Chapter 5 - Avoiding Him

The next morning, Cissie was twisting her head, not because of hangover, but because everything that happened last night was still fresh in her mind. It was as if a drum was playing whenever she recalled it. She went to school earlier than Jay as she didnn't want him to ask her about what happened. She thought she could not handle it and faint due to embarrassment.

"Why is everyone staring at me?" Cissie asked herself while walking on the corridor. She couldn't help but felt annoyed and she felt like melting with the intriguing eyes staring at her.

"Yuck! Is she that girl? Oh my goodness! What did he see in her?" a brat girl said while looking at Cissie from head to toe.

"Hey, you filthy beggar! Know where you stand! Get lost from Jay's sight. You're not even pretty, you look so dirty. Stop following him around, he might become ugly because of you," another nasty one said. Cissie pretended to hear nothing and continued walking. She didn't want to bother about it.

"Hey, don't be rude when someone's talking to you!" the nasty girl shouted while pulling Cissie. She fought back this time.

"Hey! First and foremost, I don't know you girls and I am not a snob. As a matter of fact, it was you who were rude and you're blocking my way.  Second, I'm not following him. He was just kind to let me stay in his place. Of course, I know that I'm not pretty. I don't pretend either as I'm not hypocrite unlike you. You are the ones who need to mind your own lives. Get your freaking hand off me!" Cissie was trembling in anger while trying to control her anger. She managed to escape from the nasty girl who pulled her. She paid no attention to what the nasty girl said next. She chose to leave as her tears were starting to fall. She couldn't accept herself that people judged her right away. She admitted that she wasn't pretty, but what she couldn't accept were all the insults and humiliations that she didn't deserve. Even for once, she made sure she would never be a burden to others. She worked hard to get what she wanted. She continued walking while her tears were falling. She didn't care about the people who were looking at her. She walked straight to their room. It was painful for her that, for the first time in her life, she was humiliated for no reason. She didn't even paid attention to her friends and seatmates who were asking what happened.

"Hey bezzie, what's wrong?" Jay asked.

"Nothing, just something bad came up earlier," she responded while looking at nothing, crying.

"I know you. You don't just cry unless the problem is something serious. Do you mind telling me what happened?"

"Please, bezzie, I need to be alone. Just leave me alone this time. It would be a great help if you'll do it.

"Okay. I'm sorry. I'm just worried about you."

"It's okay. I'll be fine. Just let me be alone for a while. I hope you understand. Thanks for your concern but I will tell you as soon as I am ready," Cissie insisted.

Jay left Cissie alone by herself. He knew her, when things were better, she would tell him what happened. Another day of school ended, Cissie still hadn't told him anything. He felt like she didn't have any plans to tell him. Jay was so worried that Jay started to look for ways for his friend to open up.

"Hey, you've been like this the entire day. I'm really worried. Do you want me to beat the person causing you so much pain?" Jay, who was trying to lighten up Cissie's mood, tapped her shoulder.

"Nah, your handsomeness will just be wasted. It wouldn't look good on you. Just let it be me since I look like an amazona."

"Nah! We wouldn't hit ourselves anyway, we'd just rock on their faces and for sure I'll win!" Jay somehow managed to made Cissie smile with what he said.

"Well, kidding aside, would you tell me what happened early this morning, bezzie?" Jay asked again.

"I'm sorry bezzie, I can't tell you this time."

"Okay, it seems like I can't do anything about it. But if you need help, just tell me right away, okay? Let's go home."

"Bezzie, I can't go with you. I have something important to do. Go ahead, I have to finish something."

"Are you finishing the fight? Just kidding. Alright, bye!" Cissie just nodded. When Jay left, she just sighed and turned around. She had nothing else to do, she was just making up reasons not to walk with Jay home.

