Chapter 30

I feel tense and sad almost all day. Many thoughts are railing in my head and it feels like everything is spinning at this point.

“I need to go” I say to myself unsure.

Now it feels like a bad decision staying back at school.

My parent now appeared to be right anyways plus the mid semester break gives room for an extra week to get my shit together. I really cant remain in this state curled up for too long.

Something makes the fear in me suddenly spiral at all the manners of evil that could happen while staying alone in this hostel and I need to go far away from Drew.

Telling him to stay away wasn’t just enough after all...

I pick up my phone and dial my dad’s number

“Hello...” 

My voice 

“Hey Dad...” i try to clear up my voice so he doesnt notice anything went worng with me.

I cant imagine the panic attack that could follow up and I dont wish nor want to be a part of such if my parents sense what’s going on with me .

I inform him about the added holiday and my will to return home for the short break tomorrow...

He’s overly excited and pleased about it.

And it makes me surely aware that he preferred me staying around.

We end the call shortly and Drew comes up in my head one more time.

I try to distract myself by getting to arrange my essential belongings for the short break I’m about spending at home.

After enough sobbing, I feel my eyes get heavy and I’m not sure when I drift to sleep.

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After the whole welcoming and joyful air, I walk up to my room.

It still looks just the same...but arranged 

Who was I kidding? I’ve only be away for close to three months so what change was I expecting ? huh?

I want to laugh but it doesnt even come out.

I move my small belongings to one side and plop on my bed

Super fluffy...how much I’ve missed this.

I really want to sleep for the next couple of days without any disturbances even though I know I cant.

I really hope the change in environment helps me escape from thoughts of Drew.

The bubbled anger in me now turned into sadness and I dont...I mean dont want to think of it at all.

 I hear a large thud from somewhere and it makes me jump, bringing me back to my senses.

Must be the kids down floor playing roughly, I sigh.

“Renee..!” I hear my mum call from the kitchen

I dont have the 0.1 minute strength in me to respond.

I sigh and get up from the bed moving over to the kitchen where I heard her call from

“Your food..” she’s holding up a ceramic plate of jollof spaghetti with fried fish and vegetables...

I sigh because I know I am not able to refuse the food even though I’m not in the best state to feel like eating but I can’t man up to the reason.

“You want more..?” She asks about to serve more

“Ahh noo...no..” i reply collecting my plate and fetching for a tray.

“Your feeding habit still hasnt changed..” she teases

On a normal day, I’d have responded with a smile or something 

But today, my face remains still, pretty emotionless

I dont like how I allow Drew’s action get to me this way.

I mean...it’s something I know could happen and should anticipate for

Maybe I didn’t want it soonest...or I don’t understand 

I shut my mind from it just as fast as it pops up before i start to sob and adding more damage to my mental health.

I take in a mouthful of spag to distract me.

“Mmmm..” this really feels good

Truely, there’s no place like home.

I wanted to stay away from this place by all means but here I am, even eating up from the same home 

Thinking of seeing Drew upon resumption gets to my head and it makes a tint of pain pass through me.

I wonder how my mind flew to such thought again.

Clearly, a part of me still wishes to see him but my anger had bubbled up enough to not want him around anymore.

I hate this mixture of feelings bottled up inside me.

Just wonderful how just a single person can control and mess with your mind when he pleases.

“Renee you got lean in school...” my Sister appears beside me

“School changed you...” she says

I scoff

“Dad said you decided to transfer to Radiography department...” she continues

“I’m sure you like it..”

I roll my eyes..of course I do

“You’re not saying anything “ she pouts

Thats when it hits me.

I haven’t uttered a word since

I dont even know what to say

“Sorry...i feel exhausted...” i tell her

“Ohh the journey back home must have been uncomfortable...” i nod blaming it on the ride

So much for Drew...i think to myself.

“I’ll help you return your plate..get some sleep..” she offers packing up my tray

I get up to leave then turn to tell her thank you.

I couldn’t be more nicer.

I roll my eyes and return to my room and increase the fan

Since I just ate, I feel some energy replenished at least

I should bath but I decide against it...I just change into a singlet and shot and jump on my bed

“Ohh she’s back..” i hear from outside my room window.

Obviously Sam.... more reasons I’d be indoors till i am ready for resumption to school..

I can still hear his deep voice and it irritates me the more especially from thinking about how he felt I’ll change after getting into school..

Fool..!

I think to myself and smirk

I pick up one of my pillows and bury my face inside it...

Soon I drift in this long ass calling sleep.