6. Your not my mate

I couldn't believe it just when I thought things couldn't get worse. How could so much happen in such a short time. Maybe I really was cursed surely only some one who's cursed could have so much bad luck.

My anger grew as my thoughts swirled I hated it here. This house this town the packs as far as I was concerned they could all go to hell. My rage reached monumental levels as I started throwing things across the room. Just the thought of the locked door and being trapped in here made me furious. 

"You'll pay for this! Next time you come in here I'll rip your throat out!"

After fifteen minutes of raging the room was trashed no piece of furniture was left unscathed. Soon a began to pound against the door the wood starting to bow with the force of my attacks. 

That was til finally it burst outward splinters flying everywhere. I rushed out of the room running down the hall the sudden need to run overwhelming me. I needed fresh air I needed out of this house with its four walls that felt like it was crushing me. 

How these pack wolves lived in this environment with no woods no scent of pines no freedom my rage boiled.

I ran past pack members startled at the sight of me running through the house desperate for an exit. Finally hitting the first floor I jumped through a window rolling I sprang to my feet running as fast as my legs could carry me.

What I hadn't even noticed on the way in too captivated by the house. was that the rear opened up to a wide span of forests. I headed for the large gates that stood between my freedom.

I was only a few meters out when a grey and white blur of fur jumped at me from the side. I turned to face it my hands out like claws even thought none were there ready to fight my way out.

"Out of my way dog!"

He didn't move as he stood between me and the gates to the woods. One look at the wolf's eyes and I knew who it was.

"Get out of my way Kianti you can not keep me here!"

I put my hand to the ground ready to pounce as I growled.

He shifted his hands raised.

"Rave calm down your loosing control."

I laughed at him but my laugh tasted bitter. The fact that he was naked didn't even faze me I was too far gone.

"How can I loose control if I have no wolf?"

"But you are loosing control. Look I'm sorry I locked you up clearly your more wolf then I thought."

I growled again.

"What's that supposed to mean?! I've always been a wolf just because I can't shift and can't hear my wolf doesn't make me any less wolf then anyone else."

He slowly stepped closer I kept my eyes on him watching every move.

"Your right you are still a wolf I didn't mean it that way."

I swiped at his hand when he got too close.

"Let me go!"

"I can't do that."

"I would rather die out there then be trapped inside now move or kill me here now."

He shook his head.

"You know I won't hurt you."

I snarled swiping at him again.

"MOVE!"

"Rave listen to me what your feeling is perfectly normal. It's your wolf you may not be able to hear her but she must be there else how could we be mated?"

I snarled again.

"YOUR NOT MY MATE!"

I jumped at him he side stepped grabbing my wrists and slammed me into the ground as he pinned my legs with his body while pinning my arms above my head.

"I didn't want to do this but you give me no choice."

His eyes glowed as he used his alpha voice.

"STOP!"

Instantly my body stopped struggling, but my growls still held as I tried to bite him.

"Calm down!"

His alpha voice washed over me as my heart steadily started to slow back down. My mind becoming clearer. My eyes blinked rapidly as I returned to myself. 

Not being able to met his eyes I turned to the side still pinned down by him.

"Are you clam now?"

Embarrassed by what I'd done I nodded.

"Good now I'm going to let you go ok?"

Again I nodded.

He stepped back just as a pack wolf threw him another pair of pants. It was then That I realised we had an audience which only servered to add to my embarrassment.

Kianti noticed and sent everyone back to what they were doing till it was just us left.

He knelt next to me as he reached out to touch my face. I slapped his hand away.

"Don't touch me!"

I small voice inside me whimpered at the words I yelled at him but I didn't care. I was exhausted whatever happened to me had never happened before. I guess the stress of being back here awoke something in me I thought I didn't have.....my wolf. 

Though I still couldn't hear her I did sense something inside me that spoke to my very soul. If this was true why couldn't I hear her and why did it take so long for her to come to me?

I turned to Kianti his bare chest stirring something inside me I refused to acknowledge. I refused to believe that this alpha was my mate because it meant that I did belong in this world of packs and corporate wolves obsessed with power.

No that wasn't me it never had been me I was glad I'd been banished because it gave me the excuse I needed to leave this life.