"Bezzie, I think I have to distance myself from you. I know I'm poor but I don't want them to step on me," Cissie told herself while her tears were on the sides of her eyes. She went to her favorite hangout, the secret room in the library, and there she wallowed. Later, she felt sleepy so she decided to go home before the school gate closed. She walked as if without destination, her face blank. She still couldn't forget what happened that morning. Was it because she was ugly and poor that people have the right to step on her?

She arrived to where she stayed without knowing it.

"Hija, you came home late," Jay's grandma greeted her but Cissie didn't respond as if she's not hearing anything at all, so Jay's grandma tapped her shoulder.

"Hija, are you all right?" she asked.

"Oh. Granny, sorry," Cissie melancholy replied.

"Your thoughts seemed to have already reached the Americas. Is there any problem?"

"I'm fine, granny. I was just bullied earlier but that wouldn't happen again. Granny, please don't tell Jay what happened. It's possible that he'll fight back which could make things worse," Cissie pleaded.

"Okay. Just promise that when you can't handle things anymore, tell us so we could help you, okay? Go upstairs and change, then we'll have dinner."

"Okay granny. Thanks for everything. I'll repay you when time comes," Cissie got teary-eyed.

"Oh please, You are my grandson's best friend. I also consider you as my grandchild," granny caressed Cissie's cheeks.

"Thank you."

Afterwards, she went upstairs to change clothes. She was thinking what could have happened to her if she didn't meet Jay's family. But what's painful was that she has to distance herself from him. She couldn't help but cry due to that pain in her heart. Was it because she was humiliated for no reason or was it because she couldn't bear being distant from him? But she had already made up her mind to avoid Jay for the meantime to have a little pride for herself. She washed her face before going downstairs as they might notice that she cried.

"Bezzie, I didn't know you were already here. Let's eat! What took you so long?" her friend asked Cissie.

"Huh? Oh... I just did something important. School papers, you know," Cissie sat down and took a plate but she avoided Jay's eyes.

"Hey, something wrong? I feel like you're hiding something from me. What is it?"

"Nah, nothing. It's just that I'm so tired that is why I look like this. By the way, few days to go and we are to perform. I just can't wait," Cissie tried to change the topic.

"Yeah, me too. We only have a week to practice and maybe we can do it tonight as we don't have any exam tomorrow. The band could rehearse during the remaining six days."

"Okay," Cissie doesn't feel like talking anymore so she simply replied.

Cissie hurriedly ate as she didn't want to hear any questions from Jay. It was like eating porridge, just swallowing everything without chewing. She didn't care even though the food was a little bit hard and bony. She just wanted to finish eating and leave. That didn't escape Jay's attention.

"Hey bezzie, are you in a hurry? Eat slowly or else you will later need my CPR," he started joking.

Because she was surprised, Cissie choked. She spit what she ate and kept on coughing. She was surprised when Jay said he would perform CPR to her. She couldn't imagine the scene. She would certainly faint if that would happen. Instead of not wanting to hear anything from Jay, he instead brought up CPR which was in fact like indirect kissing. She avoided awkward situations, but it seemed like what he said would happen.

"Hey, are you okay?" he was so worried with Cissie that he went near her and held both of her shoulders, while his eyes are fixed on hers.

"Oh my, don't do that to me. You are killing me with that tantalizing eyes," Cissie silently said while trying to calm herself.

"It's okay bezzie. I just suddenly choked." She removed Jay's hands from her shoulders and looked away.

"Tell me the truth, are you really okay bezzie?" Jay was still looking at Cissie with those eyes again.

"Oh please, please, stop that bezzie!" Cissie silently scream from the back of her mind because she struggling to calm herself at that moment.

"I am fine, promise," Cissie still tried to avoid Jay's eyes. She felt like her whole personality was being scrutinized by that stare.

"I'm sorry if I startled you but you look cute," he smiled to Cissie. With that, she couldn't help but be mad at him as if time was playing tricks on her. But she was already decided with her plan of avoiding him. She went to the kitchen as she feared what could happen next. On the other hand, Jay is preparing for their last rehearsal.

"Bezzie!" Jay called her from the hut.

