Chapter 15

Rahab

"Okay?" My eyes say roaming over him while my mother talks with the doctor. We're alone in the room, he looks visibly better. I say a silent prayer of gratitude for that.

"I'm fine, i'm okay" My dad says. Turns out he wasn't going to bleed out and die, I was just being paranoid, who would've thought?

Now that the most pressing issue is out of the way, I am able to focus my thoughts on other matters. For example, my father's betrayal.

"W-why d-ddid you wait-t t-ttill t-tod-day to t-tell me s-sshe w-as c-coming?" I begin without preamble. 

Do not misinterpret. I am angry and I want to sound angry, but instead I just sound tired, my voice barely above a whisper.

"I s-saw mon-ney in y-your r-rroom w-where is-ss it-t fr-rom? I push without waiting for an answer, the questions in my mind finally bubbling up to the surface. 

"W-we've b-been l-liv-ving in t-the d-dark-kk, w-without-t fff-food-d. You d-don't-t know w-what I've h-had t-to end-dure and-d you had-d a s-ssecret st-tash of-f money and-d you d-did-dn't t-tell me?" I accuse, some of my strength coming back. 

All through he just stares at me like a fish out of water, opening and closing his mouth, but no words come forth. I feel a twinge of pity, but I stuff it back down, no way is he getting off that easily.

"W-why is-ss s-she he-re? W-why a-am I-I g-going-g wit-th he-r all of-f a s-ssud-dden? Y-you kn-now s-she d-doess-sn't w-wan-t me! O-r, or... Y-you d-don't w-want-t me t-ttoo?"

At this juncture, my mother walks in on my interrogation and flashes a stricken look between my dad and I. 

"We should leave now, look at him, he's tired and in need of rest. I've already asked the hospital staff to look after him and get back to me with updates, he's going to be alright. We really need to leave, I don't like journeying in the night." She explains punctuating her words by checking the watch on her wrist impatiently.

I ignore her, choosing instead to stare at my father.

"Did you hear me?" We need to go... Now" She emphasizes, her voice straining a little.

"You should go with her" my dad says finally. 

His first words to me since this entire thing became messy and this, this is what he wants to say?.

"N-no, I-I d-don't-t w-want-t t-to..." I start, unable to get past the lump forming in my throat.

I want to say other things like "Can't I stay here with you? I want things how they used to be. I don't want to go with her because I'll never be comfortable staying with someone who didn't even want me in the first place" But I don't utter a word. 

Blinking rapidly, I focus on the heart monitor above my father's bed, anything to distract me really.

"Go with her Rahab." He says simply, giving my mother a small apologetic smile. 

That's all it takes for my dam to burst. How dare he? How dare they both? Tossing me back and forth like i'm an object. Like I mean nothing! Nothing!

"Y-you're t-tired-d of-f m-me n-now, a-ffft-ter d-doing sss-such a-a h-horrr-rrible j-job-b, y-you're t-tired-d of-fff m-me and-d y-you're p-pass-ssing m-e off-fff t-to h-her, b-bec-caus-sse, app-pppar-rent-tly i'm a b-burd-den n-now?. H-how d-dare y-you!!?" My words come out jumbled. 

There's a hot geyser in my chest threatening to burst, the lump in my throat almost suffocating me.

I'm trying my best not to cry. Shaking my head, stamping wildly, I look and sound like a choking animal. Unable to catch my breath, because my nose is blocked from all the previous crying, I swallow gulps of air, wheezing loudly as I do so. 

I need to leave before I embarrass myself further. I hurriedly exit the room to both my parents bewildered stares.

As I leave, my mom grabs my hand stopping me in my tracks, her nail digging into my flesh. I pull away and glare at her murderously. We're outside my dad's VIP hospital room, trust my mother to go all out.

"D-d-don't t-ttouch m-me!" I warn. My voice doesn't even sound like it belongs to me. For a minute she looks taken aback, but then she regains her composure easily. 

"You don't get to do that to him, to talk to him like that... to hurt him like that" she starts, her voice, I can tell rather elatedly, is shaky.

"W-why n-n-not-t? Y-you d-did it-tt f-ffir-st-t" I counter.

She is shocked by that and for a long minute we stare at each other not saying anything, but eventually, she breaks the silence and ploughs on doggedly.

"What I mean is, look at him, you're not the only one hurt here. He's hurt too. Think of how this must be for him."

"If-ff h-he's h-hurt-ting ev-ven h-half-f as-sss m-uch as-sss I-I a-am, t-then t-that's-ss g-ood-d!" I say, pausing to draw in a ragged breath.

"H-he d-des-sserv-es it-t!." I yell as loudly as I can in the hospital's corridor. 

A nurse gives me a warning look and informs me that there are patients in the hospital that need rest, so I should be quiet. But I simply laugh her off. No one understands, no one ever understands. 

*                               *                                 *

This has to be the longest car ride in the history of car rides, and we haven't even gotten far. My mother alternates between swiping her long fingers over the screen of her phone and looking out through the window on her side.

I have nothing to do than stare at my own similarly long fingers and stare out the window as well, ironic because, as I have mentioned before, I have never met two people who looked so alike and are sooo different. 

Occasionally my eyes meet the driver's in the rear view mirror but I look away as quickly as I can, every.single.time.

How many hours will this godforsaken journey take? I muse. I'm moving into a new life without anything from my old life as a souvenir, except maybe me. 

Mama Tunani, the farmers market, all that seem like an entire life time away. 

Seun. The name appears in my mind and I am jerked by the startling realization that his gift to me is at home. I left it at my house!

I physically lurch forward at this, earning a long suffering sign from my mother and fellow passenger.

"What is it again?" My mother asks eying me warily. 

"M-my t-thing-gs, I-I d-id-dn't p-pac-k" I modify. I can't let my mother believe I actually want her to turn the car around for a pair sneakers. 

"Really?"she queries. 

I freeze, too lazy to argue. I have no more fight left in me, I'd rather just throw in my towel at this point and curl in a fetal position. Who ever is in charge of taking shots at me can actually just leave me alone to die now. I have borne more than my fair share of heartaches.

"A girl's belongings are more important than life itself" the driver jokes, directing it, surprisingly, at me... Not my mother, but me. 

Since we met, when he carried my father, this is the first time he has addressed me singularly. Our eyes meet in the rear view mirror again and he winks at me, managing a small smile. A sob catches in my throat and swallowing is all I can do to stop me from crying.

"Fine! Turn around Donald" my mother says without looking up.