CHAPTER 3

CHAPTER 3

Vanessa

I feel homesick and nostalgic at the same time. I don't know why but I miss our old house but I want to stay here too. Weird. But maybe because I've got too attached to the people my family has met and created friendship with at Washington, especially my gang. Not to mention that dad and I made lots and lots of what I consider as the most memorable days that I miss. While here, in Scarsdale, I've created millennia of childhood memories and relationships that I have forgotten but badly want to revive, especially with Enen and Eccay, my closest childhood friends. Sigh. If only I could live in two places at once. 

Trying to kiss the morbid combination of feelings away, I raised my tired back, raised my arms, and stretch. Yesterday was tiring, we had a super long ride and had no time to waste unpacking and arranging stuff in the house. Good thing, there was Aunt Rebecca and the twins or else, mom and I could have been a goner because of fatigue today. I looked at the window, watching the sun's golden rays seeping through the glass and admiring the breathtaking view outdoor, just like as I always do back then. Just like as I always do back then...

My lips slowly curled into a frown as nostalgia surges in my tightening chest. Not again, I groaned, slid my feet off the bed, and wore my fluffy slides. Standing up, I did a full-body roll stretch before fixing my bed and leaving the room, hoping that mom woke up earlier than me and has already made breakfast. Much to my relief, when I arrived in the dining room, the scrumptious smell of bacon, sausages, and eggs invaded my nose as I laid my eyes on the table where hot and sizzling breakfast was already served. Mom was stirring coffee at the kitchen counter while Zach was sitting on his baby high chair, playing with his yogurt.

"Morning, mom," I greeted mom, sitting on the chair beside Zach, "Good morning, baby." I pinched Zach's puffy cheek and gave it a kiss, he stops playing with his food, "Mownin..." he struggles to say and reaches up to give my cheek a kiss. Aw, this sweet boy.

"Morning, hon," mom finally turns around and sits on the table with her mug of coffee in hand. She picks up her fork and knife and starts digging in, "You know what to do today?" she asked me before chewing in a slice of bacon.

I started digging in too, "Clean my room and sort out items, babysit Zach, find the forms that I need to present to the school registrar on Monday then prep my stuff and self for a new day in school— as a transferee," I answered and turned to Zach to wipe off the yogurt on his cheek that I saw him smear through my peripheral vision, distracting myself from welling up again.

I've been absent from school for a month for physical and mental recovery since the accident, I was not only physically scarred, the doctors then diagnosed me with survivor's guilt a week after I woke up. I spent the entire month coping up with my sadness, blaming myself for the accident, and talking it to my therapist while recovering my broken arm and legs. Throughout the entire month, I missed dad's wake and was only allowed to be released for a day, that was dad's funeral, the event caused me another breakdown and I was staying in the hospital was extended. Trying to get over of everything, I thought I was gonna come back in school being normal again and will have the usual same days but much to my disappointment, the day the doctors told me that I was good to go, I learned that we're moving out and I need to transfer schools.

"Aw, my baby's all grown up," mom complimented, looking at me with starry eyes. I want to tell her that I'm not, I'm still depressed over dad's death and talking to my therapist all my dark thoughts isn't helping enough but I don't want to cause anymore burden, I don't want her to break and cry like how she did during the funeral. Aside from Zach, she's the only family I have left and I don't plan on losing them both. No. Never again.

"Think in the morning, act in the afternoon, sleep in the evening," I quoted William Blake with a smile and continued eating breakfast.

As was planned, after breakfast, I immediately set to work, I cleaned, arranged and decorated it, the work ended almost half a day, mostly because I was distracted by my old stuff while sorting them and getting myself sad while looking for the forms I need to present on Monday. Honestly, it's very depressing for me since it's my last semester in high school and I was excited about graduating. Taking class pictures, asking my classmates and friends where they'll be heading for college if they will be going to college or not, preparing for the yearbook, and the likes.

I look over to my closet where my set of new uniforms was hanged. It was standing up, I went towards the closet and grabbed the Monday uniform, bu the hanger, it was a short-sleeved blouse paired with a red vest and above the knee skirt. I gently touched the soft fabric of my uniform with my fingertips. Sigh, I wonder if Trinity Knights High School, please be good to me.

