28. Starting point of an ending

Playlist for this chapter;

See You Again - Charlie Putt,

Supermarket Flowers - Ed Sheeran (It suits Steve Jones, Katherine and even the McKenzie siblings song for mourning Nana Jones)

I Have A Dream - Westlife,

Hostage - Sia.

-

Below is the funeral poem I wrote for Nana Jones

'Will Be'

There will be shedding of tears because she's gone

Eyes will close, hoping when they reopen, her death will be just an illusion

But then, eyes won't be closed shut for a long time, so there will be reopening of eyes, to see and accept the fate that she's gone and never coming back

Lips will tremble, with sudden emptiness of the spots that was reserved for her in hearts

There will be loud exhaling of breaths, from the nostrils of those who fought and won the urge of remembering her with sadness and tears, but chose to have flash backs of her laughter and all that she's shared with them throughout the years

And tiny, sad, heart clenching smiles will tilt at the corners of mouths, as a signification that she's gone, and she's find a better place of rest, where she will be.

Often times, I wonder if death is just a big sleep away with total blankness, shutting out everything.

-

-

THE DAY OF NANA Jones's funeral is a bright and sunny summer day. The sky is profoundly blue, with touches and ample sizes of white. The gush of wind that steadily blows the dried dead oak tree flowers on the ground, hits my hair through the car window, making my blonde locks flicker over my face.

I haven't shed a single tear since Nana Jones death, a week ago.

What's the point of crying and wailing when she's never coming back?

I'm putting on a black short lace gown and my favourite black boots, because I see no point in dressing up for a fucking funeral.

My hair is down, and Evans jacket that I had borrowed earlier this morning is currently wrapped around me and its really ill fitting. Unlike his brother's.

Nana Jones died of sudden stroke and heart attack as a result Cardiovascular disease. She was all stone cold stiff when she was found dead inside her house.

She knew she had heart disease but never told Dad or me. She kept it away from us all. Never made us aware of any of her problems.

I exhale loudly and facepalm. Awaiting the tears to come, but they don't.

I always did fought and lost the urge to cry, still.

The low sound of Charlie Putt's 'See You Again' starts blaring from the speakers and it gets turned high, that I can make out the lyrics of the song.

I can't believe how selfish I've been.

A wave of sudden pain hits me because I never cared to ask Nana Jones about how she was faring. I though she was fine because she looked that way to me. I never expected her death to happen so sudden.

I look at the body guard driving me to the church, as the soothing voice of Charlie Putt sings '-tell you all about it, when I see you again' as if mirroring my current mood.

"Stop that fucking song!" I yell at him the moment he starts whistling along with Charlie Putt's voice.

"Sorry, Miss Jones." He apologizes, callouse fingers reaching over to turn the music off.

John, his name is John. Dad hired him to be my personal bodyguard and driver after having me grounded for as long as possible.

I guess you know why.

I'm not allowed to meet with any of the McKenzie siblings ever since I sort of eloped with their eldest brother, Maxwell McKenzie.

The one who's in love with me.

Back to John McCormick. He's in his mid twenties. Tall, lean, agressively cropped short brown hair and a tight jaw. Quite cute when he flashes one of those his rare smiles. Something I'm the only one allowed to see. But when Dad or anyone is present, his lips are steadily on a thin grim line. His eyes are black and seem to know too much, to read me whenever they land on me.

He does his job well. Ensures that Max doesn't come six feet near me, or I him.

The car wounds itss was pass few houses, a restaurant, and pass through a open giant gate, before pulling up in front of the Catholic church. I discern a few people had already arrived from the few cars packed outside

Silence hang around in the car, as I remain sitted on the backseat of the car, contemplating if I move out, I'd regret it.

"Miss Jones, should I help you out of the car, or you wanna stay in a few minutes longer." John still has his hands on the stirring wheel, but his eyes gives me a cool look through the rear view mirror infront of him.

I don't answer but stare out the car window and watch Dad's convoy arrive. People starts arriving from the village as well, and I can see few kids hovering around the working nuns, asking if they could help with anything.

The smell of cigarette hits my nostrils, and when I snap my head away from the window to John, I see him smoking.

"You know I can tell my Dad to fire you for this." I say quietly.

"I know, Miss Jones. It wouldn't be my first time getting fired."

I watch him drag in the cigarette and exhales the smoke.

I stare thoughtfully into the air.

"You're my body guard, so I'm your boss too. And you'll obey whatever I tell you to do, right?"

He turns his head back at me, and nods. "Except getting intimate with you, or letting your step brother, the cute boy come six feet near you."

I brush his words away with a wave of my hand.

"Just hand me the damn cigarette."

