22. Heartaches and goodbyes

After completing my mate bond with Ki I found it harder to leave. Every fibre of my being wanted to stay with him. 

'We have no choice small one.'

'I know.'

I sighed remembering what Ki had told me, but there was one thing that was bugging me. If Tharon was here then where was Loki? Wasn't he meant to be watching Tharon?

As if he could hear my thoughts Ki returned to my room Loki not far behind him.

seeing him my mind flashed back to what Zeld had told me. I scowled how could I look at him the same way knowing he willingly gave me away.

"What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be watching Tharon?"

I snapped causing Loki to narrow his eyes. Confused ki looked from Loki to me.

"Wards watching him don't worry. I just came to let you know Tharon let Zeld go."

Ki and I snapped our heads towards Loki.

"He what?!"

Loki shrugged.

"They drove away then after awhile the limo stopped and Tharon let Zeld out."

I shook my head.

"But that doesn't make any sense why would he let him go? Did you talk to to him? Is Zeld alright?"

"I didn't get a chance too he ran off before I could and I couldn't leave Tharon until Ward came to take over."

I sat on the bed my anger forgotten.

'What now? Where would Zeld have gone?'

'Don't worry we will find him maybe hes just waiting for us to leave and will join us once we are out of blue moon territory.'

I nodded.

'Your right guess this is it then we better leave before I change my mind.'

Caryi laughed. 

'More like before you decide to indulge in our mate again.'

I threw the last of my things in my suitcases. Turning back to Ki and Loki.

"Well then I guess that's my cue to leave."

Loki's eyes widened.

"Leave? What do you mean leave?"

I shot an apologetic look towards Ki, he instantly understood as he kissed my lips.

"I'll be downstairs if you need me."

I nodded as I waited for him to leave closing the door behind him. Loki watched him go then turned back to to me.

"What's going on Rave?"

I took a deep breath after what Zeld had told me I didn't want to invole him in anything that I did but he was still my biological father and a part of my pack even though I wasn't exactly alpha yet.

"I'm going to find the forest lakes pack."

Loki's face turned to shock then saddness.

"But Rave their all dead there is no more forest lakes pack."

'How could he not know about the vision?'

I asked Caryi.

'Ask him and find out.'

I scowled.

"How do you not know Caryi told me that all forest lakes wolves had the gift of foresight."

Loki's face went dark at my words. At first I thought he wouldn't answer.

"Sinel has not spoken to me since Lyieta and frost died. I can still shift but when he lost his mate he lost a part of himself. Well we both did Sinel never forgave me for leaving her to fight Tharon alone."

I sighed despite my anger at him I knew what it felt like to not hear your wolf.

'You can't stay angry at him forever.'

I ignored her grabbing my suitcase.

"Well now you know they survived and I'm going to find them."

I moved towards the door but Loki blocked my path.

"Rave what's wrong?"

I really didn't want to get into it but I knew he wouldn't let me go til I told him.

Scowling I looked up at him.

"Zeld told me everything."

His face was blank as I continued.

"I know it was you who cursed me and I know you willingly handed me over to Tharon."

I dropped my suitcases my anger growing.

"How could you hand me over to him knowing what he did?!"

Loki tried to reach for me but I slapped his hands away.

"Don't touch me!"

"Rave let me explain."

"What's to explain you gave me away! You took away my wolf! It's because of you my whole life I've felt weak and useless!"

"I did it for you. You deserved more then a life on the run. I knew Tharon would never stop hunting me I couldn't put you through that. But I couldn't let Tharon use your powers so I did what I thought was best for you."

I shook my head.

"No loki you took the easy way out! You could have fought to keep me but you didn't you handed me over like I meant nothing!"

"That's not true I love you Rave your my daughter!"

I crossed my arms.

"Well you have a funny way of showing it!"

Loki rested his hands on my shoulders I looked away trying to blink back the tears that were coming.

"Please how can I fix this what can I do to gain your forgiveness?"

I glared at him.

"You can leave me alone! I don't ever want to see you again!"

Sighing he stepped back.

"If that's what you want?"

I grabbed my bags.

"It is oh and while your at it don't tell any body where I'm going especially Ki."

I slammed the door behind me.

'He's still your father Raven.'

'You may be right but right now every time I look at him all I see is someone who didn't love me enough to keep me.'

'He thought he was doing the right thing.'

'I can't believe your defending him!'

She sighed.

'I'm not defending him I'm just saying I understand his reasons for doing it.'

I wiped my eyes as tears had started to fall.

'I don't want to talk about this any more.'

Caryi went silent as I started down the stairs to find Ki.

"You alright?"

Hitting the bottom step I spun around to see Ki leaning against the door frame of the living room.

"I will be."

He came closer as he pulled me in for a hug.

"I hate that I have to say good bye to you."

I squeezed him tighter.

"I know how you feel I wish I didn't have to."

He held me at arms length.

