015

Dinner isn't going well at all. I feel uncomfortable with two burning gazes on me, one a deep shade of mesmerizing blue and the other, the darkest of browns. I force myself to force food in my mouth that are surprisingly really good but don't feel as good because of the intensity of the situation.

They'd been trying to get me to say something, pulling small talks here and there but so far nothing is working, i just continue to ignore them completely increasing my pace so i can go back to my room and study a little before retreating for the night.

"We are getting married "Brittany finally blurted.

I freeze.

Slowly lifting eyes to look up at the woman who said those words, i find her staring at me intently gagging my reaction and Andrew sending daggers to the side of head with his eyes. "what did you say?"

"Your father and i are getting married" she says it with so much composure and confidence with her arms crossed and a tone that makes her seem so mature and older than she actually is.

"Anne! "Andrew scolds clenching his jaw.

"What? we were going to have to tell her eventually "

"Yes, but i told you I would handle it myself Anne! " he says looking grim.

I get a nostalgic feeling building up my throat. Married! You can't be fucking kidding me. And then i see it, the huge diamond resting on her ring finger and i loose it.

It's been six months, just six months since she died and he's already getting married to someone else! The fucking shit. I'm angry and hungry and trying to process the new found information. And they are both arguing about how the situation should have and have not been acted on.

"Shut up! "i scream, and to my surprise they both do just that looking at me, one with fake sad eyes and the other without a care in the world. "what do you mean you are getting married? " my breathing becomes rapid.

"Alexa -"Andrew trails off.

I let out a dry humorless laugh. "well congrats " my lips stretch into a fake smile "hope you're happy."

I stand and walk away, almost out of the kitchen and i remember I'm really angry and still very hungry, so i turn back and grab my dish topping it with more food as they sat there watching me, another bottle of apple juice and storm back out, slamming the door to my room once I'm in.

I'm usually not the type to eat much, but when I'm really angry, i either deal with it by trashing something, working, or eating till I'm almost feeling bloated and then i call Kyle after. That's exactly what i do, searching for my extra stash of peanuts and gummy bears while the line connects.

"Lex "

"They're getting married " is the first thing that comes out of my peanut stuffed mouth. My voice sounds spiteful and stuffed as continue chewing on my peanuts that are doing less to calm me down.

"who? "

"Andrew, his marrying that gold digging Bimbo."

"Could you be more specific please."

I sigh "Brittany, some new flavor of his."

He pauses for a little moment "are you okay? "there was genuine concern in his voice.

"Of course i am, why wouldn't i be? "

"Don't lie to me Lexa " the way he says it makes me want to surrender all my feelings to him to, blurt out all the frustration, annoyance and hurt inside me. It makes a little tear drop fall from the corner of my eyes.

"It's all just really suffocating "i admit falling my head on my pillows, drowning my voice with the sound of the rain pouring heavily out side but he can still hear my every word. "it feels like betrayal and it shouldn't because this isn't the first time he's run off with someone else but i think it hurts more because this time he's actually getting married. Or maybe it's because she's just a girl, i mean they have like twenty years apart from each other, for Christ sake she's just two years older than i am! "

He doesn't say anything, he just listens to me rant. "i don't like feeling like this Kyle! I shouldn't feel like this but fuck, it hurts! Whenever i see her i feel nauseous. Who does she think she is? Does she think she can just come in and try to replace mom?!" i didn't even realize when the tears start leaking out. I sniff, once, twice, trice. "oh shit! I'm out of peanuts "i groan.

"Do you want me to come over? "he asks.

I look out the window and the rain is still pouring heavily and it's already almost midnight. "no it's fine, I'll cope"

"Are you sure? It's not that much of a distance between our houses, I'll be there in less than six minutes "

"No, really it's fine Kyle, i feel much better already, i promise "i did, talking to him and knowing he was listening and cared so much to want to drive over here despite the rain made me feel better.

Just when he was about to say something more, there was a nock on my door. "Alexa? "

I tensed. I don't want to speak to him, what is he doing at my door. "go away! "

"I want to talk to you."

"I don't want to talk to you. "

"well I'm coming in anyway "i groan, mentally cursing myself for not locking the door as he pushed open the nob and stepped in, in sweat pants and a T-shirt which is something i never see on him. He's either always on a suit or no where around seeing range thankfully.

"I gotta go Kay, I'll see you tomorrow" i said into the phone.

"Okay. Lex? "

"Yeah? "

"Call me if you need me okay? "

"I will " i assure him before ending the call. I Turn my attention to Andrew who is leaning on his side against the wall watching me.

"What do you want? "