And he stares at me incredulously.

"That I cannot do, Miss Jones. Your Dad would have me fired if he finds out I gave you a cigarette."

"And it wouldn't be your first time getting fired." I remind him of what he had told me two minute ago. "It'd be worst if I tell him you had the audacity to smoke infront of me."

He frowns at the thought of me black mailing him for a split second, then reluctantly hands me the cigarette.

I shut my eyes the moment I place the cigarette on my slightly apart lips and take a drag.

I try not to heave as my insides heats up with smoke. A bile rises in my throat as my vision gets slightly dizzy from panic, and I exhale the smoke.

It feels good, drives all the shitty thoughts down the memory lane for a split moment, and relaxes me a bit.

And I chuckle when John mutters, "I'm so getting fired." under his breath, and face palms.

* * *

Nana Jones was a devoted Catholic, so Dad agreed on performing a Catholic funeral for her.

We; Dad, me, Doris and the Mckenzie siblings are sitted in the front pew as we await the priest.

Dad frowns and sniffs around him as the smell of cigarettes from me, hits his nostrils, because I'm at his side. But he has no clue it's me, that I was smoking before I reluctantly let John help me out of the car, and into the church. It was all an act, so there wouldn't be any suspicion.

I bite my buttom lip as pain slits through my chest when I let my memory lane play the part where Nana Jones forced us to put on those outdated clothes to come here.

The Mckenzie siblings are already starting at the picture we all took together with her.

There is greeting from the priest at first when everyone is all sitted.

What follows next is the procession of the priest, and we are all ordered to stand up before the priest sprinkles Holy water on Nana Jones's coffin during the procession.

After that, there is opening song, prayers, and Holy Communion that I and the rest non-catholic don't partake in.

After more prayer, the coffin is taken down the aisle and out of the church.

Right now, I'm at the graveyard with John, and I watch as several cars pulls up, and few of Dad's distant relatives, friends, and workers hops out of their cars and shut their doors.

Everyone is putting on funeral black.

I feel a flutter in my chest when my eyes spots all the Mckenzie siblings. The girls are putting on black gowns and hats, while the boys are clad in black suits.

Max is the only one who isn't putting on a tie, and he wore his black boots instead of black neatly polished shoes like his brothers. His suit is really tight fitted. His black blazer is unbottoned, and his left hand disappears into his pants pocket as he clenches and unclenches his fist, ticking his jaw.

It's the first time I'm seeing him in a suit, and he looks more grown up than I'm used to.

Margaret, Veronica and few kids from our school arrives in a bus, and Clinton Gabe also hops out from his car, dressed in a black suit as well, and he makes his way over to the McKenzie siblings. I can see his eyes lingering more than it should on Sarah who looks sick. She's been sick these few days. Always ditching class without permission, and barfing nonstop at home. She's reduced weight, and currently looks like she wants to let out the contents of her stomach.

There is a tall unknown boy wrapping Doris in a hug, and Doris kisses him on his cheeks.

Miranda spots the boy, and pales as he takes steps towards her, never looking at anywhere but her and he exhales. While the McKenzie siblings exchanges knowing looks.

At this, I discern with more than a little amazement, that the boy is Leo. Miranda's ex boyfriend.

I gulp and look away to my friends that are holding their arms out to me, because I'm feeling guilty over what I did to Miranda. I complete the group hug. Although I don't need a hug because Nana Jones wouldn't like us all going teary eyed and sad because she's gone. I can even hear her voice in my head, warning me not to let a single drop of tear down, or she is going to whack me on my back. My lips almost twitch into a smile.

A black car and hearse pulls up few meters away from the cemetery. Dad and few unrecognizable men hops out from the car.

We all watch as the men clad in black suits and white hand gloves pulls out the coffin from the back of the hearse, and carries the coffin by it's handle, pulls it up, and carries it for the short walk to Nana Jones supposed graveside.

My friends and bodyguard stands at my side, and everyone present watch as the coffin is lowered to the ground by the men. And they step away once Nana Jones is laid the ground, next to Papa Jones.

The priest did the graveside service, the choristers sang few farewell hymns and Dad was invited to give a speech.

"I'm glad you all came here. And I want to thank you all for coming." Dad begins speaking, giving everyone a fake smile. "Nana Jones was a beautiful woman. Kind, generous, and mischievous according to my daughter Katherine."

Everyone laughs at this, but my own mouth hold tightly together.

"She grew old, but her wittiness still appeared youthful. She.. she.." There is a pause and a small sniff from Dad. "Oh God, I can't believe this is happening." I hurriedly direct my eyes to him, he is grabbing a tissue from his pocket to wipe his face and blow his nose.