I took advantage of the rest of the time since mom will be starting her new job next week so she'll be in charge of Zach for the meantime. Finishing my final touches for my room, I then took a small break before switching spots with mom taking care of Zach and the rest goes on 'til evening. I made myself busy by surfing the internet while watching my little brother who was playing in his crib when I heard mom's voice called my name from the kitchen, "Vanessa?" I fumbled on the sofa, changing my position before answering, "Yes, mom?"

I heard her footsteps coming closer and closer. Anticipating her presence, I turned my head and faced her behind me. She was holding a long list of God knows what, a wad of cash and her Cruze's key, "There's a grocery shop in the two blocks away from here, drive my car and kindly empty this list," she said and handed me the long list with the cash and car keys she was holding. I took it and read the whole content.

"Wow," I whistled, "Are we having an advance Thanksgiving, mom?"

Mom laughed at my joke, "No, sweetheart. Rebecca and the twins are going to have dinner here with us. You know your Auntie and cousins, they're not really fond of cooking."

I playfully rolled my eyes when she said the last phrase, "Right," I muttered in agreement. Auntie Rebecca isn't really fond of cooking and just as what people say, like mother, like daughters, the twins have also acquired that trait of hers, "Okay," I took a deep breath and took the cash and keys then placed them on my pocket.

"Can come?" Zach volunteered all of a sudden that stunned both me and mom. He was raising his arms at me with a hopeful look on his face.

Mom walked over the crib and leaned to him to kiss his forehead, "That is, if your sister agrees," she said that rendered Zach to look at me with huge puppy eyes. Don't look at me like that, little boy, you're melting my heart!

"Of course, you can," I walked over to them and messed his hair. He giggled, causing bubbles of saliva to froth and pop out of his mouth, jumping to reach my neck his arms still reaching for me. I leaned to him and scooped him in my arms. Mom looked at us lovingly.

"We'll be back in a bit, mom," I told her and walked to the door.

"Bye-bye, ma-m," Zach waved his hand at mom. I opened the door and made my way out, spotting mom's car nearby. I hear mom shouting indoors, "Take your time!"

"Yeah!" I shouted back. I halted my steps when I reached the car and pressed a button on the key that caused the car to make a small sound and the child lock to unlock. I opened the door and carefully placed Zach, who busy playing with his saliva, on his signature booster seat. When I made sure that he was securely strapped, I took my throne a.k.a the driver's seat, and inserted the key in the ignition.

The whole car was filled with Zach's laughter when I turned the ignition on. I turned to face him and saw him look at me with the most amused expression I've ever seen, "Fasten your seatbelts, big boy," I said before hitting my eyes on the road and stepping on the gas pedal with much force.

The whole trip was filled with his laughter. Seriously, he seemed to be rather amused than terrified though my speed was near the limit. It's a good sign, my little bro's a thrill-seeker, just like his sis. I parked the car on a curb once I found a grocery store that was near outskirts the village, I don't know if this was what mom's talking about, but who cares? As long as I buy what's on the list, I'm alive and breathing. I turned the ignition off and left the car before grabbing the little thrill-seeker out from his booster seat.

"Mow! Mow!" Zach cheered as I walk to the entrance of the store, carrying him in my arms. The doors automatically slid open. I roamed my eyes to find a trolley and found one near the cashier's counter. I grabbed it and placed Zach on it at once, ignoring the judgemental stare of the middle-aged, Chinese cashier on me and flashing her a smile before walking to the aisles to do what must be done.

While making myself busy by reading the whole list, I heard Zach complimented, "Nice hiw."

I lowered the list look at him and nodded in agreement, "Maybe moving back here isn't so bad after all," I said but I released a grunt when something hard crashed against our cart, causing my stomach to hit on the handle. I shook my head and staggered a glare at the thing or person I've bumped into but my irritation soon melted like an ice cube under the hot sun when I saw those familiar pair of steel grey eyes.

