CHAPTER 22

Phoebe's POV

"Did he come checking on me?"I asked myself as I got up from bed, meeting my body covered with a blanket

"He didn't sleep here...with me"I said as I stood up from the bed and headed to the mirror,staring at myself, wanting to shed tears

I heard someone knock,I went to open it.it was jax.i walked back a little,I was afraid of facing him.i felt so guilty for what I did.he came in and closed the door behind

"Phoebe"he called to me quietly,I downcasted my head

"About last night"I chirped in

"About last night Jax"I said looking straight at him

"I'm sorry about it,it wasn't my intention,trust me.it wasn't for selfish reasons, I wanted to do it cause of you,I really love you,and i hate seeing you in pains.Since You told me you were lusting after Emma and you couldn't sleep cause of your nightmare,I knew for sure,if you're aren't careful, you'd go back to your old ways and I don't want you doing that at all.I'm sorry for throwing myself at you, I'm really sorry,babe"I said looking at him as I sobbed

"And please Jax,don't touch your dad, I'm begging you,Jax please"I pleaded,he moved closer and hugged me tightly

"I'm really sorry"I apologized as I felt his lips on my hair

"It's okay Phoebe,it's fine,stop crying"he pet me as I tried to stop crying

"Hey look at me baby"he said as he pulled my chin up, making me look a him

"It's a good thing I didn't touch you and I'm glad I didn't,what could have happened if I did anyway?.of course I'm gonna get married to the most beautiful woman in the world, despite that,I still don't want to before our night.i want to treat you better,more than anyone can"he said holding my hands.i nodded

"I should get you home"he said

"Yeah"I agreed

"Not this way tho"he said as he walked to his wadrobe bringing out one of his hoods

"Here you go"he said as he wore me the hood.i picked up my crossbag and we both headed downstairs meeting his dad and Lucy,I looked at Jax,he held his grip so tight

"Oh,you're still alive Phoebe"he said grinning

"Huh?"I didn't get what he meant by that statement

"Are you done talking?"Jax asked

"Not get twinning"Lucy smiled

"How's your health Phoebe,the asthma thing is not disturbing right? no dust attack?perfume,suffocation or GAS?"he asked stressing on the word GAS

"No"I said so lightly that I bet Jax didn't hear me

"Babe,I think we should go"I said to him in a way he could hear,my voice broke

"I'm sure you'd take care of jaxson"his dad said as we both walked outside

"What an idiot"he said as we entered his car and he drove off,I looked at him,he looked really angry

"Does he have any relationship with your dad"he asked

"Yeah,they were high business partners,that's what my dad told me"I said looking at him

"Obviously that's all he cares about"he said underneath his voice,I heard him well,he should really work on his voice,when he speaks low.

"Why did he blow up the house?"he asked

"Cause um,my dad was given a contract,which he won successfully and then your dad demanded for his share,which"Jax cuts in

"Which he didn't work for"he grinned his teeth gripping on the wheel

"Hmm,my dad gave him part of it,cause he helped in making the project successful,but he wasn't satisfied with his share,he wanted more,that's why he did what he did"I said,he hissed

"Fuck!"he cursed as he tighten his grip on the wheel and drove faster,he was mad

"Ja.."I wasn't done calling him his name as I was about touching him

"Don't Phoebe"he warned, I returned back to my position.i know if I don't calm him down,he was gonna lose it all on his dad.i hated all that was happening,I turned to the window preventing myself from releasing another tears.

He got to my house.he was still waiting,while I was still in the car with him, waiting for him to get down as well.wasnt he gonna get down with me?

"Please get down with me"I pleaded

"Phoebe"I cut in

"Please babe"I pleaded again,he gave in,then we both got down, standing closely opposite each other,he wasn't looking down at me,I did the opposite.

"Jax"I called to him making him look at him.i could see anger, dejection,pains, frustratiom and disappointment in his eyes.i felt pity,I wanted to tell him everything will be okay,I wanted to tell him he doesn't have to be bother,I wanted to tell him getting angry wouldn't solve issues,I wanted to tell him everything was gonna be all fine.

"Babe"I called to him as I placed one hand on his chest and the other on his cheeks

"You've got me okay,you don't have to worry too much,you don't have to be angry,you don't have to do something nasty to your dad,I beg you.i know you're mad right now,I know you wouldn't even listen to what I'll say but I want you too jax, please promise you'd stay low"I said,he stared at me saying nothing

"Please jax say something"I pleaded

"I'd stay low"he said as low as he could,I just love him too much.

"Promise"I requested

"I promise"it.took him time for him to reply

"Hm okay"I palmed my lips together.he leaned on and kissed me, drawing me closer to him, putting one hand around my waist and the other on my ass as I wrap my hands around his neck and kissed him back.We pulled away.

"I love you"he said pecking me on my forehead

"I love you too"I said as he prepared to leave

"Bye"I told him as he walked into his car

"Bye"he said and drove off.

