22. VALENTINE GIFT

My father was an accountant and I, being a commerce student, helped him in getting things done at ease for some handful of money. I earned a good amount by assisting him. It pleased me with what I had overall as a beginner. But my hunt for a bank job was going on. It was tough to get a job of a teacher, so banker was the only option. I became fearless in the process when I had committed myself to do anything to get my Dilpari in my life. Her love gave courage to search hard for it. I knew getting a job would only make everyone believe, especially her mom, that I was desperate to make her my wife.

Sometime, I took the challenge because of my misbehave with Nisha. I knew I have to pay one day for my sin, but I didn’t know I would have to pay when I would be too weak to fight with god. Facing such atonements, I started having hypertension. After talking with many, I got someone who popped a ray of hope in my life. He was a broker. A job seller who used to deal in jobs.

 Never in my life, I wanted to use bribe for getting something. It was a matter of failure and lack of capabilities to get a job using money or additional power. But the only reason I kept aside my beliefs was Nisha. 

 It was strange for me how madly I had been loving her. A decade ago, a boy who pushed girls away was ready to do any crime to make her girl stay beside. So, I called him and we discussed a lot.

He informed us everything about the job profile. My mom was pleased to see her son as a ‘Banker’. It was like a dream come true for her. A burden of losing my business faded away when I got to know about the job timing. The hours were perfect, nine to six, and its branch was only two kilometers away from my house. Everything sounded good, as if they tailored it for me. He assured about the job but the bribe he asked, broadened our eyes and paused us from breathing for a while. He asked one lakh for it. It was heart wrenching to give one lakh for a damn private job. It was a sizeable amount for us for a shit job. One side, it was money which bothered and other side it was Nisha. For me, ploughing in our own farm was better than selling something at a job under others. But I had seen in Nisha what I always aspired to see in my wife, and in no one else I had ever seen. She would do for me what I could do for her that no one would do for me.

Trading my soul to death was not a straightforward decision. I never would have done it for anyone else. I hated closing my incredible relationship of around ten years for money. I knew my decision was harsh, but I recalled the situation of hospital where I had promised myself to dedicate my life to Nisha. So, I took a deep breath and wished I would never regret my decision of going with it.

We arranged one lakh in a week. It took all our savings. I asked some from my sister and rest we borrowed from lenders at a high interest rate. Within a week we arranged all other stuff to attend a sixteen day’s training and then an offer letter in my hand. 

January 2019. 

It was the end of month when I went to Raipur, Chhattisgarh (A state in India) for my training. It was a sixteen day’s long training. Every morning and night, I had video calls with mom, sister and Nisha. I was happy because the condition which her mother kept was going to be fulfilled. So, I completed my training with passion and came back with an offer letter in February with a spark of pride in my eyes. 

It was Valentine’s day when I dressed up on my first day as a Banker in ICICI Bank. My dream to become a banker somehow got accomplished. But I didn’t want in that way. The salary was half of what I earned from my business, yet I was working with no shame. I took pride to fulfil the condition and to be called a ‘Banker’. 

My job made my friends happy. They wanted to admire us together as a married couple as soon as possible. I fed them up of watching us as a boyfriend girlfriend. Kartik was totally tired of seeing us the same old school couple and waited with a gift for our reception.

After working two months in the bank, I got to know it would be very tough for me to manage both job and business simultaneously. My schedule was tight. Early morning, I used to go gym at six and coming back straight to the bank before nine. My job sucked my entire day and left at eight. Coming back home after eight, I had tax related work pending on my bed. And after completing my dinner at ten, I used to pack all orders, came throughout a day, which was about to get dispatched next day. The job pissed me off. I alone knew what a burden it was, to know the fate of the planets and its inhabitants rested upon my shoulders. It was hard to manage but harder to give up things because on the other side was my dream desperately waiting to become my reality. 

The pressure of the job, my manager, rigid timings and the salary everything, every single thing sucked my blood. It frustrated me to deal with it. Sometimes, our manager used to leave us after nine. Those days, I couldn’t handle my business and took it to an end. I suggested Nisha to get married soon and help me to manage our business. Finally, we concluded. After marriage, she will take care of my business, and I will carry on with my job for some time and later, I will be back to business. 

So, after our discussion, she went to her mom and narrated my entire story how I fulfilled her condition and got a job and how we had planned our future. 

But her mother was not so pleased with the news, I don’t know what was going on in her mind when her jaw dropped down after coming across the reality. I was damn waiting for her yes, because as per her words, I had fulfilled her condition.

A few days later, Nisha called and shared something on the phone call, which took my breath away. Only then, I had fulfilled one of her major condition and again one more trouble was ready to stab my chest with a sword. Aunty brought forward a new condition. She won’t allow her to marry in our present house. This condition was bigger than before. It shocked me when I noticed Nisha too wanted the same. It was less from her mother and more from Nisha. Her desirous in her voice brought tears in my eyes. She flooded my mind with a big storm, which left my heart pounding faster like never. Facing a sword is hard, but it’s harder when the hands are known and the hardest when it’s of own. I didn’t react much on call and disrupted our conversation.

I was helpless once again, it left me with wet eyes. That time it was not someone else but my Nisha itself who broke me down. It was not possible to make a house in such a short time. It was totally an invalid condition. I wondered why Nisha didn’t protest her mom or even requested her. How can she simply agree with her mom?

With eyes wide open, I thought whole night. My head hit hard with a headache. Boiling of my blood made me sweating. I couldn’t control my anger. How could Nisha say so? Hit my mind. I called Ankit late at night at eleven thirty and asked to meet immediately. He threw his half-read book and rushed to my house with a face full of panic. I narrated my concern helplessly. He remained silent for a while and lost his sense to communicate. It was unexpected for him too. Having no clue what to say, he only advised me to have a talk with Nisha and make her understand. Her mother was talking nonsense. 

He confronted me with patience and suggested not to hamper my career for her. As I had already taken two major decisions which completely changed my world upside down. In fact, I had already made different unexpected decisions about my career so many times that my head was spinning of shifting.

I followed his words, but it was futile. Nisha was not ready to listen at any cost. It had been ten years of our relationship, yet she came up with conditions. I loved her unconditionally, but it was not same from her side. I suffered from hypertension. The pressure of fulfilling so many conditions let my hair fall at a rapid speed.

 It took three years to make things on track after my sin, and then god gave challenge after challenge. I cried many times talking to her discussing these things. One day I asked her casually,

 “What if we don’t get married?”

 To which she replied, 

“I will move on, it would be tough for you to do the same.”

 I felt that. Drop of tears stuck to my eyelashes when she uttered her words, but I didn’t let my tears to flow. I had become brave enough by dealing with difficulties.