After Tonight

Three years later

 "Nova? You remember the condo owner no'ng college ka? Gusto ka raw niya makausap."

Napakunotnoo si Nova sa bungad ng kaibigan niyang si Olive. It has been almost a decade since she left the unit. "Si Tita Joana? Why? May renta ba akong hindi nabayaran?"

Olive giggled. "Baka! I saw her in a coffee shop. She couldn't get a hold of you daw noon kasi mukhang nagbago ka na ng cellphone number. At nalimutan na niya ang pakay niya sa 'yo, nakita lang niya ako kaya naalala niya."

"Siya pa rin ba ang may-ari ng condo?" usisa ko. "I'm quite busy, the wedding is in three months. Pero kaya ko naman siguro siyang i-meet. Nakakahiya kung may hindi ako nabayaran!"

"Hindi niya kasi sinabi sa akin, eh. Anyway, I'm really happy for you! I just found out that Coby was a good friend of my cousin way back in high school. You're in the hands of the right guy, finally. I love you and I'll call you back later," paalam ni Olive.

"Yes. Love you, too," nakangiti niyang sagot. Nang matapos ang tawag ay inilagay na niya sa sling bag ang cellphone. Abala siya sa pag-che-check ng listahan ng mga kailangan para sa kasal nila ni Coby.

She heaved a deep sigh. Hindi niya akalain na darating pa ang isang Coby sa buhay niya. Ramdam niya kung gaano siya kamahal nito. That he would do everything to make her happy to make her feel loved and valued. After three years, Nova can finally say she is ready to give it all again, to the right person.

Nang magawi ang mata niya sa listahan ng mga alak na i-se-serve ay bigla niyang naalala ang gabing iyon. Bahagya siyang napangiti. Sa isang gabing magkasama sila ni Grey ay hindi niya pinagsisihan. It may sound wrong but the feeling was just right. Grey is the one who was there during the most painful night of her life. He was a stranger but he never left her alone. He never let her feel lonely and left out.

She wondered, nasaan na kaya ito? The morning after, they had coffee and talked about the things they like. Gusto na niyang mamatay noon but Grey told her if she would kill herself, he will too. Seryoso ito kaya naman hindi na niya nagawa ang kabaliwang iyon na dulot ni Sebastian.

"Ano'ng tawag sa nangyari sa atin? One night stand?" she asked. Masakit at mabigat pa rin ang kalooban ni Nova. Nakatingin lang siya kay Grey na abala sa paghalo ng kape niya.

"Yeah," sagot ni Grey at nag-aalangang ngumiti. "Because you can now stand without him?"

Natigilan siya pero unti-unti siyang natawa. "Funny ka rin, 'no?"

Nagngitian silang dalawa at itinuloy ang pag-inom ng kape, sa kilalang coffee shop.

"You're a nice guy. Naniniwala na ako na gusto mo lang magpasaya ng luhaang babae," pahayag ni Nova. "You know what I am praying right now? Sana wala kang girlfriend ngayon."

Napataas ang isang kilay ni Grey habang natatawa. "Why? Gusto mo na ba akong maging boyfriend?"

"Siraulo!" natatawa ring sagot ni Nova pero muli siyang nagseryoso. "Because what we did will hurt your girlfriend. I am too selfish not to think of it. Alam niya man o hindi, I still feel guilty. Though I know I'm not the only one whom you fucked overnight."

Nangibitbalikat si Grey. "Well, maybe the stars are all in favor of you."

"Wala kang tunay na girlfriend? Single ka? Seryoso?" Natawa nang tuluyan si Nova. "Bakit?"

"Bakit? Kailangan bang may girlfriend ako at this age?"

"Hindi naman. Kung sabagay, loko-loko ka rin. But I can't really fully blame you, marami talagang babaeng assuming at humahanap ng good time. You're handsome and you're good in. . . yeah."

"Why? If you personally met me first, gagawin mo ba akong boyfriend?" nakangiting tanong ni Grey. Narating na nila ang sakayan ng taxi.

Nova shrugged her shoulders. "Hindi ko alam. Siguro? Parang masyado akong uhaw sa pagmamahal noon kaya kahit di ko pa nakikita si Sebastian, mahal na mahal ko na siya dahil sa mga sulat niya."

