A Telling Off

"Well, I suppose all that's left to grumble about is, that my hand makes me now look like some kind of parole violating eidjit, for going through the security systems at the airport" I smirk as Sorley finishes wrapping my hand to hide the evidence from Mum and Dad.

"Yeah, let's just hope Dad, believes you fell and doesn't demand to see your hand properly. Especially after he sees that door." Sorley replies.

"Hmm.  Although," I say optimistically, " he has always hated that red door, so hopefully he will be happy it needs replaced now?" I am totally grasping at straws here. Which I am aware but still. Fingers crossed right?

"Yeah, let's just hope he buys what ever cock and bull story Oliver dishes out. At least hes completely over a barrel on that score."Sorley  muses. "Just make sure, wherever you are on the estate either I am with you or Tip is ok?!" 

"I will. But I dont think I need to  because believe me, I would love to have an excuse to kick his scrawny ass so much he wouldn't be able to eat without a straw for a while." My sadistic side enjoys the thought of torturing Oliver. I am definitely a hold a grudge, hell hath no fury kind of girl I think.

"All the same Dee, just be careful."Sorley replies 

"Awww, shucks." I coo at my big brother. "Sorley, you  big softie I never knew you cared. My big protector brother man"

"Damn straight, little sister. It was how I was raised, and dont you bloody forget it!" He laughs at me, as he clears up  the first aid gear lying on the table.

"And, what pray tell do you need protecting from young lady"asks Dad as he rounds the corner entering the kitchen.

Jeez, that man can creep, no wonder he is good at stalking deer on the hill, I didn't even hear him come in. 

"Ha," I reply,  trying to stifle my shock. Waving my wrapped hand I continue "well myself mostly Dad, I am known for my occasional bouts of clumsiness afterall. But if you keep that up, potentially from the heart attack I may recieve from your silent feet. I mean where did you even come from?" I laugh awkwardly.

"What happened?" He asks narrowing his eyes at me, concern etched on his face.

God I hate it when he worries.

"Nothing to worry about. I just fell on the hill Dad. Landed awkwardly on my hand. Sorley has ever so kindly taken care of me." I say, hoping he will buy it.

"Do I look like my head buttons up the back Dee?" He scowls.at me

"What?" I ask in shock.

Dad never normally questions this kind of thing

"I raised you young lady, both of you."he starts 

Oh crap hes dragging Sorley onto this, and Sorley can only lie by omission, and even then hes not great at it. Any out right lie and he is as transparent as a greenhouse.  

Before I can say anything he sits down at the table and continues " One. - You two never concede to fussing each others injuries if they are minor."

Crap 

"Two- Oliver arrived today and though you two used to be inseparable friends" dad says as I shiver in disgust at that remark" you now for some reason, I am not privy to wont be in the same room as him or even the same area on the estate. If that's not enough I know about Sorley kicking the crap out of him some years ago as well, though what concerns me is why it was never mentioned or taken further with the police. Not that I'm not relieved on that score however, but still it is extremely out of the character that boy has shown himself to have since that incident.

 Which brings me to point number three- There is a fist sized hole in my larder door, red splinters on my kitchen floor that you missed while quickly tidying away the rubbish off the table when I came I  Sorley. And how could I forget my daughter has the worst temper and shortest fuse of any woman i have ever met." He finishes and crosses his arms staring both of us down.

Sorley's face is bright red and hes staring at the floor. Shit, hes a lost cause. I dont know quite what to say to that. I go to open my mouth when Dad raises a hand to stop me. Wow I feel like I am thirteen again here. There are only two men that can give me a dressing down in this world when its needed without raising my anger and my Dad is definitely one of them.

"Look, as you said at least I will be finally rid of that hideous red door. If you dont want to let me know more i wont force you. You are both adults and i trust your judgement, but do not under any circumstances attempt to treat me or your mother like fools. Do you understand?!" He says.

I heave a big sigh and respond "yes Dad. And, I am sorry that wasn't our intention at all" I admit to him.

"Well then I suggest in future you make sure your brother firstly, remembers to hide the evidence properly, I mean come on Sorley"he laughs, "you ar a blooming chef and your spilling everything on the floor. Do you do that at work?"he laughs at Sorley shaking his head.

"Oh come on, I did my best, you said it I'm a chef not a bloody first responder." Sorley pouts

"Look lad, you also could do with learning to lie a bit, no wonder you cant keep a lass by your side!"

"Oh come on Dad, that's not fair" Sorley moans dejected.

"Dad," I ask "what exactly am I missing, and why does Sorley need to lie to women?" This just took an interesting track i think.

"Oh come on Dad, now theres no need to bring this up" begs Sorley. 

But to no avail as Dad interjected "Well Dee, you will remember Claire Stanhope from school?" He asks

"I nod my head, " yeah, she went to Uni, in Edinburgh to become a lawyer. Pretty lass, and clever. Well above Sorley's league" 

"Gee, thanks sis, next time you can remove your own splinters" he laughs shaking his head, with a slight pink tinge rising in his cheeks.

"Well, "Dad continues " Claire, came back to visit her folks last summer, and got chatting g to a certain chef here online. They became quite friendly and when she came home they agreed to go on a date. So, the boy diligently prepares a slap up meal, spend an age getting himself ready, and heads off to meet her by the harbour. "

Dad pauses with a smile, and Sorley is already mortified I can tell. 

"Sorley what did you do to her" I ask

Dad is openly laughing at my dumbfounded brother who is standing shaking his bowed head, while refusing to meet my eye.

