20. Want y*u

Playlist for this chapter;

Infinity - One Direction,

House On Fire - Sia,

Tonight - Westlife (This song was on repeat while I was writing this chapter, it gave me so much inspiration to write Kate and Max's scene mostly)

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I'm not really an affectionate person, and I know people aren't meant to be together forever. Someone might want you today, but end up hating you the next day, or not want you anymore when someone who intrigues them pops out from nowhere. Life is unfair and will stay that way. It's something we can't change because we're born into it, and the only solution is death. Fucked up right?

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"OH JAMES, does it have to be on the floor? You wouldn't even listen to me when you were an infant, why should I expect you to listen to me now?" Molly exclaims at the mess of cereal, milk and a bowl on the floor. "Shit!" She groans through gritted teeth, grabs a towel and starts wiping the mess off the floor.

"Oopsy, mommy's said a bad word again." James chuckles mischievously, with the napkin on his neck, fingers balled into fist, he resume singing the song he was singing, before he'd dumped his bowl of cereal on the floor. His freckles makes him look more like his mom, and with mischief glinting on his eyes, he pausea singing and says "Shit!" Loud and clear, then smacks his spoon on the table.

Molly groans, and instructs James not to repeat bad words again, while I just scoff, sniffing in the scent of Dylan while he in turn nuzzles on my neck and lets out a happy baby sound.

"Here, let me help you with that." I hand  Dylan over to her, squart with the towel and start cleaning the mess on the floor.

"So it's true then."

"What?" I pause from dumping the bowl on the sink and turn to her, out of confusion and curiousity.

"That you got kidnapped."

I feel my lips part in suprise at this.

"How did you know?" I inquire.

"It was all over the headlines." She replies, trying to pull the hands of Dylan away, from repeatedly smacking her face.

"Oh." is all I can voice out. Fully aware I can't keep my identity hidden with Molly anymore, because she already knows who I am.

"So you know I'm Steve Jones's daughter?"

She nods. "My husband, Hunter, works for your Dad."

Adverting my eyes away from her to avoid eye contact, I take hold of Dylan who holds out his arms to me.

"Molly, I really don't want your view of me to change because of my Dad's wealth. I just want to be a normal girl. Although this is the second time of us meeting, but I feel like that girl with you and your kids, and I don't want that to change." I settle Dylan properly on my hip, the way Molly has taught me and let Dylan play with my hair.

"So that explains why you showed up at my door this morning."

It's my time to nod and my cheeks heat up in embarrassment because I have never done what I did before and it's funny how I dpn't wanted her view of me to change. I like her kids, mostly Dylan and she isn't bad company herself.

"Was released yesterday by my kidnappers, and I'm practically avoiding everyone at home." I lie, because it's Max I'm avoiding. I don't know if I can hide my emotions when next I'd see him. Scared I'd make a total fool of my self for the first time for as long as I can remember. "And I don't feel the need to go to school. I just need to.."

"It's fine, Katherine." Molly interrupts me on sensing my distress and reach over to touch my shoulder. And when I level my gaze up to her. Her stunning brown eyes darkens with warmth and she throws me a genuine smile "Consider this your second home now, you're free to visit whenever you please."

I smile my gratitude towards her. Still holding Dylan with my right hand, I pick up an apple from the fruit basket and take a bite.

We suddenly hear unending loud crashes of things coming from the sitting room and Molly's eyes widens in their sockets.

We scan around the kitchen for James, but the kid had disappear. Our eyes meets and holds for a spilt second, and I gulp the chewed apple inside my mouth, knowing the person behind the sudden sitting room destruction.

"Fuck! James's at it again, only God knows what he's out destroying this time." She barely finishes, looking completely frazzle, before dashing out of the kitchen, muttering under her breath that the little scatterbrain will be the death of her.

I chuckle, take another bite of my apple and activate my phone on airplane mode, because of the text messages and calls trooping in from my friends.

I hear a sniff, and when I look over at Dylan. He has a giant scowl on his now red face.

"Hey Dy, what's wrong." I poke at the sides of his stomach, expecting him to laugh in return. But the scowl on his face only grows bigger and bigger as the clock ticks.

And then, he bursts into a fool volume of wails.

"OMFG." Facepalming, I carry him up. "Hey Molly, Dylan's acting all fussy." I yell and the sound of my voice only makes Dylan cry even harder.

"I think he's dirty, change him." She yells back, and I can hear more crashing of things and James chuckling and repeating 'fuck! after his mum.

Wondering how I can change the diaper of fussy Dylan because, I never have before, I hear Molly's threatening voice.

"Keep that back!"

"Don't wanna." This is James, being persistent.

"Damn, don't throw it out of the window, your Dad bought it before we had you."

"You'll deal with it."

And then I hear Molly's scream that strucks fear in the hearts of pigeons which hurriedly flies off to the other side of the street.

Meanwhile Dylan's wailing has grown worst, he is shrieking and kicking his fist into the air. Even pulls me hard by my hair that our screams fills the kitchen and I practically run into the bedroom with him, and gently place him on his crib.

