55. The true curse

Once my power had been reeled in I addressed Damien and Nate once again.

"As for the reason why I did not tell you before now is simple I didn't know til now. You see each time I die I leave my power behind. Each pack has a piece of that power and it's not til my new self has regained enough of it that I regain my memories of my past lives. When I fought the two of you I regained the power of fire and water giving me enough to awaken my true self. However I am still incomplete which is why Luna has taken control of the white tail pack they have the remaining piece of my power. Without that power she is stornger and she knows it. This is the first time in our many lives she has managed such a feat."

For the first time Talieus spoke.

"What about the moon goddess pack and the blue moon pack do they not hold any of your power?"

"Your right Talieus, but being born into the moon goddess pack I gained the power to nullify others power as you saw during our match when I broke through Damiens and Nates fire and Ice. As for the blue moon pack my time spent with them I was able to gain their power as well. now all that remains is the power of earth from the white tails. While she has control of them I can not hope to gain my full power."

"What do you suggest then if this Luna is as powerful as you say what hope do we have of sealing her away?"

Keyon was the one to speak next.

"I know this is a lot to ask but I have a plan all I need is time to gain the last of my power. It won't be easy but I need all of you to hold them off while I do."

"How do you plan on killing her when you have failed every time before?"

My eyes met Zelds while everyone else looked on sensing the tension between us.

"It is true that I have failed in the past but this time is different. This is the first time she has used my own werewolves against me."

"How many times have you attempted to kill Luna only to have to seal her away when it has failed?"

Turning my eyes Mets Loki's the question coming from him.

"This would be number 237."

His eyes widen as did all of the others.

"If that's true then how long ago was it that this whole thing started?"

My eyes glazed over as I remembered my past lives answering Keyon's voice.

"The first time I sealed Luna away was over five thousand years ago."

Outrage spears in the room everyone talking over the top of each other.

"Five thousand years?!"

"237 attempts!"

"It's impossible!"

"If a goddess can't kill her what hope do we have of even holding her off?!"

I growled my voice feeling as the goddess in my spoke.

"SILENCE!"

The room went quiet instantly. Visibly regaining my composure I turned to the elders of the forest lakes pack.

"Wake the pack have them start setting traps in the forest but keep clear of the Druid oak leave the area around that tree completely clear."

I turned to Nate.

"Have your pack create a mist surrounding the forest to limit visibility."

And lastly I turned to Damien.

"Your pack is our first defence line the out rim where the traps end with oil then when they get into position light it up. The rest leave to me now go tell everyone to keep watch they will send some ahead to watch our movements and determine our plan."

All in the room filed out through the door til there was only Zeld remaining. Turning my back on him I fought the ridge to take him in my arms.

"As beta you should be helping them."

I heard his footsteps approach as he wrapped his arms around me from behind. Leaning in he buried his head into my neck. 

"Zeld-"

"Don't!...just don't shut me out Rav."

Zeld pulled back as he gently spun me around, I avoided his eyes hiding the lone tear that I could not hold back as it zig zagged down my cheek. Slowly he reached out lifting my chin turning my face so that he could see that tear. His thumb wiped it away as his hand cupped my cheek.

"You don't have to do this alone-"

I pulled away from him, my pain of all my lives and all my lost lives surfacing.

"DONT YOU SEE! Can't you understand that every life I have lived I have had a mate and every time I have had to leave him behind me never seeing them again. Even without my memory I pushed you away, for even then I knew that if I fail I'll once again have to say goodbye to the one I love most! 237 times , 237 loves lost, 237 hearts broken. Over Five thousand years of loss my heart can't handle it any more!"

I growled as more tears followed the first, the pain in Zelds eyes tearing me apart. 

'He doesn't understand.'

'Be silent Caryi if I have anything to do about it he never will.'

I shook my head letting the tears fall unhindered. I was loosing myself in my own sorrow. My mind melding into everyone of my lives loosing everything and everyone. Stuck in the darkness only to relive the same horror over and over again burying my head in my hands.

"This time I will succeed, this time I will kill her and take back my wrongs of the past. This time it has to work it has t-"

"RAV! ENOUGH!"

My words were stopped mid sentence as my mind snapped back to the present. How could I let him see that? How could I let him see my pain? He mustn't know? I can not let him know? 

Removing my hands from my face I wiped the tears away like they were never there. My stoic demeanour returning. 

"Im sorry now is not the time to loose myself to my past. Come on there is much to be done."

I started towards the door but Zeld grabbed my hand stopping me in my tracks. I refused to look at him for fear that I would loose my mind again. 

"Rav..."

"There are more important things right now."

He didn't let go leaving me with only one choice. Letting my eyes as they flowed with power I spoke with my goddess voice as hurt entered his eyes.

