FOUR

A kiss would have been nice, at least to Cain but they had really just kissed themselves. And the worst part was that it hadn't work, they were still in their own bodies. Abby was still Cain and Cain was still Abby. They could only hope that they had done it wrong. Perhaps it needed to be Cain to climb the tree since he was in Abby's body after all.

It was Abby who pulled away first from their kiss. Luckily she had been on top this time and there was no need for her to push anybody off. It is at this that Abby realizes that the last time she had also been the one on top but in her own body, but this time it had been different because her body was the one on the bottom.

"Our bodies...yours had been on the bottom last time, not on the top! My body was the one on the top! I think we have to try this again but this time reverse our roles! You climb the tree and I'll run over to you!"

Cain nodded and walked over to the tree. His body was smaller now so he was not sure how he was going to be able to climb. He wasn't even sure how Abby had managed to climb the tree to begin with. She was probably only 5'3, 5'4 at max. She was also very thin, probably even barely 100 lbs. His bigger and taller body would have been better for climbing a tree. And because of this Cain hesitated. It's not that he was afraid to climb the tree, he was just afraid that he would end up hurting Abby's body.

Abby noticed his hesitation. "Don't tell me you're afraid of climbing a tree. You afraid of falling or what? Well if you are just remember that you'll be landing on top of me so I'll be taking most of the blow here."

"It's not that. I'm just...I'm just afraid I'll end up hurting your body...I mean it is tiny and fragile, isn't it?"

He had been embarrassed to voice out his concern so he had decided to cover it up by saying she had a tiny and fragile body. He knew there was a chance of Abby feeling offended but at least he wasn't going to feel embarrassed. He just really shouldn't have said that to begin with and he should have just gone ahead with climbing the tree. Abby did have a point that he will be falling on her after all, meaning her body won't be directly hitting the ground but hitting his body instead.

"Well my body may be tiny but it most definitely is not fragile."

Abby had her hands on her hips as she tapped her foot on the ground. She just wanted to get this over with so that she could finally take that long hot shower she had been wanting to take. She hated feeling dirty for so long. She hadn't even been able to wash her hands in hours and it was starting to drive her crazy.

"Well if I end up breaking one of your bones just don't blame me for it."

Cain hesitated for a bit but grabbed on to the tree. He couldn't believe he was actually going to do this. He couldn't remember the last time he had climbed a tree. It seemed a bit childish to him to do so and it made him wonder why Abby had even been climbing the tree to begin with. She looked about his age and he had never heard of any twenty year old's climbing trees. He could actually imagine Josiah doing it but that was only because he not only was the youngest but he was also the more childish member in the group.

"Right, left, right, left, right, left."

"Huh?" Cain turned back to look at Abby confused. He had already put his first foot up on the tree so he had no idea what she was talking about.

"You put your left foot up on the tree first. I had put my right foot up first. You have to do it exactly how I did it. So start with your right. Also, you have to pull yourself up right after that third left as if you are trying to reach and grab something. And then after that you pretend to faint."

If she had been trying to reach something then it made sense to Cain why she would climb a tree.

"Is something of yours up there?"

Cain looked up to try and see if he could see anything that was stuck on the tree. He could grab whatever it was she had wanted to grab for her.

"No. Nothing of mine is up there. Now just do what I told you."

If nothing of hers had been up on the tree then why else had she been climbing it? He didn't think Abby would tell him if he asked so he just went ahead and did what she told him to do.

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. They didn't succeed that first time and they tried again but they also didn't succeed the second time. They still weren't back to their own bodies. They had done everything the same so they didn't know why it hadn't worked. Cain had been disappointed that they hadn't ended up kissing the second time around but he was even more disappointed that they hadn't switched back. And the worst thing was that he didn't have any more theories or ideas. He didn't know what else they could possibly do. Cain thought that perhaps by having his back on the tree he would be able to come up with an idea so he went down on the ground and took a seat as he leaned his back on the tree.

"Hey! Don't sit on the ground like that! You'll get my body all dirty!" And filled with germs but Abby didn't want to say that last part. She still didn't want to seem weird to him.

"Sorry. Just thought that I might somehow end up connecting with the tree and come up with a new idea."

He quickly got up and dusted off all the dirt that had gotten on him. Abby couldn't help but feel disgusted at the sight. She would never do such a thing and she couldn't believe that Cain would. He always seemed like such a clean person to her so she thought that perhaps he would care about hygiene almost as much as she did.

"Do you have any more ideas? It's starting to get late and they'll be expecting me at the dorms soon. My mom is also going to want her car back. It's past 6pm and she wanted me to get it to her by 8 at the latest. But I have to be at the dorms by 8 so I was planning on taking the car back to her around 7:30ish."

His parents didn't live too far from the dorms so at least that was a good thing.

