Chapter 4: No Secrets. Remember?

As I pulled the covers over my body and finished getting ready for bed. I allowed that hope to mix with my newfound willpower and I spent way longer than I should have been sleeping. I couldn’t stop not with that tiny voice in my head that kept continually egging me on to hurry up and find her. It would taunt me saying I was running out of time and reminded me that she needed my help now more than ever.

For once fate answered my prayers and I was finally able to find the door that leads to our town. I began to refer to the stars as doors since they were like portals to a new world. The door I had needed all along was 45 down on the left. When the location resonated, I found myself standing in the middle of Ellis Park just 15 minutes away from the sanitarium.

I was walking in my astral form and I could feel with every step I took that my sleeping body in the real world was trying to awaken. I allowed the sleep fog to push my alertness down and out of my way. It was so hard to not allow myself to awaken and lose all my progress. So, I talked myself through it as I went through several floors of the sanitarium and finally arrived on the 3rd floor where her room was assigned.

There was nothing that could stop me from contacting her tonight in this form. Even though I had no idea what room she was in. However, I still knew that it was in the hallway on the left-hand side and that was good enough for me. My body went through wall after wall until I found her 6 bedrooms down on the left.

Apparently, she shared her room with another girl who looked to be in her late 20’s. It was half the size of mine at home and 4 times smaller than my garage. I hated the all-white interior but even more, I hated the bars on the windows. I knew deep inside that Willow would have absolutely hated the bare walls the most which would have caused her to either paint the walls or put up any of her paintings she kept hidden for emergencies in her garage.

Her roommate was sound asleep while she was wide awake laying down and staring up at the ceiling not moving. Slowly, I moved toward her trying my best to not scare her again or cause another episode to trigger. Once I got into her field of view her mouth opened but no sound came out. It was like she was trying to talk to me, but the words just couldn't form.

In that moment as I stared down at her I could hear nurse Judy's voice in my head like she was right here with me again giving me advice, "She may talk with you eventually in her own way."

Those words gave me a brilliant idea. I walked closer to the top of her head and I could feel my astral form changing as I reached inside. My body began to inhabit hers and I could feel once I was fully submerged because it felt like something had clicked right into place. The part that really shook me and caused me the most pain was that in the darkness I could feel the same familiarity that I only experienced with Willow.

I searched around frenzied as I tried to find her, "Willow are you there?" I called out.

As I took a step further into the darkness a series of images began to populate in my mind. This caused the room to brighten around me. It was like we were somehow on the same wavelength and she was communicating that it was her by sharing photos of us together. The age ranges of the pictures were scattered throughout the years both young and old as the slideshow progressed. They were only moments that Willow, and I would know about and that made me smile.

Without even having to ask she let me know that she was here, and she remembered everything, "Oh, Willow. I am so glad you’re still here with me. You have no idea how much I have missed you! It has been hell without you."

She responded in the only way that she could as she reminded me of the time I came home from camp for the summer. We hadn’t seen each other for an entire 2 months but still found ways to write to each other every day.

I smiled at her and stated, “Yes, I miss you now just as bad as I missed you back then. If not more.”

How was she able to communicate and share memories with me? The familiar feeling had been replaced with sorrow and then I was seeing her sitting back at the chair in the sanitarium. It was so strange as the various clips merged creating a live video that had no sound. Not that it really mattered what I told her. Eventually, my words transformed from questions to her to just talking about pointless things like school gossip and my breakfast that morning.

Even though it was like they were playing on mute I knew that she was listening to every word. What I couldn’t hear I could feel through her emotions as each moment passed varying from eagerness, frustration, and sadness. It must have been so upsetting to have your body betray you as it prevented you from human contact, communication, and the simple self-care that we all take for granted.

Before I could stop myself, I felt my non-astral form turn in her sleep. My body was beginning to get restless from sleeping too long which meant I didn't have much time left.

I had to ask the big questions now while I still had a chance, "Willow, I’m going to have to leave soon. But before I go you have to tell me what happened to you."

As soon as those words left my head all I could see was a wall of blackness surrounding me as if she were intentionally keeping me out. Knowing that she was afraid I tried again

"You need to talk to me. You know that I am always here for you. Maybe I can help fix this." I demanded.

The black wall remained up and unmoving which made me start to feel really irked off. How was I going to help her if she refused to open to me?

I used the only card I had as I threatened, "No secrets, remember?"

I watched as the walls slowly began to dissolve around me and were replaced with one picture. I wasn't sure what the picture was of exactly, but the one thing I did recognize was that it was an image of a bar. My eyes narrowed trying to focus on the photo, but it was nearly impossible to make out anything that could identify the bar or its location. The moment I began to think that there was something familiar about the bar the image was gone, and a new image was in its place.

A picture of the hottest guy I had ever seen. None of the guys I went to school with could even compare to his baby blue eyes. Even his black hair that fell right above his ears looks as if it belonged on the cover of a popular fashion magazine. His carefully manicured nails and his strong muscled body was more perfect than I could ever dream of in the opposite sex. Where has he been all my life? If I had seen him before maybe I would have tried dating someone before now.

There was just no place for drama in my world right now. I had finally gotten over my father’s death and was afraid of letting anyone else in my life that didn’t plan on sticking around. All I had time for was getting into college and saving Willow. Plus, there was something about his smile that brought up a big red flag for me. It was like he was hiding something or up to no good. The same one kids get when they have either already done something bad or are just about to. I needed confirmation on how he was involved. Someone like him wouldn’t cause harm to someone, intentionally would they?

My eyes scanned in front of me as I demanded, "What does this guy have to do with what happened to you? Is he the reason you are like this?"

I could feel her fear returning to her and then the beautiful image of him was gone and I was there yearning to see his face once again.

The blackness began to fog all around me, and I grew angry and resentful toward her, "Friends don't keep secrets Willow! You can always talk the talk about no secrets but when the tables are turned look at you! You won’t even talk to me!" I shouted.

I could feel her fear growing stronger and stronger and then the blackness was pushing in on me. Before I could say another word, I felt a real heaviness surround me and was expelled outside of her body. Like a rubber band, I was thrown back to my body and collided hard like a bulldozer.

The pressure from how fast I was sent flying back had caused my body to wakeup experiencing the feeling of all the wind being knocked out of me. I stood up from my bed and took in several deep breaths in and out until my breathing was back to normal. When I laid back down all I could think about was the guy from the photograph.

There was no way that she showed me the image of him intentionally. If that were the case, she wouldn’t have challenged me at the end by sending me back here in order to protect herself. Against my better judgment that he was somehow involved in what caused her to be this way. I found myself thinking about what it would be like to have him as a boyfriend. What kind of person was he really?

I forcefully pushed those questions from my mind and lay back down on my mattress. There was leftover residue from the raw emotions we both shared with one another tonight it was there as a constant reminder of her pain. Tonight, was a complete success. That means that today is going to be a day filled with nothing but answers.

I had found her just like I promised myself I would do. She was my person and I would always be there for her whenever she needed me the most. What Willow really needed from me was to get to the bottom of what happened and to find a way to bring her back to her old self. I will find out what happened to her and who caused this. Lastly, I will make them pay for what they have done.