How to change diapers. I type and hit send on Google and follow the instructions when the results arrive.

Grabbing the baby wipe and diaper, I take off his now wet diaper, dispose it into the trash bin, wipe his butt clean till it nearly sparkles with several wet baby wipes and help him change into a new diaper.

Changing a baby isn't so bad, it really isn't.

"Yay!" I whisper-yell and fist pump the air in victory, smiling down at a now cooing Dylan who has reduce the hurricane wails and is gnawing on my left thumb, with tiny chubby fingers wrap around my thumb.

I gulp out of amazement, wondering how something so tiny could make such a huge amount of noise.

"There, you did great."

I look up to a beaming Molly who has her hand over James's mouth, that his screams sounds muffled through her hand. The poor kid is shoved under her armpit with his feet kicking into the air.

* * *

"Don't listen to him, anyone can miss you!" I yell, throwing a popcorn at the TV screen, from where I lay on the couch, so wishing it's the dumb girl in the movie the popcorn hit and not the TV screen. While Molly looks up from where she is nursing Dylan, and chuckles. We are watching a movie where a girl's heart has been broken one too many times by her sick fuck of boyfriend. Currently, he just showed up after ditching her behind for two months, claiming to miss her and caressing her cheek, which she stupidly gave him access to stroke, all in the name of fucking love.

Urgh! I groan, my hatred for romantic movies swelling to another level.

We hear a knock on the door and Molly tes James to go check who is at the door.

"Uh mummy, there's a very tall guy at our doorstep, in black like Dracula." James pops his head back into the house to informs us. "I don't like him, should I tell him to go away?"

"Ask him what he wants."Molly instructs and James nods, pops his head out back, with small grip tightening protectively at the door.

"Said he's sposed' to see Kat-." He pauses and I sit up right at this, while we overhear him asking the stranger to pronounce the name again. "Kate-ring." He pops his head back into the house.

"Are you expecting anyone?" Molly asks me as she lays a sleeping Dylan on the couch.

"No?" My answer only came out like a question because I'm wondering who is looking for me, who even knew where I'm.

"Go see who it is." Then to her son, she says. "James honey, get away from the door."

And when I make my way out and shut the door behind me, I hear a shaky sharp intake of breath.

"There you are."

The three words that emerge from the deep voice makes me freeze on my tracks.

I gulp as heat descends on my cheeks and look up to the face I've been dying to see, yet avoiding.

My eyes takes in those green eyes that always holds contempt in them when they landed on me, but today, they hold something that is indescribable, something words can never measure up with.

His nose looks like it has been broken too many times these few days, while his lips are slightly apart. There are too many bruises on his face. And I have this sudden urge to poke on the dimple on his chin.

He is putting on black upon black. Black cap, black hoodie, black ripped jeans and black boots.

Inspite of the several bruises on his face, he still manages to look so good. I know I'm crazy because the bruises makes him even more attractive to me.

"Katherine." He whispers.

And that's all it takes for my breath to hitch in my throat, because seeing him and hearing my name on his mouth makes me realized I've missed him more than I ever thought.

How did he find me? How did he know I'm here.

"What do you want?" I ask trying to sound mean as I can, so he won't notice the effect he has on me.

"You, I want you."

I shake my head at him in disapproval.

"You're crazy." I retort, hold the door open, step into the house, and attempt to shut the door at his face when he holds the door and tightens his grip on it.

"We need to talk." He leaves the door, not wanting to seem like an intruder in someone's home. Shoving his hands in his pockets, he stares around him, wondering what I'm doing in such inferior environment. Then snaps his eyes back at me, taking in careful details of my every move.

"There's nothing to discuss with you."

"Please." His eyes and voice pleads while I hold the door, ignoring my stupid heart that is tugging me to stay because he just said the word 'Please' for the first time. It's unbelievable how just a word can make me feel needed.

"Get out." With that, I shove him away with all my strength, shut the door and lean my back against it and let out a loud exhale. Glad Molly os not in the sitting room to have witnessed all the drama that had unfold itself.

I can't forgive him.

Max is my bully, my enemy. And he deserves more beatings and bruises, yet I can't help but feel remorseful over the fights and beatings he's experience.

It doesn't make sense, I'm not supposed to let myself fall for him. He isn't someone I can be with and he is my step brother.

But why is my stupid heart feeling guilty that I yelled at him, and shut the door at his face? He punched me, how could a sane male hit a female?

He body shamed me, told me I have masculine body with huge fake boobs.

I'm suppose to hate him.

But my heart..

My stupid heart want him despite everything.

What is so special about Max that creates this strong reaction within my whole being?

Why Maxwell Leornado Mackenzie of all people?

Because life isn't fair and shit happens. My subconscious replies the question.

And right now, my wayward heart is telling me to open the door and go to him.

"Hearing what he has to say wouldn't hurt." I mutter under my breath, following my heart and fling the door open to see him sitted on the stairs with his back facing the door.

My heart makes a happy leap in my chest, and my steps falters because he had stayed.

He had stayed.