"I don't have any more ideas." Abby said depleted.

She had thought that perhaps Cain would have some but it turned out he didn't either. They needed time to think but they didn't have a lot of time if Cain really did have to get back to the dorms. Well it would actually have to be her that will need to go to the dorms if they didn't ended up switching bodies and so far it didn't seem like that was going to be happening anytime soon. She couldn't however possibly live with seven other people. She had been living alone for years and she liked the idea of not having other people's germs around. Seven people only meant seven times the germs for her. And it wasn't like she could just keep herself locked alone inside a room because they all shared rooms with other members. Abby started to panic at the idea. She felt dizzy and it became harder for her to breath. Cain noticed this change in her and rushed over to her side.

"Are you okay? You look pale."

Cain was going to see the side of her that she did not want him to see. She was not only hyperventilating but she had also started shaking. He was going to have to know.

"I'll be okay in a few minutes..."

No matter how horrible a panic attack was, it could never last more than a few minutes. But just because a panic attack only lasted a few minutes, it didn't mean that it wasn't a horrible experience because it was. Panic attacks also always tended to feel longer than they actually were but Abby had been learning how to relax so that her panic attacks would end quicker and she would start to relax faster.

"Could you help me get to the car please?"

She needed to get someplace where she could lay down and there was no way she was going to do so outside where there were more germs than anywhere else.

"Sure." Cain didn't know what was going on but he still helped walk her to the car. He was afraid she might actually faint again.

Abby pushed the seat down so that she could actually lay down instead of just sit. It wasn't as good as a bed but it was going to have to do. She closed her eyes and tried to take slower breaths. It seemed like she was taking no air in at all but she knew that was just a feeling and that she was actually able to breath just fine, she just needed to calm herself down.

Minutes passed and she started feeling her heart rate slow down. She no longer felt dizzy and she was finally able to breath a bit better. Not only did laying down help her but so did closing her eyes because this was her way of shutting everything off, all those things that made her panic were gone at least for a moment. It was like the Spanish saying goes, "Ojos que no ven, corazon que no siente." Which in English translated to, eyes that do not see, heart that does not feel. The saying was supposed to refer to something else but it applied to her in this way and so closing her eyes helped her.

She opened her eyes and found Cain was staring at her. It was an awkward situation but it would be even more awkward if she didn't explain to him what had just happened.

"It was a panic attack. I get them sometimes. What usually causes them is my Agoraphobia but most recently my Mysophobia has started causing them as well. And this time it was Mysophobia that caused my panic attack."

"Agoraphobia? Mysophobia?"

Cain didn't know what either of them meant. He did know what a phobia was but he did not know what "agora" and "myso" meant.

"Well Germaphobia is another term for Mysophobia. I'm pretty much sure you know what Germaphobia is." He nodded. He did. The name explained it after all but he had not known that there was another name for it.

"What about Agoraphobia?"

"It's basically a fear of crowded places. It's the reason why I never went to any fansigns."

Not only had she not gone to fansigns but she had also never been able to go to a concert before. She always had to buy the concert DVD's just so that her huge lightstick collection would be put to use while she watched them. Waving her lightsticks at a TV seemed silly but it was the closest experience she was ever going to have to that of being at a concert.

She had always wanted to go to a concert but was never able to, not because she lacked money but because of this horrible illness she had. She had been happy when some Kpop groups started having virtual concerts online due to the Coronavirus, it was probably the only good thing that came out of that horrible virus.

"You started having the panic attack right after I said I was going to have to go back to the dorms soon, was it because of that? Is that what caused your panic attack?"

"Yes. Because you live with seven other people and share rooms with other members. It would be hard for me because of my Mysophobia. I even want to take a shower right now because of my phobia of germs. But how can I when I'm not even in my own body..."

"I could take a shower for you if it'll help you feel better." Cain saw no problem with that. It was at least something he could do for her.

"No! Please don't!"

Abby was too shy for that. She barely even knew Cain and it would just be too weird if he looked at her naked body. And not only that but she also didn't want him to see all the scars that she had. She always tried to hide her scars from everyone because she thought they were ugly and hence made her ugly.

"Besides, it's not only my body I want washed...I'm not in my body right now after all...I'm in yours..."

Cain didn't know how to respond to this. He honestly wouldn't mind if she saw his naked body but he was sure she probably wouldn't feel fine doing so.

"I...I took a shower this morning..." He hoped at least that would make her feel better.

"But your body has touched all these things since then. And not only that but people cough and sneeze and all that is in the air which then eventually gets on our clothes."

Abby looked down at the clothes Cain had chosen to wear for the day, a plain short sleeved white t-shirt and jeans. At least his legs had been covered but his arms had been exposed to all the germs. She would have felt better had he been wearing a long sleeve shirt or a hoodie but it was of course too hot for that. She had been the only one at the clinic with a hoodie on.