He blows his nose loudly, and tears from his eyes drips and settles into the tissue.

People stare at him with pity.

I take a hard dry gulp because I hate this.

I hate what is happening and I hate pity.

It's not like Dad wants their pity.

Its all up to me now, not to make Dad disgrace himself more. And I'm practically the man between me and him here, since I'm not shedding tears.

I exhale deeply and walk up to him, whisper in his ear not to worry, that I'd take on everything from where he stopped.

"We all know Nana Jones would be mad to see us all sad that she's gone." I start speaking before Dad can make any protest. And I'm glad when Doris and Evans leads him away. Evans is bulgy and Dad looks quite small next to him. And Evans wraps Dad's hand around his neck, and Doris places her hand at his back, comforting him. "She was strong, stubborn and was a fighter. She never made us aware of any of her problems. She hated seeing worry on our faces because of her."

People nod and smile at this, and I regret the moment I give access to my wayward eyes to wander over to Max.

The yearning, hunger and desperation in his eyes makes me want to vomit, like his sister is doing right now, with Miranda stroking her back to where she was escorted.

I can feel several eyes watching my every move. So it'd be stupid to let them see me getting affected by a boy, at this point. So I don't even bat my eyes as I continue.

"So, instead of crying and feeling sad that she's gone, why not smile and be happy that she's not alone anymore and she's find a better place of rest with Papa Jones? Why don't we store the memory of her throaty laughter, her smile that was still beautiful despite the wrinkles on her face, her eyes that always filled up with warmth whenever she was happy. Why not remember all that we've shared with her throughout these years and win against the urge to shed tears?"

The boy, Leo, takes Miranda's hand into his, squeezes it lightly, and leans in to kiss her hair as she sobs lightly into his chest.

A tear slips down Sam's cheek, and Hank that he's holding, makes a low sad sound as he stares down at Nana Jones's coffin.

"And just because Nana Jones's death was painful, doesn't mean it wasn't her time." I pause, swallowing and blinking away the tears that are threatening to outcome. I have to stop right now because talking about her like this doesn't help at all. So I turn to Sam, about to say what I never intend to.

"Sam, can you do me a little favour of singing the solo of any Westlife song? Nana Jones was a huge fan of them? It'd be a goodbye song."

And Sam who prefers the ground to open up and consume him, rather than singing in front of hundreds of people, unknowingly widens his eyes at this.

Ver quietly starts humming 'I Have A Dream by Westlife, and few people joins her.

Sam looks at his mum, and she gives him a go ahead nods.

He stays silent for some seconds, and just as my subconscious starts telling me he won't sing, he closes his eyes, exhales and starts.

I have a dream, a song to sing.

To help me cope, with anything.

If you see the wonder, of a fairy tale

You can take the future, even if you fail

(With his eyes still closed, he raises his head up high as he sings this part)

I believe in angels

something good in everything I see

(And Ver turns her hum slightly high)

I believe in angels

When I know the time is right for me

I'll cross the street

I have a dream

He is so beautiful as he sings, causing several emotions of sadness, pain and happiness resonate out of him, spreading widely and rapidly across the entourage. Him singing like this accompanied by no musical instruments but just the constant humming by few people, makes his own version of the song perfect.

I believe in angels,

something good in everything I see

I believe in angels,

when I know the time is right for me

I'll cross the street

I have a dream

I have a dream

a song to sing

His voice starts falling apart, because he is crying as he sings. But inspite of this, his melody of the song is loud and clear.

The people who aren't crying or blowing their noses into tissues, as Sam sings, are too occupied marveling at his beautiful voice.

"Good Heavens, kid's gifted."

"It's clear the lad will go to places."

"Oh, bless his heart. He's so sweet."

"Exceptional for his age."

Three old women around Nana Jones's age are whispering behind me, and I smile because they're right. Sam's fragrance and personality is extraordinarily endowed with his talent.

The song finally comes to an end, leaving people breathless and in tears.

Sarah runs away again to vomit, with her hand clamp tightly on her mouth, and Clinton trails after her.

They need to take her to the hospital, because this constant barfing is getting out hand, making her look like a pale coloured needle.

Dad mouths 'I am proud of you' when I look at him and I give him a tiny smile. Sam goes over to his mum and hugs her, before moving to hug Dad.

Max has tears wells up in his now red eyes, and he has the look of breakdown on his face, as he shoves his hand in his pocket. He looks furious, like he's about to punch on something, or someone.

I can feel his pain, because out of all the Mckenzie siblings, he loved Nana Jones mostly.

* * *

People shook hands with Dad, patted on his back and even hugged him as they left for their respective homes until the crowd reduced itself to half a quarter of it's previous amount.