Slowly I looked up at Kianti his eyes had so much worry in them.

"Rave-"

"Please."

I cut him off.

"Please Kianti let me go home I don't belong here I never have."

He knelt down as slowly he lifted me up into his arms. I was tiny compared to him so much smaller then any normal wolf. I allowed him to hold me since I had no more strength to fight him.

"I can't...you know I can't."

A tear escaped my eye I hated that I still had tears for it only made me look even weaker.

"Loki can keep me safe please let me go home."

Kiantis blue eyes delved into my own I knew it would hurt him to let me go. The mate bound was a strong force not easily broken. I had to make him see I was not the right female for him.

The pain in his eyes when he said his next words almost made me regret my request but I knew it was for the best.

"I can't take that chance Rave."

Here he sighed.

"But once he is dead if you still want to go I will not stop you."

I smiled sadly knowing how hard it was for him to say that.

"Thank you Kianti."

He wouldn't look into my eyes as he started carrying me back to the house. I knew I had hurt him I knew it yet I couldn't take back my request. He deserved better then me I was weak I would only make him weak too and for an alpha of one of the biggest packs in America being weak was dangerous.

Kianti carried me up the stairs in silence I expected him to stop at the third floor but he kept going. I started to panic looking around.

"Where are you taking me?"

Still without looking at me he answered.

"To my room."

"What why?!"

"Because when you lost control you trashed your room remember."

He answered bitterly.

"But why your room surely there's another room I can stay in?"

Finally he looked down at me but his face was blank of emotion making me miss the smile he used to have when he looked at me.

"There isnt any. More of the pack is staying here since the attack in Colorado your room was the only one spare."

As we neared the top floor my heart pounding I tried again.

"Then I'll just bunk with one of the pack."

He growled at my suggestion.

"Definitely not you'll stay with me so I can keep you safe. As much as you hate the thought of being my mate, it doesn't change the fact that you are and I will protect you even if it means my life."

I looked away not being able to look into those eyes knowing that he meant every word.

"Your an idiot."

"What makes me an idiot?"

"Your an alpha I'm just a wolf that can't even shift nor hear my wolf I'm weak. Your life means more then mine. If you die it effects every member of your pack if I die nothing changes."

He stopped in front of a door on the fourth floor but didn't open it, causing me to turn back to him his eyes had softened as he looked down at me.

"You are not weak Raven I know why you would think that given that that's all you've heard all your life but there is more to strength then the physical.  The day I met you I was a stranger, you saw me as a lone wolf who had just broke into your house. If it was anyone else they would have killed me on the spot out of fear."

He opened the door revealing his room. The large king size bed was made of solid wood wolves carved into the head of the bed as they ran through a forest scene. It was beautiful but that's not what caught my eye as I looked around there were stacks of books everywhere. 

He didn't even have a tv just books my eyes widened in surprise as he carried me to the bed.

Lying me down he tucked a stray hair behind my ear his hand lingering on my cheek.

"There is strength in you that goes beyond the physical. A strength in character that would make you a great Luna for this pack if you'd just see yourself as I see you, you would know your life is just as important as mine."

I looked away not being able to look into those luminous blue eyes for fear that I would start believing his words. 

He sighed as he kissed my forehead.

"Go to sleep Rave tomorrow we start training."

I snapped my head back.

"Training?"

He stood up looking down at me.

"I want to show you how strong you are."

He smiled trying to make light of the situation.

"What else do you have to do while we wait for the bounty hunter to make his next move."

Despite my mood I found myself smiling at his words.

"True but I already know how to fight. Before I was banished I was taught by the best instructors of the moon goddess pack."

His smiled widened his smug arrogance returning.

"But they weren't me."

Without another word he left the room leaving me to think about everything that had happened and the words he had spoken.

Was he right was I strong in my own way. I shook my head all wolfs respected strength in fighting not character what good was strength of character not that I believed that I had any. 

He was right though what else did I have to do it had already been four days and still no sign of the bounty hunter if anything it was a way to pass the time. Though if my father got his way I may have less time then I thought.

Closing my eyes my exhaustion washed over me as I drifted off to sleep the smell of Kianti a comfort making me smile.