CHAPTER 5

CHAPTER 5

Vanessa

"Honey, dinner's ready," I heard mom said while knocking on the door. Instead of standing up and opening to door for her, I paid no attention and hug my knees tighter, staring blankly at the wall with endless tears in my eyes.

I don't know what I'm feeling right now, it's like a combination of anger, sadness, surprise, and disappointment. He was still being the same asshole in the last semester of middle school. I thought that he would at least go back with his old personality and we'd be able to break the wall that separated our long friendship right in that place, at that moment. I thought it was time for healing, forgiving. But, I guess, they were just my assumptions.

Sniffing, I reminisced my childhood, my times with the twins and Friso. We used to play in the park's playground, especially in the sandbox and build sandcastles then smash them to smithereens when we're done then make another one again, playhouse and family where Eccay would be the mom and Enen would use her Sharpie marker to draw a mustache on her face and pretend to be a guy to be the dad then Friso and I will be their children, then when we get tired of it, we play tag and hide seek. I made a small giggle and wiped my flowing tears when I remembered that I always get easily caught when playing those games because of my small feet and I was the smallest in the group while Enen and Eccay were the fastest to run in tag and the easy to find in hiding and seek aside from me, and Friso...

I hugged my knees tighter as my eyes begin watering again. Back then, when I get caught either by him or the twins, he comforts me using with a bright smile and says that I'll improve next time, he would make me a flower crown and ring. He was so... gentle until the near end of middle school.

"I have never thought that you are this kind of person."

"What happened to you? You weren't like this before!"

"I shouldn't have trusted you."

"I hate you."

"I didn't know you've already got laid early. Oof, you did get laid early, right? Back in first year. Too bad, I wasn't your first."

Remembering the words he told me back then, I feel my face burning red, anger seeping inside me. He told me hurtful words without any attempt to listen about my side of what happened before. No, I shouldn't expect for our old friendship to be back. I gotta get over it. I need to get over it. We need to change as time passes by.

"Vanessa," I hear mom knocking on the door.

That was when I decided to stand up and head to the bathroom to wash my face. I don't want mom to know that I was crying but I'm sure she'll recognize that I am since my eyes are bloodshot red. Looking at my reflection in the mirror, I took a deep breath and made a small smile. Life is beautiful, dad used to say, so I need to live it at its fullest. I made a small sigh after motivating myself before grabbing a tissue and blowing my nose. Remove all the toxic vibe just as I did to my snot, I joked before throwing the tissue on the bin and leaving the bathroom, heading towards the door to open it for mom.

"Vanessa. Get out of there now, your Auntie Re—" she stopped saying midway when I flung the door open. She scrutinized me from head to toe before asking worriedly, "Oh, are you okay?"

"Yeah." I sniffed, feeling another load of snot crawling out of nose, "I'm fine," I answered but I know that she knows I'm lying. My face reveals the obvious truth that I'm not okay.

"Are you sure that you're okay?" she tries to reassure, looking at me with her brows raised and forehead creasing, a sign that she's getting more worried.

"Is Auntie Rebecca and the others here? We shouldn't make them wait," I said, changing the topic and begin taking strides to the stairs. I heard mom's small steps following behind me.

"Do you need someone to talk to? Listen, honey, it's not your fau—"

"Mom, I'm fine. I'm not thinking about it." I turned around and assured her, "It's just that..." I trail off and made a small sniff, "I just miss dad, that's all. I wasn't thinking about th—" I was cut midway when mom hugged me, tight.

"Sweetie," I hear her said in a small voice, "You still got me and Zach," she comforted. My heart melted in an instant and all the heavy feeling in my chest evaporated. Mom.

I sniffed once again and wrapped my arms around her, hugging her back, "I know. I love you guys."

The sweet moment ended later, mom and I descended downstairs together, hand in hand and heart in heart. We found Auntie Rebecca, Eccay, and Enen in the living room, playing with Zach who was in his crib, seeming to get used to them. When they saw us arrive, we all went to the dining room and took our respective seats with Zach sitting on his high chair. My mouth watered at the sight of the food offered on the table. Mom cooked a hefty, there was my favorite, meatball along with roasted chicken, baked potatoes, spring salad, tiramisu, baked fish fingers for Zach, and of course, strawberry limeade for drinks. Everybody immediately started digging in before saying grace.