"Le-"

Before I could get the words out he silenced me with his lips. The feel of them sending those all too familiar tingles throughout my body that I couldn't help but respond to. His hands wrapped around me holding me like he thought I'd disappear from right in front of him. Pulling away gently he tucked a stray hair behind my ear his hands lingering on my face.

"How many times do I have to tell you before your believe me?"

"Zeld-"

"No Rav I don't care of your the goddess of nature to me your the most kindhearted self sacrificing being I've ever known and I love you that's all that matters."

Pulling me in he rested his chin on my head as he encircled his arms around me. 

"I can't begin to know what you've gone through in your past lives but I know this one and this one is all that matters right now. You can't live in fear of loosing those you love."

'You need to tell him the truth small one.'

'You know I can't.'

I growled forcing him away with my wind. He made to approach again but I raised my hand my goddess powers holding him in place.

"I am a goddess! You know nothing! Your words mean nothing!"

He struggled against my hold but it was useless.

"Rav what are you doing?!"

I smiled but I knew my smile would not reach my eyes.

"What I must to end the suffering, to end the pain. Go zeldius of the forest lakes pack and do what I have ordered. My pack, my legacy will need your help if we are to defeat this enemy."

Turning he started towards the door rage rolling off him like steam. Just as his hand touched the doorknob I added.

"I'm sorry Zeld."

Turning his head he spoke through gritted teeth.

"You may be a goddess Rav but that doesn't mean you know what's best for any of us."

I waited for him to leave before I turned back to the window the moon almost completely full. 

'She plans on using the power of the full moon.'

'Yes but it also helps our ranks aswell.'

I shook my head.

'Not this moon.'

Caryi's gasp was enough for me to know she had just realised what we were in for.

'You don't mean...'

'Yes Caryi tomorrow night will be a blood moon. A moon where she will draw from the blood power sealed within that moon.'

'But if that's true should we not let the others know?'

Stepping forward I passed through the same gap in the window becoming the wind itself as I landed on the ground beneath. 

'Why? it wouldn't change our plans nor the fact that they must hold the rest of them off while we gain the last piece of my power.'

'How do you plan to do that? She knows you can't beat her without it you'll be planning right into her hands.'

I chuckled.

'After all this time you still doubt me? I thought you were meant to be the white wolf of nature, wiser then even me.'

'Yes wiser that's why I know that your plan is dangerous. You could very well make things worse.'

'It's a risk I must take if all werewolves are to be free of Luna's hatred.'

'Firstly the Druid tree should be ready by now.'

I made my way through the trees finding my way back to the great oak that I had sent my power into earlier. Placing my hand on its side I closed my eyes. I followed the roots deep into the ground as I made my way to the person I knew I'd find.

'Ki?'

His voice answered after only a few seconds.

'Rave? Is that you?'

'Yes.'

'Where are you? Don't tell me you started your attack early?'

'Relax Ki I'm still in the red paw packs territory. Listen I can't talk for long but I need to know if your alright.'

'Your still at Damiens how is this possible?'

He growled.

'No never mind it's not important Rave you need to know Luna-'

'Is on her way here I know don't worry we are already preparing. I assume this means she figured out you planned to betray her?'

'Yes she has taken me captive my pack must fight for her or she kills me I tried to tell them to forget about me but..'

His voice trailed off I knew what he was going to say. Ki was the last heir to the blue moon pack without him there was no hope that the blue moon pack could survive. 

'Don't worry I understand we are prepared to face all three packs. Listen Ki since you are unable to be here when the time comes there is something I must tell you before I go.'

'Go? Go where? Rave what are you talking about?'

'Never mind the details just listen. There is a reason you thought you were mated to me.'

I paused while I could not tell Zeld the truth maybe telling Ki the truth would be enough to ease my conscious. 

'Rave-'

'Your mated bond was to this body, it is as you said I am the moon goddess and I borrowed this body from your true mate that died many years ago. You are the reincarnation of her former mate. I'm so sorry Ki her death is my fault the misdeeds of my past cursed all of us to walk the same path again and again. The love I held for you was the remnants of the love this body felt. Your pack did not loose its power you had it all along, your packs true power is love. The love you felt for her back then was more pure then anything. Her light shined brighter because of you. Please Ki forgive me for taking her away from you and forcing you to loose her over and over again. I only hope that this time I am able to end this curse and allow you to finally be reunited with your true mate.' 

I started to withdraw Ki's silence answer enough. Opening my eyes once more I looked up at the branches of the tree before me.

'By tomorrow night the trap will be set all we have to do is lure her here. Don't worry Caryi we will be our true selfs soon.'