CHAPTER 2

Kapittel 2

Vanessa

It was a raining heavily, the clouds were thick and grey attacking silent, wet and smelly road

"Dad, slow down," I told him, fear laced on my voice through my clattering teeth. If he keeps on doing this, he might lose control of the brakes and God knows what will happen. Thinking of horrific repercussions were already enough to make my spine shiver in fear.

"Can't, sweetheart," he told me that caused my fear to crawl up to my chest, "I'm enjoying the fast pace," he added with his warm laugh but I did not miss a small tinge of something that I cannot name. I embraced him tighter when he increased the speed. Jesus!

"Dad!" I interjected, finally getting afraid more than ever, "Slow down, please!" I begged while mentally praying for him to slow down literally. I know I should've turned down his request and drove this damned thing instead.

"Okay, okay, princess," he laughed heartily. I know that I was supposed to feel relieved because he was finally going slow down but wriggled timorously when I realized that his laugh wasn't mirthful at all but nervous and shaky. I knew it. Something bad is about to happen, "But first, take this helmet off. It's kinda tight, makes me feel uncomfortable," he told me and began tilting his head to the right side a little, acting as if he was really uncomfortable.

I gave him the back of his head a bewildered look before removing my arms from his large tummy and reached out to the straps of his helmet, unfastening them with my wriggling, cold fingers until I've finally removed them. I shrieked when I felt the lounge rose up then went back down again, scaring me but I managed to ask dad, "O-Okay now?"

He nodded then told me, "Now, wear it," that rendered me confused. I tilt my head perfectly at the rearview mirror to show him my bewildered look, "Seriously, dad. What's going o-"

"Just wear it, Vanessa," he cuts me off, his voice firm and his eyes straight on the road. I gulped nervously as I felt the lanky arms of fear embrace me from behind. I stared at the helmet for five good seconds before raising it over my shoulder and slowly slid my head in. Dad's fresh-scented cologne wafted its way into my nose, making me inhale and exhale dreamily. I always like dad's cologne, it was a good musky scent. Not too strong that it makes someone's nose hurt, and not too plain that one doesn't want to smell at all.

"Good," I heard him mumble and swerved his head a little, showing me a good angle of a side of his face that has a wide smile etched on it, "Now, I want you to remember that I love you, Vanessa, sweetheart," my heart skipped a beat when he told me those words, "Please tell your mom and your brother that I love them so much. Always keep in mind that the three of you are my life."

My eyes widened, "Wait. Dad, what d— "

"Dad!" I cried, opening my eyes, revealing a fuzzy headliner to my sight. I looked around, my heart racing fast, shaking and breathing in an unsteady pace— panicking. Where am I? What happened? The rain. The motorcycle. Dad—

"Vanessa, honey, you okay?" a familiar voice asked. Mom.

At that moment, I immediately recalled the prior events. The accident. It happened two months ago. dad's dead and we're moving back to our old house. I drew a deep breath in, and out. Calm down, Vanessa. Calm down.

I set my back straight, learning that I was crouching on the seat, face, and neck wet of hot tears that I hastily wiped. I embraced myself, sniffing and rubbing my cold arms with one thought in my mind: another bad dream. I have been haunted by nightmares since I woke up from the accident. It's always at the same place and ends with always staring at dad's dead face. I grit my teeth at the thought of dad's death. It was all my fault, if only I could have taken control over the motorcycle or if I have asked him to stop on shelter because it was raining, he could still be alive by now.

"Vanessa?"

I turned around, looking for the voice that called my name, leading me to face mom wearing a worried expression, "Are you okay?" she asked. I nodded. She's currently heaving a heavy load right now, I don't want to be another sack of burden added to the load.

"I'm fine," I spoke with a tight-lipped smile when I noticed she didn't look convinced. I brushed my sight across the view outside the window and realized we're in a gas station.

"I'm going to the store and buy some snacks. Anything particular you'd like me to buy for you?" she said and pops another question, her voice deeply caressed with care, making my heart melt. Oh, mom.

This time, I let out a genuine smile and answered, "No, I'm fine. I don't wanna end up holding my pee or loo while we're on a ride."

"Okay. Your choice." Mom shrugged and turns on her heels, heading her way to the store.

