LOGINShare
10. LEFT BEHIND
publish date:
2020-10-30 03:10:04Nisha was missing me badly. Her loneliness killed her from deep inside. We had a talk on phone where she cried her eye’s out. She was feeling low. Her anxiety was bursting her head. I used to remain busy in meetings and couldn’t give her time. Negative thoughts encircled her mind. I tried to embrace her on call, and ended with a sweet kiss. I followed our daily routine and it went for a few more days, and finally, my date of departure came.
I had my train at six in the morning. It was 4 o’clock, and I was packing my bag when Riya called to wake me up to make sure we reach on time. I surprised her with my fresh and energetic good morning wish. She got to know I was awake and ready. She came to drop me at the railway station. She was silent while sitting beside me on bus. Our last morning moisturized her eyes with tears. Her tiny drops of tears destroyed her liner. It was about to fall, but her eyelashes held it hard. Her dry lips lacked a moisture she possessed. Her painful face forced me to stay with her for a few more days. It was damn enough to understand, which I guessed even. She will miss me a lot. I found myself a culprit for her painful scenario in her life.
It was only a few minutes left to leave her. We were sitting on the platform, near my train. Our throat struggled to utter a word. It was an awkward silence. From howling of the crowd to her nose, suffering to breathe, I heard her cry in a few seconds. Her tiny drop of tears, which she controlled for a long time, got their way to flow heavily. Her eyelashes couldn’t bear a deep agony, so she discharged, and it rolled down to her lap. I too had managed not to cry, but her wet eyes threw me and my emotions in deep sorrow. I tried to confront her and wiped out her tears. I don’t know how it hit her mind. She requested me to sing a song. It made me speechless. What the hell, she was talking. A song at when we were crying. It made me baffled
“Are you crazy?” I asked.
“Won’t you do at least this much for me? I am going to miss you so badly. I don’t know when will we meet again. I even don’t know will we ever meet again or not.”
I stopped her in the middle of her emotional dialogue, which was blackmailing me.
“Ok! Let me think.” I confronted.
I used to listen to sad songs a lot. So, I croaked some lines of a song which I loved.
“O Likhi khat mein maine tujhe baat jo…” (A sad song).
A song from a movie, Airlift (Bollywood). I sang a paragraph. I don’t know how and why I landed on it. My separation hit me hard and gave me a severe pain, which we come to experience only when someone leaves their family behind and goes far away from where coming back is a big question. To my surprise, I thought she will smile, but she cried more and more. I was damn sure I sang much better than Arijit Singh. Then I noticed I was a big duffer.
“What a moron I am.” I said to myself. “You must be expecting something lovely but I ended up with this dead song.” I giggled to make her smile. With no clue in my mind, I grabbed her in my arms. I patted her back and cradled her hair. Her hair was wet as she had taken her bath only a few hours ago. Her smell of her body forced me to grab her for more time in my arms. She too grabbed me hard. It was what she needed. I allowed her to soothe herself in my arms. Her long and sharp nails pierced my back. She wanted to give a wound as a symbol of love, which would stay with me forever. People stared at us, but it didn’t bother me. I told them F*** off. Obviously in mind.
Finally, it was time to leave her, to inhale at Bangalore for a last time. It was a time to feel the city of techies with peace, to leave behind those memories, and the toughest, to leave Riya. With all those formalities of bye and take care, I turned towards my train, which was ready to take me to my Nisha, who was waiting with pearls of tear in her eyes. Even after half an hour of my journey, my eyes were wet and it was tough to control. A tremendous pain didn’t allow me to breathe. I slept, and run away from this harsh situation. After sometime, tears stopped and sleep began.
Nisha was excited and kept counting down like a child. She texted me randomly. Thank god my mobile had network. I enjoyed her innocent messages about my arrival. I flushed whatever happened between Riya and me, and landed to my city of joy, Kolkata.
I hugged my mom hard and then my sister. Next day I met Nisha, and she too grabbed me harder like never. We spent lots of time in our college, which had become our living room. While going home, she told me something which struck me hard.
“You don’t smell the same.” she said with one leg on stairs of the bus and another on earth. I don’t know what does she meant but, I felt that. I was about to ask what does she mean, but till then she got on the bus and it left with a pain.
I was dumbstruck. The power of true love is so hard. Only by spending a few hours, she told the reality.
I missed Riya every time I enjoyed a sweet presence of Nisha. Day by day our business expanded, which required a long conversation. I remained busy with Riya by making someone jealous. Nisha behaved like a frustrated nomad. Every time she found me busy with Riya on call, she became furious. She used to stay irritated. Every time we ended our conversation with an argument. All her illogical argument was meaningless. I knew the reason of her irritation very well but I couldn’t cure. She wanted me to stop talking with Riya, which was not possible from my side.
