Chapter 7

Rahab

I sit as quietly as I can manage in the back of the car. Joyce insists on turning on the radio, after a while Seun gives in. She sings along to some pop song in some foreign language, and i resist the urge to roll my eyes, opting instead to look out the window and focus on the world passing by. 

We pass Central market in a slow drive, and i observe the diurnal traders hub, rendered eerie and abandoned in the night time. 

I sigh, I'll need to come and buy some food stuffs tomorrow. The mere thought makes me break out in anxious sweat, I don't have enough money, so much to do, yet so little to work with.

I wish my dad could help, or at least help better, I wish I didn't have to be so worried about what comes next, I wish I could go back to school again... Ha! now there's a thought. 

I place my head on the cool glass and let the melancholy wash over me, it wasn't always like this.

Once upon a time my dad took me along with him to every press conference, during his "era of fame", that is. It was a good publicity stunt, this big boxer dude and his little daughter, the public loved it. 

He was getting endorsements left right and centre, he even got one from an international foundation and opened a gym/ training centre where he coached young talent, we were living the life. 

At that point, he had tried turning me into some sort of gym rat I guess, by always taking me with him to train, but eventually we both got tired, because all I really knew how to do was cry. I cried if I fell, I cried if I was tired, I cried if I was hungry, I cried if someone was getting beat up during a match, I cried if someone tried to coerce me into practice of any kind, even now I smile at the memory, I was a wuss, still am... But it was worse back then.

All I really liked doing was being by myself. So after a while, my dad stopped bringing me to the gym altogether.

We enter a pothole, this pulls me out of my reverie. Joyce is saying something I don't quite understand because i'm not paying attention. My eyes wander to the rearview mirror, for a brief second, a car flashes its headlights at us and my eyes meet Seun's in the mirror. I quickly duck my head and look away. 

"Uh, Rahab, I got you something" he says in a quiet voice, it feels too loud for the small car, but that's probably because Joyce has stopped singing and he has turned off the radio. My breath catches but I don't look back at him or the mirror. This was a bad idea, a very bad idea.

"Joyce please pass her the carton on the floor, there" he directs but I still don't look up. Joyce tosses something into the back seat. I hesitate for a while, before curiosity gets the better of me, and I reach out to pick it up.

"Sorry Its coming late, but you weren't around, and Kuyet said you were sick, so I had to put it off". He explains, his voice sounding sheepish.

I stare at the glossy white carton in shock, I cannot believe he remembered. No one else did, not even my father.

"Happy birthday, belated sha, but eh" he croaks, giving a nervous laugh. 

"Happy birthday Rahab" Joyce adds with less enthusiasm.

Pfffft! Like I care.

I cannot look up at him, I cannot even open the box. I just stare at my hands, unmoving, on the box, in my lap.

"You kept complimenting mine when I wore them to work I thought that maybe you'd like your own pair" He rushes to add, his voice doesn't sound so sure now.  

I run my fingers round the edge of the carton unsure of what to do next.

"Do you like it?" He asks in such a tiny voice I am tempted to look up but I don't. I lift the flap a little and gasp at the red Sneakers that glow up at me from within.

"Say something! Argh!" Joyce laments. I don't think I can, I don't think I can trust myself to open my mouth without crying. We weren't even on speaking terms when he got this, i don't deserve someone like Seun, not in this life and not in the next. I cannot accept this gift.

"I c-can-not t-take it-t!" I say quietly, dropping the box carefully on the seat beside me.

"Haba, its a gift. You cannot reject a gift" Joyce chides twisting in her seat to look at me.

"Lousy hag! Just shut up!" The force with which this enters my head surprises me, causing heat to rise to my face, and the instant remorse that follows leaves me cold in its wake. I am a terrible human, granted, but I won't back down from my stance.

"No!" I say finally, louder than I ever thought possible, and without stuttering, its the little victories. Something in my face must have spoken because Joyce just shrugs and turns back without a word.

"N-no" I repeat in a lower voice. Ah, there is it.

The rest of the car ride is silent, I almost don't notice when Seun starts talking again.

"Joyce, can I drop you off at the junction, I'll drive Rahab home from here" 

Joyce's silence speaks volumes, i can almost feel her bristling. 

"J-just d-r-rop me here, I'll t-take a b-bus home from t-there". 

" Its not safe"

"S-sseriously Seun, d-drop me here, I-i c-can get-t home"

"But—"

"My dad-d w-would be ang-gry if-f I c-came h-home in a c-car, w-with a b-boy" I lie, my dad would probably be too sottish to care, I don't tell him that the real reason I don't want him to see my house is because I am embarrassed. He doesn't need to know that.

"Okay" he says after a long pause. I take my bag and exit the car as soon as we stop. Grumbling a thank you to both he and Joyce before walking as fast as my legs can take me.

A hand comes out of no where stopping me in my tracks. 

"You forgot something"

"I d-don't-t w-want it S-seun" I warn weakly.

"Please, take it, look, stuff has been going on with us and I am sorry if I caused it, look at this like a peace offering... Please"

"K-kuyet and-d her b-big mout-th" I seethe.

"Nah, don't blame her, I was the one who asked" He quickly justifies.

"I'll see you tomorrow then we can talk, about everything"

"M-my off d-day s-sstarts t-tomorrow, t-till next-t week"

"I thought we both ran the same shifts and off days?"

"I s-swapped it, W-with Must-tey" I confess 

He looks hurt by this realization and I feel even more stupid now, he knows why I changed my shift. I don't know what else to stay so instead I stare awkwardly at the floor. He pushes the box softly in my hand and proceeds to walk away, 

"Just hold on to it for now. We'll talk whenever your shifts starts" he calls out as he enters his car, I have stalked far away from his car, so that it's hard for me to see Joyce's face in the passengers seat but not far away that I don't see Seun flash me a smile. And because its him, beautiful boy Seun, I smile back, a true smile this time, with him, it comes as naturally as breathing.