"Well Dee, " Dad resumes ' Claire it seems within the confounds of the city, didn't find much time to exercise. So she had gotten a bit plump."

"Oh god, no." I look at Sorley knowing his brain to mouth filter is about as useful as my temper tantrum control panel. Pretty non existent. 

"His first words on a harbour full of people including Sally from the shop, who loves a good gossip was....go on son you fill her in" Dad suggests.

"If you dont I will just go ask Sally you know" I say knowing he is hesitant, but that we both know how Sally would love to tell me and that would just revive the whole incident.

"I said ' crap, I didn't know you were eating for two, I would have prepared more food' "  said Sorley shaking his head.

"Sorley! You ass hat!! Why would you say that? It's cruel." I yell at him trying not to.laugh at his awkwardness and his rightful shame and embarrassment 

At this point Dad, never one for folk who are politically correct burst out in guffaws of laughter. Slamming his hand on the table as he tries to control his glee.

"I will have you know I did apologise, and she did forgive me, and we dated while she was home. But it fizzled out when she returned to Edinburgh. I didn't mean it. It just sort of came out." Said Sorley pitifully.

"Its ok big brother I know you have a big heart to compensate for your tiny brain " I laugh at him.

After everyone's laughter stops Dad turns to me and looks me up and down and says "I suppose you are going to use needing a shower as an excuse to get out of peeling the tatties. I mean look at the state of you" he smirks, obviously meaning it's my turn for a roasting. "Its bad enough you bring my dog back the colour of sin, but look at you, traipsing that muck through the clean house"

I laugh and reply "oh settle down Dad, I doubt you would even know how to fill the bucket to mop the floor, or even where its kept?" I enquire turning it back on him. 

It's not like he is opposed to cleaning, more that he was always beaten to it by Mum, but still it's an easy target so I am taking a shot. It works too, as Dad starts to huff a little getting wound up, which makes Sorley and I  laugh all the harder.

He gets up, grabbing a tea towel from the work top and gives both me and Sorley a whack to the back of the head with it. "Right, you boy start peeling, and you madam go and get showered to help, you stink!"

"To be fair Dee, Dad's right you do reek. That must have been one heck of a walk, by the looks of the dog you went up top right?" Says Sorley, pointing at Tip, passed out snoring in her bed."No wonder she didn't jump up when Dad came in."he smirks.

"Why yes, yes we did and its was liberating." I say stretching my arms out as I twirl and head to the stairs in the hall."We loved every minute of it. Oh and before I forget, Dad there are Hinds and calves grazing on the east side under the cliff face. They are looking well, it's like you're good at your job or something " I say with a cheeky smirk.

"Go on get, stinkerbell" he laughs throwing the towel at me again. 

I go upstairs with the plan to have a quick shower, and go help prepare dinner to surprise Mum. But when the hot water hits my skin it's bliss. It soothes all my sore muscles from my walk. I took my bandage off as I no longer have to hide my hand and though it stings when the water or soap hits it, it still feels amazing to clean off after a mucky day out.

 Which is why, when i do get downstairs I am greeted with a rather pissed off Mama bear.

" Diana Lea Mcleish" she shouts

Sorley snorts reading my mind as he says "uh oh, I would run she used your full name sis"

"Did you have a nice day Mum?" I ask sheepishly hoping to avoid a second telling off, I am twenty-six after all.

"Oh, no you dont. You will not change the subject on me. I do not know what has gotten into you young lady," she retorts "property damage?!"

Ah so it's the door, shes annoyed at

"Not to mention the state of my carpets,"she continues

And the mucky well me I suppose.

"Oh, and it just as well you are a skilled vet, because I will have no hesitation in sending you the bill for getting the sofas cleaned, since while you were relaxing upstairs your walking companion took her mucky behind onto them for a sleep. That's right the first obviously wasn't as comfortable once it soaked in her dampness, so she decided to jump on the other as well." 

Crap that's three for three. There's only one thing I can do and say, because this lady here is as docile as they come, until her temper snaps, and then theres the direct show of where I inherited mine from. Although mine snaps a heck of a lot more often than hers does.

I calmly walk up to her and wrap my arms around her and say "I love you Mum, I'm sorry."

Her face softens as tears threaten to spill. The muck will clean. I know that's not what she is upset about. She is upset because the revelation Dad shared with Sorley and I earlier is a mutual one between them. So, she is having to fill in the blanks without all the information, and shes worried, and the doors not the damage she is really referring to. That would be my hand.

She places her hand on the side of my face and says" I love you too, Dee. But, you are not invincible, and now you are hurt. Give me your hand." She asks with a finality that brooks no argument. She frowns looking my hand over. Her ander totally deflated and replaced with concern. "You will survive, I suppose" she says her frown deepening as I fail to hide the wince when she presses slightly too hard on one of my bruised knuckles. "Sorley got all.the splinters out?" She asks next.

"Sure he did Mum, and was an exemplary first aider" I say mimicking a Scouts honour style voice.

"Then I suppose you are off the hook, for that at least, and luckily for you, we replaced the sofas last month to leather so they wash clean easily enough." She admits looking at me smiling a bit too sweetly. "So, i suggest you get to it madam. You may be all grown up, but in this house we clean up our own messes" she says partly.As I am handed a cloth while Dad and Sorley burst into guffaws of laughter.

"Yes ma'am" I say with a smile and salute towards my mother as I head off past the three dozing dogs to clean up Tip's mess.