"Then don't what ever it is you feel you need to do let's face it together."

I stared into his eyes, would it really be so bad if he came with us?

'I know how you feel but if we take him with us we would only be leading him straight to them. Until we know what causes him to switch sides we can not risk their involvement.'

'I know your right but it doesn't make it any easier.'

"Im sorry Ki believe me I wish I could have you with me but it's just not that simple."

I kissed him.

"I will come back to you I promise."

"I'll be waiting."

He kissed me his tongue entering my mouth as his love for me showed in that kiss. 

I pulled away before I he could distract me from leaving. 

"I love you Ki."

"I love you too."

With tears still in my eyes I left the house and headed towards the limo. Drake grabbed my bags and put them in the back. Looking up at the house I smiled sadly as Ki stood at the door.

"Not leaving without saying good bye to me are you?"

I spun around as Cal lifted me up into a hug.

I smiled down at him.

"I wondered where you'd got to."

"Just out on pack business you know the usual."

He set me down.

"It's definitely going to be boring around here without you Rav."

I punched him in the arm.

"I'm sure you'll survive."

He turned serious as he looked to Ki glaring at Cal since he still had his arms around me.

"I get that you have to go on some secret mission but I don't get why you can't tell us what it is."

I looked to the sky sighing they weren't making this easy. 

'Tell him.'

My eyes snapped back to Cals.

'I can't he's Ki's beta.'

'He's not in the vision of the future maybe he could help to stop Ki from siding with Shiya.'

'What if your wrong?'

'Don't tell him everything just enough to make a deference.'

I hesitated. 

'We have to do all we can maybe this little thing can tip the scales in the right direction.'

Before I could change my mind I pulled Cal into a hug as I whispered.

"There will be a time when Ki will be turned against me. You must do all you can to stop it from happening. I wish I could tell you more."

I pulled away Cals eyes showed shock for the briefest of moments before he replaced it with a blank look.

"Protect him Cal your my only hope."

Cal stood stunned as I jumped into the limo as Drake started to drive off. Looking back I noticed Loki staring out of the window of my room. The look in his eyes almost broke my heart there was so much hurt in them. I turned around I didn't know if I would ever be able to forgive him but I hoped for both of us that one day I might be able to understand.

Staring out the window I watched the estate disappear as my journey to find my pack began. 

Suddenly the limo came to a resounding stop.

Pushing the intercoms in the limo I asked.

"What is it?"

Before he could answer my door swung open revealing Zeld. 

"Not leaving without me are you?"

Jumping out I threw myself into his arms.

"Thank god Zeld!"

I pulled away hitting him in the chest.

"You scared the life out of me I thought Tharon was going to kill you!"

Zeld pulled me into another hug.

"So did I to be honest."

"Miss Raven are you alright?"

I turned to Drake.

"We're fine thank you Drake we just gained some extra baggage."

Zeld nudged me playfully.

I pulled Zeld into the car as Drake continued our drive to the airport.

I couldn't believe it he was here Caryi was right he was waiting for us.

'Of corse I was right.'

'Geez cocky much.'

She laughed the sound like music inside my head.

"So what happened why did Tharon let you go?"

Zeld looked towards the drivers seat.

"Not here I'll tell you on the way."

I nodded understanding, while Drake was loyal he was still a blue moon pack member.

I hugged him again.

"I'm just so glad your safe."

He pulled back cupping my face he was so close as our eyes met I saw something in them I couldn't quite put a name to. Gently I pulled away unsure of what he seemed to be searching for in my eyes.

"I assume you know where we're going?"

He winked returning to normal.

"Of corse."

He must have seen the uncertainty in my face as he took my hand in his.

"It's going to be fine Rav what ever happens I'll always be here with you."

I smiled.

"I know and I'm glad for it. Truly I am it's just."

He sighed saddness entering his eyes.

"You hate leaving him behind?"

I nodded looking away.

"Yes."

"It's alright Rav I'm sure it'll turn out I may not like him but if he makes you happy I'll do everything I can to make sure it never happens."

I knew he was taking about the vision without revealing anything in front of Drake.

"Thank you Zeld I know you will, But for now let's just concentrate on finding them."

Zeld nodded.

"We will find them I can guarantee it."

I hoped he was right as I stared out the window once again watching the world go by. It felt like ages since I had seen the outside of the blue moon estate when in reality it had only been a couple weeks. Such a short time yet so much had happened.

Not too long ago I was leading a normal life in Colorado now I'd found my mate gained some of my power back and could now hear Caryi, found out Loki was my father and that he had cursed me. Now I was on my way to become alpha of a pack id never met to save them from My evil sister not to mention Caryi's plan to bring the packs together to return to their rightful place in the wild. 

I was only one wolf I didn't know how I was going to do everything Caryi wanted me to but I knew I had to try no matter how hard it sounded. I mustn't fail to fail would mean the death of our kind and I couldn't let that happen not while I was still breathing.