"So, Vannie," Auntie Rebecca started, cutting a slice of her chicken.  "Where will you be transferring school?" she asked, looking at me with curious and concerned eyes. I know she wasn't prying or has any malicious intentions and is trying to catch up but for an unknown reason, the question made me feel bothered and uncomfortable. There's nothing bad that will happen in I answer a question, right?

I swallowed the spring salad that I was chewing then answered, "Trinity Knight High School." then grabbed a forkful of salad for another bite.

A sudden gasp was heard. I turned my head to where I heard it come from and found out it was Enen appears to drop her fork, seeming to be surprised by my answer.

Did I say something wrong?

"What's wrong, sweetie?" mom asked her, she looks at Enen and glances down on the floor.

Enen immediately shook her head in response, "Nothing, Auntie. I just remembered something." Giving what seems to be a nervous smile, she slowly bent down to fetch the fork.

Mom waited for her to get back up then asked, "Tell us about it."

I saw Eccay nudge Enen secretly with an elbow. Enen glared at her and she took the advantage and leaned close. When she pulled away, I saw Enen give me a nervous glance before looking at mom with an excuse: "Uh, I suddenly remembered about the succulents that Eccay and I left in our apartment. I forgot to water them."

"Oh right." Mom relaxes her back on the chair, her eyes looking upwards, "I remember, you like to garden. Hmm, you were quite young back then and often go to the garden when you and Eccay come." She reminisces, taking a bite of the baked potatoes. She loves potatoes a lot which shows that she is glad when potatoes are presented on the table, and I'm glad that she's enjoying this dinner.

"Haha, yeah. I discovered my love for gardening in high school," she replied shyly, lifting her glass for a drink.

I turned my attention to Zach who was beginning to play with his food and fed him. Through my peripheral vision, I saw Eccay sigh, making me wonder even more. Why did Enen act surprised earlier though? What's up with Trinity Knight? Or maybe I'm just overthinking and Enen just really forgot her plants, Eccay must've nudged her as a form of scold since she lost composure. Eccay is the older twin and tends to look after her. Sigh. This overbearing mind. I shouldn't ruin my mood of having a good dinner with them over my doubtful mind.

"Yes, that is true. She became the president of the Botany Club from tenth to twelfth grade," Auntie Rebecca said proudly that convinced me that I'm just overthinking.

Dinner then went peacefully right after, it went lively when it was time for dessert and we get to catch up with each other a lot more. Sadly, time flies fast and it getting late that they need to leave. Carrying Zach, I accompanied mom walking them to the door. Mom and Auntie Rebecca shared heartfelt goodbyes and begin making a plan about a girl date that will happen God-knows-when.

"It's nice to see you again, Auntie," I told Aunt Rebecca when I took my turn to bid them farewell. It was true though, aside from mom and dad, she was the only adult who witnessed me grow up and get to spend time with back then. She was like a second mom.

"Likewise, darling," she said, smiling sweetly at me and I felt my heart go mushy.

"I'd like to have some of your signature macaroons next time," I added. God, I missed those delish macaroons that she bakes for us when I go to their house and play tea party with the twins. They were so fluffy and well-baked that I go crazy over them.

She giggled, her cheeks beating red, "Oh, of course, darl! You can visit me anytime you want since I'm all alone in the house now," she said, patting my arms. Somehow, I felt a little sad for her, Enen and Eccay are now living in the city since they are working on their degree in a well-known university. It must lonely for her living all alone.

"I will, Auntie," I smiled at her and wrapped my arms around her for a hug. She stiffened for a second but eventually hugged back, patting my back as if she was comforting me and said: "Everything will be fine, dearie."

I pulled away, a smile still plastered on my face, "Thank you, Auntie."

This time, the twins came to us and Auntie Rebecca finally pulled away, went back talking to mom about their plan again.

"We'd like to ask for one final hug," said Eccay with a wide smile on her face. Eccay rarely smiles so this moment is like a blue moon to me.

"Yeah, we'll be driving back to our apartment since we have class tomorrow," Enen said with a sad tone on the last part. She was the cheerful and most emotional twin, she works as a happy pill to me back whenever I was sad because she finds ways to cheer me up while Eccay sits beside me and comfort me with her presence. They're such important people to me and it makes me sad that I spent the last three years with them only on the phone, never even sharing real experience that we could have.