"Fuck!" Max's voice slices through me, and when I quickly look from my friends I'm having a conversation with to him, his face is in a deep red I can only describe as anger.

And before my brain can process anything, Max connects his fist to Clinton's jaw and his boot collides with Clinton's face when Clinton falls to the ground.

Few men and boys that are present rush to interfere, while Sarah is crying as he holds on her brother who is rendering several punches on his best friend's face.

What the hell is going on?

I push myself away from my friends and start walking to where the little crowd had gathered, and I see John following me.

"You were my friend! How could you smash my little sister behind my back, fucking disposed your STD sperm inside her and got her fucking pregnant! Fuck!" Max screams connecting his fist with Clinton's face that something cracks.

We all gasp, and Doris slowly looks at her daughter with shock and unbelief building up in her face.

No wonder Clinton acted that way during the match, no wonder his eyes always lingers on Sarah. Fuck! Now I get why Sarah's been barfing non-stop

"You couldn't wait to get her laid, could you? That's the main reason you sticked your ass around."

"It was just one fling. We were both drunk." Clinton chokes out as Max tightens the grip on his neck, making his face turns from red to purple. People are already trying to restrain Max from hitting on Clinton, but he's stronger than all of them.

"Shut your fucking gob. You shouldn't have touched her knowing she's my little sister. You fucking squalid pussy." He punches Clinton with all his strength.

"Holy shite, he's going to kill him." Sarah shrieks, already on the ground where Max had unknowingly shove her to.

"He should, or if he doesn't, I fucking will." Evans bares his teeth as he contributes his own punch on Clinton's face."

"Stop them, please!" Doris yells, gathering her long black gown into her hands as she leaves Dad and runs towards her sons. She's barefooted.

And Dad orders John, and few of our body guards to separate the two boys away from the bloodied boy on the floor.

My stomach twirls and sinks.

They finally pull Max and Evans away from Clinton who looks like he just fainted. And Sarah grabs hold of Clinton shirt as she sobs on his chest.

The winds starts gushing and dark clouds suddenly starts obstructing the sun. It seems like there wants to be an heavy downpour of rain.

"Let go, this wanker deserves death." Max tries to break free from the grips on him, but the more he struggles, the more they tighten their hands on him.

Sam is still shocked that his immediate elder sister is pregnant, even Miranda, her boyfriend Leo. Everyone present is.

I huff out impatiently, flick my hair away from my face, and tuck it behind my ear.

"Enough!"

Max stops struggling at the sound of my voice and looks at me.

"Kate," He quietly says, the fire and storm in his eyes deflating.

Before anyone can utter any word, I dash towards him and hug him. Hug him to calm his demons, to let them go back to where he caged them before they escaped.

"Please, he needs to calm down." I beg Dad when he signals John to take me away from Max.

Doris who looks like she has been crying, nods at Dad, and Dad stays silent for sometime, exchanging glares with Max who is behind me. Then he turns his back to us all and starts heading to his car.

Thunder groans loudly in the sky like an enraged giant.

I take that as a clue that Dad has allowed me to be with Max just for today, because of what just happened, and yank my hand free from John's hold.

"Miss Jones." John's calls out to me as I pull Max with me to where he had packed his bike, but I don't listen to him, even though his voice has a slight warning.

Everyone is staring at us as Max climbs on his bike, and I join him, wrapping my hands around his hard waist.

He steps on the brakes, and starts driving away from the cemetery. Leaving a cloud of smoke behind as it generates an ugly noise.

Another thunder claps loudly, causing the harsh breeze to haul down the leaves of trees, and makes the road to go slippery, due to the covering of the light drizzle.

"Where do you want us to go?" He asks with his eyes on the road as he drives carefully.

"Anywhere but this shitty place." I respond, resting my head on his back.

The rain takes that as a cue to start hurtling down, dumping ponderous droplets of water on us, that it jerks us along with the bike on the highway.

"Stop the bike, let's wait somewhere till it stops raining." I scream through the rain so he can hear me. We're all drenched now, with our hair plastered to our heads, and clothed clinged to our body.

"Can't, I can barely see." Max yells back as we keep shaking.

My stomach starts twirling and sinking with uneasiness.

"Shit!" I hiss, but my voice gets lost in the storm.

The red glare flashlights of a van starts speeding towards our direction, and Max manages to swerve to avoid the van as it rushes towards us, without slowing down."

"Fuck, fuck, fuck." He curses as the rain beats us heavily.

It all happens in a swift motion when we collide into a moving vehicle we hadn't see. And I can feel my body flying away from the bike and Max, as everything suddenly goes blank.