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 In highschool, I've always been referred to as  " the school's smartest kid",the " shy girl" or more recently, "the tomboy". The only person that calls me by name at school are teachers and then my bestie Rachel.I guess that's what you get when you're the smartest kid in school and you are not in anyway close to being described as cool. This has been happening for about three years now and you know what? - I DON'T CARE. 

    Yes, I'm completely fine about it. My mom and two sisters are the ones who worry about me. They keep telling me I'm not girly enough or that I'm just living a sad life, what they don't know is that I love my life as it is. Being the nerd and the tomboy is my life and I'm completely happy with all that.

It's Monday and Toni's been Playing one of Beyonce's songs as though she wouldn't hear it except it's so loud. When she turns it off, I hear her  knock a few moments later. Since I'm still bathing, I don't answer, obviously she's let herself in and is probably on my bed right now, preparing to bother me and go on and on about how disorganized I am.

" What do you want?" I say as I come out of my bathroom. 

" Good morning Tori!" She says with a kind of excitement that I know is fake.

" Just recite your usual poem about how I'm 'this and that' " I say, putting on my clothes. As I do so, her eyes are on me, which really annoys me .

" Such a waste of a hot body" she says, shaking her head.

" Anyway, I came to see if by some miracle, your room doesn't look like an there was an earthquake in it and what did I find?....a total disaster!  She says as she gets up from my bed and points at a whole pile of clothes and books tossed here and there on the floor.

" Just go" I say with a sigh. For some reason, I don't have it in me to fight with Toni today. 

" Whatever, get dressed. Mom's waiting for us in the living room, so I expect you to be there" she says as she leaves my room .

" And I expect you to get out" I say as I throw some books in my bag pack. 

When I meet my mom in the living room, she's sitting on the couch and watching TV like some perfect princess and my elder sister - Tiana is also sitted in the same pattern. She worships my mom and wants to be this year's prom Queen like my mom was. 

Toni, is seated on the other couch , typing on her phone voraciously, but even though she's absorbed in all her chatting or whatever it is she's doing, she's still sitting gracefully. I'm the only one surrounded by literal Barbie princesses. 

As I look at all of them and  see nothing else but girly perfection, I do what I do best - wreck it with my boyishness.

" Oh Tori honey, come sit over here!" My mom says as she pats the couch. 

I walk over to her, sit down with my legs spread apart and my arms folded as I await my daily dose of scolding. 

" Oh come on Tori! I know you're wearing pants but couldn't you just try to be a little less... Disorganized!" Tiana says as she watches me. Clearly, she didn't use the word tomboyish, but that's exactly what she wanted to say.

" Just shut up" I say, shooting her a glare. 

" Why don't you try saying that to Penny when she makes fun of you at school? Always the smart talker at home but outside you're just a-"

" -Girls, no bickering !"  my mom says as she lifts her index finger in the air to silence us. 

" So , today is your first day of school. What are you looking forward to or what do you wanna achieve this year?"

It's was my dad and mom's tradition to ask us this at the beginning of our school year and then at the end of the school year, they ask us if we achieved our goals and we give our answers. Ever since dad died, I lost interest in this tradition and only took part because it was now just my mom doing it. I need to encourage her.

" Me first!..." Tiana says enthusiastically as she clasps her hands.

" Well, I'm looking forward to a boyfriend free year!..."

" Indeed" I scoff.

" Tori" my mom says while Tiana folds her arms and glares at me.

" Whatever, continue your talk"

"As I was saying, I do not want to worry about boys and whatever... What I want to achieve this year is keeping this year's prom Queen crown in the family. I need to be prom Queen like you were" she says as she smiles at my mom. 

" That's wonderful Tiana! " My mom says and looks at Tori.

" I look forward to having a good year and you know - still being a cool and popular kid at school. I wanna have parties and date a sweet guy and that would really help me in sustaining my cool profile... unlike some people" she says still chatting on her phone.

" Okay Toni, but you know the rules." My mom says as she stares pointedly at her.

" Totally" she says looking at my mom and smiling nervously.

" Okay Tori, your turn"

" Same old thing, I look forward to being announced as the winner of five competitions this year. And to have good grades. Also, A 4.0 GPA would be awesome" 

" Right.... How about your social life. Don't you wanna work on that. Or at least don't you wanna have a boyfriend or something" mom says, clearly unimpressed with my answer.

" Umm... nope, I'm good"

" Or are you into girls?" my mom asks folding her arms as she looks at me critically while Tiana and Toni burst out laughing.

" Mom, h-how could you think something sooo ridiculous?"  Toni says still laughing. 

" Well she's not interested in boys so..."

" Oh, I'm sure Tori wishes she was gay but she's too busy doting over Rex to see anybody else" Tiana says now that she's done laughing. My mom shoots me a questioning look while I roll my eyes.

" You're into Rex?"she says 

" Yeah,so?  Every girl at school likes the guy so what's funny?"

" The fact that the guy doesn't even  know you exist is hilarious"

" Or the fact that she likes him because of something she thinks happened between them when they were ten" Toni says rolling her eyes. 

" I'm not cut out for this, I gotta be at school" I say, looking at my mom so she would just end this damn exercise. She's just smiling for some reason that I really don't care about.

" Okay, you're right...School. Anyway, I've listened to you all and this is what I always say - whatever you hope to achieve, work towards it and you'll have what you want. I'm not a bag full of wisdom like your dad, so... I'll just say this- I hope you girls have what you want"

" Thanks Mom!" We all say before we  each give our mom a kiss and go upstairs to get our things from our rooms. As I climb the stair , I see my mom dabbing her eyes, clearly our dad's death is still fresh in her memory. 

" Mom"

" Yeah?" She says with a smile that fades when she realizes that I had seen her cry.

" It's gonna be okay"

" I know, And you're gonna have a swell time in school today!"

"We both know that's not true" I say as I go upstairs to get my bagpack. Though that's what I say, I do genuinely hope that something different happens for me this year - anything at all.