I will never fit in

“Thank you so much”, Emma told Pam after she had stopped crying

“No need to thank me. I would do it for any of my girls,” She said to Emma, who reluctantly nodded her head.

“I should probably take this off,” she said, pointing to the dress she was wearing

“Let me bring your clothes,” Pam said to Emma cradle her shoulder before walking away. A few minutes later Pam came back to the room and handed the clothes to Emma, who held on to them.

She tried looking for a decent job and she couldn’t find anything. What would it hurt standing in front of a man naked?  She inwardly asked herself before she inhales and exhaling heavily..

“is the gentleman still there?” She asked Pam who was looking at her.

“Yes, but why do you ask?” Pam Asked acting surprised as she raised her eyebrows

“I want to see him; can you take me back there?” Emma asked her, but Pam shook her head.

“can’t allow you to do that,” Pam said to her, “He is furious and I am sure if he sees you, he might hurt you,” Pam said as Emma blinked back her tears

“Anyway thanks,” Emma said changing into her clothes back. When she finished, she left the club and went outside going home. How was she going to repay back the money she got from Caitlyn?

She sat outside the club, watched as unfamiliar men walked in and out of the club. Guess it was the norm for them. She thought maybe she should apologies to Armando, but quickly changed her mind.

“Still here? I thought I said you should leave my property,” she heard Armando’s voice behind who was still smoking.

“I was about to leave,” Emma said, wanting to walk away. She stopped in her tracks and turned to him as he enjoyed his cigarette.

“Do you have other jobs I can do?” Emma asked him, making him choke on his cigarette.

“What?” Armando asked her. It was dark, so he couldn’t really see her face.

“I said, do you have other jobs for me I can do? I know I messed up but am sure there’s something else that I can do,” She said to Armando. She didn’t know where she got the courage to answer him, but she did.

“Unfortunately, there’s nothing for you,” He said, leaving her alone. She looked down, swallowing hard. What did it matter if she took off her clothes or not?

She went back home and that night she slept peacefully, when she woke up the next day, she found Caitlyn waiting for her in her living room> “Ah!” Emma screamed upon coming in view of Caitlyn

“What time did you get in? What are you…?” Emma shouted on top of her voice not sure what to say to her, Caitlyn stood up looking at Emma from head to toe She was in a short nightdress and her hair tied up.

“I want you to leave this house,” Caitlyn said to her, it shocked Emma to hear that, but why was she when the person had told her

“Cat, please! Just give me…” Emma tried to plead with her but Caitlyn had come with people to throw her out already, “Emma the money I used to pay this rent, I used the money that came from a stripping pole,” Caitlyn said.

“Caitlyn please am begging you; I have nowhere to go” Emma pleaded with her friend, but it was of no use to Caitlyn as they ended up throwing her out of the house.

Emma looked at her properties being thrown out like trash. She knelt down, crying as she held on to her doll. She didn’t know what to do or where to go. She even wished for death at this point.

The chilly breeze hit her skin as she held on to herself. How could life be so cruel towards her?  She had bruises on her knees. She picked herself up before she packed her things nicely.

She got just her documents and packed them nicely in a bag. She got a coat and put it on top of her dress. She needed to find a job but never go back to the strip club. She exchanged some of her things for some cash from her neighbors before she went to the nearby toilets to change into some decent clothes. It was now official she was homeless.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> 

Weeks had passed since she became homeless and now was living in the subway, Emma stood by the road selling the street food that she had started.

After she finished, she made her way to the subway when she bumped into Eduardo “Hey watch where you are going” He yelled at her. She didn’t understand why he was upset when he’s the one who bumped in her.

“Am sorry” She slightly bowed her head, but he scoffed going to get in his car. She looked at the ground and he had dropped his wallet. She slowly picked it up to check what’s inside.

She checked the wallet, and she found $4000 dollars; she gasped upon seeing that kind of amount after such a long time; she checked what’s inside and found credit cards, passwords, and a driving license.

She put it in her bag and went to the subway to rest

“Hey!” She greeted the lady who used to sleep next to her, “I got something” Emma said handing her some food that she bought for her.

The lady grabbed the food quickly and started eating, saying nothing to Emma who briefly smiled before setting up her place and sleeping. She felt tired from standing the whole time.

 She was woken up by a sudden noise coming from someone touches her pillow. She quickly grabbed her knife getting up but found it was the lady who was sleeping next to her.

“What are you doing?” Emma quickly grabbed the wallet from her.

“Are you taking it back?” She asked Emma who turned to look at her, Emma had been at the subway for five weeks and this woman had never spoken a word to her.

“You should give it back if you keep it, you will not differ from any other thief,” She said to Emma before she lay down again.

Emma didn’t know what to do now She needed money to get out of here but also, she couldn’t keep this one because she was not a thief. What was she going to do?