"Nie... Van... Nie..." I turned my attention to my little brother Zach who called my name and found him munching his little fingers. I sighed adoringly, just the plain sight of him makes all the heavy feeling I'm carrying in my chest squander away. But wait— why is he munching his fingers? I remember giving him his pacifier after his lollipop ran out. Wondering where's his pacifier is, I looked around and found it on the floorboard, making me click my tongue and thought that I shouldn't have slept on him.

I bent down to pick up the pacifier, when I successfully picked it up, I put it in the small bag where mom keeps Zach's things then laid my back flat on the couch, playing with the little boy's drool-saturated hands. It was a little peaceful moment when I heard a faint whistle.

"Sugee, ano kuruma."

"Huh?" I turned my head on the rear. A tall, pale, chinky-eyed guy in streetwear was eyeing the car with his hands in the pockets of windbreaker jacket and lips folded together. By the way his chinky eyes were slanted, I could tell that he's of Japanese descent. I kept watching him while he lazily strolls around the car, whistling coolly and still checking out the car when his black orbs brushed past the half-open window and our eyes met. I curled my lips into a fake smile and raised a hand for a little wave. He, on the other hand, looked very surprised.

"Eeeh! Bishoujo!" he exclaimed loudly, taking two steps back and bending his body a bit. What a bizarre reaction.

"I'm sorry?" I asked as I couldn't understand what he said earlier, but I knew it was Japanese.

Finally realizing his awkward pose, the guy stood straight, keeping it cool with his still hands in his pockets, "Ah, nothing. I was saying you're beautiful," he said, giving off a charming smile that revealed a deep dimple on his left cheek.

"I see that you're quite the flatterer."

"No cap. You're beautifu— oh," he stops his sentence midway and droops his head down then squinted his monolid eyes, "Your kid?" he asked, pointing a finger at Zach.

I shook my head no and added, "My brother."

"Oh, I see. Sorry."

"That's okay," I shrugged, "I usually get that a lot."

He nods a few times before popping another question, "Do you live around here?" then added: "Maybe we could hang out... and get to know each other, yeah?" he raises his shoulders, looking quite hopeful. It makes me feel a bit bad that I'm about to break it.

"No, sorry. I'm just on a trip with my fam."

"Oh I see," he whistles again, turns his back and I hear him whisper in a crispy manner, "Zan'ne'na," before turning to me again, "At least I could get to know your name then? I'm Toshiro," he said with a small smile and offered his hand through the open space. I thought Asians are conservative when it comes to skin-ship?! Fuck off already please, I wanted to tell him but I kept my mouth sealed and took it.

"It's Van," I answered shortly, still wearing my fake smile, begging him to screw off mentally.

I smiled, "Likewise."

Our little introduction quickly ended, much to my relief, when a ringing sound emerged. He released my hand and took out his phone from his jacket, he then looked at me as if he was asking permission, "May I..."

"It's okay," I told him. Yes, please go away already.

He gives me an elated smile before turning on his back and answering the phone call, walking away to create some distance and privacy. I let out a sigh of relief before pushing the button that makes the window raise up and close. In the nick of time, mom came back with paper bags filled with snacks and drinks.

"Who was that?" she asked as she placed the paper bags down on the shotgun seat and setting herself comfortably.

"Just some guy I'll forget later on and never meet again," I answered, proceeding to play with little Zach.

"We never know," she said with an unknowing smile before turning the ignition on.

Scarsendale has changed way far from my expectations. As soon as my eyes darted on huge blocks that had the huge letters that spell the name SCARSENDALE made out of gracefully carved, fine marble, I immediately knew that life would be as new as mom's newly bought Cruze that dad bought for her for their anniversary, which makes my stomach sick to its pits for the nth time. I clutched on Zach's arm tighter as mom drove through the gate after talking to the guard, nervous and anxious at the same time. This is what I have feared when everything you've left changes.

"Wow," I heard my little brother muttered breathlessly. I cannot help but do the same when my eyes laid on a glorious sight. It wasn't only the gate that had changed but also what lies behind it!

With my jaw ajar, I roamed my eyes around as my drive to God knows where. I cannot put into words how magnificent what was set before my eyes, "I never thought that dad could afford to buy back our old house. Especially that everything's gone luxurious now," I found myself coughing out those words. God, now I'm starting to believe that dad's our personal Santa.

