Chapter 12- Atlas

**Atlas**

The castle came into view, I heard her gasp. I realised it was probably the biggest structure she’d ever seen in her life. I sensed awe but also a small amount of apprehension in the way she gazed up, her mouth parted slightly. As she marvelled at my home, I marvelled yet again at her beauty.

Conflicting emotions began battling in my head. On one hand, the journey had been torturous. Being so close to her, her back occasionally falling onto me, my hands grazing her thighs as I steered the horse, her scent filling my nose…It was almost impossible to resist her. On the other hand, I knew that this journey was the closest I was ever going to get to her. Soon we would be separated and I would never have a reason to touch her again. My wolf was furious with me.

We had arrived around dawn, having not slept at all since I had left yesterday, I was not only emotionally exhausted, but physically too. As soon as I gave a brief handover to Jarin, I needed to be alone in my chambers. What was I going to say to Jarin?

As we came closer to the front gates, I heard her gasp. I realised it was probably the biggest structure she’d ever seen in her life. I sensed awe but also a small amount of apprehension in the way she gazed

I had already mind linked with Doran on our way back. He was going to meet us in the courtyard with his mate, Bessie. I knew Thea would need to get washed and changed into some better clothes before she met Jarin. I wanted Bessie there to offer her some female reassurance. We passed through the gates and into the courtyard, I saw Doran and Bessie waiting. I dismounted and offered my hands to help Thea get down. She looked just as exhausted as I felt. “Thea, this is Doran and Bessie. They are close friends and I trust them implicitly”. Thea shyly nodded and smiled in their direction.

Bessie stepped forward and placed her hand gently on Thea’s arm. “You are very welcome Thea, if your comfortable I’d like to take you to the rooms you will be staying in. I’ll make sure you get something good to eat, a bath and a change of clothes. You will of course be able to rest too”. Thea looked up at Bessie “Thank you, that’s very kind…” She turned to look at me, as if wanting me to give her permission. “You are your own person now Thea, you make your own choices.” Thea nodded, as if accepting my words. Bessie gestured for her to follow her, and I watched as they walked away into the castle.

I turned to Doran who was watching me curiously. “Bessie knows not to say anything yet, about who she is”. “Yes Atlas, she knows. She will also ensure she is kept secret until Jarin decides if and when to present her. We’ve chosen rooms in the part of the castle that is not well used. So, she won’t be discovered...” “Good, that’s good. If our people do come across her just tell everyone she’s a rouge that is helping us gather some information about an enemy pack” Doran nodded in agreement.

He hesitated, as if not sure if he should ask his next question. “Atlas, you seemed very sure in your message that she is a hybrid, or at least has some supernatural blood in her…what evidence did you discover?” I busied myself with taking the packs off my horse, not wanting to meet his eye. “Just some of her behaviours”. I could feel his gaze on me, there was a pause. “Atlas, is Thea your mate?” I froze. I didn’t know what to say. I finally turned to him. “Why would you think that?”. Doran sighed, I could tell there was pity in his eyes, and I hated it. “I have known you for a long time, and I know the look a wolf gives his mate. I’ve never seen you look at a woman like that. Ever”. My head swam with emotion, hearing someone else confirm what I already knew made it more real, and therefore more painful. Unable to speak, I just nodded my head. Doran sighed but he looked confused “She doesn’t look like she knows? How? She would have known the moment she saw you, wouldn’t she?” I looked at him, not wanting to lie I said “I can’t tell you how Doran, but she doesn’t know”. He put his hand on my shoulder, he guessed this was between me and Jarin and knew I couldn’t disobey an order from our Alpha.

“You need to tell Jarin” “I haven’t decided if I will or not yet”. “Atlas! You can’t let him marry your mate, have children with YOUR mate without knowing!”. I moved away from him sharply. “We both know if I tell him he will never marry her, and then what? I am responsible for the decline in our species? Go down in our soon to be short history as the love sick coward, that was so selfish he couldn’t see beyond his own interests!” I breathed heavily. “We can find another hybrid Atlas, we just have to keep looking” he spoke softly, as if to counter my rage and frustration. “You know as well as I do, we do not have the time to wait. We got lucky we found Thea so quickly. I doubt we will be as lucky again.” I turned to him, looking him straight in the eye. “Doran, I forbid you to tell Alpha Jarin or anyone else that Thea is my mate”. The only order that could undo mine as Beta was Jarin’s. He looked at me sadly. “Yes, Beta”.

I took a deep breath, and mind linked with Jarin to let him know I had arrived back. It wasn’t long before I was outside his chambers. I stood there dumbly, knowing that the next conversation with him was going to dictate how the rest of my life played out. “Atlas? Are you out there?” Jarin called from inside. Stupid, of course he would sense you this close. I pushed the door open to see him standing there looking confused. “Sorry Alpha, it was a long trip, I’m a little dazed”. “Of course, of course, I won’t keep you long”. He gestured to a chair and I sat down heavily. He looked at me expectantly “So?” “Er yes sorry Alpha, it is good news…I believe I have brought a hybrid back with me. Her name is Thea.” Jarin gasped. “Well done Atlas! Are you certain?” I tried to smile and pretend I was as happy as he looked. “I am as certain as I can be, given the short amount of time I’ve spent with her. And she needs to be assessed further to be sure…I’m afraid she has no knowledge of the supernatural world whatsoever”. Jarin nodded “Well then we will introduce her to everything as gently as we can. Let her rest for now, I may not be able to see her today anyway”. “Alpha, there is one more thing…” I paused. I could tell him now; I could tell him she is my mate. The words seemed to move from my throat into my mouth but then stopped before my lips parted. I couldn’t. “Yes?” Jarin was looking at me, confused as to why I was hesitating. Then I remembered her necklace that looked like mine. “She has a pendant, like the one you gave me. She says she has had it as long as she can remember. I asked her if it could do anything, but she was confused by the question”. Now it was Jarin’s turn to be quiet. “The previous Alpha never mentioned anything about there being others like it. I would be interested to see it.” "Yes Alpha, of course.” “Speaking of which Atlas, I’ll ask you to return the one I gave you, seeing as you will no longer need it”. My heart sank, if I refused to give it to him, he would be suspicious. If I gave to him and Thea saw me without it… “Alpha, would you mind if I kept it for a while longer. Just until after what I hope will be your wedding and things are settled?”

“Why would you want that?” “I just...don’t want any possible distractions from my work, not when we are at such a crucial point in our history”. He looked at me hard “Atlas. Are you sure there’s nothing you need to tell me? About Thea?” I hated lying to him but I couldn’t see any other way. “No Alpha, I meant it when I said I’m not interested in a mate at this time. I watch others like Doran fawning over their mates. Right now I’d rather occasionally enjoy myself and focus on the survival on our pack” The words tasted dirty in my mouth. I held my breath as Jarin considered me. “If you are sure that’s what you want…of course, you may keep it until we are in a better position.” Relief washed over me. “Thank you Alpha, I appreciate it greatly”. “Now you must go and rest Atlas. I’m afraid though we must speak again before dark”. I nodded and made my way out of his chambers. How was I ever going to truly rest again?