Thirty Two

He rented a secret beach for their getaway. Just the two of them, by the pristine beach in the suburbs. He had people set up a glam tent, away from the tide but right on the edge. It was decorated with Christmas lights. The tent was stocked up with wine and a long table of food and deserts. Everything was white right in the middle was a round king size bed.

She kept her promise, they even skipped dinner. She let him have her any way he wanted. He was prepared, he wanted her to have the best time she had ever had. John was a pleaser, there's a certain satisfaction for him to please his woman on the bed. Letting him do whatever he wanted with her would be the best sex she will ever have in her life.

She didn't know how special she was for him. He had touched every inch of her body with his hands and tongue just to find out all her spots, where he can squeeze the most pleasure out of her. By then, he had found them all. He would watch her face as he did things to her, and felt her squirms and moans, pleading for more.

He knew when she started biting his lips, he was on the right track. He loved it when she did that, it meant that she was ready to pick up the pace. Her eyes would get dreamy, she went to another level of consciousness. That's when he get to do it. She surrendered to him completely and gave him full control. He made her burst into pieces under him, on top of him, bending over or standing up. She didn't know how special she was to him.

"Do it again, John," she said with her face still blushing from the heat of passion, and he always find the strength to do it all over again. Whatever she wanted, he'd give it to her. John was a pleaser, because when she was fulfilled, it gave him back what he needed.

They laid under the soft lights inside the tent. He was looking at her, she was gazing at the ceiling of the tent. "Stop staring at me John Brady, it's rude to stare," she joked.

"I can't help it, you're so beautiful when you're like that."

"Like what?"

"Unaware ... contemplating ... inside your busy head ... one can only wonder what part of your life you're assessing at the moment ... if you're happy about it ... or unhappy about it ... something you wanted to change ... and then you realized something about yourself, you learned something and you make sense of things ... that's when you snap out of it and realized that I was watching you all the while you were travelling to the moon and back."

Sandy turned to look at him, she was amazed. The only way he could know all that was because he too was exactly the same way.

"Come home with me ... I live in a house that'll be twice as empty when I get back, now that I've found you," he kissed her shoulder.

She covered her face with both hands, "I feel like I'm dreaming when I'm with you, John ... and every time we try to talk about anything after your shooting is done, it felt like I have to wake up from the dream ... and I don't want to," she said.

John closed his eyes almost like he was in pain. "Just tell me what you want me to do, and I will do it, Sandy," he pleaded with a soft voice as she moved closer to her.

She shook her head, "I want this ... just the way it is ... I love this ... and we'll have this forever if we don't force it to be anything other than this."

John was taken aback, "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that I'm ready ... for this to be what it is ... and you should too," she said calmly.

"What?? Have you made up your mind about it? That's it? After six months and that'll be it? Is that what you're saying?" his heart raced, he didn't like where the conversation was going. "You're breaking up with me?" his chest was about to explode waiting for her to answer.

She sat up and touched his lips, "One more month ... we have one whole month ahead of us, we should make it the best we ever had and stop talking about it."

He put her hand away from his lips, "No ... I want to talk about it, because I'm not letting you off that easy, ... you're talking shit again ... I can't believe you're even thinking about it that way," he was getting stirred up inside.

She laid on her back and sighed, "Please don't make it so hard, John, I don't want to spend the next four weeks fighting about it and ended up losing the fight ... and wasted our precious time."

John came face to face with her, "Look me in the eyes and tell me ... you'll be able to live with being parted from me without a fight ... and all this, whatever crazy thing we have going on right now will end, and that you'll have no regret for not trying?"

She looked away from his eyes, something was pushing behind her eyes, "That's exactly what we should do, John."

He turned her face to face him again, "Look at me and tell me that you'll be able to go on without looking back and wonder what it could be between us ... just like that ..."

She didn't reply.

"Because I can't do that, not this time, not with you ... can you do that to me?"

She closed her eyes, her tears fell down from the corners of her eyes, she turned away from him without giving him an answer.

He didn't really wanted to know her answer, he didn't want to hear it. He wondered if he was the only one who dreamed about a future between them, she was so ready to let him go. His heart was breaking. She was crying, at least he knew her heart was breaking too. But she was giving up on him, she wasn't even trying to figure out ways for them.

He walked out of the tent and took a stroll on the beach. After all the shitty things that's happened in his life, this was what made sense of them all. But this too was falling apart.

She was holding on to the heart so tightly, she wouldn't let him in. He thought he had broke down her walls, but he was wrong. It was still there guarding her, relentlessly keeping away anyone who gets close to