Marahang tumango si Grey. "You're worth more than what you can imagine. You deserve the best in life. I hope the next time we meet, hindi ka na maglalasing. At napapansin mo na ang mga bagay sa paligid mo kasi hindi ka na nakasentro sa iisang tao."

"Ang lalim naman no'n! So?" nakangiting pahayag ni Nova habang binubuksan ang pinto ng taxi. "Thank you and I hope we'll meet again someday."

Grey hugged her tight for the last time before she gets inside the cab.

Hindi sila nagkapalitan ng numero. Hindi nga niya nalaman ang apelyido nito. That night was full of emotions that they did not need to know each other personally.

Isinara niya ang listahan at nagpasyang maligo. Mukhang kailangan niyang dalawin si Tita Joana, ayaw naman ni Nova na maikasal na may atraso sa ibang tao. As much as possible, ayaw niyang may inaalala si Coby sa kanya.

---

Nova decided to drop by the nearest coffee shop in the old condo unit Joana owned. Hindi na ito katulad ng dati, mas nag-improved ang condo at mas tumaas kaysa noon. She could still remember the days she spent there.

She called Joana and she said to meet her in her office at two. Isang oras pa ang ipaghihintay niya kaya naman dito muna siya sa coffee shop magpapatay ng oras. Masyado kasi siyang napaaga, ine-expect kasi niyang traffic pero hindi.

She was busy sipping her brewed coffee when a guy approached her.

"How's your coffee, Ma'am?"

Nova looked up and to her surprise, it was Grey. Hindi niya agad ito nakilala. Grey looked much more masculine. May kaunti itong balbas na nakadagdag sa personality niya. He was wearing a beige long sleeves paired with a black jeans.

"Hey!" nakangiti niyang bati. She did not expect she would see the man she was thinking a while ago. "Kumusta ka na!"

Grey smiled and sat in the chair in front of her. "Well, you're inside my coffee shop now. Nasarapan kasi ako sa kape na ininom natin noon kaya nag-franchise ako."

"Big time, ha?" she giggled. She was still overwhelmed with the fact that Grey is here. "How's. . . everything going?"

"Ganoon pa rin. . . just without the 'fuck everyone who initiates'," he almost whispered and winked at her. Bahagyang ngumiti si Grey.

Natawa si Nova. "It's good to know. As for me, things were not easy but life must goes on. Uhm, well. . . I'm getting ma--"

"I know," Grey answered. "To a guy named Coby Jester Santilla?"

"How did you know? Stalker ka 'no?" natatawang tanong ni Nova. "Siguro naka-follow ka sa Instagram ko, ano? Madaya ka. Samantalang ako, pangalan mo lang alam ko. How did you---"

Natigilan si Nova nang mag-ring ang phone niya, si Joana iyon. She gestured Grey na sasagutin niya lang saglit ang tawag. Naroon na raw sa office ang pakay niya kaya kailangan na niyang umalis.

"I'm sorry, but I have to go," Nova apologized. "Andito ka ba lagi?"

"Why? Bibisitahin mo ako?"

"I'll send you an invitation," Nova answered. "I'll give you two. Isama mo ang girlfriend mo. . . or asawa? And if you already have kids, just tell me." 

Natawa ito. "Just one invitation will do."

Namilog ang mga mata ni Nova. "Hanggang ngayon, single ka? Wow! Magkuwentuhan tayo ulit, when I get back."

Grey just nodded and waved her goodbye.

Nova reached Joana's office on the tenth floor. Hindi pa rin ito nagbago, pero bahagyang tumanda ang hitsura ng mayamang may-ari ng condo.

"I've been meaning to talk with you for ages! Goodness!" bungad nito sa kanya at niyakap siya. "Kumusta ka na?"

"All good!" nakangiting tugon ni Nova.  "I really missed this place! Mukhang lalo ka nang yumaman, Madam."

Pumasok ang babaeng sekretarya sa opisina na may dalang dalawang tasa ng kape. Inilapag nito iyon sa mesa atsaka mabilis na lumabas.

"I just had my coffee," naiiling na pahayag ni Nova. "But God knows I can't resist it."

Joana laughed. She sipped her coffee before speaking, "I heard you're getting married! I don't want to eat so much of your time so I'll be straight to the point." Ibinababa nito ang tasa at kinuha ang malaking shoulder bag.