"We need to get this done early," he continued.

"Yes, wait a sec. I'll be there in a bit," Cissie was in a hurry and didn't notice that the floor was wet that she slipped. The floor was made of wood so everyone heard that she fell.

"Ouch! Help!" Cissie shouted. Jay hurriedly went to her when he heard Cissie to know what happened.

"Bezzie, what's wrong? Are you okay?" Jay worriedly asked.

"I tripped, bezzie. It's so painful," Cissie cried in pain.

"Sorry, it was my fault. I asked you to hurry up. Can you stand up?" Cissie just nodded. But when she tried to stand, Jay noticed that she was having a hard time, so he lifted her and carried her. Cissie tried to stop him but Jay didn't allow her to. He brought her to the kitchen to apply first aid on her strain and rehearse after. However, what's in Cissie's mind was only to finish the rehearsals, and remove all the burdens she had in her heart. She found it hard to avoid Jay if they were always together. She couldn't do much if they continue living under the same roof.

Because she was determined to avoid Jay, the following day she thought of reasons to avoid him as much as possible.

"Bezzie, let's have pizza after class downtown. It'll be my treat since I was the reason why you sprained your ankle," Jay invited her while Cissie was fixing her school stuff.

"Oh, I have to finish my report, bezzie. One group didn't do their part today so I have to report tomorrow. Miss Langit wouldn't accept late reporters. Maybe next time," Cissie excused herself.

"Oh really? Too bad. Well, work harder Miss Diligent," Jay teased Cissie.

''By the way, let's go home together, '' Jay continued.

"Oh, I don't know what time I would finish my report. I think it's best if you'd go home first as granny might worry," Cissie reasoned again.

"Okay, I'll go ahead. See you later, bezzie."

"Take care."

Cissie felt relieved when she saw Jay leaving. She succeeded today. What excuses would she give him the next days to come? She walked towards the campus gate while thinking of excuses. She's not really going to do research, she just used that as an excuse. While thinking of what to tell him next, she forgot that she was crossing the zebra line by their school. She got herself back when someone bumped her.

"Oops, sorry. I didn't see you walking. I thought there wasn't anyone since you don't look like a person," said the girl wearing a uniform from a different school. Her friends laughed at her insult.

"That's fine, I didn't notice you either. I don't pay attention to worthless stuff." The eyes of the girls who insulted Cissie were almost falling out of their sockets with their glare.

"Oh my! Girls, did hear what this 'Nobody' just said?" Then, the girl looked to her peers to get sympathy.

"Hey you filthy clingy beggar! Did you forget to look at the mirror? Or maybe you can't afford one. Do you want me to give you one to see yourself and realize that you and Jay are not meant for each other? Stay away from him!" the girl heatedly said.

Cissie could only close her eyes and sighed. She had to calm herself.

"Well, I am totally aware that Jay and I are not really meant for each other. I think you girls has to evaporate as you are in the wrong school. I don't understand why you are everywhere with your trash-like attitudes. Have some shame for yourself, you go this far for a guy. I don't even know why I waste my time with useless stuff. I'd rather leave!" Cissie rebutted.

She did not pay attention with what those girls had to say after. They were not from that school anyway. She didn't understand why even outsiders treated her badly when she didn't even take advantage of anyone. Cissie felt more humiliated which fired up her determination to stay away from Jay. As soon as she arrived home, she volunteered to do grocery shopping just not to see Jay. After cooking, asked Granny Nancy if she could have dinner first as she had a lot of projects to finish, when in fact there's none. She made herself busy writing. The next day, she left home early. It was so early that she left at 6AM when school starts at 7:30 AM.

"Nai nai, where is Cissie?" Jay asked his grandma while trying to open his eyes.

"She left early. She said she has something important to do so she left at 6 AM."

"What's she going to do then?"

"I have no idea! You are the student, you should know it."

"Wow, she didn't even wait for me. She's either in a hurry or busy. There's something happening that I don't know," Jay tried to find a reason.