Latest chapter
A Mistake that changed my Life PERSONAL EXPERIENCE
When a boy says he wants to go away from relationship, try to stop him. He might stay.But when a girl says she wants to go away from relationship, don’t try to stop her because she has already gone from her mind even before telling.Pearls in love is tough to findAs you know some love is blind.Dealing with damage like beggars without choiceGiving my story a sweet, broken voice.Promises of life burnt in fireTogether we stay, I still desire.Once in life you too will flyI wish we meet above the sky.As a writer, the only thing I tryReading my story, I hope you cry.I will succeed as I am wiseIf I bring tears to your eyes.Pleasure of life left with mysteryWriting my journey, the rest will be history.Dedicated to my school-life girlfriend who left me alive to die every moment
A Mistake that changed my Life 27. NEVER BELITTLE LOVE
Who knew, seeing her in that railway station would be our last meet. Who knew, wiping her tears would be the last chance to show my care. Who knew, the crave to see her in that blue lehenga will remain unfulfilled. Who knew, whispering of her wish in that bus ride of getting man and woman next year will just remain a sweet wish. I wish I knew, tears will leave her eyes and stuck to mine forever. I wish I knew, the one who gave hopes in life will shatter so brutally. I wish I knew, the crave to hug her in that railway station will never get fulfilled. I wish I knew, I had to weave our dreams alone forever. I wish I knew, she will take away all my happiness and leave my body with a deep wound forever. I wish I knew, my dreams of being with her forever will end up being with her wounds. I wished lots of things.Kartik and Ankit tried a lot to convince her, but they were futile. So, they ended up confronting me with a shoulder full of sympathy. I came home early from the ba
A Mistake that changed my Life 26. THE TENTH DAY
7th June 2019.The sun was not the same when I woke up early. Morning tasted different to me. It didn’t warm me any more like before. It was not as bright as before. It was ten long days we remained with no proper conversation. It happened for the first time in the history of our ten incredible long years of relationship. I tried to keep aside these thoughts for a while and attended our morning meeting of our boring bank manager.I was helpless. I was self-obsessed with these thoughts till our bank manager finished his monotonous speech. And the moment it went over, I pushed the door and came out of his cabin. I distanced myself from the bank and called Sunita, Nisha’s female cousin, who was here in Kolkata. She knew everything about our relationship. She was the only person in her family who knew a lot of stuffs about us. She was less a sister and more a friend of mine. I called her twice but both times she disconnected. My mind encircled wit
A Mistake that changed my Life 25. THOSE TEN DAYS
I shared our concern with our close friends including Ankit, Kartik, and they were ready to sign the court papers. We needed minimum three witnesses to get registered in court. So, I arranged them and ordered to be present with no delay, whenever I call. They were obedient and desperately wanted to accept us together forever.It was early morning when I received a text from Nisha about reaching her village with no hurdle. I thanked god when she reached safe. I was worried how would she travel such a long journey in such a worse condition. What if she gets some ache? Lots of questions ran in my mind, which faded away by her text.It was over three weeks, we hadn’t met. I missed her the entire day. I described what was going on in my mind. How much I was worried about her. I texted her in WhatsApp. At night, I waited for her text badly. I described every twist and turn off my bed. Everything which came across, from missing her to worrying about her, I t
A Mistake that changed my Life 24. COURT MARRIAGE
My blood was boiling, and I was sweating with anger. Every time, I fought a new battle in my mind. Every day I had to face new challenges in my life. Challenges which broke me out and built me up together. And when I asked her, after coming out of the manager’s cabin. Nisha burst out crying on call. In deep pain, she said.“I don’t want to attend my cousin’s marriage. So, I intentionally slid off the ladder of computer class. But unfortunately, it hit me hard on my leg and it’s paining like hell. You please come fast. I couldn’t walk.”Her words pressed into my chest with a ton of loads. My heart was full of sorrow and my mind full of anger. Squeezing my brows, I told to myself, “Idiot girl. What nonsense you did.”I pushed the door hard to step in the bank and took my wallet from my half-opened chain and threw my bag to a corner. I rushed towards Nisha. She was waiting in a railway station, near
A Mistake that changed my Life 23. MY BIRTHDAY
April 2019.It was 11th day of the month. I celebrated my birthday in despair with wet eyes. I spent my entire day in the bank and they were oblivious to my birthday. I didn’t prefer to inform them to get special treatment. Nisha called and wished me half-heartedly. It was not as adorable as before. I knew things were not the same. There was a time when she was more excited about my birthday than I was. And then came a time, she didn’t even say to meet. I was of twenty-five so, I behaved like a gentleman, mature and smart enough to tackle with tears. Her wish was enough for me. At least, she gave me a chance to be with her and it was enough at that time. I kept myself happy whenever she used to hurt me by remembering her second chance.Past three years were not much good for me. She never missed a single chance to tease and taunt me. She always criticized me for every little thing. She used to connect everything with my past and slammed
