Twelve

It was the most awkward thing that ever happened to her. She cringed inside the entire way to La Lune. She didn't expect to see John right the very moment she was going to call the cab. The shooting must've wrapped up early that day. She was sweating a little bit, she had to sit face to face with Lucas for at least two hours and had to persuade him to let her leave the place without him driving her back home. She should've thought that through before she agreed on this ... dinner invitation.

La Lune was packed, as usual. All the tables were full on the first floor. The bar stools were all filled. The head waiter looked like he was expecting her, "Miss Lowry ... this way please," he asked her to follow him upstairs where it was closed for public.

The head waiter opened the door and escorted her in. The floor was empty, except for one single table in the middle of the room with a candle light. The lights were all dimmed, candles were lit all over the room.

Lucas was leaning on the bar looking dashing in his tuxedo. He was beaming and his eyes sparkled as soon as he saw Sandy walked in. He kissed her hand and pulled out the chair for her. "You look lovely ... thank you for coming," he said.

"Thank you, you don't look so bad yourself," she returned the compliment.

The waiter came with a bottle of champagne, poured in their glasses, "The entrée will be served shortly, enjoy your evening," he said.

Lucas lifter his glass, "To friendships," he toasted.

"Happy birthday, Lucas, I wish you everything you've ever hoped for will come true," she toasted for him.

He looked at her sharply, "Thank you ... you know you can easily make that wish come true, right?"

Sandy smiled, drank her champagne. "You promised this will be a friendly dinner ... so no flirting, okay?"

"It's kinda hard to do that with you," he wouldn't take his eyes off her.

The thing with Lucas is, no matter how hard she tried to revert the conversations to casual friendly talks about everyday life, he always managed to come back to where he wanted the conversation to go. Putting her on the spot with flirtatious comments, and indirect confessions of his infatuation over her. She felt like he looked at her as a challenge that he needed to conquer, and that doesn't sit well with her.

She respected him as a friend, he's been a gentleman all through his journey of trying to win her over. He's never seen with a woman. Although he can easily get a good decent woman, he never did. Their friendship would've blossomed even more if he didn't try so hard to be more than that.

The second floor was surrounded by glass windows. They can see everything from there, the outside and the inside of the restaurant. In between the main course, she saw it. The waitresses downstairs escorted a tall, dark, handsome man to the corner seat. People turned to look at him, but he was cool about it, took his seat without any hassle.

She felt a lump in her throat, suddenly it was hard to swallow. Lucas was saying something to her, and she just didn't catch any of it. John leaned over to one of the waitress and placed his order, he took out his phone and browsed it without looking around. Not long after that, the head waiter came to interrupt the dinner. He whispered something to Lucas. He nodded knowingly and didn't say anything.

"You know ... desert is going to be lovely, it's your favorite," he said after a moment of silence.

She nodded, "Great ... I love deserts, thank you," she replied.

He described what the desert was in details, it just went pass her. Her attention was pulled to John who was drinking his wine quietly alone. She nodded along and smiled to Lucas's description of desert. When she had finished her main course, Lucas was finally done with his elaboration of the desert.

"I hate to do this to you ... but I have to check on the desert in the kitchen ... and greet a special guest we have in the house," he was stalling just to say that.

"Oh, don't worry about it, go ahead," she finally knew what the whisper was all about.

"You don't mind, do you? I hate to interrupt our dinner but ..."

"It's okay Lucas, do what you need to do," she urged him.

"I won't be long," he excused himself.

When she looked to where John was sitting, he was sitting back in his corner stall looking at her. He wasn't smiling, he raised his wine glass at her and winked. She laughed and waved at him. He drank his wine and smiled to another direction, he was smiling at Lucas who came over to his stall. The special guest.

**********

Lucas talked to John for no more than five minutes, then he was back with desert. He had a wide smile on his face. She glanced at John, he was taking pictures with some fans and then back to his loner mode, built a barrier between him and his surrounding just so people wouldn't come and interrupt him with himself. He was just like her.

Lucas touched her hand and pulled back all her attention to him. "Stay awhile ... I'd love to talk some more with you," he asked.

"Sure," she replied nervously.

"You look nervous," he caught it.

"No, I'm fine," she denied.

"More wine?"

She nodded, "Not too much, though, I have to get back."

"I'll take you home."

"No ... it's not a date, remember?

He squinted almost like he was in pain, "I don't want anything bad to happen to you on your way back ... it's late."

"I'll be fine ... I've done it thousands of times before."

He backed down, he just couldn't win.

He exhaled deeply, tried to relax himself. She sipped on her wine. "Can I ask you something?" he asked.

She nodded slowly.

"Why? ... why can't it be me?"

She paused for a moment, trying to find the right words to say. "Why can't we be friends, Lucas? You're a great friend, why can't we just have that?" she asked gently.

"Because I don't want to be your friend, I want more."

"And then what?" she asked

"What do you mean?"

"I mean ... I see you as a man with determination ... you always have to get what you want ... knowing my past makes you feel challenged ... it's like ... I'm something you must win, and afterwards you'd just ..." she didn't finish her sentence.

"What? Jeez ... is that what you think this is?" he was aghast by her implications of his intention. "I am a man with determination ... there's nothing wrong with that," he defended himself. "The things I would do for you ... to you ..." he rubbed his head in frustration, "you can't even imagine what I would do ... but I certainly wouldn't do what you suspect me of."

He grabbed her hand and looked her in the eyes, "Is there any chance of us in you? Please tell me the truth."

Sandy looked away from him for a second and gently broke it to him, "I'm sorry, Lucas, ... I just don't feel the way you do ... I wish I do."

"See? It's that ... 'I wish I do' that gets me ..."

"Oh my God, Lucas? What do you want me to say?"

"Just tell  me to go to hell or something, you hate me, you're disgusted by me ..."

"Is that what you want me to say to you? On your birthday?"

He put his face down on the table, shook his head, "No," he said almost in a whisper.

She can see from the corner of her eyes, John was looking their way. In another circumstances, she would've succumbed to Lucas's determination, he showed how genuine his feelings for her. But that chance have been stolen by the tall, dark, gorgeous loner she can't seem to shift her attention from.

"Is there someone else?" he couldn't have asked her a more on point question. "I hate to have been broken like this just to find out that there's someone else," he added.

"No." she said simply. "You know how hard it is for me since ..."

He nodded, "I'm sorry."

They were silent for a moment.

"I'm sorry too," she said.

He walked her to the door holding her hand, she didn't resist this time. She felt bad enough to have broken him like a twig. John was nowhere to be seen. They stood face to face on the porch. He looked at her with longing in his stare. It's the first time he didn't say anything but the look in his eyes told her everything. He leaned in for a kiss, she looked down. He kissed her forehead instead. He wanted to say it, but he didn't.

"I had a really nice evening," she said.

His smile was sluggish, "I'm glad you did."

"Good night," she said.

"Good night."

It's the first time he didn't say he wanted to see her again. Maybe he didn't want to, maybe it's better for the both of them. She descended the stairs and waved goodbye. He took a deep breath and walked back into the restaurant when she disappeared into the night.