Despite my dry throat and trembling lips, I managed to tell my brother, "...Or not."

A menacing smile ran across his face, "Hello, baby girl."

I smell trouble.

I stared at the guy before me with wide, gobsmacked eyes. I have always thought that meeting him again would be inevitable, but I didn't expect that it would be right now, at this moment. I can't believe it. Clutching my chest where my achingly pounding heart resides, I brush my eyes from the soles of his cleats up to the edges of the strands of his damp, unruly dark hair that I always to tend to run my fingers on back then. Back then, the phrase rendered a bitter smile to carve on my face as I scrutinize him. He has grown a lot broader and taller, his looks had gone mature and sharper too. However, it seems that not only his physical attributes changed, looking at the way his lips curved into a proud sneer and his eyes that have gone to a deeper shade of abyssal black playfully look at my small figure. That gaze and leer make me feel as if I'm... belittled.

I bit my lower lip harshly when a realization came. This guy standing in front of me isn't Friso, the guy that I used to love and know so much. This is Friso Drew Ezekiel de Vries, son of a billionaire who was born with a golden spoon shoved in his mouth. A person that I barely know, a stranger.

A small poke pulled me away from my apparently constant staring and endless reverie. I looked down and saw Zach gazing at me, eyes wide and full of wonder while his mouth is frothing with bubbles of saliva, "Van...nie..." he trails off, struggling to call my name, "You... okaaay?" he asks, lips lathering with more bubbles. Startled, I pulled out my handkerchief from my pocket and painstakingly wiped it all the saliva off his mouth. No matter how he thinks that he's already grown up and doesn't want to be treated like a baby but he's still a baby. I wonder, will I still look at him as a little child even when he grows up?

"It's been a long time, huh?" the same voice from earlier asked, curiosity completely visible. Suddenly, the presence of a heavy atmosphere came, rendering all the temporary ease I've felt when Zach pulled me away from my trance to flee and the pressure from earlier to come back. My whole body feels as if heaven and Earth sandwiched me in between, so heavy, so woozy. Clenching my shivering hand into a fist, I silently prayed for my unsteady, palpitating heart to be tranquil.

Gulping, I answered his question, "Y-Yeah..." not looking into his eyes. I don't know why but all my courage was swept away when I looked into those dark, void, frisky eyes. Those eyes... they used to look at me with warmth, gentleness, and love. I was startled when those spheres suddenly moved to the little boy standing demurely on the cart, observing every inch of my brother.

"Is he your son?" he suddenly asked out of the blue, catching me off guard. I've always expected these questions from people but him. I have been contemplating friends that I want to meet again and people that I'm soon to meet and anticipate them to ask if Zach is my son but Friso never came into my mind. My heart begins palpitating and my hands are getting cold, I'm nervous. Why am I getting nervous? Is it because of the way he coldly scrutinizes Zach or because of his sudden question? If it the latter, why would I be nervous? I have nothing to hide. Or am I... scared of what he will think of me?

I hastily waved my hands to gesture no and spoke my denial, "No, he—" before I could finish what I was about to say, he grabbed Zach from the cart into his arms. Afraid of him dropping or hurting my little brother, I stumbled forward, towards their direction. Zach is still very young, and his bones aren't really that strong yet, he needs to be held carefully with a strong grip. If Friso won't hold him tightly enough, Zach wi—

A glint in Friso's eyes rendered me to silently gasp. Why is he looking at Zach that way? He gazes at my brother as if he has ill gushes or... am I just imagining things?

"Hiiiii," bubbles of saliva began lathering Zach's mouth once again as he speaks to the man carrying him, reaching out his hands to touch the latter's face. It surprised me, Zach isn't the type of baby that is fast to be fond of any person but rather, tends to cry, especially if his proximity is close with a stranger. Back then, I was only able to carry him when he was already 6 months old because he cries when I try to carry him, even, touch him. Mom and dad struggled taking turns carrying and taking care of him because I couldn't because of the little guy's pickiness until he was six months old though. Not to mention, when he saw my friends for the first time in our previous home, he cried, loudly.

