Drunk

The next afternoon sat I was in my room on the laptop I borrowed from David. When the door opened without warning and I turned back and looked into tired Golden Eyes. Nick closed the door behind him and then turned back to me so that I got up, but stayed at the table. "Well, did you sleep in yours out?" I couldn't help myself. I was still angry with him. Not only because he hadn't said goodbye, but generally because of the weekend. The first Day we had like that had a lot of fun together, no stress, no argument. Everything had been really nice, we had a lot of fun together, and he didn't drink that much either. The next day had started well. I was happy to go into town with him and spend a few hours alone until his mother showed up. After that everything went downhill.

I had thought all night about how it was the last few months and how I could change it so that everything would be fine. But I don't think so and slowly I thought that it would never get better. So what should i do Just carry on as before. Get upset every weekend? Arguing with Nick about stupid things? Maybe I should just take a look at what happened now and then just leave everything to fate.

I noticed that Nick hadn't responded to my question. We both just stared at each other. So I kept talking.

"Heard that you couldn't say goodbye because you were finished." Nick's eyes narrowed as I finished the sentence.

"No ... I didn't feel like it." He growled.

"What?" I asked angrily. He hadn't really said that, did he?

"I didn't feel like it because I was angry." He continued. I couldn't believe it.

"Oh, you were angry?" I was probably the one who had reason to be angry and not him!

"You can certainly imagine why." He then also said.

"No." I hissed at him. Nick just shook his head.

"I can't get this you ..." He paused for a moment.

“You always hold yourself back when I get on with it. You know what I mean. Man, I don't get what you're waiting for. I can't wait forever until you've decided what you want. I don't even know if you still think it's all good and if it's good enough for you. ”He looked me in the eye before continuing.

"About us." I was loose for a moment.

"What?" I first had to think about what to answer.

" What shoud that? You're only saying that because I won't let you answer. It's your own fault, you always come up with the shit when you're close to drinking or any other shit that you always have to take. "

" Jolina. "He interrupted me, but I didn't let him talk.

"That's how it is. don't deny it! ”Nick shook his head again.

“It just won't work, you're not ready for me yet. You're still too young for such a relationship. My feelings are too big for you and yours for me, that's the problem. And that doesn't work anymore. ”Now I was really shocked. Was he about to break up with me? I took a step towards him.

“You dare to tell me that your feelings are too big for me but mine are not for you? I come here every fucking weekend for you. I forgive you every time you gave me shit ... We always fight because of you! So who of us is the adult here? You never respond to me or my feelings. You're the one who only thinks of yourself, not me. So don't tell me your feelings are bigger You never have to say that shit again! ”

“ It is true! ”He growled anyway.

"How do you want to know?" I hissed.

"I just know."

"Where from?" I yelled at him now.

"Where from?" I said a little more quietly.

"I just know." Nick started to scream slightly now.

" Oh yes? and where from? ”We rocked each other higher and higher with our anger.

"Because-" he screamed before suddenly becoming quieter.

"I fell in love with you." He stared into my eyes.

Did I just really hear that? We'd never talked about how we felt, whether he or I was in love with him. Of course I was in love with him, otherwise I wouldn't be with him, but I had never told him because he had never said it either.

"What?" I whispered.

"I love you," he said then. I kept staring at him. Nick sighed and ran a hand through his hair, then shook his head again. I didn't get anything off my lips. I was so shocked. First he just told me that he was in love with me and then all of a sudden he told me that he loved me. I was really overwhelmed at the moment. When I still didn't say anything, he continued.

"And you don't me." He said in a hoarse voice and then turned around and opened the door and walked out of the room without looking at me again.

I would probably just stand there for minutes, staring at the door.

I didn't hear from Nick all week. Why also. I had my cell phone in my hand twice and wanted to call him, but what should I have told him? Probably he would not have answered so why if he had seen that it was me.

Today was Friday and the last lesson had just started, the others in my class were all talking about what they wanted to do tonight and I still didn't know if I should stay home. I thought about it for the whole hour.

On the way home I received a text message. I paused briefly in my walk when I saw that it was from Nick. My heart was beating faster and faster when I opened the text message.

He just wrote that I should come. That I don't have to stay home just because of him. That we are adults and can deal with it normally. That it wasn't a big deal.

I thought the sms were funny. I didn't know what to think about it.

It was written so strangely and that he had written that it wasn't a big deal, I also found it very strange. Either he wanted me to come and talk again or he didn't mean it seriously. Of course I would go now, alone to talk to him again. I had to clear it up with him, I didn't want it to end. I've never had such feelings for another person. But a lot had to change in any case.

I had just changed. I was running late. David had already gone to the club. I wanted to come after. Somehow I was excited to see Nick again and I had made myself up just as he would like it. A black Jenas mini skirt with fishnet tights, black high heels and a dark red halter top. I was made up as always. Thin black eyeliner, mascara and blush are easy. I had my hair down. Then we started.

When I got to the club, I looked for Nick so that Sven noticed and came to me.

"Hey are you okay?" I nodded, but kept looking around.

"Do you know what's going on with Nick, does he have problems again?" When Sven said that, I looked at him.

"Why?" I asked carefully at first. I didn't know if Nick had told him about us. He shrugged his shoulders and then dropped them again.

“He's been kind of weird during the week. Didn't get in touch with anyone and yesterday when I was with him he was in a bad mood the whole time and was really drunk. “Great. I could probably forget that he would stop shit.

"Do you think he's not coming today?" Sven shook his head.

"I don't think so, otherwise he would be here already." Was that why he wrote me that I could come because he didn't plan to see me this weekend anyway? What should I do now, just stay here and wait if he would come? No!