016

"What do you want? " i say ripping open a pack of gummy bears and popping it into my mouth. 

"How do you feel? "he takes me by surprise. 

"Do you really want to know? "

"Yes " he looks really serious, no falter in his expression what so ever.

I sit up, staring him straight in the eye. "like you're a piece of shit "

He sighs and his eyes soften into something a little sad. He walks closer to me and takes a sit on my little love seat by the corner. "it bothers you "

"Surprise, surprise "

"I know i haven't been the father you probably wanted -"

"Shocking! "i fake surprise with my eyes wide. 

"-But i want to make up for it " he goes on, ignoring my childish comment. "i didn't start off on the right foot, and I've probably hurt you in more ways than i could ever think of and i hate myself for that "

I laugh dryly.

"Believe me or not Alex, but I've changed, and i could never take back all the things that I've done, i could never take back all the years of hurt I've put you through. But i want to make up to you, i want to prove that i can be the father you always wanted -" 

You see the thing is, for so many years, I've longed to have a dad that cared. a dad that would take me to school and come for all my quiz competitions. a dad that would hold me and tell me everything will be alright whenever I'm down. A dad that would ask me to dress up and take me and mum out for a family night at some expensive restaurant. A dad that would stand there and question what ever boy i bring home and claim to be my boyfriend. But i didn't have that. I remember seeing other kids gush about how amazing their dad is and wondering how it would feel like to have that. No matter how many times I told myself that i hate him, there was still a part of me that craved that attention. 

But ever since she died, all thoughts I've ever fantasised on him have completely gone down the drain. Say what ever you like but i already made up my mind that i want nothing from him, which is why even though he is one of the richest men in the country, or maybe even the world, I'm still studying as hard as i can to get scholarships and working different shifts at crappy places to take care of myself without his help. But the next words that come out of his mouth hit a nerve in my system. 

"I want to be able to here you call me dad again. " he looks at me with sad eyes and i stay frozen to the spot, looking at him with wide eyes.

"No!" i stand getting pissed "you don't get to say that! "

He nods "i understand if you're not in support of my marriage but i would love for you to be there "

I scoff loudly. He's not serious. why would I go to a wedding I oppose of? Not to mention it's going to be big and all over the news and if I'm seen people would start asking questions. I'm already on multiple headlines asking who the mystery daughter of multi billionaire Andrew McCarthy was and why she hasn't made and appearance to the press, i don't want my face to actually be out there. 

"You do realize that woman is only trying to use you right? "i ask with my arms crossed. He frowns. 

"What do you mean use me? "

"Anyone can see that she's only with you for your money " he shakes his head in disapproval.

"No Alexa, she loves me, and i love her"

Love. Feel another pang in my chest. My fists clenching at my sides. 

"Love? "

"Yes, love "

"Well i hope you are right then. For your sake. But that doesn't change my opinion on any of this. "

"I understand that "i nod. "i want you to have this " 

He stands pulling something out of his pocket and gently places it on my had. 

It was a key, a key i would always recognize anywhere. I sucked in a breath at the sight of it. My hands shaking. 

"She would have wanted you to have it " he nods to me. 

This was the key to her bakery Katie's sweets, the one i spent must of my afternoons at, the one that we used to throw mini birthday parties for our selves every year. It had been sealed and locked down ever since the incident happened and i never really knew what happened to it since then and i never wanted to be anywhere near Andrew so i never bothered asking. 

"Why are you giving me this? "my voice came out spiteful and angry. I don't know why. 

"I know how much it meant to the both of you and i figured you'll know what to do with it "

Unknowingly the tears streamed down my eyes. Still staring at the keys. 

"And now that your mother is... "

"Dead! "i finally lift my gaze to meet his, "dead because of you "

The dam in my eyes began to flow heavier. I remember how he used to go out drinking with the guys after work and then come home drunk, and whenever mum tried to talk to him he would hit her and maybe even end up breaking something on her. 

The day i finally decided enough was enough, i was done standing by and watching him harass her all the time. He had pushed her roughly against the wall and got her unconscious. I was so angry i grabbed my mug that was still filled with hot choco and smashed it on his head then called an ambulance. 

By the time they got to the hospital, we found out that she had a sever tumor due to stress and depression and she'd fractured her skull when she fell leaving it almost impossible for her to survive. 

But she did, she survived it. Except when she woke up she had lost all her memory of me Andrew and everyone else. But it didn't last she died a week later due to the growing tumor in her brain. I cried so hard punching and kicking the the doctor in charge while Kyle tried to hold me back. He said there was nothing he could do about it, that she wouldn't survive an operation even if they tried. 

"She's dead because of you! "i scream trowing the keys back at him running out for air. 

Once I'm out of the building, i don't slow down. I run past the middle garden and water fountain with the rain pouring down on me until I I'm out of the compound completely. Holding my hands to my chest, i cry my sorrows away, i pure out all the pent up emotions i haven't moved on from for the past Six months. I don't think i can, i could never move on from this. 

My knees give way and i fall down to the ground. I can't think, i feel numb, in every aspect. 

"Lexa! "at first i wasn't sure i heard it right but then his voice came shouting again on top the heavy rain. "Lexa !"

I try looking up but then i get a heavy amount of water in my eyes and i shot them again. Just kneeling there, crying and letting the rain water wash me. Then i felt him. He raps his arms around me whispering suiting words to my ears. Holding me tightly to him. 

The rest of the night is a blur but when i wake up the next morning, covered in his thick duvet that smells like vanilla and mint. That smells like him. In fresh clothes and Kyle's arms around me. I know for a fact that i never want to loose someone like him in my life, someone i deeply care about.