbs Yusuf gwari gave you?"

"I hate those concoctions. They're so bitter"

"W-what abb-bout s-sitting on it-tt?"

"I don't want to!"

"F-for hh-ow l-long?"

"Hmm?"

Sighing in frustration, I gesture at his stain... again.

"I've been having pain for a while now" he answers truthfully.

"How-w bad-d"

"Very"

A look passes in his eye, I almost feel like he's not telling me something. I should prod but instead I say;

"I'll b-boil wattt-ter a-and mix-xx t-the conc-coc-ction for you tt-to sit-t on, you d-don't have t-to drink-k the ot-ther one" I assure, getting up and picking a bucket.

"Don't worry, I can manage it"

"Y-you're sss-sure you c-can fet-tch and carrr-rry wat-ter, like this?" I ask in disbelief.

"I said I can manage it!"

I don't say anything but Instead stare openly at him, not bothering to mask my irritation.

"I can manage it" he repeats, his words slurring, heat rises in me, I clamp it down immediately. 

Turning away, I leave for my room. If he claims he can manage it, who am I to stop him really? He could fill up an entire ocean for all I c...

I hear a loud thud before I am able to get far. There's only one other person in this house besides me and he claims he can manage fetching a bucket of water on his own... in his very drunk state.

Running over to the bathroom, I see him there on the floor. He looks as confused as I feel and manages to get up, his breath comes in wheezes, holding his side and cutting a glance between me and the floor like he cannot believe what just happened.

"Are you okay?" I say walking gingerly Into the bathroom. There's water everywhere, i'm at risk of falling myself, talk less of him.

He turns to me fully, and the look on his face immediately makes me want to cry, but not before I see the gash across his eyebrow, it doesn't take long before it begins to bleed.

The panic that seizes me is dizzying, but i am forced to act quickly, despite it. 

I carefully walk up to him, dodging the water puddles on the bathroom floor. Grabbing his arm, I try guiding him out, but he waves me away still holding his side, mumbling incoherent words to himself.

"Wet-tt floor, o-old-d tt-tiles, it's-ss sli-per-ry" I explain to nobody but myself. My father is disoriented as it is, but funnily, the soliloquy makes me feel better.

"Can't stay here, had to beg... and she agreed. Can't stay here, am failing, cannot help it." He chokes out still wheezing, I hate the sound he's making. I hope nothing's broken inside him, we can't afford a doctor... I remember his secret stash and repair my thought. Maybe we can.

My pant legs are soaked through and the cold is seeping into my bones threatening to choke out all the warmth in me. His blubbering makes no sense but i can listen to it later, we need to get out of the wet bathroom.

I grab a rag I hope is clean for both our sakes and hold it up to the wound. I find a sarchet of bleach partly opened and soak the rag with it before proceeding to place it back on the wound. My father grabs me abruptly shocking me and causing me to bite my tongue. Stifling a cry.

"You're going to your mother!" He sobs hysterically. I pry off his hands steadily, afraid to look at him.

"I'm sorry" he says, gesturing at my hand.

I simply shrug at his apology.

"She's already here Rahab" He says softer now, his eyes shining with unshed tears.

So that's what he was hiding? I muse silently. Undeterred I carry-on wiping his injury. My mother has never wanted me, and she sure as hell wouldn't want me now.

...

Translations

Kudin ki sai dari biyar da hamsin- Your money is five hundred and fifty (naira)

"Kin hada sosai?"- Did you add the prices all together?

"Eh"- (its generally an affirmative)

"Na siya lemu, nawa shi?" I bought fanta, how much is it (Now, lemu, although translates directly to 'orange' in hausa, can actually be an inflected form for the the popular soda 'fanta')

"Lemu, dari ne"- Fanta, hundred naira

"Torh, nawa kudi na, ki hada shi, irin totally?"- Okay, how much is my money, add them all up as in totally.

"...Dari shida da Hamsin"- Six hundred and fifty naira

"Gashi dubu daya, bani changi" - Okay, take one thousand naira, bring my change.

"Ki sowri, karki manta da shi fa"- Hurry up, don't forget oh.