Absence

                Alyssa sat in the English classroom feeling as though she was a new student all over again. Everyone glanced at her when Justin entered the room and sat back in the desk, she had originally seen him in.  It had been weeks since the argument in her room and he had been absent from school. As the teacher spoke, she knew she couldn’t keep her eyes away from him, but he never so much as glanced her way. No, I don’t care anyway. I don’t, she told herself trying to focus on the poetry that was being read by each student.

        “Alyssa,” Mrs. McKellar called out from her desk.

        Alyssa slowly stood and walked to the front of the class without looking away from her paper. “This poem is Alone by Edgar Allen Poe.” she began, “From childhood's hour I have not been. As others were, I have not seen. As others saw, I could not bring.” As she continued, she could feel everyone’s eyes on her except Justin’s. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to just take a look see if he’s okay. “From every depth of good and ill the mystery which binds me still;” Her stomach dropped seeing his attention fixed on the window beside him. I don’t care. Why should I care about someone who doesn’t care about me? I don’t but I wish I could just look into his eyes, just once, to remember why I’m so angry at him.

        “Thank you, Alyssa,” Mrs. McKellar said just as the bell rang. “Homework is to write your own poem or short story. Class dismissed.”

         Everyone rushed to leave the classroom.  Justin calmly walked by seemingly not to notice her presence. A sudden ache in her heart caused her to catch a breath.

        “Hey, Alyssa! How’s everything?” Paul asked walking beside her as she gathered her things.

        “Great. Everything is great.” She replied sarcastically as she tried not to cry.

        “Maybe we can have lunch together today?”

        “I’m eating with Dana. Maybe tomorrow,” she answered quickly rushing off quickly noticing out of the corner of her eye Danna by the tree in the courtyard. She rushed over quickly. “Hey, why are you out here in the cold?” she asked lightly touching her shoulder.

        Dana didn’t speak or move.

        “Dana?” Alyssa walked in front of her. “Dana, what’s wrong?”

        Dana stared at nothing ahead face drained of all color.

        “Dana, what is it? Is it Philip?” Alyssa lightly shook her shoulders.

        Tears streamed down her face as sobbing shook her body.

        Alyssa lightly patted her back and softly whispered, “It’s alright,” before matching her sobs.

                “I think it’s time to talk to her.” Justin said to Aviva as they ate lunch in the cafeteria. “She read a Poe poem. I could feel her eyes begging me to look at her.”

        Aviva sighed, truly annoyed as she bit into a strawberry. “That’s not so bad. Either you want things to work or you want things to be just as they were. You need her heart to be yours without hesitation. You deserve that.”

        Justin’s eyes glowed as he looked at her. “That is what I desire. I will wait but I’m not sure how much longer I can stand it.”

        “At least you know she isn’t seeing that gypsy boy or anyone else for that matter. She is right where you want her. Trust me.”

        Justin felt nothing but restless. It was hard being away for a long time but so much harder when he couldn’t even reach over and touch the woman he loved. Whatever it is that needs to be done Alyssa, quickly do it, he plead silently.

                “Dana,” Alyssa said after the bell rang for the second time. “Are you going to be ok? Should I call your brother or your mom?”

        “No, I’m alright. You should get to class.” Dana said wiping her cheeks with the back of her hands. “I think I’m going to just go home I’m not feeling well.”

        “Are you sure? You don’t want me to call Charlie?”

        “No, just go. I’ll talk to you later.” She replied before running towards the parking lot.

        Alyssa could do nothing but watch her go and couldn’t help her mind from going to Justin, right now it would be great to feel his arms around me again, she thought as she walked into the band room.

        With elegance and grace Aviva quickly crossed the room linking arms with her.  “Alyssa, we need to talk.”

        This was the last thing Alyssa expected as she was pulled into the girls bathroom.

        “How have you been?” she asked then continued before receiving an answer. “I can only assume things are horrible for you. It was hard for me to hear too, even after being what we are. I can only hope you can find some way in your heart to understand it was many years ago and he’s not the same person that killed his wife.”

        Alyssa’s eyes finally found hers weakly. “What did you say?” she asked. “What did you say he did?”

