Dying Thoughts

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• The Fabulous Flaming Moose    A Surprise

  "Surprise!!"Yes it is!My teammates are here, my competitors ,we are friendly and leave it on the track so there they are smiling holding balloons and banners, a welcome home party, burgers and hot dogs, chips, punch, lots of party food.A table seems to be set up, with some snack food and a drink, Tony wheels me over to it, the girls bring me over a plate with a hot dog and hamburger on it, then dad brings over some toppings, Tony buts a plastic king crown on my head. Feels like one of those birthday parties at a burger place when a kid.A party for me, my mood is lifted, even a simple hot dog tasted like the best in the world, thankful chewing was no longer a point of pain that I would just tear though it, now I was painlessly enjoying a cheese burger, topped the way I like it and full of flavor and yes it is so delicious, I do feel like a king.Some arrived late but come to my table and offer the greetings of get well soon, some gave me cards,

• The Fabulous Flaming Moose    Home Again

  After what felt like a very long slow three months, I am finally able to go home.It took a lot of paper work and some house preparation from Dad and Tony, I was told by Tony his girls did a very good job, soon I will see for myself. A real family affair as Tony and his crew have been living with Dad since moving back home, I am looking forward to it, feels like it will help with the rest of the healing journey.For a few days Tony has talked about adding chair lifts on the stairs, it has a space to fold the wheelchair and when not used fold out of the way for stair use, he is proud of how he helped Dad get this done, how it's his part in getting me home, it's deeply appreciated."Your nieces did a test drive of how smooth a ride it will be, it's slow but safe, prepared your room with a lift, this way you can get yourself out of bed and into the chair. My girls are helping for uncle to come home, they have many hugs to g

• The Fabulous Flaming Moose    Physio Therapy

  Another month come and gone since my accident, a month in a coma and a month out. One of the best things is I am now eating solid food, it started with the shake and soup, moved up to mashed then solid food, at first it hurt a little and I had to get used to chewing again but I am happy to be eating and no longer having a feeding tube.I over heard that some physio will begin, got me a little excited, before the crash I enjoyed working out, felt being fit helped me be a better driver, who knows maybe I can impress a few nurses. No really this is exciting news as up until now it was only on my right arm and now it will include a bit more.I almost rushed my breakfast as my casts are to come off today, the left leg is the slowest to heal and isn't exactly ready but everything is, no small linger breaks, so to be clear in my rushing thoughts is left leg stays in the cat but my left leg comes out of the cast today, so I wanted to rush through br

• The Fabulous Flaming Moose    Waiting For Results

  "No test results Moose, but I am speaking with the doctor about trying some soup, may not be hot and be with a straw but it's a good step, think you can tell me ok?" should I cry or laugh? soup with a straw, oh boy, must be really broken if I am really all the way back to baby steps like this but "OO..KK..TH...a..n..k.s!" I feel her rub my hand "in the mean time Moose I hope your not shy, as it's sponge bath time, if your ok with it I will even turn the music up" I like that idea " Ye..ss, PPLe..ase.., Fl..or..re..nce." she gives my hand a squeeze, "see , your making head way, that was a little less shaky not as raw as it has been" she closes the door and turns the music up, I notice a smile but really can't seem to make out more then that, I never really wanted to know eye colors or really notice lipstick, but now I wish I could see those details and not just blurry images.I notice the warmth of the water as she begins to wash my neck and arm, I close my eyes

• The Fabulous Flaming Moose    Testing Time

  I drank another cup of full water and then slept the rest of the night. morning came Florence back on shift, awake when she entered, started with a weak 'hi.." "Good job Moose" she dropped the sir, is she having a bad day already? "have your morning eye drops and cup of water" i don't know but I think I smiled as i replied "ok", "nice job moose, soon we won't be able to get you to stop talking, and yes it's a joke, we need you to tell us things" maybe dropping sir and just calling me moose is her way of flirting? Wait should i be thinking that?I swear I hear dad and Florence just outside the room door, "You're looking a lot better today son!" Why do i feel like I missed him when I know he has been here. 'heard you have been more awake, and making head way in talking too, that's great news son" let's seeA full half day awake, head way, however before lunch i was given my pain meds, still iv dip and took what i feel was a two hour nap, could be less, could be mor

• The Fabulous Flaming Moose    Awakening To Alert

  I guess the rest will continue to be be a very slow recovery process, like baby steps, my mind trying to prepare for this like a mantra for race day, from being fast to a stop like a red flagged race, to a crawl like extra caution laps for a drying track, yet here I go again, drifting back off to sleep, I guess flat lining takes it's toll on the body and mind, I feel truly shocked at how tired I am, but I guess rest is the key to healing. This time I am gentle on myself and let myself fall asleep instead of trying to fight it so much.Awakened to a nurse putting drops in my eyes, it's so bright I am not even sure this is still ICU were they had kept it dim for me. "Good morning sir", says the nurse, as I try to bring my eyes into focus, to look at who is speaking, or at least that direction, "I have some throat spray for you sir, we'd like to see if it can help get you at least talking and on your way to eating."Food and drink would be nice, " plea