Pinagmasdan lang ito ni Nova habang inilalabas ang isang envelope. Iniabot nito iyon sa kanya.

"Listahan po ba ito ng mga unpaid rent ko noon?" natatawa niyang tanong. Binuksan niya iyon at ilang mail envelope pa ang nakita niya. Halos mga luma na ito.

"Pagkatapos mo maglipat, may nagpapadala pa rin ng sulat sa 'yo. Isang linggo rin yata. Hindi na kita mahagilap kasi nasira na ang ulo mo sa boyfriend mo kaya itinago ko na lang," pahayag ni Joana.

Hind alam ni Nova pero tila parang may kumurot sa kaliwang dibdib niya. Bumalik sa alaala niya ang mga sulat noon ni Sebastian. Sinunog na niyang lahat iyon kasabay ng mga alaalang dapat niyang makalimutan.

Napailing siya. "Sana hindi ninyo na po itinago. Wala na pong halaga ang mga 'to ngayon."

Napailing din si Joana. "Itatapon ko na nga sana, aabutin na ng isang dekada na ang mga 'yan. But the thing is, two or three years ago. . . may dumating ulit na sa 'yo nakapangalan. Andiyan 'yon. The one na medyo bago-bago ang envelope. I kept it kasi baka importante. Wala ring sender."

Bahagyang napanganga si Nova. Mabilis niyang inisa-isa ang envelope at hinanap ang kakaiba. When she finally found it, she opened it without hesitation.

"Nova." It was dated the year Sebastian and her broke up. Ito na ba ang last message niya para sa kanya? Nova slowly opened the letter.

Nova,

You don't know how much I really wanted to be near you. I feel a little guilty that I took the opportunity in your weakest and most fragile hours. Iniisip ko kasi, ito na 'yon. I could not let the moment slide. That moment took me back to the time I was counting the days, the months, the years I was contented just by seeing you. No matter how wrong it was, that night became the whole meaning of my life.

You don't deserve a bad guy. I love you and I am sorry.

Mabilis iyong itinuping muli ni Nova. Hindi niya maintindihan ang sulat. Bakit sasabihin iyon ni Seb? Ipinapamukha ba nito sa kanya na ng gabing nahuli niya itong may kasamang babae, ay doon nito natagpuan ang tunay na ibig sabihin ng pagmamahal?

"That guy is really a jerk," naiiling niyang pahayag. "All these letters are bullshits." Naka-move na siya sa ex-boyfriend niya pero hindi siya makapaniwalang nag-abala pa itong sumulat para masaktan siya ulit.

Nowa is thankful she didn't get the letter that year.

"Kilala mo na ba sino ang nagpapadala?" usisa ni Joana.

"'Yung ex ko pong si Sebastian," nakangiti niyang sagot. Wala nang dahilan para kainin ng inis at galit ang sistema niya. Tapos na ang mga masasakit na alaalang iyon.

Napakunotnoo ang matanda. "Sebastian? Sigurado ka ba?"

Marahan siyang tumango. "Ito po 'yung mga pinanggayuma niya sa akin," at binuntutan niya iyon ng tawa. Ibinalik niyang muli sa envelope ang mga sulat at inilagay ito sa bag niya. She's gonna burn those later.

"Ganoon ba? Ang sabi kasi no'ng katapat mong unit dati, si Jasmine? Naalala mo? 'Yung may boyfriend na Indiano? Nakita niya raw, 'yung katabing unit mo ang nag-iiwan ng sulat."

Namilog ang mga mata ni Nova. "Katabing unit?" Hindi naman dito nag-co-condo si Sebastian noon. Nagsama lang kami sa condo na nilipatan namin pag-alis ko dito. Hindi ko rin kilala masyado ang mga andito noon. Palagi lang kasi akong nasa loob. Si Jasmine lang ang natatandaan ko dahil halos lahat ay kinausap niya, nagtitinda kasi siya ng school supplies.

"Baka nagkakamali lang po," sagot niya. Her phone vibrated. May message na si Coby na nakauwi na ito galing sa meeting. 

Nova stood up. "I'm sorry, Tita Joana. I should be going. I'll visit you again some other time," at niyakap niya ito.

