Alone again

Why was my life going so bad? First everyone hates me, then I find people who like me and who want to help me, then I also meet dark elves, including a very nice one and then exactly this one killed me in his anger. I no longer feel anything, no sensations, such as feelings or physical nature, I am weightless and outlawed. I feel good here in this nothing, because it is dark so that nothing could be seen, but it wasn't cold either. It felt nice to be here where nothing could happen to you anymore.

Somehow my consciousness still seems to persist, what would I give to see Moran now, but maybe it's better that way, because he wouldn't be able to see me, only my dead shell, which is now at his feet. But I would still be interested in whether he finally recognized me, even if it is too late. But something is in nowhere, I can't describe it, it's warm. I always thought that the dark nothing is cold and then you go into the warm light, because that's how it was always described. But I'm not cold here, there is no light here either, in the direction of which I could have gone. But why not, maybe I am not dead after all, maybe I still have a chance to live? The warmth around me felt strange.

I'm slowly getting the feeling that it's not just warm, but that the heat is coming from an object or someone. Amalia? I wanted to see her again, wanted to take her in my arms again, tell her how much I love her. She is just an angel that you have to love, like a loving mother that I never had and now it's all too late. Shouldn't I have helped the dark elves after all? At least I would be alive and with her now, but then I would not have met Moran, I shouldn't have got to know him because he would be dead.

Well, it shouldn't be, either he dead or me and since I'm dead I at least saved his life. Then I'm no longer a block on anyone's legs, even if I would have liked to have spent more time with Moran, got to know him better and maybe even got closer. Yes, that's a nice idea, Moran and I, a couple.

A few? Wait a minute, every time I touch him, I feel a thunderstorm running through my whole body? Am I in love after all? In Moran? I wanted to avoid that. Why do I only notice it now, now that it is too late, now that I can no longer tell him that, now that it no longer makes sense to love him, now that he is immeasurably distant, now that I am dead. I'm such an idiot, it can't be true. Why am i so stupid? But what difference would it have made if I had noticed earlier, he would never have been able to reciprocate my feelings.

Well, what has fallen on my cheek and is it running down? When I wiped the liquid off my cheek with my finger and tasted it, it tasted salty. Wait a minute, that was a tear, but I'm not crying at all. Where did this tear come from? If I had a mirror in front of me now, I could have judged it better. But I didn't feel like I was crying. My feelings are rather neutral, I don't feel anything, just amazement at what is happening to me. There, another tear that fell on my cheek, where did they come from? I look up because they seem to have fallen down and then I discovered it.

There's a little glow there, but why up there, isn't the bright light always in front of you, and above all, how do I get up there now? Since there was nothing and nobody here, I couldn't climb up. And another tear, this time it fell on my lips. Someone is crying up there, but why? How do I get up there to find out? This is a strange place. Suddenly I feel something in my hair, it feels like a caress, but there is absolutely nothing here, except me or am I wrong? And yet something seems to be caressing my hair.

But there, the next tear, this caressing of my head again. Confusion crept into me. I closed my eyes to concentrate on the petting and a few moments later I noticed something. The hands that caressed me, they looked familiar, but where did they come from? I couldn't place it, but still I thought I knew those hands. I let the caress work on me and then it occurred to me.

Moran! It was Moran, but why is he caressing my head, he's not here at all. I'm alone here in nowhere, I'm already dead, am I not?

I opened my eyes again and all of a sudden I had a sore throat, it was too light so I had to squint my eyes, the darkness was gone and then a tear fell on my lips again. I slowly opened my mouth and licked the tear off my upper lip. I felt someone holding me, I was lying on the ground and someone was holding me, but by whom? It wasn't exactly comfortable, but it was pleasant to be held by someone like that. My vision slowly became clearer and I could see something.

There were many trees around me, so I was in the forest, then I saw gray-blue pointed ears that peeked out through the black hair, golden tearful eyes, a frightened face and then a bewitching smile.

"Thank heaven. You live! I didn't kill you after all. How are you, are you in pain Tell me what, talk to me? "

Texted again by this man, a second time that day, only this time I wasn't in a bad mood because of it, I was even in a good mood.

"Slowly slowly. I'm fine, just a little sore throat, but otherwise everything is fine, don't worry. Everything is good."

I tried to smile and since Moran smiled more broadly, I actually managed to smile.

“I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you, but there was this guy talking about it like you belonged to him. I couldn't imagine what he would have done if you hadn't escaped to come to me for help. I just went nuts. I'm really so sorry, how can I ever make it up to you? "

I would know something, but I won't tell him because I don't know how he would react if I told him now that a kiss would be enough for me. But just the idea of his perplexed expression made me smile.

"You don't have to, I shouldn't have acted so stupidly, I should have waited until you calmed down again, maybe I shouldn't have followed you at all. It wasn't your fault, I knew the danger and still stayed close to you. "

My voice still sounded a little hoarse and scratchy, but that didn't matter, since he was so close to me, I didn't have to speak louder and could therefore spare her a little. Although I wouldn't have been able to speak out loud anyway, my throat hurt too much for that.

What a beautiful sight, he holds me in his arms and cries for me. I would never have expected that, from Amalia, but from him, he's a really nice guy if you don't want to mess with him, because then he becomes dangerous, even cruel and fatal.

"I still shouldn't have attacked you, but why didn't you fight back?"

He sounded worried, what should I tell him now, that I basically wouldn't have trusted him, that he would really do something to me, that I was hoping, like a little child, that he would come to? I don't know, there are so many thoughts in my head, I could also tell him that I fell in love with him, but what's the point now? I don't think he'll understand that now, I don't want to tell him yet, because I don't really know him at all. Even if I've seen a few new things about him, that doesn't mean anything yet.

“I didn't mean to evade, and I don't really know why. I was hoping that you would recognize me and come to you before something happened, but it must have taken too long for you to come to you again. But no matter, we have to move on. I'm fine, I'll get up now and then we'll ride on. "

The look on his face told me that he would have preferred if I rested for a while, but we had to, he knew that as well as I did. So he helped me get up, but I couldn't stand alone because I was still too weak. To keep me from falling over again, he hugged me and held me like that for a little while, until my circulation got used to moving forward. He supported me and then took me to my horse. The saddle was so high, I had no strength to swing myself up there, after a few attempts I gave up, because it was no use, I didn't have the strength to climb.

Suddenly he picked me up and walked over to his horse, sat me on it and went back to take my horse's reins and lead it to me, then tied Storm's reins to his horse's saddle so that he could pull her after us can. Then he took the black fur that he gave me yesterday and wrapped me up so that I wouldn't freeze, then sat up and wrapped an arm around me, holding me tight.

"Is that okay with you? I don't want you to fall off your horse, so I'll hold you in my arms if you agree. "

I nodded to him and we rode off.

It was a strange feeling to be held by him like that, because you wouldn't expect it from a dark elf. But it was a great feeling, he was so gentle with me and that after I saw so much contempt in his eyes when we first met. I could hardly believe that those contemptuous eyes even cried and that for me. Does he have feelings for me too? I can't imagine it, but I'd really like to know what he thinks of me.

But maybe I'm just getting too hopeful, because it may well be that he already has a wife and so he would never reciprocate my feelings. The thought kind of ached in my chest. Him and another woman? I couldn't imagine it, but what would I do if it really was? I didn't really want to think about this question because I could have been too worried.

So I snuggled up against him and just enjoyed being with him, feeling his warm body, the light pressure with which he hugged me. I felt very comfortable in his arms, but unfortunately this moment doesn't last forever, because at some point we will dismount and then I'll be alone again.