"I know right? Buying a house here must've cost a fortune, especially ours because I heard they renovated it a year ago," mom stated, her eyes plainly focusing on the road, "I might get confused where our old house is at," she added, which I found confusing whether it was a joke or a worry. Nevertheless, I shook it off my mind and gave my attention back to the glorious sight around us.

Time flew very fast that I didn't realize nor did I expect that we've finally arrived at our destination. I only noticed we've arrived when mom chirped, "We're here!" I didn't mind her though, I kept myself busy by scrutinizing the view outside the window. I couldn't deny that everything around was just so beautiful. I'm pretty sure. sightseeing around the whole village would take me forever.

I heard Zach gasp, through my peripheral vision, I saw him gazing outside the window. Curious and craving to see more, I turned my head to follow his gaze. That was when my eyes widened as my eyes landed on a beautiful facade waiting for us to enter. It was our old house but now furnished and renovated that I almost mistook it for another house. You see, the houses here in Scarsendale have a variety of designs, every house is unique and none of them look alike. As far as I know, their management makes sure that their clients and occupants have diverse house designs, they even renovate every house every year for free, as long as the occupants want to. That's why the press often describes this town to be unique and one of a kind.

"I-Is this... our home...?" I looked at mom, asking for reassurance and she nodded eagerly in response, "It is!" she chirped before opening the door on her side and left us, probably to take care of the movers.

"Vannie! Vannie!" Zach cried. I looked at him and almost laughed. He was struggling on his booster seat, his face forming beet red like he was going to cry. Zach's a mama's boy, he always clings on her and often asks her to carry him then cry when she's out of his sight. I understand him though, I've been like that to dad back when I was young.

My mood soured and the small smile that crept on my face turned into a wince when a familiar, painful pang hit my chest like venom. I remember him again. I remember dad again.

"Vannie! Vannie!" Zach cried my name once again, pulling me away from my reverie. I shook my head and looked at him with a smile, "You want to get out or go to mom?" I asked, trying to compose myself and stop the tears that are warning to fall any time soon.

"Entew new home... entew new home!" he tried to muster, flailing his cute little arms up in the air hopelessly, his lips soaking with bubbles of saliva, his eyes pleading and his face becoming red. His cute baby talk and flushing face was enough to sweep the melancholic thoughts of dad off my mind, "Okay, okay. Stay still," I said and he obliged. I took the straps of my seatbelt off me before I did the same to his booster seat.

"Yay!" he cheered and flailed his arms up in the air once again, but this time, more cheerfully. I laughed, mentally thanking God for giving Zach to us. The little guy right in front of me who makes me happy and cheers me through little gestures is actually a menopausal baby. Mom rode dad's flagpole while she was on hed premenopausal phase and then boom! Her tummy went big and Zach came into the world nine months later. He was a huge blessing all right, he's what we have been asking for so long.

"Vannie!" he cried, "Leggo!"

"All right. All right," I smiled at him and carried him to my lap with one arm and the other reaching for a grip on the door's handle. I took a hold on my necklace's pendant for a while, muttering myself some encouraging words before taking a deep breath and turning the handle, pushing the door open. I stepped my feet out and landing soles of my heels on the lane then slowly lead my body out next, careful not to hit Zach's head on the opening. The cold gust of wind hit my face, making me wince a little. It's a bit colder here than Washington.

I looked at him and let out a small giggle. He has his arms in the air while opening and closing his hands like how'd we do when I sing him Twinkle Twinkle Little Star every night I cajole him to fall asleep. I pinched his cheek and began walking to the porch, my eyes only fixed at him. When we got closer and only a step away, that was when I noticed a set of familiar people by the doorstep holding a banner that has a statement WELCOME HOME! in bold letters.

"Wait, who are tho— " my eyes widened in shock when I realized who those people by the doorstep were, "Auntie Rebecca? Angelene? Angeleca?"

"Welcome back home!" they exclaimed and before I knew it-- two pairs of arms engulfed me into a warm bearhug, "Woah!" I staggered, back, almost losing my balance. I kept my tight grip on Zach who burrowed wrapped his small arms around my neck and his face on my shoulder blade in fear because of the twins' sudden attack.

