9-feelings

Simon"

I told my friends that I need to take Candy's home and they nod with no asking.

The whole driveway back to her home is so silent she opens the windshield. I take a quick peek at her. She just smiles and says

"Sorry I just don't like the smell of the air conditioner inside the car I feel like I want to puke."

I can't keep my eyes on the road

knowing she looks like she wants to cry. 

I give her mineral water 

"You ok?" I ask... 

I saw her take a deep breath 

She's in pain and is visible in her eyes. But still beautiful. I can't believe she's my fiance already just like that. 

"I'll be ok not now but someday I think."

she said, still looking at the window. I nod. Exhale hoping that someday will come. 

I look at her and smile

as her hair blowing in the open window of my car, she's like lost in her thoughts. The traffic lights signal to stop so I stop and watch her for a moment. 

I was thinking what is with her makes me feel this way?

Then the sun peeks from the clouds and my heart beats so loud suddenly. 

my heartbeat like bum.. bum.. bum.. 

what is this... he looks at her again, 

Is this what they call love? No! of course, no maybe lust is much more believable. 

She suddenly looks at me "you ok" she asks

"of course!" 

lust... he said while laughing like an idiot

"what are you saying?" 

"hehehe nothing I said you're beautiful."

tsk... 

Candy on the radio in his car

(Fall all over again) song=

(~Can't believe we met like this

Is it just a coincidence?

I had a feeling I'd be seeing you again~) 

he sang coincided with a song in a low volume. Savor the moment and feel the music.  

(~You're every bit as beautiful

Like the last time, we met

When you told me you were leaving

And going back to him~) 

you have a beautiful voice 

she said, still watching the scenery outside. 

Do you think? 

he asks while the music is still going in the background. 

(~How I wish that I could tell you

It's all in the past

But I was never good at lying

And baby since you ask~) 

she nodded, and he took a glance at her. She was so serious-looking outside, He sighs. 

(~I don't wanna hear that song again

From the night we first met

I don't wanna hear you whispering

Things I'd rather forget

I don't wanna look into your eyes

'Cause you know what happens next

We'll be making love and then

I'll fall all over again~) 

(~Can't begin to tell you

Just how, sorry I am

That the man you built your dreams around

Just broke your heart again

I think I know the feeling

'Cause I once loved you so much

And I swore I'd rather die than live

A day without your touch

If I held you in my arms

You know I'd never let you go

But this ain't the time or place

To get emotional

I don't wanna hear that song again

From the night we first met

I don't wanna hear you whispering

Things I'd rather forget

I don't wanna look into your eyes

'Cause you know what happens next

We'll be making love and then

I'll fall all over again~) 

after the song he thought is there possibly she will fall for me or she falls all over again to her ex-boyfriend, Means my friend? what if she doesn't wanna try to fall again and give her heart to someone, means to him? 

Fuck! what am I thinking? 

I look at her and here goes again my heartbeat drumming... 

I go back my eyes at the road 

"What time do you want me to fetch you tomorrow?" 

"It's up to you Simon" 

"how about ten in the morning?" 

"ok, that's fine for me."

"Where do you want to go?" 

"Mall maybe.. or wherever just like you said wandering around."

where do you meet kian? Why don't I know about you? I ask suddenly 

She looks at me again. 

"We met about a year ago at someone's party."

Candy's stop for a moment 

"we instantly fell for each other or maybe that was one-sided love. Because his feelings for me are true, maybe we already know each other years ago."

and that sucked, I thought. 

"I'm sorry on behalf of my friend," I said

I was thinking.. that was us, I'm not washing my hands cause like his friends I was like that too. Girls come and go in his life, no serious relationship, no hassle. Pure fun and free. 

" You don't have to be sorry, it's my fault I believe in him. In his words, In his fake love."

At least his being true to his intention once he meets a girl prospect he will tell directly what's the score. 

No more fake words or bubbling promises. Much more mentioning love words. 

That was their difference. 

" So how long have you been friends?"

"More or less five or six years" 

"His ex flirted with me at the bar but I ignored the cause, not my type. But he thought I was hitting on her so we fought at the bar but after we settled the girl apologized and said sorry. But kian will be kian after he knows that the girl's fault he broke up with the girl. After that we meet occasionally in every club we can say, Same feather flock together. We've been friends and so on the rest of the story."

"I'm sorry because of me you've fought."

I stop the engine and face her

"Don't be sorry is my choice to choose you. I shouldn't call your fiance for anything. From now on it's my responsibility to save you from any trouble. I will be your friend, Knight if needed, and soon to be your husband."

Candy takes a deep breath and smiles in sadness. 

"You don't have to Simon. I don't want to be a burden to anyone especially to you, I'm not your responsibility. Yes, I'm soon to be your wife. But always remember there's nothing real in this relationship." 

No words are coming out of his mouth other than choking laughter.