CHAPTER 1

Hi, everyone! I’m Jezcyl. And I came all the way from the Philippines. I am currently a college student and I am a future educator.

This day is really tiring. Like, I have to memorize the two hundred basic dance steps for our sports activity. I have to review my report on Genetics, our exam on Physics, I have to finish our thesis, and now I am struggling because my favourite drama is already out. I badly want to watch it but I don’t have enough time.

And so, here we are being gathered for an important meeting. I have three friends in our class and I went with them. While finding our seats, my eyes darted on a second year student whom I always noticed was looking at me. I started to observe it because when we were first time gathered I was sitting in the front with my best friend then when I looked at the back I saw him exactly looking at me. He immediately avoided the gazes the same as I did. 

It was really bothering. Since that day, it became like that. I did not mind him though.

It was so noisy. Talks are in every corner of the room. There were laughing, scrolling on their phones, playing games, and talking to their friends. We found our seats. I sat with my friends in front because there were no longer available seats at the back. Though it’s preferable sitting there because there’s less attention. I hate sitting in front, I feel like people are always staring at me and I hate it. I hate it when people kept looking at me.

The Dean of our school went in and he greeted us, “Good morning, students!” he’s very cheerful and I can sense the excitement on his voice. I have no idea about the announcement so I made myself very attentive to him.

“Good morning, Dean.” The students greeted back including me. 

I’m a good student, that’s why.

He smiled at us again, “Today, I have a very important announcement to you. A school in Vancouver, Canada communicated with us and we were offered to have exchange students.” 

The announcement perfectly caught my attention. I have always dreamed studying abroad. My classmates begun to chatter. They were happy and excited as well and they kept on talking with each other after hearing the news, maybe out of excitement. 

My friends were really happy too. Well, who can’t be happy with that news, right? 

The Dean silenced them for a while, “We will select 5 students among your department. But we’ve got a problem, some of the expenses would be yours. For instance, the accommodations for six months and some of your allowances. Your expense going there and back here would be on us and we will also give you some allowance or pocket money but that won’t be enough to support you for half a year. So, I’m asking for those who can afford to please apply and pass it on the Dean’s office. This will not just benefit you, students but the school as well. It will be a big credit to us.”

The silence stayed with us. All my hopes have shattered after hearing the conditions. I can’t afford it. I am only living a simple life. As much as I want it, I don’t know where I’ll get the money. 

I feel so broken hearted right now.

“So, who’s on the go?” the Dean even raised his hand to see if who’ll come with him. I looked at my classmates and no one dared to raise their hands. 

Yeah, my speculation is right. Most of us are living with a simple life here. Really. Canada is a no joke country. It is too far from the Philippines and we know nothing much about there. Universities in America are the best. How I wish I can study there. I want to try something new.

“Some of you are still maybe deciding. I will wait for you. The last day of application is on next Friday. Hope to see you again, class. Goodbye, for now!” he waved his hand at us and left.

The clamor started again as soon as the Dean left. That includes my friend who faced me, “Jezcyl! What are you waiting for?! Come on, apply now!” she visibly said teasing me. 

The corner of my mouth moved and pouted. I even rolled my eyes.

“Shut up. I don’t have that large amount of money. Why don’t you apply yourself?” I asked mocking her. She hit my head and I groaned.

Yeah. Whatever.

We went to our next subject but my mind is on our Dean and his announcement earlier. I can’t get it off my head. I really want to go but I don’t know how to try. I don’t know where to start.

Until I came home, my mind wasn’t in the right state. I found my mom washing the dishes while my dad is in the living room and watching his favourite movie. I lazily greeted them and took their hand to put it on my forehead to show respect. 

“It’s already seven. Why are you late?” my dad asked without disconnecting his eyes from the television.

I sat next to him, “Supposedly, my out was by five but our professor extended the time so I got off six. Then I waited for the transport going here.” I feel so tired today. We had a gallery exhibit a while ago and there’s so many preparations we did. We got late going out because we need to fix things.

He nodded and didn’t asked me again. We had our dinner and after, I told them about my day. They were also sad knowing that we have no enough money for me to come in Canada. I knew it. I did not open the topic again that time. I am not insensitive, I know where to stop. I clearly know that they can’t afford it. But I’m good with it.

In my bed, I kept thinking about it and I cannot sleep. I really, really want to come. It was two in the morning when I got to sleep so in the class, I feel so lifeless. I fucking want to sleep. The whole day, my classmates kept on ranting and it is still about yesterday. I’m getting tired and tired by just listening to them.

Do you feel me? It’s tiring listening to a thing you can’t have.

“Hey. Hey. Let’s just have another topic. I don’t want to talk about it.” I said to my friend while we’re walking.

The three of them looked at me but Ali was the one who pouted, “Tsk! I should have gotten a boyfriend abroad. You know what? That’s one of my dreams, having an American boyfriend.” And she giggled.