I heard a loud thump! behind us, then mom's voice came next, "Oh. My. God."

Mom's cousin and our closest relative, Auntie Rebecca walked to us, holding the banner and said with a small smile, "Surprise...?" holding up the banner up to her jaw. Mom's figure flashed before my sight and the next thing I saw, she had engulfed Auntie Rebecca with a tight hug. Auntie Rebecca just laughed and hugged her back before they both pulled away from each other. She then spoke to the twins, "Time to let go, girls. You two are choking Vanessa to death."

The two obliged, the released me from their tight embrace and looked at me like I was the best Christmas gift they've ever received. I pursed my lips into a small smile and attempted to speak but Angelene spoke eagerly, "We missed you! It has been three long years!" that made me laugh when the familiar feeling of nostalgia hit me hard. Angelene or Enen rather, was always the cheerful twin, while Angeleca or Eccay was the matured, not in a way that she's like a serious and emotionless person though. She jokes and hangs with us fine but she tends to control everything she says or reacts, unlike Enen who is reckless and often lets her emotions lead her.

"Enen," Eccay chided his sister with her a warning voice and her eyes glaring at ger twin before turning to me and saying, "Welcome back home, V."

My smile grew wider, "Thank you," I felt Zach shuffled his head on my shoulder. I glanced at him and saw him taking a little peek on both at Eccay and Enen who noticed his tiny presence just now. I lowered my head to him until my nose hits his cheek, "It's okay, big boy. They're friends," he just nodded but instead of pulling away, he nuzzled his face on my shoulder even more. What a clingy kid.

"Is he your son?" both Enen and Eccat asked in unison, their eyes widening in horror. I mentally shook my head in disappointment with a thought in my mind, Oh God, not them too.

Because of the huge age gap between Zach and me, most people, especially those who barely know me, often mistake us as mother and son, though we're actually siblings. One time, a senior schoolmate of mine was rumored to have a huge crush on me tried to harass me because he thinks that I was actually an easy to get and a slut, and even defended himself by using Zach as the proof. Since he was in a legal age, I was able to send him to jail and press charges of sexual harassment.

"Silly!" I heard mom laughed behind them. Soon, a pair of arms coiled on each of their shoulders, "Girls, meet Zach. My menopausal baby."

"Menopausal baby?" Auntie Rebecca butted in the conversation, looking at mom with questioning eyes. The latter nodded in confirmation that caused Auntie Rebecca to clap her hands joyously in the air, "How wonderful!" meanwhile, Enen and Eccay looked at Zach and I with their jaws on the floor, probably surprised that Zach isn't mine, or rather the fact that he is a menopausal baby.

"Wow," Eccay muttered, completely bewildered a few moments after staring at Zach and I. Enen took a step forward and offered her arms out, "Can I hold him?" she asked.

"Uh, sure, I guess," I mumbled and tried to reach Zach to her but he kept his grip on me fine and strong, "Sshh, it's okay, big guy. She's a friend," I cajoled but he only shook his head. I tried to reach him to Enen again but he struggled. I sighed, Zach doesn't easily let any person carry him, he only wants to be carried by the person he is fond of, or the one he has spent the most time with.

I saw Eccay and Enen's eyes softened. The latter stepped closer to us and held her hand up to caress Zach's thin mop of hair, "Hey there, little guy. Don't be afraid," she said in the softest voice I've ever heard, like a mother seeing her baby for the very first time. She immediately caught Zach's attention. He slowly lifted his face and looked at her.

Enen smiled and held her hand up. A little fluttering feeling rose in the pits if my stomach as Zach loosened his grip on my neck, I reach him to Angelene and he just let me. Once Enen had him in his arms, she held him tightly with care and said, "Hi," she drew her face close to my brother. The two were looking at each other like they were the only people in the world. Meanwhile, mom, Auntie Rebecca, Eccay, and I only looked at them as a wonderful scene in a movie.

"Pweety," he said, bubbles of saliva bursting on his lips as he reached his little hands to her rosy red cheeks.

Enen giggled and pulled her face away slightly, "I know right?" and we all laughed before deciding to get inside the house.