Thirty Seven: Going After Kelsey

She managed not to cry when she left his hotel room. She told him to take a shower as she left because she didn't want a sappy farewell that will make her weep the entire day. So they left it at that. The memory of their last day together was to be remembered as something extraordinary and beautiful.

When she arrived in front of Nathan's villa, she took a long deep breath to ready her for what's waiting. She took long, slow and dragging steps toward the house, expecting to see both Nathan and Kelsey for another awkward social situation. The house was quiet, she opened the sliding door from the balcony and stepped into the kitchen. There was only Nathan.

"Where's everybody?"

Nathan sat on the island stool, not looking his best. "Kelsey ... umm ... she left."

She raised her eyebrows, put down her bags on the floor. "Left where?"

He looked down on the kitchen counter, played with his phone then turned it off. "She went back to Gastonburry."

Her heart sank. Kelsey wouldn't leave without telling her, and it wasn't even Valentine's Day yet.

"We broke up," he added.

She swallowed hard, "What did you say to her?"

He looked at her, "The truth."

She waited for him to be more specific.

"I told her I knew about her affair ... and that it didn't matter ... because I'm in love with you."

She fell on a chair, and covered her face with her hands. "Oh my God ... Nathan ... why did you do that?" She felt like the ground beneath her had swallowed her whole, "How did she take it?"

Nathan shrugged, "Bad ..."

She grunted, "Oh God ... how bad?"

He exhaled, "Bad enough to call me all sorts of profanity ... she yanked the lamp on my bedside table, threw it to my face ... she missed, then she practically turned my bedroom upside down."

She held her head with both hands, it was worse than she thought.

Nathan approached her and took her hand, "Can we talk about us now?"

She couldn't believe he was asking her that, "There is no 'US' Nathan, don't you see? Especially now ... I have to go back and fix this, why did you have to tell her that? Are you purposely turning us against each other?" she raised her voice.

"What? No! I was being honest, because I want to do this right ... I can't lie to her and then be with you behind her back, I don't want that," he defended his decision.

"We can't be together ... she's already hating me now, I don't want to lose her, Nathan, I have to go and fix this."

"If she loves you as much as you do, she will understand eventually ... she hates us now but we can prove to her that it's real, that's all I'm saying ... I'm willing to work hard for this, Julie, I'm hoping you would do the same."

She folded her arms in front of her. She paced back and forth. Her breath was increasingly faster. "You're gonna have to work harder than that ..." tears were swelling up in her eyes.

He felt uneasy, "What do you mean?"

Her cheeks were wet, she pressed her lips together trying to calm her shaking body, "Because I slept with Preston."

What she said had ripped his heart apart, his face drained of colors. "Why?" was what came out of his mouth. His head was spinning, he couldn't wrap his mind around it.

"You would never understand my reasons," her voice was barely audible.

"Were you drunk?"

She shook her head, "No."

"Why are you doing this to me?" his heart was breaking and it was all over his face.

The look on his face felt like a knife through her stomach, she was about to lose everyone she cared about, all in one day.

"Oh ... I get it ... you did it so you can come back here and throw it on my face ... is that how bad you want to get rid of me?"

She can see tears starting to form in the corner of his eyes, she couldn't say a word, it was killing her too.

"I thought we had something worth fighting for ... I guess you don't feel the same way," he kept his voice calm even though he was burning inside. He turned to walk away.

"Nathan ..." she called out.

He raised a hand, "Don't ... I can't even look at you right now."

He went to his bedroom and slammed the door. He felt queasy, his stomach couldn't handle it. The image of her making love to Preston while he was breaking up with Kelsey took it's toll on him, he threw up in his bathroom.

**********

She had to leave. There was no other choice. There was still two more weeks of her internship but the damage was done, and she had to go back and try to save her friendship, if there's still anything left to save. She left Nathan a simple note saying "I'm sorry" under his door. He didn't come out to see her. She didn't blame him.

The eight hour flight to Gastonburry wasn't long enough for her to try and understand the situation she was in. One day she was surrounded by three people who loved her, and now she had no one.