We shook our heads with her face right now. She feels like so, in love when she’s not. Among our friends, only Ali and I have no boyfriends but Wen and Vina do have. Nonetheless, I’m pretty well okay. I don’t rush things. The best thing comes at the right time.

But this girl beside me has no chance. She really wants to have boyfriend now and I feel sad for her. Tss.

“What’s wrong with it?” asked Ali

“There’s nothing wrong about it but that is also impossible. You know, you’re here and he’s there, far from you.” Wen answered her

“All impossible things can be possible if you’ll work out on it. Don’t be too negative, Wen.” Ali

Here they are with this argument.

“Enough, girls. I’ll get you boyfriend if that’s what you want.” I said interrupting them but then, Vina knocked words on me.

“How is that possible when you don’t even have one?” I rolled my eyes on them and they just laughed.

They truly are my friends. 

“Like what I am always saying, I’m not rushing things. I’m okay being single, it’s happy. And besides, it is still possible for Ali to get an American boyfriend. You know, I have cousin—

I stopped my words and my eyes immediately widened when I realized something. Oh my gosh!

I know my friends are looking at me like a weird. I want to jump in happiness now. How could I forget that thing?! Damn.

“Girls, I’ll be leaving first. Take care, I love you!” I made a flying kiss and I was running excited to get home.

When I was at home, my mother was very happy coming to me. She’s holding a cell phone and hugged me tight. I was really confused so I asked her. My younger brother, my sister, and my father were behind her. 

“W-what’s wrong, mom? Is everything okay? I’ve got something to tell you.” I rapidly said

“Save it, Jezcyl. I have great news for you.” She excitedly told me.

What? Then I have great news for her, too. “What is it, mom? Tell me, I’m getting confused here.” My eyes darted on my family behind her who were also smiling.

“You’re Aunt Nelen called me earlier. She asked me how we’re doing and I accidentally mentioned to her about your problem.”

Oh my god! Aunt Nelen? My aunt in America? 

“What did she say, mom?” 

My heart is beating so fast and I can’t wait to hear more from her. It must be good news based from their faces.

“She said that… you should apply for the exchange student program. She’ll be giving you the accommodation! You can live there for six months and she’ll be providing your allowance.”

They jumped in happiness after that while gripping my hands.

My jaw dropped in disbelief. How can be this possible? I mean, I was really losing hope but here it is. I jumped with them and shrieked. I only stopped when I became teary eyed. I cannot believe this is happening. 

We hugged each other again.

“Thank you, mom! Thank you! Thank you!”

She held my shoulders and stared at me. “You should thank your Aunt Nelen. She’s been so kind to you and to our family.” Mom said. 

Aunt Nelen is really kind to us. She’s always helping us with our needs even my other aunts. 

“When will she call again, mom?” I asked her

“The next day, sweetheart. By the way, you said you’ve got something to tell me. What is it?”

I smiled at her, “That was it, mom. I was talking with my friends about some stuffs then I just realized that I have cousins in Vancouver and I thought maybe I could get help. Then here you are, telling me that she called us, this is really unbelievable, mom! Tomorrow, I’ll get the application form and I hope there are still available slots for me. I’m so happy!”

“We should have a pre-celebration for this.” My father interrupted. 

Mother glared at him because we all know what he’s after at. 

Alcohol drinks.

“Just cook, honey. We’ll be finer if you’ll do that.” 

Father shrugged his shoulders like he surrenders. He went inside first. My mom and I laughed again.

“Bring chocolates for me. I want branded, alright?” I looked at my brother and went to him to pinch his cheek. 

“Aw!” he groaned

“No chocolates if you’ll not help mother with the chores here and if you kept causing a headache to them. But if you do well, I promise to give you lots of it. I’ll even bought you toys.” Seems like his okay with it. His face lightened.

At night when I was in my bed, I thought I should tell my friends but I postponed calling them. I think, it will be better if I’ll tell them personally. I can’t wait for the sun to rise again. I want to tell them the good news. For sure they’ll be so happy especially Ali.

It’s already midnight but I can’t still sleep so I opened my Facebook account and there’s a new friend request. I opened it and was stunned when I saw that it was the second year student whom I always happened to see. I sat on my bed. It took minutes for me to decide if I’ll accept him or not. But in the end, I accepted him.

There’s no reason to act up.

I returned from scrolling on my phone. Reading some memes and saving some aesthetic pictures. After I got sick of it, I decided to log out, however a message appeared and when I looked at it, it was coming from him. I did not open it and proceeded to sleep. It’s awkward. This will really be awkward tomorrow especially that their room is just next to us and sometimes they are in our classroom. They stayed there whenever their room is locked.

Few hours from now, sun will be shining again. Another morning and a blessed one.