"You girls," I bit my lower lip, restraining myself from shedding a tear and took a step towards them, raised my arms and engulfed them in a bear hug. It's so sweet of them to clear their schedule and drive all the way here just to come and welcome us back. I'm gonna miss them.

"We gave you our number, give us a call!" Enen said after pulling away and I nodded.

"Good night," I bid, waving a hand goodbye to them as they walk towards the twins' car that was parked nearby, slowly becoming farther away from the house.

Zach fell asleep on mom's arms and mom asked me to bring him to his room and tuck him in while she washes the dishes since she knows how I hate doing that chore. Right away, I obliged and slowly carried Zach in my arms, careful not to nudge him then went upstairs to proceed with what mom asked me to do.

When I finished tucking him in and turning on his toys that play lullabies, I hurriedly went to my bedroom and took a quick shower, excited to get to bed as I was feeling tedious and sleepy. Tonight may only be a dinner but it was an emotional reunion, not to mention that I still lack sleep and feeling homesick that drained my energy most entirely.

I was blowing my hair when my phone rang. I put the hair blower off, walked towards the bed to grab my phone, and see who was calling and realized it was my Nikki, calling for Face Time. I smiled before sliding my thumb on the screen to answer, immediately her face showed up, in close up.

"Hi," I started.

"Heeey!" she greeted enthusiastically that made me shake my head in amusement. This girl never loses her energy, a living energy drink. The view begins getting smaller and shaky as I begin to see the view behind her, look like she pushed her phone further away to give me a good see. She was on the beach and there was a bonfire, and by the burning color of her face she's having lots fun tonight and alcohol.

"How—hic! Ya doin'?" she asked, hiccuping. I clicked my tongue, this girl never changes.

I opened my mouth to answer her but a familiar voice from the other line interrupted.

"Who's that? Is that Van?"

"Is that Vanessa? Gimme the phone!"

"Fucki—hic! Wait!" the view begins getting a lot shakier and I saw Nikki having an arm reaching out like she's stopping someone. The view then became clear and still, that shows buff Seandhe restraining drunk Nikki by her arms.

"I think you've had enough alcohol," Seandhe comments as Nikki struggles free from his grip.

"No am— hic! Not! Lemme g— hic! You buffoon!" Nikki screams at the top of her lungs and there emerged laughing sounds on the background.

The view soon takes a turn and showed Harley's skinny face, "Sup there, Vannie? Everything doing good?" he asked.

"Yup," I answered, popping the p, "I was just getting ready for bed," I said then double-tapped the screen and then the one with "..." to flip the camera, slowly moving my phone to give them a good show of my room.

"Uh-huh, so this is the place where Van used to sleep," Jay's head suddenly popped on the screen, his eyes filled with curiosity and his brows kissing.

"Oh shut u— hic! Pervert!" I heard Nikki shout.

"Was that even an act of perversion?" Jay asked, confused as he begins walking beside Harley who was holding the phone, I realized he was holding a bottle of beer when he raised it up and chugged.

"If I say so!" Nikki's voice shouted again.

I tapped my phone to flip it back, "You guys having a bonfire?" I asked, watching Seandhe and Jay walk to God knows where.

"Yes. Nikki thought you shouldn't miss it," Katherine suddenly came and walked beside Jay. She looked at him and snaked her arms around his free arm, he then leaned close and kissed her forehead. Aw, this cute couple.

The view became blurry again and soon showed a breathtaking view of the sea, an another bonfire and Jay's a large tent. The view of the camera goes closer to the spot where the bonfire and tent are then soon begins to shift angles. That was when I saw letters written on the sand using a stick and realized what message it was giving:

We miss you, Vannie!

"Aw, you guys are sweet!" I exclaimed with my voice thick. I heard another set of laughing in the background with Nikki screaming what was going on. These people... gosh, why am I graced with so many amazing people?!  This is so overwhelming.

"I miss you guys too." I held my necklace's pendant, holding in my tears and my exploding chest. Why everything making me cry today? Is it "Make Vanessa Hathern Cry Day"? Damn, this sucks.