Abby started to analyze all the things she could do in order for her to alleviate her anxiousness.

"I could wash your clothes but your arms have been exposed since you wore a short sleeve shirt. I guess I could wipe your arms with disinfectant wipes though but it wouldn't be the same as taking a long hot shower."

Cain wasn't sure if Abby would be down for it but he had just gotten an idea.

"I have an idea."

"Really?! About how to switch back?!"

Abby seemed excited and he felt bad that he was going to have to crush her hopes. He realized he should have just told her his idea straight out instead of just telling her he had an idea.

"No...Sorry...I meant about this situation. I have an idea as to what we could do. You want to shower but you also don't want me to see your body and you probably also don't want to see mine so..."

He wasn't sure if he should say it but Abby was looking at him expectantly and he had already started saying it so he had to finish saying what he started.

"We go in the shower together."

"The sh-sh-shower? To-to-together?"

Cain had the habit of ending things midsentence and Abby had the habit of having dirty thoughts. Cain realized yet again that he should of went on explaining because Abby's face had gotten red. It was redder than Cain had ever seen his face, he didn't even know it was possible for it to get that shade of red.

"Yes but we each close our eyes and we just clean each other's body. You do me while I do you."

Do? That sounded so wrong and Abby felt like she would actually get a nosebleed this time around. She had to shut him up before that happened.

"Could you please just stop talking and start driving?"

Cain nodded and turned on the car's engine. After a while he realized that he didn't know where he was driving to.

"Where exactly do you want me to drive to?"

"My apartment. We'll be taking our shower there because I'm sure we won't be able to do so at your dorm."

Abby couldn't believe she was actually agreeing to do this but she was desperate to get both her body cleaned and the body she was now inhabiting.

Since Abby was Agoraphobic and hardly ever went out, she was not able to give Cain directions on how to get to her apartment so instead she had to use the GPS on her phone. It turned out that she didn't live too far from where Adam lived, they were probably only 10 or 15 minutes away. She would have never imagined that her bias and favorite group lived so close to her. Yet at the same time they were so far since she was basically unable to go out due to her Agoraphobia.

"Do you live alone?"

Abby knew that he lived in a dorm with his group members but he didn't know if she lived with anyone. Perhaps she had a boyfriend or even a husband that she lived with. He looked down at her left hand but did not see a ring on it. So no husband but perhaps a boyfriend he thought. And just that thought alone bummed him out.

"I live alone."

Cain brightened up at her answer but he knew that her living alone didn't necessarily mean she did not have a boyfriend. But at least her not living with a guy meant that she wasn't in a serious relationship. It would have been awkward if she was and she lived with them because then that would mean that he would have to sleep in bed with another guy and possibly even do other things that no guy should ever do with another guy, at least not straight guys like him.

"So how do we do this?"

They had already gotten to her apartment and were standing in the bathroom but Abby didn't know how they were going to get out of their clothes.

"I guess we could just close our eyes and take off the clothes that are on us."

"You mean I take off the clothes on your body while you take off the clothes on my body?"

That was something only couples did, take off each other's clothes. Abby started blushing again. It had been a long time since she had taken clothes off from a guy but now she was not only going to be taking off a guys clothes, but her bias clothes. Never in her wildest dreams would she have imagined this. It was only something she ever read in fanfics and it was like her life had somehow suddenly become one, a very strange one that is.

Cain proceeded to do as he suggested. He closed his eyes and had started taking off the clothes Abby had worn for the day. She followed along and did the same while being careful not to touch anything she shouldn't touch. She hoped Cain would do the same. She never thought of him as a pervert so she hoped he wasn't.

"Are you done?" Cain asked Abby as he was fidgeting with her bra.

He was having trouble getting it off. He didn't know how bras worked or which way was the correct way to take them off. No one knew but Cain was still a virgin. He had had two girlfriends before becoming a trainee but he had been young then and at that age couples weren't really starting to have sex yet. He had a few friends that had but neither of his girlfriends had wanted to risk getting pregnant at such a young age so he never took that step with either of them.

"Yes, are you?"

They both still had their eyes closed and were going to keep them closed so there was no way for either of them to know whether the other was already undressed unless the other said so.

"I'm not able to get the bra off. Could you perhaps help?"

Abby had to put her arms out to feel her surroundings. All she had managed to touch were the walls though.

"Where are you? Can you keep talking?"

She felt like she was playing La Gallinita Ciega, a Mexican game that kids played where one of them was blindfolded while they tried to tag another player. The game literally translated to The Blind Hen. It was a fun game as a kid but she was neither a kid and the situation they were in was most definitely not a game.

"I'm over here. I don't know where you may be but I think I'm by the shower since I can feel glass behind me."

