Prologue

Drugs - 

Were drugs his other love that he couldn't give up or were they his real love? I had to ask myself that over and over again.

I hated him! I hated everything about him!

That he pumped himself full of drugs and alcohol! Its mood swings! When he touched me and when he didn't touch me. His promises and excuses that in his eyes I was a little stupid girl.

But as much as I hated him, I loved him as much.

Maybe I was really a stupid little girl who was just desperately trying to save something that didn't want to be saved?

Is it worth fighting or should you give up at some point and leave everything to fate ?!

Prologue-

This "club", if you could call it that, was the funniest and most disgusting club I had ever seen, let alone walked into. Not that I'd been to any club many times. To be honest, it was the first time. A few days ago I moved to live with my relatives - away from home and from my parents who had to move again on business. Since this time it was not a different city - like the four other times before - but a different country, I refused to come with me. Of course, with my "just 16 years" I couldn't stay alone in our house.

So I only had two options: boarding school or moving in with my aunt and uncle who lived a few cities away.

I had opted for the second option, although at first I found this option very idiotic. My aunt and uncle were actually out and about as often as my parents. But I wasn't expecting my big cousin then. I had seen him maybe twice in my life, which meant we hardly knew each other. When he heard that I was moving in with them, he thought it was anything but great. For him that meant that he could play babysitter, as he had put it so nicely.

That was also the reason why I was standing here in this shabby club now. David - my cousin - felt sorry for me when he saw that I was crouching at home alone on a Saturday night, so he took me to his regular club. At the entrance he proudly reported to me that not everyone knew the club and not everyone came in either. But that didn't interest me! The club was tucked away in a side street, behind a Chinese takeout. I almost passed there if David hadn't grabbed my arm and made me stop. We had to go down a flight of stairs where a beefy man in black was standing. The two apparently knew each other, because they shook hands and I immediately noticed his look, which ran over my body. I looked at David, who just grinned at me and said to the jerk in black that I was okay. I just saw the man nod and he opened the door for us. David held out his arm so I could pick up on him. I was surprised that he even did that. But I didn't say anything, just walked next to him, towards another door.

He slowed his pace, I looked at him and he stopped.

"We have to discuss something before we go in." I looked at him, perplexed, so that he continued.

“Everything you will see in this club you have to keep to yourself. And the most important thing is: Don't let strangers sell you anything! Just take something from the people who sit with us! Understand? ”I was a bit confused, but simply nodded.

"Take off your jacket! I've already seen what you've got at home. ”He pointed down at me.

"So you immediately attract attention."

I did as I was told and took off my coat. David eyed me before giving a satisfied nod. I wore a denim mini skirt with hold-up black stockings, a dark simple top and black stilettos. My black shoulder-length hair fell down on me in gentle waves. As always, I was made up with mascara and a dark eyeliner. That went - in my opinion - best with my gray eyes.

David held out his arm to me again and I hacked under him again.

Then we went on and when he touched the doorknob, he looked at me again.

"Ready?" He asked.

"Yes," I replied and he opened the door.

So there I was, in this weird, gross club. The music was deafening. The interior looked like it had been randomly thrown together from scraps of old. But I wouldn't have called this shabby room a club. The plaster was already crumbling from the ceiling, as was the wallpaper, which was peeling in some places. I found that almost every second person had a different glass, although they probably drank the same. Really weird.

There was a small bar and a couple of high tables on the sides of the room. Some people danced in the middle. Then I noticed that there were two niches to the right and left in the back where a few people were sitting on old sofas and armchairs. Their drinks were on a small table and they were talking. David pointed to the alcove on the left.

"These are my people," he called close to my ear.

I looked at him and nodded so that he knew I understood. Then we went on. On the way back he greeted a few people here and there with a handshake or a "hey". When we got into the niche with "his people", I had to detach my arm from him because he took it away and put it around my waist. I didn't like that, because now almost everyone looked up at us and greeted David loudly.

I looked at one after the other. Some of them looked normal, but a few were really gross too. Oily hair, yellow teeth and dirty clothes. I had to hold back an expression of disgust. And then my heart suddenly stopped for a second! I stared into two sparkling green and yellow eyes. They were light green with dots speckled with yellow around the iris - like liquid gold or honey.

I had never seen such beautiful eyes before.

“Who is the cutie? New from you? ”

Only then did I notice that I was still staring at the man, even when I heard someone else talk. But the man stared at me just as I stared at him.

He must have thought I was deranged or something.

I tore myself away from his sight and looked at David.

“No, that's my little cousin Jolina, right ?!”

I saw a few people nod around.

David directed me to an empty seat on the sofa. I prayed that he would sit with me, which luckily he did.