Chapter 13

"Is he your friend?"

Dylan is startled at the sound of Bryan's voice. "Sorry?"

Bryan drops on the couch next to Dylan, tucking one foot under his thigh. "That guy who's been here a lot. Is he your friend?" 

"He was," is the only response Dylan offers before he shifts his gaze back to the sketch he's working on. Painting and sketching somehow comforts him. "I thought your parents are visiting today." The boy doesn't seem to be fazed by Dylan's indifference. 

"They did." Bryan's somber tone catches Dylan‘s attention.

"What happened?" Dylan's taken aback when he sees Bryan's eyes brimmed with tears. 

Bryan's gaze slides down to his lap and he starts to play with the hem of his shirt. Something about his downcast expression prompts Dylan to set his sketchpad and pencil on the table.

"That bad, huh?" .

Bryan doesn't say anything. The constant chatter around them and the soft music playing in the common room serve as their background. They watch the gardener outside shovel snow out of the pathway.

"They don't get it. My mom and dad," Bryan says after a while. "They don't get me."

"Is that why you're here?" Dylan is surprised he's showing any interest at all, hasn't done that with anyone in the center before. 

Bryan's eyes harden. "He killed himself and they blamed me for it."

Dylan's not sure if it's ethical to pry but he asks anyway. "Who?" 

"Scott. My… ex-boyfriend." The last word is barely audible, as if Bryan is afraid to say it out loud. "Our relationship was a secret, but someone caught us making out in Scott's backyard and his teammates found out. He was cut from the basketball team."

"That's fucking discrimination," Dylan spits out.

"They didn't care about that." Bryan sucks in a breath and releases it in a sort of cathartic way. "They just cared about the team's reputation and they thought a gay player would ruin it."

"So Scott killed himself because he was cut from the team?" The words have left his mouth before Dylan realizes that's probably an insensitive thing to say but Bryan cuts him off before he can apologize.

"No." Bryan sniffs, wiping his face against the sleeve of his sweatshirt. "A lot of things happened afterwards. His parents found out and they weren't too happy about it. His friends abandoned him and the other kids at school taunted him endlessly. I guess it was all too much for him that he pushed me away, too and…." He takes a long, deep breath before slipping into his private thoughts once more.

Dylan doesn't coax Bryan to continue. He waits and waits until Bryan is ready to speak again. A nurse brings them a plate of cookies.

"You boys want some hot cocoa to go with that?" the nurse asks and Dylan tells her that yes, they would love to have some. It looks like they're going to be here for a while. He doesn't know why he feels bad thinking of just leaving Bryan here.

The nurse returns with two mugs of steaming chocolate and as soon as she leaves, Bryan says, "He was wrong, you know," like he hasn't been silent for the past five minutes. "He was wrong when he said that he would only make my life miserable if he stuck around. Truth is, I needed him. I still do. Without him, my life is even more miserable."

Dylan hesitates but then he thinks [What the hell] and lifts his arm to pull Bryan closer. The teenager doesn't cry. He just lays his head on Dylan's shoulder. 

They stay that way and Dylan listens intently while Bryan tells him how his parents still refuse to acknowledge his sexuality. Dylan senses the anguish resonating inside Bryan and it scares him. It scares him because the same anguish is boiling inside him.

It doesn't surprise Dylan when Lance appears at the entryway with Riva half an hour later. He usually comes at this hour.

"You should talk to him," Bryan whispers. "It's obvious that he cares about you." He gets up when Lance makes his way towards them. "I should go. I have a session with the shrink in ten minutes. I'll see you later." He smiles at Lance before dashing out of the common room.

"Hey," Lance says, hands stuffed in his pant pockets while he bounces on the balls of his feet.

The proverbial ice around Dylan's heart cracks and something in him changes. He embraces the possibility of rekindling his friendship with Lance Stradson.

"Hey." Dylan pats the empty spot beside him in silent invitation. A familiar feeling blooms in his chest when the smile sitting on Lance's lips grows wider. Lance settles beside Dylan without a second thought.

"Sorry I interrupted your conversation with the boy," Lance says while plucking off a non-existent lint on his jeans.

"You didn't interrupt anything. He was leaving anyway." The lie tastes sweet on Dylan's tongue. Lance stares at him with knitted brows. It doesn't make Dylan feel uneasy, only curious so he asks, "What?"

Lance's lips stretch into a non-humorous grin. "You need to shave."

Dylan's eyebrow shoots up his forehead. "Why? Don't I look good with a beard and a mustache?"

A soft chuckle spirals out of Lance. "Oh you do look good with a beard and a mustache. You just have too much of it right now."

"Yeah." Dylan doesn't argue because he's well aware it's true. "Well, they won't let me handle a shaver, let alone a blade," he says while studying the asymmetrical patterns on the wooden floor of the common room. "The only time I can shave is if a nurse or an olderly would do it for me. I've been refusing their offers."

When Lance says, "Would you let me?" Dylan's eyes spring up to his face. 

"You would?" Dylan has been treating Lance like he doesn't exist since Lance started visiting so offering to do something that may be considered intimate on Lance's part is hardly on Dylan's list of expectations.

"Yeah, why not? I'll go ask the nurses to lend me a shaver and some shaving cream. Be back in a zip," Lance says and he's up on his feet in a heartbeat, rushing straight to the nurses' station like a man on a mission. 

Maybe Bryan is right. Maybe Lance does care. Maybe second chances aren't so bad after all.

*

It was Saxon's birthday and Dylan wanted to do something special for him.

"Where would you want to go?" he asked Saxon but the response he got blew him out of the water,

"Can we visit the Hematology-Oncology ward of the nearby children's hospital? I'd like to spend a few hours with the children," was what Saxon said.

"Alright." Dylan just went with the flow. He would do anything Saxon wanted on his special day.

They picked up some packed meals from Mc D for the children on the way, the kind that has toys included. It turned out that Saxon had called ahead to ask for a headcount.

Watching Saxon interact with the children made Dylan's heart swell with affection. How could he not love this man even more?

"What?" Saxon asked when he caught Dylan staring. 

Dylan just shook his head, pulled Saxon closer and said, "Have I told you lately how much I love you?"

Saxon's arms slid over Dylan's shoulders and around his neck. "I love you, too. And thanks for helping me do this. It's the best present." He smiled and pressed his lips against Dylan.