        Aviva raised her brows, “Oh, Alyssa! I’m so sorry! I shouldn’t have said anything. I just assumed that’s why you broke up. I mean you were so in love. I should get to class.”

        Alyssa couldn’t move. “Oh my gosh!” she whispered covering her mouth in horror.

***

                I just can’t get over how awesome it is that I have you all to talk to. Witches I actually can call friends! I think it’s about time we actually meet. It feels like it’s been forever.  Alyssa wrote back on the group page with excitement as she sat in her room.

        That sounds great! We were thinking of getting together this weekend. We have a really cool pace close to you called Mercies Garden; a little place just between Nell Valley and Grover Hill where we live. Keisha Clark posted.

        Can’t wait to finally meet you! Ginny Thompson added.

        I know after all that begging we’re finally going to be able to practice out gifts together! Ana Franklin followed with a smiley.

          “Can I come in?” Eomma asked standing in her bedroom doorway.

        “Sure, mom in just a second.” She said quickly typing in a goodbye. “You can come in now.”

        Eomma smiled walking next to her. “SooKyung, I love you. You know, that right?”

        “Of course, I love you too,” said Alyssa with a sweet smile.

        “Then why do you insist on staying cooped up in this room on this computer,” Hana snatched her laptop off the bed lifting her brows as she tucked it under her arm. “Yes, I know that’s what you were doing all this time. I don’t know what happened between you and Dana or even Justin, but you can’t just close yourself off from the world.

        “Why do you think that’s what I’m doing?” Alyssa asked folding her arms.

        “Why do you always think you can talk back to using that tone? Leave this room right now. Come downstairs and spend some time with the family. It’s rare enough for all of us to be here together.”

        “There was Thanksgiving.”

        “It’s almost Christmas and you had more fun when you weren’t locked up in here. Come on. We’re playing scrabble!”  Hana singsong voice filled the room as she pulled Alyssa out and down the stairs.

        Engaging her mind in a game of scrabble wasn’t something Alyssa could focus on with the mention of Dana’s name. After they cried at lunch Dana has been acting very strangely. Although she tried to cover up her emotions, it was clear that she was scared.  Whenever Alyssa asked how she was doing the automatic answer would be everything was fine. The very last time Alyssa asked about Philip more directly to help her see things a bit more clearly, her reply of instant tears were expected however her pulling away from her all together was not. Alyssa found herself without a boyfriend and without a best friend.  Jenny wasn’t as available since she started dating William. Skype with them was more a quick recap of the day, with William somehow always managing to interrupt with a date or coming over to hang out. Suddenly her cell phone vibrated. Noticing it was Jenny she excused herself stepping into the hall.  “Hello.”

        “Is that all you have to say? I need more enthusiasm! You should be ecstatic with the news of spending Christmas here.”

        “What are you talking about, Jenny?” Alyssa asked completely taken back.

        There was a moment of silence before Jenny started whining. “Oh! I can’t believe I ruined the surprise! I really should have waited for you to call me, but I was so excited.”

        “Jenny, are you serious? I’m spending Christmas in Palo Alto?” Alyssa confirmed excitedly.

        “Yes!” Jenny replied squealing into the phone.

        Alyssa joined in jumping up and down before running into the family room to hug and kiss both of her parents. “Thank you so much!  When are we leaving?”

        “We aren’t going back. Just you,” Appa answered with a gentle smile. “I thought it might just be the thing to pick you up this winter.”

        “I can’t thank you enough! I can’t wait to tell Dana! Would you mind if I went now?”

        “Of course, you can. Drive safely.” He said watching her rush out of the room.

                “Jenny, I’ll call you back.” Alyssa said as she rang the doorbell. Dana would usually be the one to open the door however this time it was Grammie.

        “Come in Alyssa,” the woman who so resembled Dana said warmly.

        “Hello Grammie. Is Dana here?”

        Grammie smiled gently pulling her into the dimly lit living room.  “She is and isn’t. Dana’s spirit is extremely troubled. She is living on the outskirts of darkness sliding on frozen ground. Perhaps you could shine some warmth on her today?”