Friso held out his free hand so his index finger can poke Zach's puffy cheek, "How cute," he complimented, his glaring eyes beginning to soften. Anxious, I held out my wobbly arms, trying to stay saying steadily, "Please hand him over, he needs to be placed back in the cart."

He looked at me as if he's going to raise a brow at me but didn't protest, "O...kay," he leaned down to hand Zach over since my head only reached his shoulder. My whole body stiffened when our fingers touched as he carefully places Zach in my arms, I bit my inner cheek to restrain myself when his warm breath fans over my cheek, tickling me. Get a grip, Vanessa!

"So, who's the father?" he asked as I placed Zach, who looks at me with wonder in his huge eyes, back in the cart. He must be wondering what is going on, how innocent. I smile softly but soon frowned after realizing Friso's question, "I'm sorry?" I ask, thinking that I've heard him wrong, knowing that I've made it clear that Zach isn't my son.

"I'm asking who's the baby's father," he repeats his question then made an addendum that triggered me, "I didn't know you've already got laid early. Oof, you did get laid early, right? Back in first year. Too bad, I wasn't your fi—"

SLAP!

I stopped him from finishing his sentence by throwing a hard slap across his cheek. Anger begins seeping inside my chest and all my blood ran all up to my already flushing face. All the emotions that I have left here at New York back then, the pain, the anguish, the frustration, I threw them all with one slap at the person who caused my demise. His lack of faith, of trust, of will to listen was the reason why I left!

"I have never thought  that you are this kind of person."

"What happened to you? You weren't like this before!"

"I shouldn't have trusted you,"

"I hate you."

"Just because I hurt you doesn't mean that... you'll think of me that way," I tried to act strong, but my voice came small along with a hiccup. My insides churned when tears were starting to brim my eyes, "I know that you're angry at me for what I've done before but please do have some decency!" I bellowed and turned away with the cart, running to the other aisle with tears cascading down my cheek and the dormant emotions that I have been suppressing back then bursting fresh.

I didn't know... I didn't know he turned into some jerk!

"Van...nie..." I hear Zach evoking me with his faint, small voice. I sniffed and wiped the waterworks before looking at him through the rear-view mirror, "Yes, baby?" I asked him in a thick, cracking voice. Good thing, I'm not turning the car on yet or we would've possibly caught on an accident because of my lack of attention. I have been crying here in the car for long minutes, long enough to see Friso leave the mart, which rendered my heart to lurch in pain. The sore confrontation earlier left me a mark and a warning: avoid Friso at all costs. I have been waiting for us two to meet again to one day, talk peacefully and have closure then become strangers, that's all. But why did it have to turn out like that? What was with that arrogant aura and mischievous smile? That was so different from the Friso who used to smile warmly at me and look at me with loving eyes.

Wait. A realization struck me like a bolt of lightning. Used to, I bitterly smiled when I remembered that phrase. He's changed. After all these years, of course, he would change after that happened, after I've hurt him. Pain causes a person to change.

"No cry," I hear Zach's little voice say, "Vannie... str...ong," he struggles to murmur, looking at me comfortingly with big doe-like his eyes. My heart fluttered in ease and ecstasy when he says those words. I wipe another tear that rolls down my cheek. Sometimes, Zach's advance in speech and the way he expresses his emotion makes me ponder that he's a wise person that died and reincarnated with his memories of his past life still intact, but of course, that is very absurd. My love for the idea of reincarnation and isekai novels has brought me an illusion of fantasy mixing into reality. I'm sure, if anyone knows this hidden side of mine, he'll probably avoid me forever.

I sniffed as I curved my lips into a happy grin, "Of course, Vannie is strong," I uttered and removed the seatbelt before reaching over a hand to the little guy to caress his cheek, "I am strong..." I repeated and added, my voice cracking into a cry.

He holds my forefinger with his little hand, "Zach love Vannie," he states, staring deep into my eyes rendering my lips to curve into a sincerely joyful smile, "I love you too, Zach," I reciprocated and leaned further to kiss his chubby, red cheek before fixing myself and proceeding to what's to do next which is driving home.