Arriving at her dorm was just as hard as arriving at the villa. She hasn't been in contact with Kelsey since that night at The Rockabillies, how much have happened since.

She opened their dorm room and found Kelsey was sitting by the window, looking outside. Her face was wet with tears. She knew who was coming and didn't bother to look. She folded her knees and hugged them.

"What are you doing here?" her voice was trembling.

"I came to see how you are," Julie stepped in and closed the door behind her.

"Well ... you've seen it," she tried hard to keep her voice steady, she turned to look at Julie, "Now leave me alone."

She exhaled deeply, "Kells ... let me explain."

"No! You had that chance for months ... you don't get to say anything now, it's' too late!"

"I didn't want to tell you, how could I?"

"You could've told me the truth, is that so hard to do? I thought you're the good one, Jules, always high and mighty, always do the right thing? You couldn't tell me the truth?"

She didn't respond, she was trying to find the right words to say.

"I knew there was something going on with him, the least you could do was to tell me he was having a crush on you ... instead, you lead me to believe that everything was fine, you even convinced me to leave Zach and made me look like an idiot when he dumped me over you ... when you knew all along! How could you do that to me? Did you tell him about Zach?"

"What? No! Gosh ... that sounds terrible when you put it that way, that's not what I meant to do, Kells, you have to believe me."

"Well that's exactly how it felt like ... I was so ready to patch things up with him, and then he gave me the cold shoulder in front of his mom, and then told me it was over because of you!"

Julie rubbed on her eye, the argument was getting more intense. "He found out about you and Zach ... I don't know how, but he did, I told you that before ... what do you expect him to do? I didn't tell him anything about Zach, I swear to God."

"I didn't' care about your affair, I'm in love with Julie, that was his exact words ... he dumped me for you, God! How long has this been going on behind my back? Did you sleep with him on the bed that I slept in?"

Julie gaped in horror, "Is that what you think happened? There's nothing going on between us, Kells, he never touched me, he didn't even tell me about his feelings until the day before you came with Preston."

Kelsey fell silent, she had assumed the worst. When she heard what Julie had said, she couldn't decide whether it was better to know that Nathan was truly in love with her best friend. "You didn't sleep with him?"

"No ... it was awkward, but nothing happened ... you know me better than that, I would never."

They can hear a pin drop for a moment. Kelsey's tears was drying up. "Are you in love with him?"

She folded her arms and lifted her shoulders. She couldn't say it, it was going to make her cry. They both sat in silence.

"Are you going to be with him after this?"

Julie shook her head, "No."

"Why?"

"That's never an option for me ... he's your boyfriend."

"Was."

Silent again.

"I slept with Preston."

"You what??" her eyes were bulging in disbelief. "How did that happened?"

Julie sniffled, "He told me he was leaving ... I guess I was selfish, I wanted to be with him one last time, no strings attached, because he's ... Preston," she covered her face with both hands. "God ... how did it all got so messed up?"

Kelsey took a deep breath, "You sure you didn't do it to sabotage whatever it is with Nathan?"

"I told him about it, now he hates my guts ... am I the kind of person who would do something like that?"

"You just did," Kelsey knew her best friend more than anyone.

"I don't even know what's right anymore."

Kelsey stood up, she was not ready to console on her when she needed consoling herself. "I'm gonna take a walk ... by myself ... clear my head for awhile, it's been one hell of a weekend and it's not even over yet."

Julie nodded, "I'm sorry Kells ..."

Kelsey looked away, pushing the tears that was about to pour out of her eyes again, "I'm sorry too."

Her apology was sincere, and she didn't even need to say she's sorry. It wasn't her fault. Nathan fell in love with her because she was the kind of girl he wanted to be with, Kelsey knew that all along. "He never touched me" Julie said, and he was already falling head over heels for her.

She loved Julie, and Julie loved her. The things they would do for each other are beyond what they expected. But this was different, they've never had a problem with a guy before. She knew she had to not let the situation ruined her friendship, and the only way for her to do that was to be okay with it. Which was something that doesn't seem possible to do.