Chapter 44~ Reminiscing the past

The room was silent, pastor Fredrick, pastor Mrs Williams, Isere, Isere's father all turned to look at Isere's mother as she began to speak.

"I was scared pastor, I only did that to prevent the past from repeating itself. I was scared my past would hunt me so I decided to do all I can do prevent it," Isere's mother spoke.

"By locking me in the house and beating me for saying certain words?!" Isere scoffed.

"Katherine, she is your mother, have some respect for her,"  Pastor Fredrick said to Isere. Isere kept mute as let her mother continued.

"I am a victim of God's grace and love and if not, maybe I might be in hell for my treacherous and immoral ways."

"Interesting," Isere muttered with sarcasm.

"I have led  a very wrong path which put me in a tough situation later in life but was saved by my husband here." Isere mother sighed.

"I was that girl who believed she had it in life, my parents were the type who didn't say much or cared about our welfare; and if maybe they did, they didn't show much. They didn't punish us whenever we did something wrong. They never cared if you left the house in the morning and came back late but as long as you are alive, they didn't mind."

"I was the typical example of those girls that wanted to try all, wanted to experience it all and do it all. I did drugs, I smoked, i partied, I had sex." Isere's mother chuckled lightly. "Funniest part was I ran away from home at age seventeen to be alone and be a boss lady."

Isere gasped, she was caught unaware by her mother's confession, could this really be the woman who acted as if she had never touched another man other than her husband before?

Could she really be the woman who acted as if she she had never watched people kiss before or the woman who has never said inappropriate words in public?

Isere shook her head, this was really not the mother she grew up with, the mother she grew of with were the opposite of what this woman in front of her was saying.

"At age nineteen I had my first abortion!" Isere mother spoke out with a pained expression as she recalled the past she buried deep down inside of her.

"Jesus is Lord!" Mrs Williams spoke out.

"God is good," Head pastor Fredrick spoke, placing his fingers chin as he listened to her.

"I almost died, I was in a complicated situation that I nearly lost my life." Isere mother spoke.

"At twenty three, I did another abortion and this time, my womb was nearly punctured in that process and instead of me to abstain, I didn't, I went more deeper."

"I had this faith that as long as it didn't kill me, I still have more time to continue with my immoral attitude, and I did." Isere mother swallowed the lump in her throat.

Whenever she recalled the past,  she cried because she was the reason her mother died, she was the reason for so many issues in her family and she deeply regretted her actions.

"At age twenty five I had my third abortion in Dubai and that was when reality became dawn to me, I was told by the doctor I wouldn't be able to give birth no more." 

"The news came as an electric shock to me, what makes me a woman if I couldn't give birth? What man would want to marry me? I have never had an interest in marriage before and when I lost my womb, thoughts like that came to me." Isere mother began to shed tears.

"I was suddenly forsaken by those i followed to Dubai, I had to snuggle my way back to Nigeria to go find my family only to..." Isere mother paused, she cried out loud, she placed her palm on her chest, sooting them.

Memories of the past taunt her till date, and the fact that Isere looked so much like her when she was younger hurts her, as she sees her past in Isere, the more Isere grew, the more she got scared, the more she wanted to prevent the past and protect Isere.

"Only to come back and find my mother's corpse!" 

"Jesus is Lord!" Mrs Williams spoke clicking her fingers together.

Isere suddenly felt pity towards her mother, her eyes became teary when she heard it. It still baffled her that he mother had a past like this considering how her mother acted and lived.

Isere sighed, never judge a book by its cover, she thought.

"According to the story I heard from my older sister," Isere's mother sniffled while wiping her tears with the back of her palm.

"She mistook someone for me and went after the person, she didn't look at the road as she kept calling the person my name, thinking I didn't want to answer her, she ran after me without looking at the road and that was how she met her fate." 

"My sister hated me, they rejected me from coming back to their life and cut ties with me. I was thorn, hungry and disheartened, I asked to be given the privilege to pay my last tributes to my mother but it was rejected."

"I never heard from my family after that day and even when I tried finding them I couldn't."

"I felt useless and miserable but I blamed my parents still, If only they had cared more about our where about and disciplined us more, just maybe I wouldn't be as loose then."

"I was angry and hurt, my life was ruined, I didn't know how to start or where to start from until God sent Frank Osagbai to me."

"He saved me while I was about to commit suicide, after hearing my story, he promised to marry me. I was shocked and grateful, he knew I couldn't give birth but he made such promise to me."

"If he hadn't seen me that night and saved me, just maybe I would be dead, just maybe I would be in hell, i was given an opportunity by God and I promised to treasure it."

"It took me over sixteen years of barrenness before God answered my prayer and made me whole again by making it possible for me to be pregnant again." Isere mother cried out.

"I REGRETTED my actions, I cried for days and years, blaming myself and my parents for my wayward life. I tried forgiving myself so I made a promise to God."

"I made a promise to God to raise my child in his way and definitely the opposite of my life, I promised to make sure she learn and know about God alone and I'd make sure she live in his ways."

" I did all I did because I wanted her to not be like me, anytime I look at her, I see my younger self, it hurts so much because fear and reminder of the past shook me everytime."

"I did it because I loved her and wanted the best for her and even after it all, she still got pregnant!" Isere mother cried out.

Pastor Fredrick sighed, "Mrs Osagbai, it is well. God is great and I am grateful he kept you alive and that's because he knew you had a vital role to play in this life." 

"You had your ups and down and you took steps you believed were right but forgot that, training children of now adays, you have to make them  mistake to realise it just like you made mistakes and later realised." Pastor Fredrick lamented.

"You had a good intention but did it in a wrong way. You could have told her your story, give her reason to live in the way of the Lord and not force them on her."

"What will be will be, most children learn more when they listen to real life experience, most learn when they make mistake and realise, most of them learn when they are calmly spoke to while most learn from the hard way."

"You don't force the way of the Lord on people because the more you do it, the more they run away, the Bible said God gave humans free will and it was for a reason, for us to know our good from bad and our bad from good."

"You enforced your will on her and even after that she got pregnant, If you had told her and explained more using your experience to enlighten her, a different case might be the issue now."

"Your past shouldn't make you bitter but better and you should have used that to train her very well. You had your REGRET and all got better later." Pastor Osagbai sighed, he turned to Isere.

"Katherine, I know you are lieing about your father impregnating you and I want you to be honest with me. I want you to tell me the truth because a child of God does not lie."

"Be honest with me, who is the father of your child and why did you pin it on your father?"