Chapter 11- Thea

**Thea** 

“Now!? You’re leaving NOW?!” Gurtar was furious. “It’s almost nightfall! Do you know how indecent it is to leave with a strange man at this time of day?” “I don’t think that is any longer you concern” I said, braver than I had ever spoken to her in the past. “You cheeky ungrateful cow!” Gurtar spat at me. “After all I’ve done for you”. She smacked the edge of the bar loudly, and the few patrons that were in tonight looked up in interest at our public display “Do you know how much coin I’ve been offered by various people to fuck you? I would be a rich woman by now. But I saved you from that life!”

“Gurtar, I cannot deny, you took me in when others would have left me to die. But you never showed me love, if you had, I would have shown you it back”. She looked taken aback for a second, but her chubby red face began to laugh. “Love you? The likely result of your mother’s drunk quickie?! You must be joking! What could anyone ever love about you?” She came close to my face, so close I could smell her rotten breath. “When this goes wrong, and it will, don’t you come back here crying for help, because I’ll let you rot in the gutter this time”. She turned, and began to walk towards the back of the bar. Despite her constant mistreatment of me over the years, her words still hurt. She had been the closest thing I’d had to a mother, even if she was a terrible one. “I’d take the gutter over this hole!” I shouted at her back.

She stopped, turned and picked up an empty tankard from the side of the bar. She walked towards me rage burning in her eyes, and I knew she was going to hit me. Before she got to me, the man who called himself Atlas came in between us, with his hand firmly on his sword. “I suggest you stop what you’re about to do, or you will lose the money I promised and at least one of your limbs”. I could not see his face, but I could see Gurtar’s. I had never once seen her afraid. Even after years of drunk men becoming violent and threatening towards her. But in this moment, she looked terrified. I had to admit, part of me enjoyed seeing the tables turn on her.

She placed the tankard back on the bar and backed away. He removed a large purse from his belt and threw it on the floor next to her. It made a large clinking thud as it hit the ground, and Gurtar jumped at the noise. Seconds later though she was scooping it up, although she kept her eyes on Atlas. It was as if she expected him to run her through with his sword while she wasn’t looking.

Atlas turned to me. He looked angry. I buckled under his gaze, but his face immediately softened. There was something about him. There was danger in him clearly, but there was something else I was drawn to. Something I didn’t really have an answer for. “Come, collect your things, we should go”. I looked up “I have no things to collect”. He smiled sadly and gestured for me to lead the way out the door.

Once outside, he walked over to a stunning black stallion tied to a post. The horse was one of the most healthy-looking horses I had ever seen. Only people with money had horses this well-kept. While Atlas checked the saddle and bags, I was able to regard him without him noticing. He was a tall man, at least a foot taller than myself. He was well built, and looked like a soldier. He had dark hair, almost as black as the horse he rode. His hair was long too, braided at the sides and tied at the nape of his neck. He had a short well-groomed beard that made him look powerful. The way his hands moved skilfully over the buckles of the saddle made me think about what other talents he might have. I was suddenly shocked by my thoughts. I’d never had that kind of thought before. I realised that I thought he was handsome, but I didn’t really want to think about those kinds of feelings. My experience of men so far had not been good, and yet I seemed to trust this one already. I didn’t know why, I just felt he would keep me safe.

“Thea! Come over here!” I turned in the direction of the voice and saw Elena standing by the side of the inn. Atlas looked at me as if to ask if I needed help. “It’s okay, I’ll only be a minute”. He didn’t look happy, but he nodded and watched me walk over to her. I looked into her face and saw genuine concern. “Thea, are you sure this is the right choice? You don’t have much experience with men…what if he’s going to hurt you. It seems crazy for you to go” “And you think I’d be safe staying here with her?” I flicked my eyes towards the inn. Her face changed “Yes you’re probably right. But you should still be careful”. I smiled and pulled her into an embrace. Still holding on I whispered in her ear “It’s okay, I feel safe. Thank you for showing me the only kindness I have ever known”. I squeezed her gently then let her go. She smiled at me but said nothing more.

I walked back to Atlas. “Here, take this, you will need it if we travel through the night”. He held out a fur lined cloak. “Thank you” I said quietly, wrapping it round my shoulders. It felt wonderfully warm. He looked at the horse and then back at me. “Well, if you’re ready, we will set off…are you happy for me to pick you up so I can put you on the saddle?” I nodded shyly, feeling too embarrassed to look him in the eye. He wrapped his hands around my waist, and lifted me up as if I was a feather. I realised I should be thinking less about his hands on my waist, and more about being on a horse for the first time. It was so strange being up this high. The saddle was not uncomfortable right now, but I could imagine after a few hours I wouldn’t feel the same. Atlas pushed himself up so he was behind me. “Thea, hold on to the front of the saddle, I will use the reigns to steer”. All I could manage in response was “okay”. I felt his leg move behind me, and with a sharp tap of his boot the horse moved forward.

It was almost completely dark now. As we moved out of the village people were giving me odd looks, clearly confused as to why I was riding out of the village with a stranger. I knew a lot of them, not particularly as friends, but they were still people I had known all my life. As we approached the edge of the village that led to the main road, I realised I had never been this far from the inn. I had never left the village. The thought frightened and excited me at the same time. Maybe Elena was right, I was crazy. Although something inside me reassured me that I was making the right choice. Besides, staying at the inn would have left me with a dark future.

As we made it past the entrance to the village, a wave of relief came over me. My shoulders relaxed, and without thinking I sank backwards into Atlas’s front. “Are you okay Thea?” Embarrassment washed over me, I hoped he didn’t think I was flirting with him. “Oh, yes, I’m sorry...I didn’t mean…” I tailed off, not knowing what else to say. He chuckled lightly. “Don’t worry, this is a new sensation for you on an already very strange evening. Just try to relax, we will stop in a few hours to give the horse a break. If you’re tired, you need to tell me- we can stop so you can sleep or I can tie you to me so you don’t fall off the horse”. Both those options frightened me. Sleeping out in the woods with a strange man or being tied to him while I slept…no, I needed to stay wide awake. “No no, it’s okay, I’m used to not having a lot of sleep”. It was true. Sometimes Gurtar would get me to stay up until the early hours so I could clean up the bar of broken tankards and vomit. I gripped tightly to the saddle and stared ahead, waiting to see which turn my life would take next.