A Mistake that changed my Life

June 2007.

Holding ears and standing outside of the classroom, watching others roaming in school, made my life different from other students. That embarrassing moment used to crush my self-esteem and distanced me from my friends. It gave me a unique identity. It was the worst punishment I used to get in most of the classes. Whenever my teacher asked about my book, my answer, in a low voice was, ‘Not brought’. In fact, the letter ‘R’ in brought was a big lie. I can’t tell I didn’t buy it because it was destroying my image. Schooling from Sacred of Christ, ICSE board was tough to afford by my parents for two children. 

The books were too costly to buy so, I preferred old books, from seniors. A few rude teachers always overlooked me despite being in front of them. The behavior of some teachers and classmates made me uncomfortable. So, I tried to avoid them. It gave a slight inferiority complex. By watching students loitering and my friends attending class for a few years, I started enjoying being alone and liking loneliness. I found peace in it. The seeds of introvert sown and germinated early in my life, when I was in class five. Hence, I adjusted my mind being overlooked.

We say time changes everything and that massive change came in my life too. It was a miracle. My sister passed class ten and changed the school in which we were studying since childhood. She needed to shift for her higher studies because our school was till class ten. So, along with my sister, I too moved to a new school. Bholanath National Vidyalaya, a CBSE board with big classrooms and lots of students all around. A school which was four times bigger than my previous school. My sister got admitted to a nearby school. The books were of NCERT. I guess you know very well that the cost of these books is just fifty-seventy rupees. Mesmerized with a lot of new books, it cheered me up to have all those in my bag. The moment I reached home, I tried to take out all those books at once from the half-opened chain and started going through the pages. The fragrance of new books healed my heart. Its shining covers and colorful images left my mouth opened when I saw. I read a lot in excitement and it made me a bookworm later. I picturized myself encircled with good friends and beautiful teachers of the new school. I started loving my school life once again.

Besides bookworm, I was a tall guy with spiked hair, aspiring to do well with grades and make my family proud. Born and brought up in Kolkata (A city in West Bengal, India) with ‘Rosogolla’ as my favorite dessert. A simple lifestyle had filled my mind with decent thoughts. I used to think a lot before talking to someone. I hesitated even talking with a boy. I had an average complexion of skin with a skinny figure. The concept of not involving in love before getting married was always active in my mind. I was an obedient son, so I preferred to follow the sacraments of my parents. It was something like we go to school for education and to ignore love. From my former life, my parents inspired me to be a banker. They always appreciated a bank job because the employee of a bank gets much respect in society. So, I had an eye on my books and kept myself dull in the beautiful world of glamour.

Before my roll number was a guy from my caste absent for a few days. The similarity of caste created an urge to talk with him. My mind produced positive thoughts for getting a brother from another mother. But when he came, my desires destroyed into pieces. He differed completely from me and my expectations. For him, school was just a building of lots of fun. He was a short boy but a big explicit. He came to enjoy school more than studying. His name was Kartik Verma, a boy whose head always knocked on my shoulder. But he too had a big ambition and aspired to score well only in boards. So, we messed up soon. Our caste was the second reason which pushed us to be together. The goal to perform well topped the list. I used to keep myself conserved. Being an introvert, I never enjoyed making friends. But he impressed me with his nostalgic mind. With a sarcastic sense of humor, he was perfect for sharing some words. Within a few weeks, we had a wonderful friendship. Later, he became my best friend. From doing homework in class together to playing pen fighting games in front of teachers for months, he became that person of my life whom we usually say ‘The partner in crime’.

May 2009.

When we came to class nine, Kartik entered the world of love for the first time. To sip the glass of love and get lost in its sweetness. He made a girlfriend with ease, as he was good at flirting. He kept knocking with shoulders whenever a tall girl passed nearby and giggled.

 “How’s she?”

He wanted me to get into a relationship. He was so desperate to find a girlfriend for me that one day he pushed me towards a girl. She slammed me with harsh words in front of juniors. I apologized to her and moved away with watching my feet. 

Being in class nine, I was not in a mood to taste love. I used to think about the concept of avoiding love, which popped up every time in my mind. I didn’t fit with it as it needed modern principles, and I was a decent guy. Being an introvert, it was tough for me to continue a conversation. I kept myself reserved for the one who deserve. When I got to know that I have to talk to a girl to make her my girlfriend and later I have to keep talking because she is my girlfriend, I found this concept a waste of time. I kept thinking about what will I talk to a strange girl. 

As a duty of a best friend, Kartik tried to connect me with the most talkative girl in our class. Debosmita Chatterjee, a girl who was taking everyone’s breath away. She was beautiful and attractive. Her charming eyes influenced almost everyone in our class. Her eye-catching look in curly hair made every boy fall for her. I started talking, but her words didn’t touch my heart. It was like someone pushing me to jump into a river when I don’t even want to take a bath. So, I was maintaining a distance as I didn’t want her to stay.

In our class, there was another girl in limelight. A girl worth watching. She was snatching my attention. I used to enjoy gazing at her with no specific reason. She was new to our class. I was afraid of Kartik. If he finds me staring at her, he will start teasing me and will spread rumors. So, I stared at her with care.

Nisha Jha, a posh girl from Darbhanga, a city in Bihar (Another state in India). Living at her maternal uncle’s house in Kolkata. She was tall and slim figured, and one of the most gorgeous girls in our class. Her naturally straight hair covered half of her back, which was shining under the sunlight. She had a very fair complexion of skin. Her innocent face was cute enough to take one’s stress away. A pointed nose, honored with a gold nose-ring, gave her a killer look. Sitting with toppers on the first bench. She came in class nine. I didn’t have feelings for her, but I had covered the walls of my heart with her posters. Every time I moved my eyes, I took a glimpse of her. The spark of her clear eyes touched my heart. First time in my life, I enjoyed looking at a girl. I had an eye on her, but I didn’t want to share with anyone. I wanted to keep my crystal-clear heart far away from love. So, I restrained myself. I tried a lot to be adhere with my thoughts but it was difficult to stop Kartik who was becoming a loophole between my mind and heart.