Gumanti ng yakap ang matanda. "Yes, please. And kung may mairereto ka sa akin, please do so. My body is quite dehydrated."

Natawa si Nova sa ibinulong nito. She waved her goodbye and walked her way out of the office. Nag-book na siya ng masasakyan habang nasa elevator siya kaya naman naroon na ito nang makababa siya.

When she finally sat at the passenger seat, muling sumagi sa isip niya ang mga sulat. Totoong napalaya na niya ang limang taong alaala niya kay Seb, pero pakiramdam niya ay may mali. Hindi siya mapakali. It seems like something is off. Inilabas niya ang envelope sa bag niya at kumuha ng isang sulat.

Nova,

You looked so happy today. Something great happen?

Anyway, I hope you're always like that.

Binuksan niya pa ang isa.

Nova,

This is the first time I'm asking but... did you really move out? I heard the news from the owner.

Naginginig niyang tiniklop muli ang sulat. Bumalik sa alaala niya ang araw na nagkakilala sila ni Seb. Seb was a friend of her classmate, Joy.

She remembered the day Seb knocked on her door. Inutusan daw ito ni Joy na maghatid ng art materials sa kanya. A letter was on his feet. From that moment on, inaabangan na niya ang mga sulat ni Seb. Nabanggit kasi ni Joy na may gusto sa kanya ang kaibigan nito.

 Before she said yes to Seb to be her boyfriend, she confronted him about the letters. Seb smiled and revealed himself. Matagal na raw siya nitong gusto. She loved him even more and decided to stay with him for the rest of her life. Mahal na mahal niya ito noon.

Years after, when she was trying to reminisce about those letters, isa lang ang sinasabi ni Seb, kalimutan na niya iyon dahil naaalala nito ang sariling ka-corny-han.

Nova's head started spinning. Ngayon niya lang nag-sink in sa utak niya ang lahat. Seb knew she was moving out, dahil siya ang nag-suggest na magsama na sila. Why would he asked about that? And why whould he still left letters when we were already together?

Nanlalamig ang mga kamay, tinawagan niya si Joana. Mabilis naman itong sumagot.

"Darling! Why? May naiwan ka ba?" masayang bati nito.

"T-tita, may record ka pa ba kung sino 'yung sinasabi ni Jasmine?" tanong niya rito.

"Oh. Wait let me check. Hold on." Tinawag nito ang sekretarya. Nova could hear her flipping pages. "Here it is. Hmm. . . Hariette. Hariette Cruz."

Bahagya siyang nakahinga siya nang maluwag. Nagkakamali si Jasmine. Babae ang nasa katabing unit niya noon.

"Si Hariette 'yung katabi mo sa kaliwa pero sa kanang unit mo. . . Gregory Castillo."

"P-po?"

"Ah! Natandaan ko ang batang 'to. Katulad mo 'to hindi masyado naglalalabas. Pero maaasahan 'to sa paggawa ng gripo. Naalala mo no'ng may exam ka tapos nasira gripo mo sa CR kaya nagpa-panic ka hindi ka makaligo? Siya 'yung nag-ayos no'n."

Nabitawan ni Nova ang cellphone. Mabilis niyang kinuha ang sulat na binasa niya kanina sa opisina ni Joana. Everything is flashing back on her mind.  She could not clearly remember the scene with that guy but one thing is for sure, Sebastian was a fake.

Nova,

You don't know how much I really wanted to be near you. I feel a little guilty that I took the opportunity in your weakest and most fragile hours. Iniisip ko kasi, ito na 'yon. I could not let the moment slide. That moment took me back to the time I was counting the days, the months, the years I was contented just by seeing you. No matter how wrong it was, that night became the whole meaning of my life.

You don't deserve a bad guy. I love you and I am sorry.

Unti-unting umagos ang luha sa mga mata niya sa di malamang dahilan. The night Seb and her broke up, was the night she met Grey. It was in the same year. It was at the same time. That letter was from the same Gregory Castillo.

Then she remembered Grey muttering her name the night they met. Did she mention her name to him? No. But he was calling her name to stop. He was murmuring her name while grabbing her hard as the sensation of that moment found their peak.

What was all of that? Why?

"K-kuya, pakibalik po. . . sa coffee shop po malapit sa condo kanina."