Chapter 13

No one knew the consequences that I took to survive from Sarah’s ghost haunting me day in and day out it took a lot out on my mental mind that she could take a chance and hurt me as a ghost though she never did for the time she stuck around in our bedroom. I had no idea how much time had past but when I heard a voice from my bedroom door I swore it was Sarah though the person confirmed it’s Natalie. I know I have PTSD, Anxiety, Stress, Depression, and other forms of health problems that I can’t pinpoint one I do know exists but I refuse to see a doctor again to have them diagnose me with more problems. I have been lucky to survive from Sarah’s abuse even when she was weak and dying, she still had a way of letting me know I was worthless and not worthy to be with her. I loved her and still do that is why I never gave up on her. Sheila has tried to get me away from this home for years, to move some place new and fun, live life to the fullest but I wouldn’t leave Sarah’s ghost floating around this place because of someone else. Being locked in my room for too long I did finally leave it to find myself face to face with Natalie, the woman I adore came back but when I heard her say she would always be here for me. I don’t remember much of anything since being in my room. I couldn’t filter my anger for long that I ended up lashing out at Natalie and taking it out on her because I keep denying what Sarah had done to me but my best friend has no filter herself and fills my head with more words of what I already know.

After hearing them out I decided to go back into my room and make myself feel good with a nice clean shower, nice clean outfit and go out to be with my horses. I had no idea what else to do with myself or why else Natalie would still stick around knowing that my wife treated me so bad but I do like Natalie more than I thought I would of someone whose so patient with me as I have a break down over Sarah. Once, I got downstairs to reveal myself they both were stunned at how I went from being depressed to now looking like a decent human without being cooped up in my bedroom. Natalie looked so gorgeous in her flannel shirt, tight jeans and boots that I gave her if anything can get me over Sarah is Natalie’s beauty and gorgeous looks that impressed me.

“Amber, are you okay?” Natalie asked.

“Darlin’ I am perfectly fine, you and Sheila can go rest easy while I take care of what needs to be done around here. I will be making dinner here at five.” I replied.

That made them both stunned, neither of them prepared for such a response but as I made my way to the horses I heard Natalie come up behind me as I turned around and glared at her, it wasn’t that I didn’t want her company but I needed space to think some more and enjoy my horses. I knew Natalie cared when she didn’t dare step back inside and go rest like I told her but I could see she needed to speak about something even though I had a feeling that it wasn’t something we weren’t ready for.

“Amber, what is going on with you? You look at me like we’re in love one minute than you faze out over Sarah. If you need to see a doctor let me take you, I will be beside your side for anything that is going on.” Natalie said.

“Darlin’ I see ghosts, I have PTSD, Anxiety, Stress, and Depression those I am diagnosed with at least the medical stuff not the ghosts part. As for anything else I can’t speak of. I do care for you and admire you from afar but Sarah is still around in this home. I won’t leave her for someone else to deal with.” I replied, feeling my anxiety rise from telling her.

“We can take all of this with us to a new place, minus the house of course but it wouldn’t be hard to get a contractor to make a new one in a new location for you to recover. I am sure your parents would have appreciated it and your siblings would understand, yes, I saw pictures of your family. We can do this if you can trust me.” Natalie responded.

“No, I can’t do that not with her ghost still here. Now this discussion is over. As for us, we still have yet to discover that since you have other issues going on. You are beautiful inside and out but I am not ready to risk everything we have got so far.” I replied, as I began to walk away.

“Wait! Amber, don’t push me away. Listen to me, please.” Natalie responded.

I didn’t dare listen anymore that someone thinks it is simple to move away and begin a new on some property. This is my home, my life, my siblings would hate me if I left this world behind. We don’t talk and our parents are gone but I can’t do that no matter if they understood or not. I couldn’t turn around to face Natalie though I could hear her footsteps behind me, all I wanted was to be alone though that seemed impossible when a city woman that attracts your interest insists on following you.

“Natalie, please go back inside.” I said as I kept walking.

“Natalie is back inside.” Sarah replied.

I turned around to see Sarah but she wasn’t actually there, it was weird to me. I turned back to walking without daring to look back and with finally reaching the stalls, I felt relief that no one followed me any further. Once I got inside though I saw a figure standing near Nelle that I nearly couldn’t believe who it was and I wanted to go back inside my own home so badly.