LOGINWithdrawn in my mind, I thought of Amalia, what would have happened if we had just let the soldiers do what they wanted. Or if I hadn't interrupted whether someone had betrayed Amalia? Or would everyone have held together? I didn't know what to answer myself to the what-if questions. But I'm afraid I would have a guilty conscience that I would have plagued me day after day and night after night had I just stood there and done nothing.
I knew myself what it was like to be outcast, I knew what it was like to be beaten up because you are different from 'normal'. But what was normal? Why wasn't I normal just because I was wearing black clothes? Wasn't I normal because I found other things more important than the things that the 'normal' found important? Wasn't I normal because I wanted to be alone? Or am I just one of the victims who were chosen at random because no one else was around?
I didn't know the answer to any of these questions, but I knew that I am who I am and that I would not have wanted to change for any money in the world. I'm different, so what? That's how I am, those are the things that make me stand out. If I were like the 'normal' people, then I would not be myself and that would be a real shame because I liked myself for who I am.
But what is 'normal', nobody can say that exactly, because who defines it? I feel normal, I don't really know what to change either, because I liked myself for who I am. If you don't like me, you just have to live with the fact that I am not what you want me to be, I am a free-thinking and free-acting being.
Now I thought again of the soldiers' laughter and how uncomfortable it felt. How do you think the dark elves feel? They must have been more than embarrassed to pull me after them like a small child.
....
He pulled me behind him for a while, the other two didn't pay any attention to us, why should I, I would have spared myself the sight.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to embarrass you." I mumbled to myself.
"I beg your pardon?" Came from Moran, I ignored his question, I didn't want him to see me at the moment, I wanted him not to turn around and just keep riding and pulling Storm behind him, because I made a face , like seven days of rainy weather. I really didn't mean to embarrass her, but who could have guessed that riding was harder than I thought.
"Ride ahead, we'll come later.", Moran informed the other two and just stopped. Have I misheard myself? Has he really asked Odim and Sirez to ride ahead?
Well, that can be cheerful, now I'm sure to get a lecture in which he tells me that he can do without dragging me behind him, that I'm a block on their legs and that he doesn't feel like me anymore to accompany them longer in order not to be embarrassed again, although we only started an hour ago. Should my journey with you come to an end here?
The two horses of Odim and Sirez ran away at a gallop and after a few minutes they could no longer be seen. It was clear to me that the two of them were happy to finally be able to really start riding, because even I couldn't stand the snail's pace. Moran dismounted and came over to my left and looked at me.
"Get off, we have to talk."
After a long silence, something started to shake me and I heard someone shout my name over and over again. The voice looked familiar to me, but I still couldn't place it. I didn't know what they wanted from me or who wanted something from me. In any case, I just wanted my peace and quiet, but I wasn't allowed it. The shaking grew a little stronger, the screams louder, but I didn't want to react. Who would have ever expected that your mother would see to it that you were buried? If I was so wrong about her, would I ever find out why she took this step? The shaking got stronger again and the screaming louder, now it was too loud for me, the shaking too strong, it was increasingly annoying me, so I opened my eyes to see who couldn't leave me alone.I saw two horrified golden eyes.“Moran? What the hell is going on? ”Were my first annoyed words, then he looked at me in amazement.“I wanted to ask you that, you cried in your sleep and kept asking wh
We rode through the forest for a while, I saw a few foxes, rabbits, deer, we even rode past wolves. Beautiful animals. With Moran, the forest is only half as scary, which may also be due to the fact that it was bright day and not night. I felt very comfortable in his arm, I barely felt the pain in my throat. After a while I even fell asleep in his arms, hugging him very closely, I dreamed of kissing him for the first time, telling him about my feelings, just having him to myself. I don't know how long I slept, but it was already dark again, so we rode through the whole day, but further ahead there is a light, no, a campfire.I slowly woke up when we got closer to the campfire and when we got there I also saw Odim and Sirez sitting around the fire and grilling a wild boar over the fire. Only now did I notice that I had eaten the last thing since yesterday morning; if I were alone, then I could have eaten the whole pig, the hunger was so great.When Odim saw us he said:
Why was my life going so bad? First everyone hates me, then I find people who like me and who want to help me, then I also meet dark elves, including a very nice one and then exactly this one killed me in his anger. I no longer feel anything, no sensations, such as feelings or physical nature, I am weightless and outlawed. I feel good here in this nothing, because it is dark so that nothing could be seen, but it wasn't cold either. It felt nice to be here where nothing could happen to you anymore.Somehow my consciousness still seems to persist, what would I give to see Moran now, but maybe it's better that way, because he wouldn't be able to see me, only my dead shell, which is now at his feet. But I would still be interested in whether he finally recognized me, even if it is too late. But something is in nowhere, I can't describe it, it's warm. I always thought that the dark nothing is cold and then you go into the warm light, because that's how it was always described. But
We sat in silence by the campfire for a long time until we lay down to sleep, tomorrow will be a long day because we still have to catch up with Odim and Sirez so we can ride on together. I suspected that I would wake up alone the next day, but then there was this trust that I couldn't explain to myself. Also this night passed me dreamlessly, but still something was different, I felt something warm and soft on my cheek, but could not assign it, so I had to open my eyes for better or worse to find out what it was.Then I saw two golden eyes and a charming smile.“Good morning, I hope you slept well? I would let you sleep longer, but we should leave. We won't catch up with Odim and my brother, but we shouldn't stay too long in one place, if the soldiers only gave us a hangover. I found a little stream over there, so you can freshen up a little. I'll pack up then so we can go when you're done. "Now a moment has come when I would love to give him the fatal bl
Great, the thunderstorm not only hit my insides, but also my whole body, but how do I explain that to him now. I can hardly tell him that I suspected I was in love with him. He went to his horse, took something out of one of the bags that hung on the saddle and brought it to me. It was black fur, he put it around my shoulders, I was touched, so he's worried about me, even if only a little. Somehow I had the feeling that I could trust him with everything, he was so kind-hearted, I couldn't believe that they wanted to kill him. He was a wonderful creature."What are you looking at me, is everything okay, why are you crying?"I cry? Now I feel a tear running down my cheek, can I believe it, there is actually someone who is worried about me, not just Amalia but Moran too. He wiped the tear from my cheek. At this moment I could be described as happy and sad at the same time, because I had to leave Amalia behind.Suddenly I felt a pressure on my shoulders, when I look
So I dismounted, which didn't look particularly graceful, as I had never sat on a horse and was therefore unable to dismount. He looked deep into my eyes, a few seconds longer and I would have lost myself in them."I can do without dragging you behind me, so you're just a block on our leg that we can't use."Great, I should have become a clairvoyant by profession, that means saying goodbye. I am allowed to move on by myself, that had to come to this.“So I'll teach you to ride in a hurry, show you a few tricks on how to defend yourself, should someone attack you and I am not there, and then we'll ride after them. Do you agree? "But now I've misheard, right? Is he only doing this because I saved his life? A simple thank you would have been enough, but it can't hurt, maybe I'll get to know him that way and he'll get a different opinion of me. If I'm lucky, he even likes me, but I'm not that lucky, because I've rarely been lucky, if not to say not at