Thirty Five

She dropped Kevin back to her mother's house. On the way to John's set, she stopped at La Lune. It's been two weeks and she hadn't heard from Lucas. She wanted to know how he was doing.

The place was full as usual. The minute his staff saw her coming, they informed Lucas immediately. She was escorted to his office.

They hugged for some time, it was an embrace they didn't have when they last saw each other. "How are you, Sandy?" his voice gentle as ever.

"I'm okay, how are you?"

"As well as I can be," he smiled.

They sat across from each other, his gaze fell on her for a moment, a deep and longing stare that said a million things. He told her, he was leaving for Greece. He had decided to take a long vacation. He had rented a house there for 6 months and have made arrangements with his team to take care of business while he's away.

They didn't mention anything about that night, the only way to make it work was to pretend that it never happened. She didn't stay long, she just wanted to know how he was doing. She stood up and excuse herself. He came over and held her hand.

"Thank you, Lucas ... I guess I wanted to say a proper thank you ... before you go," she said.

He looked into her eyes and smiled, "You really didn't need to say that, but ... you're welcome," he kissed the back of her hand. "I can never just be friends with you, Sandy."

"I know," she finally agreed.

"I wish it were different," he came closer to her.

"Any woman would be so lucky to be loved by you, Lucas, I hope you'll find her," she touched his lips to prevent him from leaning over to kiss her.

He closed his eyes, "I already did."

"I guess this is goodbye then?" she sighed.

"For now," he answered.

They embraced each other again, longer than before, and said their goodbyes without a kiss.

**********

"I stopped by at La Lune today," she told John when they were at the cottage.

"Oh?" he was surprised.

"Lucas is leaving."

"Leaving?"

"He said he's taking a long vacation to Greece," she said casually as she get undress.

"How long?"

"He rented a home for 6 months, I think he's planning to start anew there," she smiled. "I thought you'd like to know."

She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him, "I'm gonna draw a warm bath, you want to join me?"

"I thought you'd never ask."

They made love in the tub. Her mood was so much lighter than the night before. It seemed like a burden had been lifted off her shoulders, she was back to her usual self.

He was happy to have her to himself again, even happier to hear that Lucas was going away. But time was ticking, and it was weighing in his head. He hated to think that he was going to go back home and leave this wonderful person he'd just found when he wanted her to be in his life all the time.

She told him stories, smiling and laughing away. All her words were muffled by a thick cloud of thoughts in his mind. She was moving in slow motion in his head, the image of him going back home without her was pushing him to the edge until it finally blurted out of his mouth. "Don't you want to be with me?"

She was taken aback by his question, "Of course, that's an odd question?" she furrowed her eyebrows.

"Can we talk about this now?" he was serious.

Her demeanor quickly changed, she looked away.

"Are we pretending we don't have to deal with this? 'cause I can't pretend anymore, Sandy, we're running out of time."

She could tell by his tone, he was getting upset. "I don't know what to say, John, do we really want to talk about technicalities without solutions?"

He went over to her side of the tub, "Come with me ... please ... I beg you."

She covered her face with her hands and sighed, "I can't, John ... you know that."

No matter how many times he heard her say it, he hope the next time he asked, the answer would be different. "I'll stay here with you than?"

She shook her head, "I can't let you ... I'm not gonna be that person who snatches you away from who you are ... you love your life in Algonia."

"You have to choose one or the other, because long distance relationships just don't work," he slipped between her legs and wrapped his arms around her waist.

"I know ... neither does forcing one or the other to give up their lives, that's not gonna work either, John," she played his hair with her fingers.

He knew she was making sense, but the boy in him just wouldn't give up, "What are you saying, baby?"

She forced a faint smile, "Two more weeks ... we'll have that ... and then you'll go back to your life and I'll go back to mine ... no goodbyes ..." her voice was cracking.

"No ... no ... you're breaking my heart, Sandy, tell me how? I want you in my life."

She couldn't held back the tears any longer, the day had turned from happy to sad within minutes. She held his face close to her, "I'll be here, I'm not going anywhere ... we can still be in each other's lives ... just not the way we want it ... who knows, maybe you'll go back home and find someone else and ..."

"No ... no baby, don't put that ugly thought in your head, that's not how it is for me ... this is not a temporary thing, or something I sought out to keep me occupied while I'm here, it's not like that for me ... I fell in love with you, it's the most unexpected and wonderful thing that ever happened to me, and it's killing me right now ... I can't even imagine that you would go on with your life and meet someone ... you might as well just put a knife in my chest and kill me," he was at his wits end.

"Parting from you is going to be my next hell, John, I don't want to say goodbye to you ... ever ..."

"Let's not say goodbye then ... be with me, please," he pulled her in and kissed her hard. Her arms were around his shoulders, her hand all over his soft hair. She pulled him tight. Their tongue were inside each other's throats. He was desperate for her, she was heart broken. She couldn't go through with it, she broke down and cried.

He sighed and kissed her forehead. He picked her up and carried her to the bedroom as she cried on his shoulder. It wasn't a break up. They weren't going to say goodbye to each other. They told themselves it's not really over, but it felt like it was.