"Did you have a fight?" his grandma said.

"No, we didn't. Don't worry, I'll figure it out later," Jay replied. Then off he showered.

Jay became puzzled with what Cissie was doing. As soon as he was in school, he searched for her. When he saw her, Cissie went off to another direction as if she didn't see him. He was about to call her but she walked fast enough that he lost her in sight. Jay felt that something not good happened and he had to know what that was. Later that afternoon, Jay found a way to go home with Cissie.

"Bezzie, let's go home together. Let's just drop by our favourite pizza house," he invited her just to make sure that there was something with his friend.

"Uhm, I appreciate it but I need to finish my baby thesis. The deadline is on Monday and we haven't finished our research. I'd really love to go with you but not now, maybe next time after our defense," Cissie rejected.

"I'd help you with researching and encoding thing after dinner. I have nothing to do later anyway. Besides, we have finished the rehearsals so I could surely help you," Jay insisted.

"So sorry, but I can't go with you this time. I don't want my group mates to think something else."

It was so obvious to Jay that his friend was just making excuses.

"I'll go ahead then. See you later at home, seems like I can't change your mind. Bye," Jay said his goodbyes with lots of questions in his head. He had to find a way to know the reason why Cissie was acting weirdly. He did not go home first as he thought of secretly following Cissie. After making a turn in the hallway, she entered a different room. Jay still followed Cissie secretly until she went upstairs to the library. When he couldn't see her anymore in the library, only one thing entered his mind. He went to her secret hideout. He opened the door but he didn't expect what he saw.

"Bezzie, are you crying? Why? What's the problem? Did you got into a fight?" Jay worriedly asked. Cissie almost fell down from where she was sitting as she was startled. She didn't realize that Jay would find her in that state.

"What happened to you bezzie? Answer me. How can I help you if you won't speak up?" Jay walked towards Cissie.

"Oh, I just had a small problem," Cissie couldn't look straight at Jay's eyes.

"How small? You wouldn't wallow here if it was just a small thing. I also noticed that you tried to distance from me this week. Why? You even lied to me. I know that you're done with your baby thesis as I asked Jeff about it. Isn't he your group mate?"

"This is really just nothing, I swear. Why would I even avoid you?"

"I don't know! That's why I'm here. Even if you don't tell me, I know you're trying to avoid me."

"Of course, not! You got it all wrong. I just have a personal problem, bezzie," Cissie tried to walk away just to avoid eye to eye contact with Jay. But he was quick enough to halt her.

"I know you. Please, just tell me what happened. We will not go home unless you tell me the truth. I mean it," Jay said with authority over her.

"You really want to know? Fine!'' she took a deep breath to gain strength to start up.

''I have never been humiliated in my entire life. I know I'm ugly and poor, but I have never done anything wrong to anyone, and never meddled with someone else's life," Cissie resented and cried.

"What exactly happened?" he scratched his head out of confusion.

"Well, I was just mobbed by your diehard fans from other school to be insulted. Even students from here do that to me as well. They shove it in my face that I am the one who keeps following you. Do you know what they told me? 'Get rid from Jay's sight, you filthy clingy beggar.' Now tell me, how would you react if it were you? You could have punched them in the face. That's why I have decided to keep distant from you, bezzie. I couldn't accept myself their insults. I hurts me so much," vulnerably, Cissie related while her tears were flowing continuously.

"I'm so sorry, bezzie. I didn't know that. Surely they envy you because of what we are right now. Don't waste your time on them, you wouldn't see them for a lifetime anyway. Look, two months to go and we are to graduate. Just let them be green with envy. If that is what was bothering you, then it's easy to solve that. Stop crying." Then, Jay hugged Cissie. She got shocked with what Jay did. It was as if the earth stopped at that moment. She was happy and nervous for unknown reasons. She didn't bother stopping him. Jay's hand was on Cissie's shoulders all the time until they got home. She did not care about the people around them, what's important was her happiness.