23. MY BIRTHDAY

April 2019.

It was 11th day of the month. I celebrated my birthday in despair with wet eyes. I spent my entire day in the bank and they were oblivious to my birthday. I didn’t prefer to inform them to get special treatment. Nisha called and wished me half-heartedly. It was not as adorable as before. I knew things were not the same. There was a time when she was more excited about my birthday than I was. And then came a time, she didn’t even say to meet. I was of twenty-five so, I behaved like a gentleman, mature and smart enough to tackle with tears. Her wish was enough for me. At least, she gave me a chance to be with her and it was enough at that time. I kept myself happy whenever she used to hurt me by remembering her second chance. 

Past three years were not much good for me. She never missed a single chance to tease and taunt me. She always criticized me for every little thing. She used to connect everything with my past and slammed me. I had to give an explanation for every little thing. Every time she doubted which made me irritated. I told her many times after my acceptance, “I agree I did a mistake and I am ashamed of it. But it doesn’t mean you will keep reminding me every time. It hurts. It hurt a lot.” But I was ok to it. I swallowed those harsh words, thinking a day she will change.

In evening, a senior colleague came to me, noticing some lines of tension on my forehead. Throwing her hand on my shoulders, he asked, “What happened bro?”

Tension faded away at a glance and I took a deep breath and looked at him. I shared my situation with wet eyes and my tension to fulfill the condition which was easily visible on my face. Fully compassionate with my pain and genuine love for her, he said.

“Take a loan.” 

“But who will give a loan to me.”

I asked, seeking an answer to my big question. And then he gave me the entire idea which brought everything in front of my eyes. Within a few minutes, he showed me the entire process. 

After his guidance, I planned every little thing, how will I get a loan, how will I get a house for my dream girl and how will I repay. At night, I shared my happiness with Nisha, but her response took my smile back. She was ok with it. No additional reaction. Only a simple ok. It didn’t affect me much as I was making stuffs ready and thinking I could fulfill even that condition too. I slept tight and with dreams in my eyes which healed me from my worry. Once again, hopes gave a magical touch to my life.

I remained self-obsessed in collecting the documents. I called her a day for some documents, and found her call busy for a very long time. I got to know her mother was busy on a call from her village, Darbhanga. It was Nisha’s uncle. He shared the good news with a humble request. Nisha’s female cousin was going to get married and so they invited her full family to give their presence on their auspicious event. Her uncle also informed about a guy. They expected a match with Nisha. They knew him for a long time and wanted to take their matter further. It was not the first time someone came with a marriage proposal. Every next day I used to get an attacking kind of news. I was used to it, but every time it made my heart pound faster.

Every time she rejected those offers only by finding a fault. But it was tough to reject everyone because some were damn good to choose. It was a temporary solution and created a pressure on her every time she tried to reject someone. So, we decided to become man and wife in court by keeping things oblivious to our family. It would be safe for her to handle those threats.

 Having no clue about getting registered in a court of law and confused how to get those stuff done, I rushed to one of my friends who had registered himself with his fiancée a month ago. 

May 2019. 

It was the first week of the month. My branch manager howled on us. He called all of his employees to his cabin. We knew we are about to face a devil. Our mobile was in silent mode. Mine was in my pocket. Silent.

Holding our performance report on hand, which was totally a rubbish, he slammed all of us from early morning till twelve. I was a new employee so I got less lecture yet it was damn enough to hit his head with an iron rod. When I came out of a hell, I saw six missed calls from Nisha. My heart beats pumped faster like never. In such a negative situation, why she called six times? What happened to her? Stroke my mind. Did someone come to marry her again? Or her mother saw one more groom for her? Did she leave her home and came to mine? Negative thoughts encircled my mind. I called her back with broadened eyes, but she didn’t receive.

My mind created the worst scenarios. Then, I recalled my mind and got to know our last conversation happened early morning when she was going to her computer classes with one of her friends. With no delay I called her friend and for my surprise she informed, she was with her around twenty minutes ago and when she left, Nisha was all right. I thanked her and disconnected. A little drop of panic flew away, but yet it formed a thick layer of sweat on my forehead. I wondered what the hell happened in just twenty minutes. I called Nisha again, and then she picked. Thank god she was alive. But she was crying. 

Crying her eyes out. Her cry was not like before. It was painful. Not only mental pain, something physical ache. Her pain in her cry formed tears in my eyes too. 

 “What happened?” I asked without breathing. She took time to stop her tears and made her throat utter a few words. I became numb when she answered. Breathing out with a sound of relieving a bit of tension, anger replaced my tension in my vacant mind.