He turns around at the sound of the door shutting.

His adam apple bobs up when he sees me and he says. "I'm sorry."

"You should be." I snort and cross my arms over my chest.

"I'm fucking so sorry, for every damn thing I did you. It's something that haunts me, even in my dreams. I'm really sorry, for the terrible fucked up things I've said to you. The punch. My mom's going to kill me if she learnt I hit a female, cause she's always taught us to be gentle men... I'm really fucking so sorry Kate. I'm a monster." And then he buries his face in his palms and looks up at me few moments later with his eyes glassy with tears. "I know it's not wise to leave my self so open, but all the rules get broken in your eyes. I've always wanted you right from the day I saw your pictures. Yeah, mom came home one day and announced she was engaged to your dad, her boss.

We were all so angry at home because we were still grieving our late Dad. They spilted because Dad left her to be with his first love. And when he realized his mistakes and was on his way from London to come apologise, he died in a plane crash."

He pause, sniff and rub his palms on his knees at this and I feel my throat tighten with emotions. I move till I'm sitting side by side with him on the stairs and place my hand gently on his shoulder, because I'm feeling sorry for him.

He buries his face on the crook of my neck and holds me tighter to him. Causing my heart to somersault in my chest, creating bittersweet sensations on the pit of my stomach.

"So," He continues. "When Mom broke the news, I searched your Dad on the internet and saw you too. Then I clicked on your pictures and continued scrolling, unable to stop myself because of the great attraction I felt towards you. I tried to deny my feelings for you by being so cruel to you, but it changed nothing. I know I'm a shitty person and I've done so much shit to you. But I always ended up feeling like a monster after everything and hate myself, and then hate you, because you made me feel things I didn't wanted to feel... I tried, God know I tried to erase you off my mind. I did a lot of shit, fucked random girls, hit the gym steady and punched on my ugly punching bag to get you off my mind. But I couldn't."

I'm already hugging Max at this, and he is hugging me back, so tight that I don't know what next to do. If I should pull away from the hug or get up and leave again. He is so big, warm and hard next to me.

"And when I heard about your kidnap, I knew it was stupid, but I was scared I wouldn't see you anymore."

I bite my lip to fight back the stupid tears that are threatening to spill and curl my fingers into a damn fist.

"What about the letters, why did you kissed me at Cliton's party?" I feel a flutter in my heart when I remember the kisses.

"I did wrote the letters when I couldn't help myself with my feelings towards you. I knew I could never summon up the courage to say it to your face. And the kiss, you were getting under my skin on that faithful day. You were so beautiful, and every guy wanted you. But you failed to take notice of them, didn't even looked at them or noticed they existed." His lips twitches into a tiny radiant smile and he lifts his sharp green eyes up to meet mine. "And your dance moves, sexy as hell."

With my cheeks heating up in embarrassment, I tear my gaze away from his so he'd won't see how red the sudden development of the redness across my cheeks.

"I don't know how the fuck to start telling you how beautiful you are and have always been. Knowing how I've treated you, my compliments would sound like insults towards you. But, I want you...I want you, Kate. I know it's selfish of me to want you this way, but I can't seem to stop." His fingers finds my wrist, and he places gentle soft kisses on my open palm. It's insane how that little action generates goose bumps on my skin and makes me shudder violently with want and longing for him.

"No," Gulping down my nervousness, I yank my hand away from his hold. "This doesn't feel right, we're step siblings, my dad is married to your mom. We should avoid eachother at all cost."

"And deny the great attraction we feel towards each other?"

"I'm not attracted to you." I lie and gulp, wanting to pinch on my arm, to see if it's a dream that I and Max are having a normal conversation. Having this conversation.

"Then why did you kiss me back?"

"B-because I thought you were some random guy." I stammer. "I wouldn't have kissed you back if I knew it was you."

"Yeah, right." And he smacks his lips against mine before I can say anything.

I give him access to my mouth and let our lips dance together. My hands finds his shoulders while his binds my waist, as he feasts on my mouth, like a beast devouring it's meal.

I pull away, knowing I'm going to regret the words I'm about to say.

"Promise if we do this, no one would know."

He nods and breaths out with a hoarse voice. "I promise."

"I still haven't forgiven you, Max. Maybe I would some day, but not today." There is hunger I'm feeling for him, right now inside of me. And I capture his lips with mine this time and kiss him hard.

His lips feels incredible, and I mediate what on Earth I have been doing with my life before.

We kiss again, again, and again. Each not getting tired of the other until we hear a dog's bark.

"Get a room you kids." We snap our eyes over at the old greying hair man with a Chihuahua. "And that's inappropriate young man. When I was your age, I'd take a girl on a date first, then take her home to properly seduce her to kick in the hot streaming romance with scented candles. Kids of this generation." He huffs, shakes his head in disapproval at us and carries on walking, while we burst out laughing.

We stop laughing the same time and stare at each other.

"This feels surreal." He murmurs, wrapping an arm around me and pulls me tightly towards himself.

And I suddenly have this tugging feeling I'm going to regret this day, when it all started.