It had been a bad idea for them to take off their clothes outside the shower. They should have really just went in and taken them off once they were in there.

"Do you want me to stay here or should I try to find you as well?"

Since Cain was already by the shower she figured that it would be better for him to just stay there otherwise it was going to be hard for them to find the shower again. Her apartment's bathroom was definitely big enough for that. Her apartment was actually one of those rare big ones in Seoul, it was really like a luxury apartment since it was more American style than Korean.

"Stay there. I'll go to you. But perhaps you should rap or sing so that I can keep hearing your voice."

Cain started rapping some of his parts from different Adam songs. There was a bit of an echo though and that made it harder for her to find him but Abby wasn't going to give up, she was set on finding him. She tried to move slowly because she didn't want to end up hitting herself on something. She was basically walking like a blind person but instead of using a cane she was using her arms to feel where she was going.

"You said you were by the shower, right?"

"Yes, I think so. I can feel some glass and I don't think it's the mirror either so it must be the shower."

"Ok well try to go in and turn on the shower."

If his rapping wasn't going to be enough for her then she hoped that at least the sound of running water would. It took a few seconds for Cain to find where to turn on the water but he was finally able to find it after moving his hands around on the shower tiles.

"I think I'm close by now."

Abby was still feeling around her surroundings when she finally felt glass which she only hoped was the shower. Cain was still rapping and his voice was louder than before, she didn't think he had started rapping louder so that could have only meant that she was finally near him. Her bra was going to be all wet by now though.

"Cain, could you extend your arms out? I'll do the same. Let's try to see if we can feel each other and this way you can help me get in the shower."

"Ok. I'll do that. And I can actually hear your voice much closer now so you really must be near the shower."

Abby wished she had shower slippers on because she felt like she was about to slip. There was water under her feet and that must have been because Cain had left the shower door open the whole time. It only made sense that some water had gotten out of the shower area.

"Cain! The floor is slippery! I don't think I can—"

Just then Abby ended up slipping and felt her head hit something. Cain heard the loud thump and tried to rush over to where he heard the sound. The floor really was slippery though and he too felt like he would end up slipping. He grabbed on to whatever he could get a hold of to try to keep his balance and then tried to slowly get down to the floor so that he could crawl to wherever she was.

Abby was probably not going to end up liking the fact that he was crawling on the bathroom floor since he would only be getting more germs on her body but at least he was going to prevent himself from slipping. It was already bad enough that one of them had slipped.

"Are you okay? Does it hurt? Want me to open my eyes so that I can help you?"

Abby knew that by Cain opening his eyes to find her, he was going to be looking for his own body but at the same time he was going to be able to see her own body as well. Even if he tried to prevent from looking down, there was still a huge mirror on the bathroom wall and looking at that mirror was unavoidable.

Abby felt like crying because she really did want Cain to help her up but she also didn't want him to see her naked.

"Are you crying? Does it really hurt that bad? Do you want me to call an ambulance?"

She had not only felt like crying but she actually was. She started feeling her face wet with tears.

"No! Just...just help me please..."

Abby knew there was no other way. She probably wasn't hurt enough to actually call in an ambulance but she was afraid that she would end up slipping again if she tried to get up.

"Does that mean I can open my eyes now?"

"Yes but I'll keep my eyes closed so don't worry."

Just because he had to see her body in order to get to her, it didn't mean that she had to see his.

"It's okay if you do. It actually might be better if you did. You wouldn't want another accident to happen, right?"

He would still help her out and make sure she neither slipped or hit something so it wasn't actually necessary for her to open her eyes but it only felt fair that if he got to open his eyes, then so should she.

"Please don't judge my body. I know you're perfect but I'm not. I got those scars from surgeries I had some years ago. It was something unavoidable."

Abby was referring to the scars she had by her stomach. She had needed to get surgery right after getting into a car crash where her liver had ruptured. A part of her liver had needed to be removed in order to repair the injury and not only that but her spleen had also ruptured. She hadn't known about her spleen being ruptured until a few days after and she had to go back to the emergency room to get a second surgery. It had a been a traumatic experience for her and the accident had actually been what initiated her Agoraphobia.

"What are you talking about? I'm not perfect and I won't judge you either. I actually think you are beautiful and no scars could ever change that opinion of mine."

"Do you really mean it?"

Cain didn't know what part she was asking if he meant but he did mean all he said so he just replied with a yes. But what Abby had really been referring to was that if he really thought that she was beautiful. She didn't think of herself as beautiful, at least not after she had gotten the scars.

"You can open your eyes. That way you'll see that I'm actually not as perfect as you think. No one really is if you ask me but just because you are not perfect it does not mean that you are not beautiful. So don't ever forget that."

Abby hadn't opened her eyes but at feeling a hand holding hers, she opened them.