        “I,” Alyssa paused not exactly knowing what to make of what she said, “will do my best.”

         “That’s good to hear. She’s in her room. Knock first but then be sure to go straight in. You are the only one who can help her through this. Your gift is very special.”

        Alyssa met her dark eyes. “My gift, how do you know? Dana said you knew I was a witch but how do you know what these powers can do?”

        Grammie smiled. “There’s nothing truly hidden in nature. We are creatures created from the earth itself. Everything that is, we are as well.”

        “I’ll go straight there,” Alyssa replied before quickly walking to Dana’s room. “Dana, it’s me Alyssa.” Not for getting to knock she entered.  Alyssa eyes took a moment to adjust to the darkness of the room. When they finally did, she saw Dana sitting balled up in the corner of her bed as though she was a mouse chased into the corner by a cat.

        “I’m really not feeling well today.” She muttered without even glancing her way.

        “What’s wrong? Dana, we haven’t talked in days. Please let me help you. You’re my best friend.”

        Dana shook her head slowly. “I can’t. I don’t deserve friends.” She whispered.

        “That’s nonsense! I wouldn’t know what to do if I didn’t literally run into you in the cafeteria,” she waited a moment for any reply then continued. “Fine, if you don’t want to be friends anymore, that’s fine but at least tell me why? What’s wrong? Have you ever thought that after you’ve told me, I wouldn’t be your friend anyway? Thinking of it that way should make this an easy decision for you. Please Dana.”

        She spoke in a soft whispery voice, “I did something evil. I called on an evil spirit, a demon to get her out of the way. I didn’t think her life was in danger. I didn’t think it and I didn’t care. She was in a car accident. I know it was because of me. I don’t deserve to live.” 

        Alyssa gasped as the room somehow seemed to get darker all around her. "What is going on?" she whispered. "Whoever it was I'm sure you're telling the truth and you didn't mean it."

        "It was Selina. the image of her hugging Philip ripped my heart and I almost killed her. A murderer." The darkness seemed to almost swallow her alive at those words sending Alyssa's heart into a state of panic.

        “Who says you can’t ever make a mistake?! Is that any reason to say that?! I know talking won’t do us any good now. Maybe I can help you this way.” Alyssa could feel the warmth before she even thought about it and sent it right onto Dana.

        Dana was bathing in darkness. Every breath she took was laid heavily on her chest. You are horrible; she heard her inner voice say. How could you harm someone else and call yourself a protector? This is the reason why Philip doesn’t want you! She was freezing inside and out but somehow there became comforting warmth that began to spread like wildfire attacking every inch of her body. It was painful and joyful at the same time. She noticed the voice was drifting further away from her and a new one was taking its place.

        “You’re going to get through this, Dana!” Alyssa assured as light continued to pour from her hands. Finally, Dana’s body began to glow, and Alyssa noticed a dark figure flee from her body into a corner of the room. “Whatever you are, you can’t have her!”  She declared filling the room with warm golden light.

         Dana eyes were finally opened. She gasped at the brightness she found she was swimming in. “Alyssa! I’m alright now,” Dana cried out with closed eyes blindly throwing herself into her best friend's arms.

        The light instantly disappeared as they hugged. “I saw something.” Alyssa said as they sat together.

        “It was a shadow demon. It was there to make sure I pay for my sins with my life. At least that’s what I believe. I really did a stupid thing.”

        Alyssa pushed her. “Yes, you did! What’s wrong with you?! All you had to do was talk to me about it or wait until the next day to talk to Philip and have it out.”

        Dana shook her head. “I know Alyssa. I’m really, very sorry.”

        “Apology accepted.” Alyssa smiled plopping down on the bed finding she had become very tired.

        Dana stared at her. “You’re a total purifier! Alyssa, when did you realize you can what you just did?”

        “Honesty I didn’t know. Grammie knew! She said nothing is a secret in nature or something like that.”

        Dana’s expression was of gratitude as she glanced at her door. “Thank you, Grammie,” she gentle said with a knowing smile.

        “You’re welcome!” Grammie returned opening the door.

        Alyssa giggled, lying back on the bed listening to the loving voices of Grammie and Dana as she drifted off to sleep.