As I entered the house,I already met dad and mum

"You told him about his dad?"dad asked,I nodded yes as I sobbed.they came consoling me.

JAX'S POV.

I want to go home right now and kill my dad with every possible means I know,but I just can't.the least they can do to me is just get me arrested and place me on death sentence,but I didn't want that, I'll hurt Phoebe.

And again another reason why I can't touch my dad is because,I, myself is not alright.the pains and depression I feel inside can't even give me strength and courage to fight who I'm against.i feel not alright and afraid to share to someone about what I feel,even Phoebe.Am not afraid she'd leave me,she can't do that.She loves me but I know Phoebe very well, even if it's just a slight headache I have, she wouldn't sleep,she'd keep crying.talk more of telling her the truth, she'd have sleepless night and cry all day.

When it comes to my health,she doesn't joke with it.i can't tell her the truth.she has faced a lot.she's facing one now and I don't want to be a burden on her.Its killing me slowly inside and the cause of it,is what I find myself difficult to stop.

I tried everything possible to stop.i still can't.even all the promises I made to Phoebe to stop,I still find myself doing it.I have no option, I'm so depressed,I can't share anything with anybody, drinking is my only option.

  Everything is all cause of him.my nightmare, Phoebe's condition, everything is cause of him.how can I not go home and deal the hell out of him.drinking is what I could think of.i know my condition was getting worst the more I drank.i still didnt stop.

Lately,I've been getting  suddenly sick and feeling pains but I refuse to go to the hospital,just to avoid letting them know the truth.i don't wanna bother anybody.

"One beer please"I requested from the bar man.he gave me as I drank.a tear of tears dropped as I quickly cleaned it off, knowing the fact I was killing myself and hurting Phoebe and myself.

What I needed to do was to calm myself from going crazy at home with my dad and drinking was the only thing that could help.My phone rang,it was Zayn.

"Jax,guy wassup"he greeted,I didn't answer

"Aren't you coming to school?"he asked

"I'm not"I adjusted my voice,I knew for sure I was gonna get sick again

"What happened,are you okay?"he asked

"I am"I lied

"Phoebe is coming to school right?"I asked

"Yeah,she's coming,I called her some minutes ago"he said

"Tell her,I was sent an errand if she ask why I didn't show up today"I said

"Okay bro,take care"he said and hung up.

"Another two bottles please"I ordered after drinking 4 bottles earlier.the pains increased,I decided to go home,I took it easy with the way I drove.the pains were severe and eating me really bad.

As soon as I got home.i had to stay in the car for some times.holding on my stomach,my temperature had already risen and I was feeling feverish already.i quickly got down and entered meeting mum alone

"Jax?are you okay?"she said accommodating me in her hands,it felt cold.

"You need to go to the hospital"she said,I quickly flinched away.

,"I'm going no where"I said as I climbed the stairs to my room.Immediately I got in,I jumped on my bed, feeling seriously cold, enduring the pains.

"If at all you're not gonna go to the hospital,well at least eat and take pills"mum said as she walked into my room with a tray of food,I wasn't hungry

"I'm not hungry mum"I said as I covered myself with blanket

"You need to eat Jax, you're not feeling well, you've not been feeling well,I don't even know what's wrong with you,you refuse to see a doctor"she said sadly,you don't need to know,I don't want to see her depressed

"Let's go to the hospital Jax, please"she pleaded

"No!"I fired back with pains

"I'll be fine"I said backing her,as I sobbed silently with pains.

UNKNOWN POV.

"What gas are you working on"Gideon asked

"Ammonia"I answered

"Ammonia grenade.i'll be done in less than two days"I assured him

"Goo,have appointed someone who's gonna assist you in this job,there you can know where to plant the gas bomb"he said

"Okay no problem,just connect me to whoseover the person is, remember you'd send the picture after when the job is done"I said

"No problem,it's okay, I'm ready,when you're ready"he said,then we shoked hands

JAX'S POV

As soon as I was done listening to Phoebe's voicemail, uncontrollable tears came up,I know it's a crazy for a guy to cry but fuck!I was pained.

Just a day without her is so difficult for me.i miss her so much,I need to be with her,I need her to be with me.i was feeling extremely weak and hungry

"Jax"mum walked in with a tray of food.i know have stressed the hell out of her.i adjusted myself on the bed.

"You'd eat now?"she asked worriedly

"I will"I answered,then she surrendered the food to me.

"I'm sorry for everything mum"I apologized as I ate

"Are you okay Jax"she asked

"I'm not sure"I said doubting

"Then let's go to the hospital,if you're not sure if you're okay"she suggested

"I'm okay"I said we I start to lose appetite

"Okay"she said sadly.i dropped the for and laid back on my bed, knowing for sure Phoebe is the first person coming to see me the next morning, because I didn't even try calling or messaging her,she'd be scared and come over or mum calls her here.